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Christmas thread
Thought I'd post a general conversation thread for folks who might not be spending time with family or friends on Christmas. What are you doing on your own for Christmas, or what are you missing out on?
Oh thanks for that lovely thread.
Here I'm spending christmas alone, albeit mostly by choice. I'm seeing family for NYE and didn't want to make the trip too long, so leaving early next week.
Still, I'm feeling pretty meh. Reflecting back on this year, I'm happy with it, but I feel like I just lost a significant amount of friends. I don't even really know why. I've gotten fed up dealing with some but that's just a tiny amount.
I think it's covid. Even as we all started hanging out again and stopped caring about the virus, the litany of rules has made it more and more complicated to do fun things together. Things cancelled left and right, safe tickets and other safety requirements messing with schedules, people getting polarized, …
2021 didn't suck, but I personally am feeling a severe fallout from the social implications of the pandemic. I've talked about this back in 2020 actually and I'm happy that my worst fears didn't materialize (namely, many people becoming obsessed with the virus and permanently becoming paranoid), but sad to see such a huge impact from not the people but the dumb logistics themselves.
Brussels had to cancel its christmas markets a couple weeks early. The city insisted on having them, which I'm very thankful for - they proved to be a boost to morale and the local economy. But then lots of really dumb things started getting in the way. A bracelet system was devised, which was a total waste of time and resources as nobody checked them. People weren't allowed to remove masks while standing up, so they had to get rid of "standing tables" where people were eating standing up. A 23:00 curfew was put in place. And then with Omicron there was not enough political will to keep them open longer, so they're closing tonight.
Sorry, this turned into a covid rant. But it's difficult to write an introspective post without talking about the elephant in the room.
I don't think things will get worse. Since early this year they've been getting steadily better, in fact. But it's all so … tiresome.
Oh, thank goodness, a Christmas thread! It was only last year I found out there was a "t" in Christmas. I thought it was Chrismas.
I grew up Jewish. I am an anti-religion nut. I'm not sure if I should be ashamed to say that. I've found that (some) people who follow a religion end up placing their views/ values on me and have expectations that I respect them, so why can't I do the same with my anti-religious views? I understand the peace religion brings to people, and good for them, but idk. Maybe I'm just frustrated b/c I'm at my moms place and she asked me nicely not to work on my sewing project on shabbot. I live in her place right now and don't want to rock the boat. We already know we don't see eye-to-eye on our values, so why bring it up once again? At least she asked nicely this time (which is a HUGE improvement). I guess the most annoying thing for me about religion is the "because God!" conclusion. It's hard to have healthy skepticism or a healthy conversation without stepping on toes. But maybe that's because I'm bad at conversing? I have to give the benefit of the doubt. I understand I have to respect other's views and values, but often I feel like I need to bite my own tongue with my views/values in the process, and that's hard sometimes. Then again, I heard a phrase recently that said "opinions are like a**holes, everyone has them!", so these days, I'm less likely to vomit my views. It's okay to stay silent sometimes, or just enjoy the scenery.
Another thing I should be ashamed of saying, but I'm not: family are just people to me. I do love very few of my family members. I can't say I patched things up with my brother, but when a beat happened in our relationship I think my therapist jumped the gun and said something along the lines of "I guess this means you may be able to find a relationship with your dad again too". And, let me tell you, I was flabbergasted. I didn't know how to respond because earlier in the conversation she was talking about her dad/ their lovely relationship and I just felt she was projecting at that time and honestly didn't want to deal with her emotions if I said something she didn't like, something along the lines of "f*** my dad".
Yeah, I'm resentful. I guess I should be ashamed of saying that too, but I'm not. I'm really really not.
