With all the depressing things going around, I need levity. This woman reminds me of a friend who was a softball pitcher in our neighborhood's street team. She was one mean mf'er! Gen Xers unite!...
With all the depressing things going around, I need levity. This woman reminds me of a friend who was a softball pitcher in our neighborhood's street team. She was one mean mf'er! Gen Xers unite! Do you know where your children are?
As one of these "feral Gen Xers" that was expected to, but not required/disallowed from returning home, be outside from the point that breakfast ends until "when the streetlights come on" I am...
As one of these "feral Gen Xers" that was expected to, but not required/disallowed from returning home, be outside from the point that breakfast ends until "when the streetlights come on" I am curious:
What is the problem people/parents seem to have these days with a more laissez-faire approach to parenting/childhood freedom to the point that many people refer to not watching your kids like a hawk is tantamount to child abuse?
I think it's a mix of misconceptions and actual issues. There's a perception that a lot of parents have that kidnappings are frequent and trafficking of random children is a thing - this is...
I think it's a mix of misconceptions and actual issues.
There's a perception that a lot of parents have that kidnappings are frequent and trafficking of random children is a thing - this is probably because of things like (in the US) statewide Amber alerts and child abductions or deaths making the national news when they do happen. Humans are naturally pretty bad an understanding statistics, so when we see lots of news about bad things happening, we assume that means those bad things are likely to happen.
Also, at least in America, towns and suburbs are actively hostile to the kind of roving neighborhood play that kids used to get up to. Speed limits are higher in neighborhoods than they used to be, houses tend to be spread out, and there are often no sidewalks and inadequate or no pedestrian crossings. Also, people often don't really know their neighbors. Cars are large and higher off the ground, meaning that driver visibility is bad and if there are accidents they are likelier to be fatal.
Just to add to this, my perception is that local communities are not necessarily as strong as they used to be either. It used to be that you would know most people on your street and most would...
Just to add to this, my perception is that local communities are not necessarily as strong as they used to be either. It used to be that you would know most people on your street and most would know you, block parties were a thing, the neighbor kid would babysit for you every now and then, etc etc. Now that is far from the case (at least it was when I was a kid in the 2000s, I imagine moreso now). So even when you couldn't keep an eye on your kids, chances were someone you knew would hear about if they got up to no good and report back to you. This goes the other way too, in that people may now see a group of kids who they do not know and be suspicious they are up to no good and call the cops — I've seen many stories to this effect. In general there's just much less social trust these days.
There is also the fact that (according to one day I was sitting on the porch counting for an hour as people were getting off of work, which is kind of like a real statistic) around 50% of drivers...
There is also the fact that (according to one day I was sitting on the porch counting for an hour as people were getting off of work, which is kind of like a real statistic) around 50% of drivers are looking down at their crotch instead of forward at the road.
If visibility wasn't bad enough with the current cars heights and the huge A pillars blocking vision compared to older cars, there is also just a good chance that people aren't looking.
If you only have a yard that faces the road instead of a back yard, I don't blame you for keeping your kids away from it.
I grew up with that issue and it wasn't an issue for us. Visibility like you say plays a role but not back then it didn't. The issue we had if we were playing football, soccer, baseball, etc., and...
If you only have a yard that faces the road instead of a back yard, I don't blame you for keeping your kids away from it.
I grew up with that issue and it wasn't an issue for us. Visibility like you say plays a role but not back then it didn't. The issue we had if we were playing football, soccer, baseball, etc., and if the ball went into the traffic or god forbid hit a car. Man was that an issue. Good times. Running away from a fat bald man screaming at you in some language that nobody understood!
Wasn't thinking of this angle to this post but good info. To add more info to what you have here that I recall. First more coverage on kidnapping of kids around late 80s and 90s - I still remember...
Wasn't thinking of this angle to this post but good info. To add more info to what you have here that I recall. First more coverage on kidnapping of kids around late 80s and 90s - I still remember seeing pictures of kids on milk cartons, at least today I don't see that. I am, I suppose lucky because I grew up in an urban place so we had someone always watching us. I still remember the Italian Grandmother with the evil eyes watching her area, it wasn't until we left that area that someone told me that she looked that way because she had a glass eye. And like her there were many who I recall were around so that was better than a truly suburban or rural locations. The watershed period IMO was the "Tiger Mom Era" - the idea that kids need hyper pressure to perform well academically or athletically brought this vigilance that I don't recall having to deal with when I was growing up. The other thing is technology, the intro of personal computers (man if that doesn't date me!) and smartphones made it easier for parents to track kids.
One of the things I worry about is that some busybody is going to report me to CPS and I will lose custody of my daughter. In my state, the law says age when children can be left alone is up to...
