AnEarlyMartyr's recent activity
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Comment on European Parliament achieves upgrade to air passenger rights in ~transport
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Comment on Vatican declares Society of St. Pius X in schism, excommunicates bishops in ~humanities
AnEarlyMartyr (edited )Link ParentThat’s definitely the historical Protestant point of view. Though that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the correct one for all of the rest of us who aren’t Protestant Christians.That’s definitely the historical Protestant point of view. Though that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the correct one for all of the rest of us who aren’t Protestant Christians.
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Comment on If AI is sentient then so is ‘Age of Empires II’ in ~tech
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentGlad I'm not the only one. I feel fairly confident that flies have some sort of base level consciousness/awareness/sentience. I suppose it depends how exactly you want to define consciousness....Glad I'm not the only one. I feel fairly confident that flies have some sort of base level consciousness/awareness/sentience. I suppose it depends how exactly you want to define consciousness. Bacteria I'm less clear on but I wouldn't feel comfortable completely ruling it out. Whereas I feel pretty comfortable saying that I don't think LLMs qualify on that scale. It seems to me that most of the research in the last 60+ years repeatedly finds that there are more and more of the things that we associate with human consciousness to be found at smaller and smaller scales in non human biological life.
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Comment on How important is sexual chemistry/ability/quality to you when you date/marry/whatever? in ~life
AnEarlyMartyr (edited )LinkI would consider sex to be important to me when it comes to dating/relationships. There are a couple of things coming up for me when I read your post. I'm not sure that I'm invested enough to...I would consider sex to be important to me when it comes to dating/relationships.
There are a couple of things coming up for me when I read your post. I'm not sure that I'm invested enough to write a really well written and detailed response so pardon me if I just kind of jump around a little bit. Also, to be clear I'm a cis guy into women.
WARNING: Some of this ended up moderately explicit, not horny but still, explicit.
As someone who's slept with a decent amount of people (plenty people have slept with more, plenty people with less) and hooked up, in some way, with quite a few more, I do notice that some people I just have chemistry with. Like our rhythms are just aligned, when we kiss, when we have sex it just comes naturally. It's not necessarily the people I find most physically attractive but it is the people where there is just some sort of connection, even if it's a brief fling or one night stand. It's hard to put into words what exactly that is, it's a bit intangible but it's there. That said the biggest factor I think is a mixture of interest and comfort. I've hooked up with people where one or both of us was doing it just because and kind of going through the motions and that is never particularly fun or good sex. But when both people are into it then you can almost always manage to make it work.
A lot of this comes back to communication, and creating a space where people feel comfortable expressing what they like and where the other partner pays attention and takes that into account. That is a conscious effort and a skill and not one that comes naturally to most people but it is something you can learn. IME most (not all) women I've been with need a certain amount of coaxing to share what they enjoy. There's still a real block for many women around expressing their needs in intimate situations.
Expressing what you enjoy and paying attention both to what your partner says and how they respond makes a huge difference. The more clear and open you can be the better the time you will have. I always try and tell my partners fairly early on to share with me what feels good for them and also to let me know if anything doesn't feel comfortable. This also helps make sure that everyone feels comfortable expressing boundaries (I also check in off and on to make sure it's clear I mean it and create space for them to share). And then I try and be really clearly nonjudgmental about what they share. It can also be fun to ask them if they have any specific kinks or fantasies and I also try and make sure that we're engaging in a way that I'm also getting something out of, because most people want their partner to enjoy things too.
So much of good sex is really outside of just basic PIV or your rhythm there. Sometimes when your partner is messing with the rhythm it's because they need a different rhythm, or slightly different position, sometimes it's a bit involuntary and they just need you to continue regardless.
As an example of what I'm talking about: the last person I slept with was a one night stand, it had been a while since I'd had sex and I didn't last super long. It wasn't someone where we had some great natural rhythm while kissing. However, she was obviously interested and found me attractive. She didn't climax from PIV (though she obviously enjoyed it), I did, then I offered to go down on her and did that for a while but she was still struggling to climax (she admitted it could be hard for her with a partner, which is not uncommon). So ultimately what worked best was for her to get herself off while I caressed her and dirty talked into her ear. Then we took a break, talked a bit about kinks, she admitted she really liked nipple play and so when we went again I climaxed relatively quickly and then helped her get herself off again by playing with her nipples in the way she expressed interest in. It was fun, it was relaxed, at the end of it she literally said "thank you", we cuddled, I called a cab back to where I was staying. It's not the absolute best sex I've ever had but it was fun and far from the worst. She expressed that it was the best sex she'd had in at least a while. It's also worth pointing out that I'm more than capable of working with a partner in a way that I enjoy it. Sometimes it can work best for it to be more of an I enjoy it then you enjoy it kind of thing or vice versa.
