19 votes

What's something you're into that you wish you could share with someone?

We're lucky when we share mutual interests with friends, but often there's that category of things for which there isn't much overlap. Though it speaks to us, we're seemingly alone in appreciating it, yet long for someone to connect with it over.

What's that thing for you?

26 comments

  1. [6]
    cardigan
    (edited )
    Link
    I wish that I knew people who were as sentimental as me, or who were overly emotional in the same way. I am reporting on this as dispassionately as possible, and still I have to say that I'm...

    I wish that I knew people who were as sentimental as me, or who were overly emotional in the same way. I am reporting on this as dispassionately as possible, and still I have to say that I'm constantly on the verge of complete hysteria. While I wouldn't wish this life on anyone, I feel like I'm close to the heart of things in a way that's difficult to describe. It seems that I can approach things without any guile whatsoever and take them in sincerely, allowing myself to be deeply impacted in a way that everyone with my life experience should be too jaded to be. I remember once drawing a picture of myself as John Keats. I don't remember the reason, but maybe he mentioned somewhere in his poetry or letters that he's nearly bowled over by every emotion he feels. In the picture, little emotional darts were flying through the air to hit me, and they forced me down into a prostrate position on a couch. In a similar way, there's a moment in Tarkovsky's Sacrifice where a character steps away from a larger group and into a room. He turns, thinking he hears some small sound, and then startlingly collapses to the floor. They rush to help him, and ask if they should call a doctor. But he says no, that he's fine, and it was nothing but "an evil angel flying through the room, who saw fit to touch me." That's the way I'm forced to live my whole life: in a dissociative state, like I'm straining to hear a sound, and then falling to the floor with the slightest touch. Over years I've adapted, but it still feels the same inside.

    By way of illustration, it was only a few years ago and well into my twenties that I saw the 1941 Dumbo for the first time. From nearly the first moment -- when his family and even his own mother laugh at him -- I spent the film in tears. I had to call a friend of mine when it was over to calm down. On the call, I said in total earnest that I thought I had seen what The Passion of the Christ was supposed to be. Every step of the way, my heart was breaking for him. I'm telling the truth: it was simply agonizing to watch as he was not only ridiculed by everyone, but made into a literal clown for their enjoyment. There's a particularly painful moment where this poor creature looks to the sky and cries because he feels he will never leave the circus and go to the stars. I knew at that moment that I had never related more to a fictional character. When I told this to another friend of mine a few months ago, he just laughed at me. Maybe I'm the snowflake Internet Nazis complain about accelerated to some nth degree. Maybe I have a pure heart. But it's such a lonely feeling. Sometimes I have to hate it.

    12 votes
    1. [2]
      monarda
      Link Parent
      It's late for me, and I am about to go to bed, so this will be short, but I wanted you to know that what you wrote brought me to tears. It resonated with me. I saw Dumbo in the theater when I was...

      It's late for me, and I am about to go to bed, so this will be short, but I wanted you to know that what you wrote brought me to tears. It resonated with me.

      I saw Dumbo in the theater when I was a kid, and I remember the scene you're talking about. I cried so hard because everyone was so mean, and I couldn't understand why they would do that to a baby (or to anyone actually). I spent the rest of the movie unsettled.

      I too am hyper-emotional. I feel so freaking deeply that it often times feels like I will shatter from the tautness of it all. I've also adapted, and it can be incredibly lonely.

      6 votes
      1. cardigan
        Link Parent
        Thank you for your comment and sharing your experience. It meant a lot to me to hear.

        Thank you for your comment and sharing your experience. It meant a lot to me to hear.

        3 votes
    2. [2]
      soctar
      Link Parent
      So, I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but I identify as autistic, in part because I end up empathizing so much more than most others that I interact with. The stereotype is that aspies tend...

      So, I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but I identify as autistic, in part because I end up empathizing so much more than most others that I interact with. The stereotype is that aspies tend to be lacking empathy, but as research on neurodivergent people has progressed (and the neurodivergent label's gained traction) the opposite might be true as well. Similarly with other stereotypes of autism, some folks are non-verbal, some are hyper-verbal, both land outside "neurotypical" experiences.

      I didn't have healthy ways of relating to this aspect of myself for a while, so I ended up just shutting all my emotions down, becoming extremely numb, depressed, disassociative, etc. and ended up with some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms. Since I've found some better ways to manage the swings (through ~10 years of on-and-off therapy and some medication to raise the floor a bit), I've been much more open to allowing myself to feel everything that I'm going to feel. Which, for me at least, is just so fucking beautiful I wouldn't think to change it.

      5 votes
      1. cardigan
        Link Parent
        I guess the jury will always be out on whether or not I'm neurotypical. I was an unusual, damaged child and spent the early part of my life being carted around to different psychiatrists and...

