I can relate to this a bit as someone who doesn't drink. Many professional events are centered around drinking and while most people don't care if you're having a drink too there are a few people...
I can relate to this a bit as someone who doesn't drink. Many professional events are centered around drinking and while most people don't care if you're having a drink too there are a few people who absolutely cannot let it go. They insist on knowing why you don't drink, they try to make you drink (even more awkward when it's your boss telling you to have shots with him), and they can make some pretty bizarre assumptions. Not drinking (apparently) means you're unmanly, untrustworthy, super religious, judgmental, and who knows what else. I don't begrudge others drinking but as someone on the outside the whole culture around drinking can be frustrating.
Those kinds of people just need a friendly kick. In the shins. 😸 There are so many reasons why you wouldn't want to drink. Your family might have a history of alcoholism. Or maybe you just don't...
Those kinds of people just need a friendly kick. In the shins. 😸
There are so many reasons why you wouldn't want to drink. Your family might have a history of alcoholism. Or maybe you just don't like the taste of alcohol. They need to understand that you are an adult capable of making your own decisions. Then they need to understand how shitty they are being when they are literally pushing drugs on people.
I never understood why not drinking bothers anyone. I'm a woman, so not drinking = pregnant. My cousin was never much of a drinker (he just thought it was too pricy for something he didn't really...
I never understood why not drinking bothers anyone. I'm a woman, so not drinking = pregnant. My cousin was never much of a drinker (he just thought it was too pricy for something he didn't really care about) and basically would spend all night having to tell people he's the designated driver. Why does anyone care?
What do you do in these kinda situations? I don't come often this situation often, but when I do and someone is nagging me, I just its because of religion (which isnt true) and they just shut up...
What do you do in these kinda situations? I don't come often this situation often, but when I do and someone is nagging me, I just its because of religion (which isnt true) and they just shut up about it.
In my experience as someone who simply doesn't drink at all, the small number of people who can't stop themselves from pestering me to drink with them fall into two categories: Complete assholes...
In my experience as someone who simply doesn't drink at all, the small number of people who can't stop themselves from pestering me to drink with them fall into two categories:
Complete assholes that I have no interest in associating with (this group is very small)
People who just don't really realize how annoying/inappropriate they're being.
The first group isn't worth wasting any breath on. For the second group, I usually just try to point out how childish they sound (you know, in a bantering way!). I've grown fond of "I can't even remember the last time someone tried to peer pressure me into drinking. What are we, in high school?" People who are generally worth being around tend to not feel good about explicitly taking part in peer pressure; usually that results in a "sorry" and the subject being dropped, without anyone actually getting upset.
I spent a large part of my life as a non-drinker, and I'm a big fan of the benign lie with pushy people, as you said. It can get exhausting trying to take a stand with each person, and when you do...
I spent a large part of my life as a non-drinker, and I'm a big fan of the benign lie with pushy people, as you said. It can get exhausting trying to take a stand with each person, and when you do address them directly it often sours their and your mood, which makes your remaining time at the social function all the worse. And, it's almost a given that if you're one of the few non-drinkers in a social drinking situation, it's often not that fun for you in the first place.
The easiest lie is "I'm driving." Works for most situations unless people specifically know you didn't drive there, or your exit time is known to be a long way off. In those cases, I'd go with something to the effect of a polite but direct "it interferes with a medication I take." That one will stop anyone from nudging further, and I can't think of a single instance where somebody ever followed up with questions about the alleged medication or related health issue I surfaced. You don't have to shoot down somebody trying to include you in a good time, and they don't have to feel bad about being shot down for trying to have their version of a good time with you. Everybody wins!
Curiously enough, the second one was actually something I stumbled into when I really did take a medication that shouldn't be mixed with alcohol. I wasn't on it for very long, but the excuse worked so well that I continued to use it for years.
In order: You ignore them. If they're still nagging you: You amicably tell those people off. "It's my decision either way." If they're still nagging you: You not-so-amicably tell those people off....
In order:
You ignore them.
If they're still nagging you: You amicably tell those people off. "It's my decision either way."
If they're still nagging you: You not-so-amicably tell those people off. "I don't have a problem with you drinking, you shouldn't have a problem with me not drinking, so leave me alone."
If they're still nagging you: You kick them out of the party.
If you can't kick them out of the party, or they're still nagging you, you can still kick them out of your life.
I've never had an issue in years of generally not drinking alcohol (and I don't have a problem drinking when I do want to). I want to say… don't hang out with toxic people.
I can definitely relate. I loved having a beer for lunch with co-workers, but honestly can't have more than half a bottle without turning red, which just felt unprofessional. So I was always the...
I can definitely relate. I loved having a beer for lunch with co-workers, but honestly can't have more than half a bottle without turning red, which just felt unprofessional. So I was always the wasteful one that only half finished my drink.
There's plenty of stories out there that talk about the 'rotund man with the jolly red face' - Santa aside when you take any white person without a tan and they drink their face turns red. Or if...