As I've gotten older that's the part of sex I've gotten better at. When I was younger I was like you and tended to go super long times (I've absolutely done the two hour thing), but honestly I think it just hurt a lot of my partners, it's rare where that's really what's wanted. So I've gotten better at lasting less time and also better at talking and communicating, I think I'm a much better partner for it, and I have much more fun cause it helps to take some of the pressure off.
Also, for what it's worth I'm not a great dancer and my sense of rhythm is mediocre at best. Maybe I'd be better in bed if it was better, but I've had more than one partner express appreciation for my performance and I think the things outside of just my natural rhythm are what really make it good.
So yeah, sex is important to me, but it's only one thing and there's lots you can do to improve it. The best sex I ever had was definitely with my ex. We had fantastic sex all the time but I still ended things because it didn't work in other ways. So take that for what you will.
This ended up being longer than I intended but I already wrote it, so I'll just let it stand.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #9: How optimistic are you about the future? (Results) in ~talk
AnEarlyMartyr LinkI put “somewhat pessimistic”. It’s complicated though, because as far as how the world is going; I’m quite pessimistic. As in, I think that we are only beginning to see the effects of climate...I put “somewhat pessimistic”. It’s complicated though, because as far as how the world is going; I’m quite pessimistic. As in, I think that we are only beginning to see the effects of climate change, there’s a lot more coming, it does and will continue to negatively impact just about every aspect of society and on the whole we are not really prepared for this. While it’s true that humanity has managed to survive so far, at some point we’ll go extinct could be soon, could be later on. Hard to know exactly, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s sooner rather than later. Not to touch on just the world wide political situation, other assorted stressors like AI, etc.
Nonetheless on a more personal level I’m pretty optimistic. I think that I’ll manage to be okay regardless. I mean I may get executed for various beliefs or die from mass starvation or whatever other thing happens (I may also just grow old happily). But I think fundamentally I’ll be alright and that’s optimism.
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Comment on Why young men sound "less manly" in ~humanities.languages
AnEarlyMartyr LinkI'm maybe out of the discourse but does anyone have any links to examples of what he's referencing? I can't say I've noticed this but also I'm relatively young and don't have much interaction with...I'm maybe out of the discourse but does anyone have any links to examples of what he's referencing? I can't say I've noticed this but also I'm relatively young and don't have much interaction with where I imagine this is most noticeable (large chunks of youtube and tik tok)
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Comment on Anyone know of any good way to transfer Apple Music playlists onto a hard drive? in ~tech
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentSweet thanks so much! This has been really helpful.Sweet thanks so much! This has been really helpful.
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Comment on Anyone know of any good way to transfer Apple Music playlists onto a hard drive? in ~tech
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentHahaha thanks, I figured that would be the case. I mean really I just don't have any experience running one and my friends who are better at this than I am are all far away. If you wanted to send...Hahaha thanks, I figured that would be the case. I mean really I just don't have any experience running one and my friends who are better at this than I am are all far away. If you wanted to send it to me anyways, maybe it's something I could work out in the future?
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Comment on Anyone know of any good way to transfer Apple Music playlists onto a hard drive? in ~tech
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentThanks for the response, this is super helpful. I don't suppose you know if there's an easy way to mass export multiple playlists at a time? Or do I need to just suck it up and go down manually...Thanks for the response, this is super helpful. I don't suppose you know if there's an easy way to mass export multiple playlists at a time? Or do I need to just suck it up and go down manually doing this for each one? The reason I'm asking is cause I'm easily looking at several hundred playlists.
Good looking out on converting the file format, I almost asked about it in the original body but I was already worried I'd gotten too complicated.
