Alphalpha_Particle's recent activity

  1. How do you resolve feelings of obligation?

    ~health.mental Ask (advice)
    Hello tilderers, I have a dilemma I'm having that I'd like perspective on. I often find myself doing things not because I want to, but because I have to. I feel obligated to. It is better if I do...

    Hello tilderers, I have a dilemma I'm having that I'd like perspective on.

    I often find myself doing things not because I want to, but because I have to. I feel obligated to. It is better if I do X than if I don't do X, so I should do X, even if I don't want to.

    Though overall I don't consider "feeling obligated" a positive nor sustainable emotion to have.

    These are often tied to social etiquette and maintaining a status quo at the sacrifice? of your own comfort.

    Examples:

    You're an introverted so tend to not desire social activity as much, but understand socializing is good for maintaining relationships so you accept invites regardless of whether you have true desire to be out for the person/occasion/event.

    You should get a gift for Y because it's their birthday/Christmas because it's an expected, nice gesture but you don't really have a gift in mind or tendency of gift giving.

    Z does something nice for you, pays for your dinner/got a gift/done a favor, but was not something you wanted Z to do or asked them to do. Yet now you feel indebted to give back.

    General occasions where social and emotional reciprocation is expected and you're not entuned to reciprocate necessarily. And the general consequence of not reciprocating is weakening relationships/negativity from others etc.

    Where is the line between doing whatever you feel/comfortable with (selfishness/self centered?) and doing things because you are socially obligated to (caring about what other people think/feel about you).

    What is the resolution to negative feelings of obligation?

    How can obligation turn to desire?

    How does one perspective shift in this way?
    You do this not because you have to, because you want to do this.

    24 votes

  2. Comment on Victories and challenges: An A[u]DHD community and support fortnightly thread #1 in ~health.mental

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    Congrats? Is that the right thing to say lol How was that process for you like to be diagnosed for autism later as an adult?

    Congrats? Is that the right thing to say lol
    How was that process for you like to be diagnosed for autism later as an adult?

    3 votes

  3. Comment on How do you comfort people? in ~life

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    I'm similar in that way, I often prefer isolation as a form of comfort. It's isolation at first (during initial periods of dis/stress) but I also find it comforting once I've identified my...

    I'm similar in that way, I often prefer isolation as a form of comfort. It's isolation at first (during initial periods of dis/stress) but I also find it comforting once I've identified my feelings and achieved self control that am I able to share/vent with a close friend. Explaining something difficult that's been going on and someone willing to support me and showing genuine concern and care is valuable.

  4. Comment on How do you comfort people? in ~life

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    I think the bare minimum of comforting someone is by being present and actively listening. Body language that is open and accepting, like nodding and paying attention is part of this. Additionally...

    I think the bare minimum of comforting someone is by being present and actively listening. Body language that is open and accepting, like nodding and paying attention is part of this.
    Additionally asking questions to explore how they are feeling or what the situation is allow them to vent as well. Validating their feelings, saying it's normal/okay to feel sad/angry/frustrated/anxious about xyz. And avoiding criticizing or dismissing their emotions/reactions.
    While some people might not want immediate solutions, it is worth asking (depending on context) if there's anything you can do to support/help them with the situation. But of course only if you feel comfortable doing so.
    This is what I personally find comforting, but I'll turn the question to you as well, what behaviors from a person do you find comforting? And you try to do the same thing :)

    3 votes

  5. Comment on Georgia woman shares how she survived three weeks lost in the California Sierra Nevada mountains in ~life

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    I'm always curious about survival stories, amazing that she survived. Just a question on the leeks, if there were snowstorm/blizzards where she was.. how are leeks able to grow? Or how would she...

    I'm always curious about survival stories, amazing that she survived.
    Just a question on the leeks, if there were snowstorm/blizzards where she was.. how are leeks able to grow? Or how would she scavange in the snow?

    7 votes

  6. Comment on Can you repair coil zipper without replacing the entire zipper? in ~creative

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    Hmm that's a little bit more difficult than I had thought. I've never repaired just the teeth like that, but I can see how you might try. I'd say go for it and attempt to hand stich each tooth...

    Hmm that's a little bit more difficult than I had thought. I've never repaired just the teeth like that, but I can see how you might try. I'd say go for it and attempt to hand stich each tooth back in place and experiment. The thing with sewing is that you have an undo tool ( which I the seam ripper) in the case your stitching gets in the way.
    Alternatively applying tiny dots of super glue for each tooth (apply with a needle) might work but this is the riskier option as you might accidentally glue the teeth together.

    Truthfully in this case replacing the whole zipper might make more sense and be a longer term solution.

    1 vote

  7. Comment on Can you repair coil zipper without replacing the entire zipper? in ~creative

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    Hi can you send some pictures of the zipper situation? Close ups of the top stitching, the underside, and the ends of the zipper as well if possible. Then can maybe help you better, but sounds...

    Hi can you send some pictures of the zipper situation? Close ups of the top stitching, the underside, and the ends of the zipper as well if possible.
    Then can maybe help you better, but sounds like your zipper reinforcement or replacement is doable by hand (that is if you have some sewing skills)

    3 votes

  8. Comment on Please stop externalizing your costs directly into my face in ~tech

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    Hi I don't work in tech but this seems important/significant and I'd like to understand what's going on... Can someone please ELI5?

    Hi I don't work in tech but this seems important/significant and I'd like to understand what's going on... Can someone please ELI5?

