16 votes

Bridging the gap: Thoughts on racism from a White mother of Black children

7 comments

  1. [2]
    Grendel
    Link
    Full disclosure: I wrote this article. It's the first time I've tried something like this, so I know it lacks polish.

    Full disclosure: I wrote this article. It's the first time I've tried something like this, so I know it lacks polish.

    9 votes
    1. joplin
      Link Parent
      I thought it was very powerful! Thank you for sharing.

      I thought it was very powerful! Thank you for sharing.

      5 votes
  2. [2]
    aphoenix
    Link
    This is beautiful. I'm a white dad with three non-white kids, one of whom is black (some detail re: my family). Some of these things really resonated with me. When I first met the woman who is now...

    This is beautiful. I'm a white dad with three non-white kids, one of whom is black (some detail re: my family). Some of these things really resonated with me.

    I am still surprised by the amount of racism and the ignorance of people. I don’t mean stupidity, but I just mean ignorance.

    When I first met the woman who is now my wife, one of my aunts asked me why I would choose to be in a relationship with someone who was a different race from me. She wasn't trying to be racist; she was just honestly puzzled. "It'll make life harder. Why would you choose a harder life?" When my oldest daughter was born, there was a big deal with my aunt and her husband about a "coloured" child in the family. This level of ignorance from my own family members was hard to swallow, but there's so much more, all the time.

    While her and her daughters have lived with and dealt with racism, there are those all around them that deny that it really exists

    Uuuuuugh, yes. I have a friend who has told me to my face several times that racism isn't real. He is so white that he's almost translucent, and he has white tinted glasses on all the time. He is so willfully ignorant on the subject that it's hard to talk about a lot of things with him. This kind of willful ignorance is distinct, and I would call that stupidity; ignorance is just not knowing, but wanting to not know is stupid.

    Anyways, this article kind of punched me in the chest. I fully understand how Lisa felt, and I thought your writing was great.

    8 votes
    1. culturedleftfoot
      Link Parent
      To be fair, a white american who is not willfully ignorant is very much the exception, not the rule. That willful ignorance is a collective cultural psychosis white folks mutated centuries ago as...

      To be fair, a white american who is not willfully ignorant is very much the exception, not the rule. That willful ignorance is a collective cultural psychosis white folks mutated centuries ago as a defense mechanism, in order to survive with their conscience intact. I'm sure we all know of similar examples when it comes to, say, consumerism.

      1 vote
  3. [2]
    skybrian
    Link
    There is a good story here, but I found the introduction a bit confusing. In the first three paragraphs it sounded like you were going to write about your own experience and how your opinions...

    There is a good story here, but I found the introduction a bit confusing. In the first three paragraphs it sounded like you were going to write about your own experience and how your opinions changed based on them. Then it turns into an interview with someone you met. If you want this story to be about Lisa then it seems like maybe you should background yourself a little more?

    In particular, saying “the thing that has changed me was having black family members. People I love and care for that are of a different race than myself” seems like a setup for telling your own story, making us curious about how that happened, so saying that much and no more is a bit odd.

    Or maybe I missed a connection between you? It’s unclear how you ended up interviewing Lisa and maybe that would make a good introduction.

    6 votes
    1. Grendel
      Link Parent
      Thank you so much for that feedback, I see how that can be confusing. I probably should have added a transition in there about the interview or just left that parr about myself out since it...

      Thank you so much for that feedback, I see how that can be confusing. I probably should have added a transition in there about the interview or just left that parr about myself out since it doesn't fit with the rest of the article.

      I think I put it in there because I want people to know it's possible to come back from being racist. To realize that you can change your view based on new information.

      5 votes
  4. mrbig
    Link
    This reminds me of a case here in Brazil of a couple that had a baby using a sperm bank. They were black. The laboratory messed up and gave them a super white son. They were constantly approached...

    This reminds me of a case here in Brazil of a couple that had a baby using a sperm bank. They were black. The laboratory messed up and gave them a super white son. They were constantly approached by the police because people kept reporting kidnapping. A really sad story. This was years ago. I wonder how they’re now.

    3 votes