TheGrumpyWelshman's recent activity
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Comment on What are your favorite break up songs? Or my lover left me songs? in ~music
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Comment on What did you recently do in your hobby that you're proud of? in ~hobbies
TheGrumpyWelshman Link ParentI think a lot of the patience comes from a mix of boredom, and from having autism/adhd which means I'll be hyperfixated on it for a while lol. Hopefully long enough to finish it. Another part is,...I think a lot of the patience comes from a mix of boredom, and from having autism/adhd which means I'll be hyperfixated on it for a while lol. Hopefully long enough to finish it.
Another part is, it's an illustration of mime and my friends characters from the game Destiny 2, so I want to finish it for them.Honestly, I don't feel my art is good enough to share yet. The only place I've posted is Instagram, under a different username, but I also post a lot of depressing art there too, so it's all mixed lol
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~games
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkIf I joined the server, would I have to help with the community projects, or could I just go in a random direction, find somewhere nice and build? Also, just to check, is it creative or survival?If I joined the server, would I have to help with the community projects, or could I just go in a random direction, find somewhere nice and build?
Also, just to check, is it creative or survival? -
Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (August 2023) in ~health.mental
TheGrumpyWelshman Link ParentThank you for the reply. All of the things that remind me of him, such as notes and pictures, I've torn up and thrown away. The only things I haven't gotten rid of are a backpack he painted and...Thank you for the reply. All of the things that remind me of him, such as notes and pictures, I've torn up and thrown away. The only things I haven't gotten rid of are a backpack he painted and decorated, since I use it regularly. A picture I found that he drew of me, I'm learning how to draw and going to use it as a reference. And a box he painted, but that's going to be thrown out as soon as I've emptied it. Everything else is just things I've found as I've been moving. The one that hurt the most was yesterday, I found one of the matching rings we had made, engraved with the coordinates of where we first met. It hit me pretty hard.
I do truly want to reach out to my friends. I just don't feel I can lately. I've got a very small friend group, and half of them are incredibly busy so they don't reply for hours, somtimes days. Of the other half, one lives across the world so time difference make it difficult, and the other one I don't want to become to reliant on because I know I need to fend for myself too, if that makes sense? I guess I'm scared of losing any of them by being too much of a downer, but also becoming to dependent on other people.
I'm trying to be kind to myself, and honestly it is working. Since moving I've been eating a lot more fresh fruit and veg, less junk/snack fokd. Sleep is difficult for me, and so is leaving the house, but I'm going to try walking more soon.
Thank you for all the advice, I really appreciate it :)
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Comment on Ask Manga Recommendation thread in ~anime
TheGrumpyWelshman Link ParentOooh, thank you for all the suggestions. Silent Voice definitely sounds like one that will be interesting, so I'll give that a go. I've never heard of Webtoons, but Dr. Frost looks interesting,...Oooh, thank you for all the suggestions. Silent Voice definitely sounds like one that will be interesting, so I'll give that a go.
I've never heard of Webtoons, but Dr. Frost looks interesting, especially if it's from the side of a professor.
The manga I'm reading right now is Suicide Boy, wasn't sure if it was something I'd be allowed to share due to the name. I also read through "My Lesbian experience with Loneliness" which I found thought provoking, as some of the loneliness themes in there I connected with.
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Comment on Ask Manga Recommendation thread in ~anime
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkI've only just started reading some manga. I've read a one shot, currently reading one about depression, and another about sexuality and mental health. I was wondering if anyone could recommend me...I've only just started reading some manga. I've read a one shot, currently reading one about depression, and another about sexuality and mental health. I was wondering if anyone could recommend me some other mental health focused ones?
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Comment on What did you recently do in your hobby that you're proud of? in ~hobbies
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkI passed 40 hours on a digital drawing that I've been doing. I've shared the progress with a few people and had nothing but good responses so far. I'm feeling really proud because I only started...I passed 40 hours on a digital drawing that I've been doing. I've shared the progress with a few people and had nothing but good responses so far. I'm feeling really proud because I only started drawing 3 months ago I think? Even though its far from finished, I'm still anxious about the colours as that's what I struggle with, but I'm feeling hopeful.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (August 2023) in ~health.mental
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkI'm going through another low point. I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, constantly going up and down. Recently started living on my own for the first time in years. Got dumped by my ex...I'm going through another low point. I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, constantly going up and down.