Finally my SO said "I'm really really sorry to say this, but your mom isn't a good person" after I explained another incident (of the many) that happened recently. He prefixed/ suffixed it with he'd hate if anyone said that about his mom. I was not offended. A friend of mine told me "I'm sorry, but your mom's a b****" and I told her "I know, I had to live with her!". It's really a relief to hear other people say those things. It makes me feel less ashamed for thinking the same things. It makes me feel like my experiences have been validated (experiences of fat shaming, body shaming, telling me to get work done, threatening to break my nose while I'm sleeping to get a nose job, being MIA when my little sister was self-harming, general projection of the things they hate about themselves onto me, kicking me out the house because my SO isn't the same religion as "us", telling me the things I'm experiencing are "just in my head", ignoring me, telling me to shut up, the homophobia, the xenophobia (shocking, they're immigrants themselves), racism, sexism (oh god, the sexism!), generally how they treat other people, etc. etc.).
Don't get me wrong, I do love people. I know people are imperfect. And so am I, and my imperfections are that I hate a lot of my family members, I'm not fully tolerant of religion, and I'm resentful. If I should accept others for their imperfections, welp... me too bruh.
I'm just ranting because I'm angry. I guess I should work on my imperfections. But, tbh, the only imperfection I want to work on is the fact that I lean towards the intolerant side of religion... for now.
Anyway, that's all. Merry Xmas/ Happy Holiday Season Y'all!
Normally my SO and I go and see our respective families for Christmas, so she's visiting them, but my extended family has some anti-vaxxers so I'm staying home. We're friends with the couple that lives downstairs and they invited me to dinner, but I travelled recently and there aren't any test kits to be found anywhere near my city, so I'll have to eat away from them. So I'm kinda bummed right now TBH. Probably just gonna watch movies and play video games, maybe get some reading in. It doesn't feel great, but it could definitely be worse.
Yeah, I recently went to see family who are of questionable vaccination status. Luckily got my hands on some rapid tests so I tested this morning, and so far so good. I've got some folks I live with that are doing stuff here that will be fun, but I definitely have lost the Christmas spirit as time has gone on.
Apparently my SO's mom has a box full of rapid tests, so she'll be bringing some back with her. So maybe we'll have the chance to celebrate afterward.
I'm feeling blue today. So blue, in fact, that I was about to create a post just to say that. This is not a recurrent feeling. It happens, but never because of Christmas. This is just another date for me, and not because I am anti-religion or anything like that. It comes naturally. I don't care much about Christmas, but also harbor no hate towards it.
This is the first Christmas that I do not spend with my nuclear family. Today I went to the family home to pick up something. It was empty, and being there without the ones I love was profoundly melancholic.
Earlier this year, when I left to live with my partner, I had only practical considerations. Is there enough space? Where will I make my exercises? What will I eat? Is it safe to walk at night? Soul-crushing nostalgia was not anticipated. It's hard to put into words. Unlike the US, in my culture, you basically remain close to your parents and close relatives your entire life. Getting kicked out when you turn 18 (or ever, really) is basically unheard of.
We're not really programmed to deal with them leaving to another continent (or even another state). That does happen, of course, but it feels like we're violating some kind of natural law.
Well, my mother still lives here. She will come back in January, along with my sibling, nephew, and brother-in-law. It'll be awesome.
In the meantime, they want to video-call me. My voice and facial expressions don't translate well on video, and I don't wanna mask today. I would just feel worse.
Masking sucks, I don't blame you. Masking to make other people comfortable when they aren't doing so much to make you feel comfortable (hence, the masking in the first place).
I'm kinda frustrated. Went to a Secret Santa party for my friend group last weekend, and my best friend and his fiancee showed up while "still getting over something". Fast forward to Wednesday, I'm running a fever, with a sore throat and light cough. It's not Covid thankfully, but I'm still sick enough that I don't get to see any family at all since I don't know how long I'm still contagious for. Partner went to her family's an hour or so ago, and I'm waiting on the text from her "my parents say you still should have come, they don't care it's just a little cold!".
I'm annoyed that no one seems to care about getting others sick now, as long as it isn't Covid.
I'm a little annoyed that I might have to defend my decision to not come because I don't want to get others sick.
