I feel like this would probably be far better asked in ~life.women than ~life.men, since getting advice and the perspective of women on this issue is likely going to be far more helpful to you....
I feel like this would probably be far better asked in ~life.women than ~life.men, since getting advice and the perspective of women on this issue is likely going to be far more helpful to you.
Oh, shit. Now I feel bad. I genuinely didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, or totally derail the topic. Sorry! Had you given it some time, I'm sure enough people would have labeled my comment...
Oh, shit. Now I feel bad. I genuinely didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, or totally derail the topic. Sorry!
Had you given it some time, I'm sure enough people would have labeled my comment offtopic that it wouldn't have remained at the top. It's clear that this is a touchy subject though, and I don't want to make you even more uncomfortable so I'll just leave things be... unless you actually do want to talk about it in private with me, in which case I am all ears, and I promise I will try to be more sensitive and less hamfisted in my approach. :(
Again, I apologize for making you uncomfortable and derailing the topic. I really didn't intend to do that. Honest.
If you want to post this again I will keep my trap shut next time. Not to absolve myself for my insensitive actions, but in all honesty, I wouldn't be surprised if the same advice to post it in...
If you want to post this again I will keep my trap shut next time. Not to absolve myself for my insensitive actions, but in all honesty, I wouldn't be surprised if the same advice to post it in ~life.women comes up again though. :/
For what it's worth, I agree with all the advice that got posted already. So long as the compliment is sincere, is about something the person can change and made a choice about, and is made in a...
For what it's worth, I agree with all the advice that got posted already. So long as the compliment is sincere, is about something the person can change and made a choice about, and is made in a safe location, there is nothing wrong with men complimenting women. Perhaps I'm a bit biased (and have an advantage) as a queer man, but I've never had any issues giving women a compliment... but I think the approach definitely matters too. E.g. "I love your dress" is fine, vs. "your dress is sexy" which hints at an ulterior motive.
The general rule is: compliment something that the other person can change (e.g. clothes, haircuts, accessories etc.) and not something they can't (e.g. body). It's perfectly legit to say 'love...
The general rule is: compliment something that the other person can change (e.g. clothes, haircuts, accessories etc.) and not something they can't (e.g. body). It's perfectly legit to say 'love your hat' or 'that's a really cool pin', but 'your eyes are beautiful' is likely to come across weird even if it was meant in a platonic way.
I'd say yes? Just keep in mind the time and place, i.e complementing someone in a brightly lit, public grocery store is a better situation than on the street at dusk, probably obvious but good to...
I'd say yes? Just keep in mind the time and place, i.e complementing someone in a brightly lit, public grocery store is a better situation than on the street at dusk, probably obvious but good to keep in mind.
If it's a genuine compliment without an ulterior motive then it's totally fine, especially if you are pointing out exactly what is making their appearance noticeable. e.g. "I like how that dress...
If it's a genuine compliment without an ulterior motive then it's totally fine, especially if you are pointing out exactly what is making their appearance noticeable. e.g. "I like how that dress flows"
I feel like this would probably be far better asked in ~life.women than ~life.men, since getting advice and the perspective of women on this issue is likely going to be far more helpful to you.
/offtopic
I wasn't planning on moving it without your permission. If you don't mind my asking, why are you not comfortable in that group though?
Sorry, friend, I will delete everything. We can talk in private if you wish.
Oh, shit. Now I feel bad. I genuinely didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, or totally derail the topic. Sorry!
Had you given it some time, I'm sure enough people would have labeled my comment offtopic that it wouldn't have remained at the top. It's clear that this is a touchy subject though, and I don't want to make you even more uncomfortable so I'll just leave things be... unless you actually do want to talk about it in private with me, in which case I am all ears, and I promise I will try to be more sensitive and less hamfisted in my approach. :(
Again, I apologize for making you uncomfortable and derailing the topic. I really didn't intend to do that. Honest.
This has nothing to do with you. Don't feel bad.
If you want to post this again I will keep my trap shut next time. Not to absolve myself for my insensitive actions, but in all honesty, I wouldn't be surprised if the same advice to post it in ~life.women comes up again though. :/
Nah... that's fine. It is Saturday and I don't wanna get stressed out. It is best this way. No problem.
For what it's worth, I agree with all the advice that got posted already. So long as the compliment is sincere, is about something the person can change and made a choice about, and is made in a safe location, there is nothing wrong with men complimenting women. Perhaps I'm a bit biased (and have an advantage) as a queer man, but I've never had any issues giving women a compliment... but I think the approach definitely matters too. E.g. "I love your dress" is fine, vs. "your dress is sexy" which hints at an ulterior motive.
The general rule is: compliment something that the other person can change (e.g. clothes, haircuts, accessories etc.) and not something they can't (e.g. body). It's perfectly legit to say 'love your hat' or 'that's a really cool pin', but 'your eyes are beautiful' is likely to come across weird even if it was meant in a platonic way.
I'd say yes? Just keep in mind the time and place, i.e complementing someone in a brightly lit, public grocery store is a better situation than on the street at dusk, probably obvious but good to keep in mind.
If it's a genuine compliment without an ulterior motive then it's totally fine, especially if you are pointing out exactly what is making their appearance noticeable. e.g. "I like how that dress flows"