cardigan's recent activity
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Comment on Akira Toriyama has passed away in ~anime
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Comment on A US drugmaker’s feud with the DEA is exacerbating the ADHD meds crisis in ~health.mental
cardigan LinkI am narcoleptic (N2). The shortage has nearly destroyed my life. It was nice to see narcolepsy mentioned in this, but it is still such a distressing read.I am narcoleptic (N2). The shortage has nearly destroyed my life.
It was nice to see narcolepsy mentioned in this, but it is still such a distressing read.
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Comment on I once worked for a battered women's organization - I today discovered Suzanne Vega's song Luka in ~music
cardigan LinkMe and many others lived this song. It gets it all exactly right. For a different version, it's long been a staple of Evan Dando and The Lemonheads' live shows, starting back in the late eighties....Me and many others lived this song. It gets it all exactly right.
For a different version, it's long been a staple of Evan Dando and The Lemonheads' live shows, starting back in the late eighties. They even did a music video for it. It's a pretty different version, especially when done with that "War Pigs" intro, but I've always thought it was powerful and respectful.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
cardigan Link ParentI know this gets said a lot, but it gets better after a few hours. The game has changed so much over the years that the first part of the tutorial doesn't quite fit in anymore. Once the Artemis...I know this gets said a lot, but it gets better after a few hours. The game has changed so much over the years that the first part of the tutorial doesn't quite fit in anymore. Once the Artemis Path (probably in your Log as "Awakenings") gets going, though, it should get to be more fun.
Following the Artemis Path will put you off to a great start in terms of your starship, multi-tool, and portal glyphs. Don't hesitate to take a break from it to do whatever you want, though.
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Comment on Writers: Do your characters leave you alone? If not, what do you do? in ~creative
cardigan LinkMy characters are exactly the same as yours. I feel the same way about them, am probably overly focused on them. I loved the way my characters interacted so much that my first novel is about twice...My characters are exactly the same as yours. I feel the same way about them, am probably overly focused on them. I loved the way my characters interacted so much that my first novel is about twice the length that it should be. That's not from thrilling subplots or anything being all that complicated, only how important their basic interactions with each other were to me.
I haven't found a solution for it, really. I encourage you to think about it as more of a good thing, just as a good thing that comes with its own set of problems. I know that I wouldn't have it any other way. I want these people to feel real to me, just as much as to others.
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Comment on Starfield - what are your thoughts? in ~games
cardigan LinkNMS is one of my all-time favorite games, and has been that way before, after, and during all of its many patches. It's always clicked with me on a deep level. Heck, I even actively followed...NMS is one of my all-time favorite games, and has been that way before, after, and during all of its many patches. It's always clicked with me on a deep level. Heck, I even actively followed Waking Titan. So, naturally, I've been thinking of biting the bullet on this one, but it seems too combat-heavy for me. My favorite part of NMS is scanning the local flora and fauna and just... walking around. I'm wondering how much of that I really could find in Starfield. Some combat doesn't bother me, but if it's front and center all the time, I don't think I'll be able to justify how expensive it is.
Can someone speak to how much that kind of exploration figures into it?
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~health.mental
cardigan LinkI'm narcoleptic (clinically diagnosed type-2). I've been unable to get the stimulants I need to function for several months now. Sleep attacks are very frequent. At the same time, there's a lot...I'm narcoleptic (clinically diagnosed type-2). I've been unable to get the stimulants I need to function for several months now. Sleep attacks are very frequent. At the same time, there's a lot going on in my personal life that I don't have the energy to address. It makes my already low mood much worse. I'm struggling to survive.
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Comment on Is there any book that you keep trying but can not get through? in ~books
cardigan Link ParentI'm on my fifth attempt at Pierre, his hated follow-up to it. It is really sentimental and out there, with great moments, but it's a real slog. This review from when it came out isn't totally wrong:I'm on my fifth attempt at Pierre, his hated follow-up to it. It is really sentimental and out there, with great moments, but it's a real slog.
This review from when it came out isn't totally wrong:
One long brain-muddling, soul-bewildering ambiguity (to borrow Mr. Melville's style), like Melchisedeck, without beginning or end—a labyrinth without a clue—an Irish bog without so much as a Jack-o'-th'-lantern to guide the wanderer's footsteps—the dream of a distempered stomach, disordered by a hasty supper on half-cooked pork chops.
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Comment on Terrible, terrible movies? in ~movies
cardigan Link ParentThe Woods, right? I've heard about that story. I can't imagine what it must have been like. Sounds like a blast -- thanks for sharing.The Woods, right? I've heard about that story. I can't imagine what it must have been like. Sounds like a blast -- thanks for sharing.
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~health
cardigan Link ParentI have N2. The diagnosis process was completely excruciating. I've never had such an extreme feeling of being mistreated by the "medical system." All the hoops I had to jump through -- it borders...I have N2. The diagnosis process was completely excruciating. I've never had such an extreme feeling of being mistreated by the "medical system." All the hoops I had to jump through -- it borders on abuse.