Recently started living on my own for the first time in years. Got dumped by my ex fiance last year, after being engaged for 5 years, together for 9. We kept looking at moving in together but it never worked out, and sometimes when I'm just on my own, I get reminded that the plan was to live with him.
In my seriously low points, I have checked his social media. I know he started a relationship within a few months of dumping me, and is already engaged to them. They just celebrated their 1 year anniversary, which obviously makes me feel down. It's also 2 weeks away from what would've been our engagement anniversary.
While moving a lot of things to my new place, I still keep finding love notes he'd left me in notebooks or sketchbooks. Or an old memory box I had filled with cards and little trinkets. That keeps hitting me hard. I also keep having dreams about him. I keep being angry with him (we haven't talked since the startt of the year, so I'm not arguing or shouting at him), for lying to me for so long. Also angry with myself for not seeing it, or not fighting harder for the relationship, and just for not being over it by now.
I think physical loneliness is getting to me at times. I've got a few friends I talk to regularly, but I miss that connection with someone.
Have been getting stressed with the process of moving, sorting out money, all that kinda stuff. Even though I'm doing a lot, I keep feeling like I'm not being productive enough. I can recognise that I'm putting myself down, but I can't stop.
Started learning more about autism and adhd in the past few weeks, and while I was diagnosed at an early age, I never really looked into it. Seeing all things I do that are stereotypical of both, it's nice knowing there's a reason, but I keep kinda getting annoyed at myself with some of them. Especially the adhd, losing my train of thought constantly, or forgetting to do important things.
I'd love to talk about a lot of this stuff with my friends, but I feel like I burden to them whenever I think about doing it. They have their own lives, stresses and issues and I don't want to add to them.
In the past few months, I've started learing to draw and putting a lot of my emotions into those, and it does help somewhat. If anyone does read this, sorry for the long ramble. I just wanted to get it off my chest. -
Comment on What is your favourite cutscene/cinematic in any game? in ~games
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkI gotta say, the Taken King intro cutscene from Destiny is one of my favourite all games. From the little dialogue intro, to the big battle scene. It's just great. https://youtu.be/rAZOVt4K8TwI gotta say, the Taken King intro cutscene from Destiny is one of my favourite all games. From the little dialogue intro, to the big battle scene. It's just great. https://youtu.be/rAZOVt4K8Tw
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Comment on Anyone else feel/used to feel that they will be alone both platonically and romantically, forever? in ~talk
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkYes. Right now for the romantic side of it, it might be due to bad breakup, feeling like I wont ever feel comfortable enough to be my true self with another person again, or even trust anyone in...Yes. Right now for the romantic side of it, it might be due to bad breakup, feeling like I wont ever feel comfortable enough to be my true self with another person again, or even trust anyone in that way again because it could end in an instant. I do laugh at myself for feeling like that, yet also yearning for the closeness of a relationship again. I don't think I miss my ex, but I miss being with him, if that makes sense?
As for platonically, I've got a few good friends I talk to regularly, but even those I feel slipping away. Two friends don't seem to have enough time to talk, or even reply much these days. I feel with them, I put in more effort into trying to talk. The others I'm not as close to, I really appreciate them for being there, but those can be difficult too, time zone differences and all that. I have no irl friends I see on a regular basis, no idea how to make those. Doesn't help being autistic and socially anxious.
I completely understand the hopeless feelings. The future is terrifying, and even more so when you feel so alone. You've got this though. It may take time, but I'm sure you'll find some people. Eye contact isn't as important as people make it out to be. One of the things I've learned is (and it may seem obvious to some, but I didn't realise) it's not about maintaining eye contact! Even just a glance every few seconds is enough for most people, and even then it doesn't have to be direct eye contact. Just generally in the eye/face area and a lot of people don't tell the difference.