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Comment on Anyone know of any good way to transfer Apple Music playlists onto a hard drive? in ~tech
AnEarlyMartyr (edited )Link ParentCan we change titles? But duly noted, you are absolutely right this is more about a reskinned itunes than Apple Music streaming. I guess I just wasn't sure how best to label it. Thanks for the...Can we change titles?
But duly noted, you are absolutely right this is more about a reskinned itunes than Apple Music streaming. I guess I just wasn't sure how best to label it. Thanks for the note, I'll add it in to the body of the text.
I can find at least the vast majority of the files in finder. The part that I'm struggling with is how to maintain the formatting of several hundred playlists in the move, so that I'm not stuck trying to manually rebuild them. It does look like @donn shared some info that seems promising in that direction. Though any ideas on how best to streamline that process would still be much appreciated.
Thanks for taking the time out to try and help me with this, I really appreciate it.
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Anyone know of any good way to transfer Apple Music playlists onto a hard drive?
EDIT: As one user pointed out, this is not about Apple Music the streaming platform, this is about basically itunes but itunes no longer technically exists as an application. So a little...
EDIT: As one user pointed out, this is not about Apple Music the streaming platform, this is about basically itunes but itunes no longer technically exists as an application.
So a little background: my father just died and a big part of his life was listening to music, for most of his life he's been building themed compilations of songs he liked using whatever medium was available, magnetic reel tapes in the '60s and '70s, then cassette tapes, then CDs, and of course playlists for the last 20 or so years. Now my mother and I would like to back up and save a lot of that work as those compilations have a lot of sentimental value and are pretty unique. There's lots of old obscure rhythm and blues and soul songs that you aren't really going to come across anywhere else. However, it's pretty much all locked into Apple Music, which isn't really a problem in the here and now, because we all have tended to use macs since my mother adopted them in the '80s or '90s. However, we don't really want that data just locked into a private ecosystem that has been getting more and more restricted and where we have less and less control.
So I'm looking for a way to keep those playlists intact and export them out of Apple Music in a playable format and into a less locked in system to then back them up. Most of the music should be DRM free as a lot of it would have been taken off of CDs probably as MP3 files, though a lot of that would've happened 15+ years ago.
Does anyone have any ideas about the best way to do that? I seem to be able to manually export each one into a .txt file but of course it's not really playable sound files. My tech skills are pretty limited, I have about an average amount of knowledge or even slightly more for someone my age (30s) who grew up around computers and the internet but I grew up after it necessary to have basic coding skills to use computers so my experience doing even basic coding or running scripts is pretty much nil. Any ideas would be appreciated.
Edit: it’s version 1.0.6.10
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Comment on Rob Reiner and wife Michele Singer found dead at LA home; homicide suspected in ~movies
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentI'll be interested to see if there's actually a lot of evidence for this or if they just went "Welp the son has a history of drug use, so probably him." I'm not saying that that's the case, but I...I'll be interested to see if there's actually a lot of evidence for this or if they just went "Welp the son has a history of drug use, so probably him." I'm not saying that that's the case, but I can also see how it might be. The limited amount of coverage that I've read seems to do quite a bit to emphasize his previous history of drug use and some amount of homelessness. Now I get that sites want articles on this and have almost no real info, so they have to write about something, and obviously plenty of people with that history commit crimes, but also the stigma does make you a likelier target for investigation, guilty or not, when something like this happens. And there's a pretty big gap between doing drugs and living on the streets and stabbing your parents to death.
Obviously too early to tell, it could be he's guilty as sin and the cops are just doing a good job quickly making progress on a high profile case. But it's not like it's unheard of for the LAPD to jump to conclusions based on limited or circumstantial evidence and fuck up a case.
Maybe it's just that I can relate, as someone who's a similar age to Nick and who also struggled with substance use and homelessness as a teen and into my 20s, but who's never even come close to murdering a family member. With so little info, it's easy for me to project myself here, living out my worst nightmare, imprisoned in the midst of a family tragedy, blamed because of the mistakes of my youth. I'm torn between hoping for his sake that he's innocent and his conscience is clean of this tragedy, and hoping that he's incredibly guilty, the whole act caught on film for mine.