    3 votes

  9. Comment on What's the oldest tech you use, and why do you still use it? in ~tech

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    I hate the sounds of a microwave and try to open the door before time counts down to zero. But there are times I would forget that I had food in there, so unfortunately need that annoying sound

    I hate the sounds of a microwave and try to open the door before time counts down to zero. But there are times I would forget that I had food in there, so unfortunately need that annoying sound

    3 votes

  10. Comment on For decades, the Swiss city of Basel has been transforming its skyline, and now boasts some of the greenest rooftops in Europe in ~enviro

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    Oh my, green roofs galore, I love it. Hope to see it spread to US cities like mine...

    Oh my, green roofs galore, I love it. Hope to see it spread to US cities like mine...

  11. Comment on Holotypic Occlupanids - How the internet invented bread clip science in ~science

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    A dream of mine is to one day discover and photograph a new occlupanid species

    A dream of mine is to one day discover and photograph a new occlupanid species

    1 vote

  12. Comment on Open to collaborate and draw something for you in ~creative

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    Ooh I'm interested! Happy to be a beta tester

    Ooh I'm interested! Happy to be a beta tester

    2 votes

  13. Comment on Open to collaborate and draw something for you in ~creative

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    Ooh as a fellow artist (who needs to draw more! ) would love to participate with you in a regular topic/thread for drawing practice!

    Ooh as a fellow artist (who needs to draw more! ) would love to participate with you in a regular topic/thread for drawing practice!

    4 votes

  14. Comment on a/s/l? Tildes user survey question. in ~tildes

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    Hiya! 27/F NY, USA I'm a registered nurse by trade, otherwise an arts/crafts noodler of all kinds.

    Hiya!
    27/F NY, USA
    I'm a registered nurse by trade, otherwise an arts/crafts noodler of all kinds.

    7 votes

  15. Comment on What possession(s) do you have that continue to delight you every time? in ~talk

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    Ooh yes that would look great as a blanket as well Shapes also seem more difficult than my p3 tiles-- good luck! If you end up starting it would love to get an update lol!

    Ooh yes that would look great as a blanket as well
    Shapes also seem more difficult than my p3 tiles-- good luck! If you end up starting it would love to get an update lol!

    1 vote

  16. Comment on What possession(s) do you have that continue to delight you every time? in ~talk

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    Hey! Sorry about the late reply, bit of additional hump to go through image hosting, but here's an old pic of the blanket! Imgur link Haven't seen Einstein tiles before.. Seems more complicated...

    Hey! Sorry about the late reply, bit of additional hump to go through image hosting, but here's an old pic of the blanket! Imgur link

    Haven't seen Einstein tiles before.. Seems more complicated for a crochet shape but may consider it for a future project. Would be a fun challenge!

  17. Comment on Snacks that aren't just sugar or crazy salty in ~food

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    I like snacking on dry cereal sometimes.. Not sure if that's a controversial take haha but you have many options, while many are sweet, you can consider more base/plain cereals like rice/corn chex...

    I like snacking on dry cereal sometimes..
    Not sure if that's a controversial take haha but you have many options, while many are sweet, you can consider more base/plain cereals like rice/corn chex or corn flakes or cheerios.
    Often times they're enriched with various vitamins so it's not a terrible choice!

    4 votes

  18. Comment on What are your favourite things to mix with natural yogurt? in ~food

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link Parent
    Wow never thought to go savory, I like this idea. Add Pine nuts, Parsley or Chives idk!

    Wow never thought to go savory, I like this idea.
    Add Pine nuts, Parsley or Chives idk!

    1 vote

  19. Comment on What possession(s) do you have that continue to delight you every time? in ~talk

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    I am always fond of the Penrose-tiled blanket that I designed and crocheted myself. Took about a year from concept to execution and was well worth it! I also made it during covid times so it was a...

    I am always fond of the Penrose-tiled blanket that I designed and crocheted myself. Took about a year from concept to execution and was well worth it! I also made it during covid times so it was a real comfort project for me too.

    7 votes

  20. Comment on What do you actually do at work? in ~life

    Alphalpha_Particle
    Link
    That's a great question! I went into nursing without even tangibly knowing what nurses did day to day, just the general idea, but still went through with it blind and thankfully love my job. I'm a...

    That's a great question! I went into nursing without even tangibly knowing what nurses did day to day, just the general idea, but still went through with it blind and thankfully love my job.

    I'm a registered nurse working bedside at a large hospital in a large city. My work consists of directly managing medical/nursing needs of patients (specifically adults, and those not in ICUs).
    Doctors/physician assistants/Nurse Practitioners will order medications/interventions and nurses would often implement or address them.
    I physically assess patients, give them medications (orally, intravaneously, injections), manage any tubes/drains (to or from the body), monitor vital signs, change wound dressings, draw blood/collect specimens.
    We have nurse assistants who help with this stuff but still help with cleaning patients, help them with eating, getting out of bed, etc.
    We coordinate and communicate with various teams related to a patients care, that includes doctors/providers but also social workers, physical & occupational therapy, speech language pathologists, phlebotomists, technicians for tests eg. mri/CT scans, dieticians, and of course family members.
    And then make sure all that we assess/give/do for patients is documented in their medical charts.

    Part of why I went into nursing was because it was a "real job" and had a direct/clear route to that job. One of my priories graduating high-school was that I would be able to find a job and be financially stable asap (family was poor).
    Now that I'm in the field, I've learned that it's an incredibly flexible degree. Bedside is the traditional route but nurses are in office/clinics, care management, hospital administration, community health roles, research, tele health. So a lot of options.
    And there are large portion of people who join nursing as a second degree, who had a different career prior. And it's no longer just a female role, I have many coworkers who are male nurses! Don't be discouraged by that if you are a man and think it's a woman's job, it's not!

    Much luck to you in your adulting journey! It's not simple to decide which trajectory to start in but remember that it's not a permanent choice, you can always pivot or jump as long as you're learning and building experience along the way!

    6 votes