I'm annoyed that I don't get to see my family for the holidays.
I'm very annoyed that all of this could have been avoided if my friend and his fiancee decided to do the right thing and wait til they were better.
I'm annoyed that I have to suffer and make "the buck stop here" while others who don't care as much get to enjoy the holidays.
I'm just annoyed.
And a little angry.
Valid reasons to be annoyed & angry. Being the responsible one when others aren't, feelings of unfairness. I totally get it dude.
The downtime when getting sick is rough, but it's needed in order to really heal. That's the only notion that'll keep me in the house & staying put when I'm sick. I tell myself: the better I don't exert myself, the better chances I have to fight this thing, the quicker I can get outside and hike & do the things I love.
I hate being sick. I'm actually avoiding telling a friend I'm in town because she refuses to wash her hair even though she's a health care worker. Evidently I always get sick when I see her (she's one of those types who spends money to get their hair blow dried and wants to keep it all nice for as long as possible - dry shampoo types (eye roll!)).
I also felt the same way (before Covid times) when I worked in an office and someone would still come in even though they are clearly sick. I worked in an energy auditing office and, as practice, I measured the carbon dioxide levels in the office. Our office was in bad shape when it came to ventilation. It seemed as though every time a person came into the office sick, 10 others would come in sick the next day (only 50 people worked in the office). I honestly blame the ridiculously small number of sick days and the fact that the president had a "butts in seats" policy (didn't let people work from home).
I also used to get sick every time I went on a plane and wanted to mask before the pandemic. I honestly think I'll still mask in public places with little ventilation even after the pandemic is under control. I want to enjoy my travels, mask up, don't ruin it for others!
Idk man, there seems to be a lack of empathy these days. At least, that's what I see as the root of the problem. Like, stop thinking of yourself/ your resources. Since we live in a society (a globalized one), we need to take the macroscopic system into more consideration when we go about things. Also, I wish people would take into account that their perspective isn't the only perspective (or "most correct"), other perspectives exist, can we extend our imagination a bit and wonder why others would do things differently and ask ourselves "is this the most considerate thing to do in our macroscopic system?". It's weird to try to teach empathy or to care for others... how does one go about it?
My contract at the current job turns over on New Years, and I was recruited to test autonomous cars, which is something of a dream job. I thought I was just a bit of paperwork and I start in a few weeks, but a driving accident from six years ago popped up that I had to track down an original police report for came up, it's not exactly flattering for me. (I got the points taken care of immediately, and have documentation that my brakes failed and they were just replaced, but I was the one who crashed the car.) I'm worried the offer might be resinded, even though I have keep my nose clean since then, and if that's the case, okay, I can find another help desk position easy, but the not knowing is the worst, especially over the holidays.
this thread is a wonderful idea, thank you.
I'm lucky to be only a 2-3 hour drive from my family (I'm in Seattle, they're on the Olympic Peninsula), but I'm still sitting out christmas this year.
my brother and his girlfriend are both unvaccinated by choice, unlike the entire rest of my family who are all vaxxed & boosted by now. my mom, trying to be accommodating, was planning on holding our gift exchange outside on her covered patio this year.
originally I figured I could grin and bear it for a couple hours, but then I started seeing weather forecasts that western Washington is about to get a big snowstorm / cold snap, and that sealed the deal for me to stay home. if I went out to visit, I'd be staying at a family vacation cabin that's ~20 minutes outside of town, and at the bottom of a steep hill with a long, winding road to the top. my car is not built for snow at all, and I really don't want to get snowed or iced in out there, or have to deal with stress of figuring out a time to drive back home at a snail's pace on icy roads.
I've never had particularly strong feelings about christmas, so I'm ultimately pretty fine with missing it. I'll go visit sometime in January and give my 8 year old niece the pile of presents that I was planning on spoiling her with, which is the primary thing I care about.
and on the plus side, since I have no obligations for tomorrow, I'll be able to stay up until 4am local time tonight to hopefully watch the launch of the JWST.