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Comment on Advice/Suggestions on headphones or earbuds while listening to voices in the same room in ~tech
AnEarlyMartyr LinkI'm not sure it they're the best fit but I have the Shokz Openfit Air and really like them. They aren't bone induction, basically just a directional speaker, so you can hear what's going on around...I'm not sure it they're the best fit but I have the Shokz Openfit Air and really like them. They aren't bone induction, basically just a directional speaker, so you can hear what's going on around you well, and I've been pretty happy with the sound quality. They clip over the ear so I'm not sure how well they'd work with glasses but at the very least might be worth checking out.
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Comment on The realities of being a pop star in ~music
AnEarlyMartyr LinkSomehow I knew exactly which Lou Reed interview that was going to be before I clicked. What a classic. And what a fun way to make a point about fantasy vs. reality in our relationship with...Somehow I knew exactly which Lou Reed interview that was going to be before I clicked. What a classic. And what a fun way to make a point about fantasy vs. reality in our relationship with popstars and fame.
It's hard for me not to engage some particularly critical part of my brain reading this. Yet, I enjoyed this article, and the more medium to long form written content that's at least trying to engage with nuance that's put out the better. So maybe I'll leave some of that criticism on the floor and just leave it at having enjoyed the piece and perspective.
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentTipping was a European custom imported to the States somewhere in the late 19th to early 20th century that then died out (mostly) in Europe.Tipping was a European custom imported to the States somewhere in the late 19th to early 20th century that then died out (mostly) in Europe.
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~tildes
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentI've honestly just started clicking accept on cookies for sites that I like or news I'm actually consuming. I just think of it as paying in a currency they want (my data). It's not my version of...I've honestly just started clicking accept on cookies for sites that I like or news I'm actually consuming. I just think of it as paying in a currency they want (my data). It's not my version of an ideal currency but it's what the world seems to have decided on. I'm much more worried about the deeper systemic tracking issues of the internet and things like the fact that I'm forced to use gmail and google drive for work these days than a few measly cookies that will get purged at the end of a session. Besides my data is pretty useless, I make it a point to buy as little online as humanly possible.
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Comment on Study suggests that the Universe's expansion 'is now slowing, not speeding up' in ~space
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentThis is part (only part, admittedly) of the reason I am so mediocre at woodworking and sewing. An 1/8 of an inch here a 1/4 of an inch there. "It doesn't matter." But of course you do that enough...This is part (only part, admittedly) of the reason I am so mediocre at woodworking and sewing. An 1/8 of an inch here a 1/4 of an inch there. "It doesn't matter." But of course you do that enough and all of a sudden everything looks kinda wonky.
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Comment on Germans have a reputation for being Europe's most enthusiastic nudists – but survey suggests Danes are not only more accepting of stripping off in public, but more likely to have actually done so in ~life
AnEarlyMartyr (edited )LinkHaving spent time in both countries, I'm not at all surprised. Denmark is the probably the only place I've ever gone to a party where several people decided to just get naked and hang around doing...Having spent time in both countries, I'm not at all surprised. Denmark is the probably the only place I've ever gone to a party where several people decided to just get naked and hang around doing dishes and what have you in the nude. This has happened more than once. Both men and women. All under 30 at the time. No one was particularly out of sorts about it. So yeah, I buy it.
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Comment on How would I meet you outside of Tildes? In the flesh, so to speak. in ~life
AnEarlyMartyr LinkI live full time at a Buddhist monastery so you could meet me there or at a related teaching event. I meet a lot of people and regularly swap contact info with the ones that I connect with....I live full time at a Buddhist monastery so you could meet me there or at a related teaching event. I meet a lot of people and regularly swap contact info with the ones that I connect with.
Whatever you may feel about religion writ large, there tends to be a lot of in person community there. And there are few other places in the modern world where it is so easy to arrive as a stranger with no money and be likely to be welcomed in and find ready made community. I guess maybe 12 step meetings but they’re right on the border of religious spaces anyways.
Of course not everyone is interested in or feels comfortable spending time in those spaces. But if you’re at all interested you might be amazed at how diverse your options are. Whether it’s traditional Chinese Buddhist temples where you might be one of the only native English speakers or a Christian church that doesn’t even care if you believe in God to just about anything in between.
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Comment on How would I meet you outside of Tildes? In the flesh, so to speak. in ~life
AnEarlyMartyr Link ParentJust chiming in in support of reading books at bars. Something I’ve long been a fan of.Just chiming in in support of reading books at bars. Something I’ve long been a fan of.
Part of the reason I still just go up to the counter to check in.