        I guess the jury will always be out on whether or not I'm neurotypical. I was an unusual, damaged child and spent the early part of my life being carted around to different psychiatrists and diagnosticians. I was never diagnosed with anything developmental, but what you wrote resonated with me. It's comforting to hear that there's someone else out there, but more importantly, comforting to hear how you've embraced your ability to feel. Thank you.

        5 votes
    3. DonQuixote
      Link Parent
      I teared up watching The Truman Show. Probably because of identification with Truman.

      I teared up watching The Truman Show. Probably because of identification with Truman.

  2. [5]
    Pistos
    Link
    I guess maybe this is kind of shallow, but, for me, I wish I knew more people that shared the same tastes I have in video games, and who were also passionate about playing them beyond casual...

    I guess maybe this is kind of shallow, but, for me, I wish I knew more people that shared the same tastes I have in video games, and who were also passionate about playing them beyond casual level. Playing with randos isn't the same, and it's rare to find online players who you "friend" and play with often. The people I know in meatspace are only casual players, or are interested in different games than me. Some games that are a lot better with like-minded friends:

    • FPSes: Battlefield series, Rainbow Six Siege, CS:GO, Tannenberg/Verdun
    • Fighting games: Street Fighter V, Fantasy Strike
    • Card games: Eternal Card Game, Hearthstone
    6 votes
    1. chrysanth
      Link Parent
      I don't think it's shallow at all! There's a lot of depth to video games and you can find a lot of meaning digging into that depth, both intellectually/technically in terms of exploring/practicing...

      I don't think it's shallow at all! There's a lot of depth to video games and you can find a lot of meaning digging into that depth, both intellectually/technically in terms of exploring/practicing mechanics and socially in terms of developing relationships. It can be frustrating when you try to engage in that higher level of discussion and you're met with blank stares. I used to be into competitive Melee/Project M and I remember the moment when I explained what directional influence (DI) was to someone I was doing casual one-on-ones with. He was both confused and shocked that anyone knew anything like that about what was, to him, a party game. The funny thing is that I wasn't even really that into competitive Smash besides watching big tournaments, I had friends who were far more competent when it came to their technical skills and probably could have won some local tournaments if they'd been organized. Anyway, I totally get what you're saying and feel the same way. I play a lot of roguelikes now but don't have many people to share knowledge with and learn from like I did with Smash and other games in the past.

      4 votes
    2. [3]
      Kirisame
      Link Parent
      I'd be down to jam some fighting games with you sometime! I've got a Chun Li stashed away in my head, but I'm unfamiliar with her changes in the latest patch. Should be a fun time.

      I'd be down to jam some fighting games with you sometime! I've got a Chun Li stashed away in my head, but I'm unfamiliar with her changes in the latest patch. Should be a fun time.

      2 votes
      1. [2]
        Pistos
        Link Parent
        Thanks for the offer! Sadly, I've turned to PC gaming now, and have let my PS Plus subscription expire, so I wouldn't be able to play PS4 online. I don't have SFV for PC. But if you're up for...

        Thanks for the offer! Sadly, I've turned to PC gaming now, and have let my PS Plus subscription expire, so I wouldn't be able to play PS4 online. I don't have SFV for PC. But if you're up for Fantasy Strike, let me know. It's free to play.

        1 vote
        1. Kirisame
          Link Parent
          That sounds pretty good. I've played very little FS, but it's famously easy to get into, so I'd be happy to hop on and play sometime. I'll PM you steam/discord info so we can coordinate sometime.

          That sounds pretty good. I've played very little FS, but it's famously easy to get into, so I'd be happy to hop on and play sometime. I'll PM you steam/discord info so we can coordinate sometime.

          2 votes
  3. [4]
    autumn
    Link
    Play-by-post forum RPGs. I’ve been writing with the same group since I was a teenager, but I’ve never been able to convince somebody I’ve met in real life to join up. Competitive dog sports,...
    • Play-by-post forum RPGs. I’ve been writing with the same group since I was a teenager, but I’ve never been able to convince somebody I’ve met in real life to join up.
    • Competitive dog sports, especially agility. My sister and I did this together back when we were tweens/teens. It’s so much fun to have somebody close who’s at about the same level. You learn a lot from watching each other.
    6 votes
    1. Omnicrola
      Link Parent
      I don't own dogs, but years ago I happened to do some software development for one of the organisations that runs dog agility competitions. I had no idea that such a thing existed, so that was an...

      I don't own dogs, but years ago I happened to do some software development for one of the organisations that runs dog agility competitions. I had no idea that such a thing existed, so that was an interesting look into a hobby that I knew nothing about. It was hugely popular too, based on the volume of data I was given access to. Lots of inter-generational participants as well.

      5 votes
    2. [2]
      HrBingR227
      Link Parent
      Hey so I know this isn’t Reddit, but if it helps you can look for groups on /r/RoleplayingForReddit. We cater strictly to group PBP RP. That having been said, most people use Discord but a few...