The stimulant shortage in the USA is having a huge impact on my life. I haven't been able to reliably get the medication I need to function at anything beyond the most basic level for about four months. It's hard not to hold resentment about it, since I have several sleep attacks per day.
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Comment on Coheed and Cambria - The Pavilion (A Long Way Back) (2019) in ~music
cardigan LinkI've had the first two albums on rotation more or less since they came out. I was never able to get into anything beyond In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3, despite several attempts each time a...I've had the first two albums on rotation more or less since they came out. I was never able to get into anything beyond In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3, despite several attempts each time a new one has come out. I do pay attention to the lyrics, but not the lore, so it's not the whole mythos thing. I've tried but just can't put my finger on it.
Claudio's lyrics, at least in my two favorite albums, are just great. Elliptical and expressive with a certain air of just not caring about making sense. Over and out, Connecticut.
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Comment on Terrible, terrible movies? in ~movies
cardigan LinkI thought the 2016 Blair Witch was a great movie despite its flaws. I haven't met a single person who agrees with me. Lionsgate doesn't, as they're about to retcon and reboot it again. It's almost...- Exemplary
I thought the 2016 Blair Witch was a great movie despite its flaws. I haven't met a single person who agrees with me. Lionsgate doesn't, as they're about to retcon and reboot it again. It's almost universally hated.
You can get a good idea of the film's reception by watching the director's commentary: one of the first things out of the director Adam Wingard's mouth is a joke that he's just taken hemlock to kill himself because of bad reviews, and that he will die before the film is over. Both commentators also regularly make jokes about how only people wanting to stalk or harass them are going to bother to watch the commentary, along with even more and different jokes about offing themselves. They both come off as truly, truly depressed and more than a little spiteful. I get it.
The film gets a bad rap for a few reasons, one of them being the mistaken(?) opinion that the film shows the Blair Witch. I'm inclined to give Wingard the benefit of the doubt and say that it doesn't. He attempts to explain this in the commentary: that there was a deleted scene where the connection between the Blair Witch and the monster that does appear in the film is detailed, but which had to be scrapped; that the person who made the credits didn't work on the film and didn't know about this, so mistakenly credited the puppeteer as "Blair Witch arm" or something like that. That's one of the things people online really took them to task about.
I'll admit that it's overly derivative of the original in places, devolving to a shot for shot remake every now and then. While some of the throwbacks work, others are tasteless; I'm thinking here of the first "person in a corner" scene. But what's most frustrating is how unappreciated their efforts to explain certain plot elements of the first film while leaving others mysterious have been:
Spoilers for 1999/2016 Blair Witch films
While never confirmed, a close watch of The Blair Witch Project strongly implies that the characters are stuck in a time loop. In a line that's easy to miss, someone in Burkittsville says that the Rustin Parr cabin was demolished decades previously; at the end of the film, they find the cabin intact. Blair Witch 2016 confirms this through how its group of characters gets separated: group A has spent only "hours" wandering, while group B has been lost for a few days, and later years.
This confirms the time loop, but Wingard and co. take some pains not to explain it too much. As in the 1999 film, the second half takes place in a kind of endless night. The sun never rises even though their clocks read noon. But interestingly, near the end of Blair Witch 2016, there's an inexplicable flash of white light and roaring noise, hinting that the days are still there but hyper-compressed. It also looks and sounds for all the world like a UFO landing. One of Wingard's spiteful moments comes here: he refuses to explain what's going on, saying that it would have been covered in the sequel, and that he doesn't want to explain it to people who "hate him."
There are at least two other subtle touches that I think bear mentioning. For the most part, the characters' thinking something is "out there" is pure paranoia, but there are two instances where extremely close eyes or a freeze frame can show that something is out there: one shakes the branches of the tree that Angela climbs, and another appears incredibly briefly in the woods when Peter gets separated from the rest of the group. Neither is definitively the "Blair Witch" puppet, although there are similarities. In the commentary, Wingard refuses to explain both moments -- but the fact remains that they're beautifully enigmatic touches.
Beyond that, I think the sound design and especially the score are just superb. The ending scene at the Rustin Parr cabin is one of the most horrifying scenes I've seen in any movie, the kind you love just as much as you dread. All in all, the film just doesn't deserve all the hate.
(I realize I'm being a total apologist here. I've never seen any of Wingard's other work, but I'm a lifelong fan of anything BW. You can take these comments with a grain of salt.)
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Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music
cardigan Link ParentI had the chance to see her perform The Sacrificial Code at a church and on its pipe organ a while back. The whole place was bathed in red light and time completely stopped. I've never had an...I had the chance to see her perform The Sacrificial Code at a church and on its pipe organ a while back. The whole place was bathed in red light and time completely stopped. I've never had an experience of time stopping quite like that. Met her briefly afterward; she's the real deal. An amazing night. As far as I know, she doesn't really tour, but do go see her if you can.