There's plenty of stories out there that talk about the 'rotund man with the jolly red face' - Santa aside when you take any white person without a tan and they drink their face turns red. Or if it's cold. Or if it's hot. Or if they have a mild illness. Or they're tired. Or they went to the gym before work.
I feel this is one of those issues where it's an issue of self-flagellation rather than anything outside the person themselves. Though I come from Australia in places with a very unhealthy workplace drinking culture where if you don't partake you've either been accepted into the muslim/pregnant collective (which didn't exist 10 years ago) or you're basically already fired.
Sometimes i wish i had something that would have prevented me from forming the habit. It's really hard to kick it. Anyway, there was a period that i stopped drinking and there were always people...
Sometimes i wish i had something that would have prevented me from forming the habit. It's really hard to kick it.
Anyway, there was a period that i stopped drinking and there were always people who gave me a hard time about it. I remember one in particular who looked me like i was some kind of freak. I still remember the look he gave me.
I can relate to this a bit as someone who doesn't drink. Many professional events are centered around drinking and while most people don't care if you're having a drink too there are a few people who absolutely cannot let it go. They insist on knowing why you don't drink, they try to make you drink (even more awkward when it's your boss telling you to have shots with him), and they can make some pretty bizarre assumptions. Not drinking (apparently) means you're unmanly, untrustworthy, super religious, judgmental, and who knows what else. I don't begrudge others drinking but as someone on the outside the whole culture around drinking can be frustrating.
Those kinds of people just need a friendly kick. In the shins. 😸
There are so many reasons why you wouldn't want to drink. Your family might have a history of alcoholism. Or maybe you just don't like the taste of alcohol. They need to understand that you are an adult capable of making your own decisions. Then they need to understand how shitty they are being when they are literally pushing drugs on people.
I never understood why not drinking bothers anyone. I'm a woman, so not drinking = pregnant. My cousin was never much of a drinker (he just thought it was too pricy for something he didn't really care about) and basically would spend all night having to tell people he's the designated driver. Why does anyone care?
I suspect it bothers some people because they're not willing to face the impact drinking has on their own lives.
What do you do in these kinda situations? I don't come often this situation often, but when I do and someone is nagging me, I just its because of religion (which isnt true) and they just shut up about it.
In my experience as someone who simply doesn't drink at all, the small number of people who can't stop themselves from pestering me to drink with them fall into two categories:
The first group isn't worth wasting any breath on. For the second group, I usually just try to point out how childish they sound (you know, in a bantering way!). I've grown fond of "I can't even remember the last time someone tried to peer pressure me into drinking. What are we, in high school?" People who are generally worth being around tend to not feel good about explicitly taking part in peer pressure; usually that results in a "sorry" and the subject being dropped, without anyone actually getting upset.
I spent a large part of my life as a non-drinker, and I'm a big fan of the benign lie with pushy people, as you said. It can get exhausting trying to take a stand with each person, and when you do address them directly it often sours their and your mood, which makes your remaining time at the social function all the worse. And, it's almost a given that if you're one of the few non-drinkers in a social drinking situation, it's often not that fun for you in the first place.
The easiest lie is "I'm driving." Works for most situations unless people specifically know you didn't drive there, or your exit time is known to be a long way off. In those cases, I'd go with something to the effect of a polite but direct "it interferes with a medication I take." That one will stop anyone from nudging further, and I can't think of a single instance where somebody ever followed up with questions about the alleged medication or related health issue I surfaced. You don't have to shoot down somebody trying to include you in a good time, and they don't have to feel bad about being shot down for trying to have their version of a good time with you. Everybody wins!
Curiously enough, the second one was actually something I stumbled into when I really did take a medication that shouldn't be mixed with alcohol. I wasn't on it for very long, but the excuse worked so well that I continued to use it for years.
In order:
I've never had an issue in years of generally not drinking alcohol (and I don't have a problem drinking when I do want to). I want to say… don't hang out with toxic people.
I can definitely relate. I loved having a beer for lunch with co-workers, but honestly can't have more than half a bottle without turning red, which just felt unprofessional. So I was always the wasteful one that only half finished my drink.
There's plenty of stories out there that talk about the 'rotund man with the jolly red face' - Santa aside when you take any white person without a tan and they drink their face turns red. Or if it's cold. Or if it's hot. Or if they have a mild illness. Or they're tired. Or they went to the gym before work.
I feel this is one of those issues where it's an issue of self-flagellation rather than anything outside the person themselves. Though I come from Australia in places with a very unhealthy workplace drinking culture where if you don't partake you've either been accepted into the muslim/pregnant collective (which didn't exist 10 years ago) or you're basically already fired.
Sometimes i wish i had something that would have prevented me from forming the habit. It's really hard to kick it.
Anyway, there was a period that i stopped drinking and there were always people who gave me a hard time about it. I remember one in particular who looked me like i was some kind of freak. I still remember the look he gave me.