      Hey so I know this isn’t Reddit, but if it helps you can look for groups on /r/RoleplayingForReddit. We cater strictly to group PBP RP. That having been said, most people use Discord but a few still use forums.

      4 votes
      1. autumn
        Link Parent
        I have a really solid online group! I was more wishing my local friends were into it.

        I have a really solid online group! I was more wishing my local friends were into it.

        3 votes
  4. mrbig
    (edited )
    Link
    military history and engineering. Including WW2. Nowadays, I cannot express my fondness for it in Brazil without giving right wing nut vibes. Pleasing the wrong crowd informal logical. I...
    • military history and engineering. Including WW2. Nowadays, I cannot express my fondness for it in Brazil without giving right wing nut vibes. Pleasing the wrong crowd
    • informal logical. I invariably sound like a douche
    • semantics. The phrase "that's just semantics" is a bothersome put down because semantics is actually really important
    • I care for children and have an interest in their development, without any desire whatsoever of ever becoming a parent...
    6 votes
  5. jcdl
    Link
    Pottery. My one pottery friend lives hours away and none of my family members or friends are into it as much as me.

    Pottery. My one pottery friend lives hours away and none of my family members or friends are into it as much as me.

    6 votes
  6. [9]
    PhantomBand
    Link
    I'd really love to find irl friends into anime and/or Japanese games like JRPGs and visual novels. Not too hard to find people like that online, but oh boy, irl..

    I'd really love to find irl friends into anime and/or Japanese games like JRPGs and visual novels. Not too hard to find people like that online, but oh boy, irl..

    5 votes
    1. [8]
      cfabbro
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      If you have a university or college near you, you should see if they have an anime club. That's how I initially met a bunch of fellow anime nerds in my youth (decades ago), back when anime was...

      If you have a university or college near you, you should see if they have an anime club. That's how I initially met a bunch of fellow anime nerds in my youth (decades ago), back when anime was still relatively unknown here in the West, and subtitled versions were incredibly hard to come by. And I imagine the likelihood of there being an anime club at an educational institution near you is probably even higher now that isn't the case.

      5 votes
      1. [7]
        PhantomBand
        Link Parent
        Unfortunately they don't have that type of thing in the Netherlands, here you pretty much have to randomly bump into someone.

        Unfortunately they don't have that type of thing in the Netherlands, here you pretty much have to randomly bump into someone.

        3 votes
        1. [6]
          cfabbro
          Link Parent
          Huh, that sucks. Is there any particular reason for that? Hobby and interest clubs are a huge part of campus life here in Canada and the US. Are there any comic or anime conventions in the...

          Huh, that sucks. Is there any particular reason for that? Hobby and interest clubs are a huge part of campus life here in Canada and the US.

          Are there any comic or anime conventions in the Netherlands or is that a distinctly North American thing too?

          4 votes
          1. [5]
            PhantomBand
            Link Parent
            Not sure, they just aren't a thing here. I only know about them from reading about them online and in anime, lol. I think we might have them, but they're probably quite obscure.

            Not sure, they just aren't a thing here. I only know about them from reading about them online and in anime, lol.

            I think we might have them, but they're probably quite obscure.

            3 votes
            1. [4]
              cfabbro
              Link Parent
              Looking into it, it seems there are a few such events scheduled for 2021 in the Netherlands, but whether they are still going to take place due to COVID, are any good, or are close to you, I don't...

              Looking into it, it seems there are a few such events scheduled for 2021 in the Netherlands, but whether they are still going to take place due to COVID, are any good, or are close to you, I don't know. See: https://geekevents.nl/event-type-4/the-netherlands/

              Might be worth looking into though!

              2 votes
              1. [3]
                PhantomBand
                Link Parent
                My pretty bad social anxiety is probably a dealbreaker, but thanks for looking into it anyways.

                My pretty bad social anxiety is probably a dealbreaker, but thanks for looking into it anyways.

                2 votes
                1. [2]
                  cfabbro
                  Link Parent
                  I have panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder, so know exactly what you mean. Being around fellow nerds tends to help reduce those symptoms for me though, since I feel like we/they are...

                  I have panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder, so know exactly what you mean. Being around fellow nerds tends to help reduce those symptoms for me though, since I feel like we/they are usually a bit more understanding than the general public about such things. Plus, at cons, you can always hide behind a costume too, which can also help with that. ;)

                  In any case, I wish you luck in finding some fellow anime nerds to hang out with! :)

                  2 votes
                  1. PhantomBand
                    Link Parent
                    Well maybe I'll consider it in the future, then. Thank you! Have a nice day!

                    Well maybe I'll consider it in the future, then.

                    Thank you! Have a nice day!

                    2 votes