One of the things I worry about is that some busybody is going to report me to CPS and I will lose custody of my daughter. In my state, the law says age when children can be left alone is up to the parent, but that makes it a judgment call, so someone might disagree and have an argument, rather than it being a set age as matter of law.
I live in a small town in a neighborhood that has very little traffic and it's great to see all of the kids riding their bikes back and forth, electric scooters, running barefoot up and down the...
I live in a small town in a neighborhood that has very little traffic and it's great to see all of the kids riding their bikes back and forth, electric scooters, running barefoot up and down the street (even in the snow and ice... brrr), and dumping their bikes on various lawns around the neighborhood when they are playing in the back yard or whatever, having lemonade stands (our street is part of a very busy bike path, so they get a lot of sales), and other kid things. When I moved here I felt like I returned 40 years into the past.
With all the depressing things going around, I need levity. This woman reminds me of a friend who was a softball pitcher in our neighborhood's street team. She was one mean mf'er! Gen Xers unite! Do you know where your children are?
As one of these "feral Gen Xers" that was expected to, but not required/disallowed from returning home, be outside from the point that breakfast ends until "when the streetlights come on" I am curious:
What is the problem people/parents seem to have these days with a more laissez-faire approach to parenting/childhood freedom to the point that many people refer to not watching your kids like a hawk is tantamount to child abuse?
I think it's a mix of misconceptions and actual issues.
There's a perception that a lot of parents have that kidnappings are frequent and trafficking of random children is a thing - this is probably because of things like (in the US) statewide Amber alerts and child abductions or deaths making the national news when they do happen. Humans are naturally pretty bad an understanding statistics, so when we see lots of news about bad things happening, we assume that means those bad things are likely to happen.
Also, at least in America, towns and suburbs are actively hostile to the kind of roving neighborhood play that kids used to get up to. Speed limits are higher in neighborhoods than they used to be, houses tend to be spread out, and there are often no sidewalks and inadequate or no pedestrian crossings. Also, people often don't really know their neighbors. Cars are large and higher off the ground, meaning that driver visibility is bad and if there are accidents they are likelier to be fatal.
Just to add to this, my perception is that local communities are not necessarily as strong as they used to be either. It used to be that you would know most people on your street and most would know you, block parties were a thing, the neighbor kid would babysit for you every now and then, etc etc. Now that is far from the case (at least it was when I was a kid in the 2000s, I imagine moreso now). So even when you couldn't keep an eye on your kids, chances were someone you knew would hear about if they got up to no good and report back to you. This goes the other way too, in that people may now see a group of kids who they do not know and be suspicious they are up to no good and call the cops — I've seen many stories to this effect. In general there's just much less social trust these days.
There is also the fact that (according to one day I was sitting on the porch counting for an hour as people were getting off of work, which is kind of like a real statistic) around 50% of drivers are looking down at their crotch instead of forward at the road.
If visibility wasn't bad enough with the current cars heights and the huge A pillars blocking vision compared to older cars, there is also just a good chance that people aren't looking.
If you only have a yard that faces the road instead of a back yard, I don't blame you for keeping your kids away from it.
I grew up with that issue and it wasn't an issue for us. Visibility like you say plays a role but not back then it didn't. The issue we had if we were playing football, soccer, baseball, etc., and if the ball went into the traffic or god forbid hit a car. Man was that an issue. Good times. Running away from a fat bald man screaming at you in some language that nobody understood!
Wasn't thinking of this angle to this post but good info. To add more info to what you have here that I recall. First more coverage on kidnapping of kids around late 80s and 90s - I still remember seeing pictures of kids on milk cartons, at least today I don't see that. I am, I suppose lucky because I grew up in an urban place so we had someone always watching us. I still remember the Italian Grandmother with the evil eyes watching her area, it wasn't until we left that area that someone told me that she looked that way because she had a glass eye. And like her there were many who I recall were around so that was better than a truly suburban or rural locations. The watershed period IMO was the "Tiger Mom Era" - the idea that kids need hyper pressure to perform well academically or athletically brought this vigilance that I don't recall having to deal with when I was growing up. The other thing is technology, the intro of personal computers (man if that doesn't date me!) and smartphones made it easier for parents to track kids.
One of the things I worry about is that some busybody is going to report me to CPS and I will lose custody of my daughter. In my state, the law says age when children can be left alone is up to the parent, but that makes it a judgment call, so someone might disagree and have an argument, rather than it being a set age as matter of law.
I live in a small town in a neighborhood that has very little traffic and it's great to see all of the kids riding their bikes back and forth, electric scooters, running barefoot up and down the street (even in the snow and ice... brrr), and dumping their bikes on various lawns around the neighborhood when they are playing in the back yard or whatever, having lemonade stands (our street is part of a very busy bike path, so they get a lot of sales), and other kid things. When I moved here I felt like I returned 40 years into the past.