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Comment on Any popular game genres you just can't get into? in ~games
TheGrumpyWelshman Link ParentNot sure if it counts as a Battle royale, but Among Us I just can't get into. I'm not a huge fan of a lot of pvp games, things Fortnite and PUBG just don't call out to me enough to try more than a...Not sure if it counts as a Battle royale, but Among Us I just can't get into. I'm not a huge fan of a lot of pvp games, things Fortnite and PUBG just don't call out to me enough to try more than a handleful of times. But Among Us I tried a few and, I'm not sure what it is that stops me, but I cannot enjoy it at all.
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Comment on What’s an unrealistic expectation you feel pressured to meet? in ~talk
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkI feel pressured to get over my ex fiancé What makes it unrealistic to me is, we were together for almost 9 years, so almost a third of my life. Engaged for 4 of those. My friend circle consisted...I feel pressured to get over my ex fiancé
What makes it unrealistic to me is, we were together for almost 9 years, so almost a third of my life. Engaged for 4 of those. My friend circle consisted of Him, and two other close friends. He's the only one I would see IRL. Even now, over a year and half since he dumped me, I can't get Him out of my mind. It became even worse a few months ago when I found out He's now engaged to his new partner He'd known for less than a year.
Having one third of your friend social circle basically forget about you, I think its unrealistic to be able to get over it in such a short amount of time, and it doesn't help being autistic, so "change" can already be a struggle for me.It's mostly myself, and a close friend who I feel are applying the pressure. Me because I want to be over him and get out of this depessive cycle I am stuck in, and my friend because I think I've vented to them too much and they're tired of hearing about it
I think the expectation feels specific, but I know a lot of people go through this so it's definitely something many people suffer with. I think some people deal with it so much easier, they expect other to do the same.
I think expanding my social circle and possibly finding another relationship could change the expectation. I have made new friends in that time, Although some have started to fizzle out. I've tried to find another relationship, but I haven't for two reasons. 1. I want a proper relationship, I don't want to enter a rebound and hurt myself or the other person. 2. People I have liked either ended up ghosting me after a while, wanted too much too fast, or we both decided friends suit us better.
(Hope this isn't too long, and answers the questions)
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Comment on Steam 2023 Summer Sale: Hidden gems in ~games
TheGrumpyWelshman Link ParentValheim and 7DaysToDie I've been enjoying co-op. Destiny 2:Free-to-playish. You can do the intro story, explore the planets and (i think)do strikes, which are short co-op missions, without paying...Valheim and 7DaysToDie I've been enjoying co-op.
Destiny 2:Free-to-playish. You can do the intro story, explore the planets and (i think)do strikes, which are short co-op missions, without paying anything. For me, the shooting and movement system feels like one of the best.
If you want something more casual, Stardew Valley is chill and very enjoyable in co-op.
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Comment on LGBT introductions thread: What's your story? in ~lgbt
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkI'm Grumpy, an autistic, pansexual, Welshman. Came out when I was about 18 I think, when I started dating my second girlfriend who happened to be trans. Over the years I've been trying to get more...I'm Grumpy, an autistic, pansexual, Welshman. Came out when I was about 18 I think, when I started dating my second girlfriend who happened to be trans.
Over the years I've been trying to get more invested into the community, but it's difficult when you're not the most social person, lol. So I've stuck to chatting to people where/when I can, and trying tk get involved in some lgbt gaming groups. -
Comment on Twitter is now forcing us to create an account. Here's another way of viewing tweets without an account. in ~tech
TheGrumpyWelshman LinkI'm actually slightly glad of this change. I tend to check on my ex's social media when I'm depressed (which then makes me more depressed), so if this change can be a barrier to stop, good for me....I'm actually slightly glad of this change. I tend to check on my ex's social media when I'm depressed (which then makes me more depressed), so if this change can be a barrier to stop, good for me.
That said, I can understand why it's a bad change for a lot of people. Hopefully it'll also make other people use twitter less?
The One that sticks in my head, especially lately, is Memories by Yungblud
The reason it hits me is that Yungblud is/was my ex's favourite artist, and the second to last time I was together with him was at a Yungblud concert.