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Comment on Any vegans on Tildes? in ~food
cardigan Link ParentI want to echo these comments as someone else who grew up on a farm and, when I was much younger, participated in its slaughter practices. I feel much the same as you do. Vegan for thirteen years now.I know that ethical or humane slaughter is a lie.
I want to echo these comments as someone else who grew up on a farm and, when I was much younger, participated in its slaughter practices. I feel much the same as you do. Vegan for thirteen years now.
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Comment on Film and feelings: Stalker (1979) in ~movies
cardigan LinkIt's hard for me to separate my feelings out about Stalker. Suffice to say, they are intense and there are a lot of them. I related strongly with what you wrote. For me, it's the ending...It's hard for me to separate my feelings out about Stalker. Suffice to say, they are intense and there are a lot of them. I related strongly with what you wrote. For me, it's the ending telekinesis scene. There is something truly masterful about it. This strange and inexplicable event, all the stagnant pools of water, those impacted me much more than the long dialogues. The presence of animals in Tarkovsky's films is something that I dare not speculate about, like the dogs in Stalker and Solaris and the horses in Andrei Rublev, but their presence is full of emotional resonance and meaning.
I wanted to mention that if anything involving the dog in the film impacted you, I strongly recommend Nostalghia. The ending shot involves a dog, and I think that particular shot is the most powerful thing Tarkovsky ever filmed.
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Comment on Let's chat everything classical music in ~music
cardigan LinkLately I've been very fond of Satie, particularly when filtered through his more unorthodox or even "mystic" interpreters like de Leeuw. He could go even slower and I'd be perfectly fine with...Lately I've been very fond of Satie, particularly when filtered through his more unorthodox or even "mystic" interpreters like de Leeuw. He could go even slower and I'd be perfectly fine with that. Something incredibly special happens to the atmosphere when that guy's recordings are playing. It's hard to tell whether de Leeuw has a deep understanding of him or is totally ignoring his intentions. Either way, when I play him myself, it isn't the same.
I once had the great pleasure(?) of being a page-turner for a recording of some very long works by Morton Feldman, but I never got to tackle Satie's "Vexations." It seems there's at least one guy who's sat down and recorded the whole thing in one go, which must have required an incredible frame of mind. I can't imagine it.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
cardigan LinkI'm reading A Voyage to Arcturus in the Standard Ebooks edition. This seems to be a common thing to say about it, but it's unlike anything I've ever read. It starts with a seance but then quickly...I'm reading A Voyage to Arcturus in the Standard Ebooks edition. This seems to be a common thing to say about it, but it's unlike anything I've ever read.
It starts with a seance but then quickly moves to another planet. Sometimes the location shifts from chapter to chapter; the protagonist inexplicably starts growing other limbs and arms, including a telepathic tentacle and a third eye. The whole thing is suffused with a kind of gnostic philosophy or worldview that I can recognize is there, but which I can't begin to understand. It's out there, really out there. It was written in 1920.
I don't know anything about Harold Bloom beyond that he's a famous literary critic. Here's him on it:
"I have read it literally hundreds of times, indeed obsessively I have read several copies of it to shreds. [...] It affected me personally with more intensity and obsessiveness than all the works of greater stature and resonance of our time."
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (February 2023) in ~health.mental
cardigan Link ParentThat seems really hard. I hope you find some peace soon, and that more time will help.That seems really hard. I hope you find some peace soon, and that more time will help.
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Comment on What have you learned from losing someone? in ~talk
cardigan LinkI've learned the hard way that you should let people know what they mean to you. This was something difficult for me to learn, as I never express my feelings out loud. In fact, I try to do the...I've learned the hard way that you should let people know what they mean to you. This was something difficult for me to learn, as I never express my feelings out loud. In fact, I try to do the exact opposite. I hide them.
But if you don't let people know that you love them, you'll live the rest of your life with feelings about them that are impossible to express when they're gone. The two people in my life that I'm talking about died very suddenly. And perhaps because of that, it feels as though time has "frozen" for me when it comes to them. I catch myself thinking that I'll see them again "soon," or can text them, and that I'll finally say it all to them. Then, I'll remember that I can't.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (September 2022) in ~health.mental
cardigan LinkAfter a month where it was almost nonexistent, my body dysmorphia came back last night in what I can only describe as an "attack." A persistent, sustained obsession with how ugly and inhuman I...After a month where it was almost nonexistent, my body dysmorphia came back last night in what I can only describe as an "attack." A persistent, sustained obsession with how ugly and inhuman I appear to myself to be kept me awake through the night. It was torture. Seemingly triggered by nothing, spinning around and around, making up for lost time. The only thought that wasn't about my body that was able to break through to me was an unrelated snippet of a Mountain Goats song, and how JD delivers it here: "..made too much of it, but I drank it all." I clung to it like a raft. I don't know why.
This feeling will never go away so long as I'm in this body. I thought I had reconciled myself to that. I guess I was wrong. Today, I'm so tired I seem drunk and dissociative. All the same thoughts, now stagnant instead of swirling.
Yuji Horii is now the only member of the core Dragon Quest team still living. Sad news.