Thomas-C's recent activity
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
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Comment on US President Joe Biden announces that he will not run for re-election in ~news
Thomas-C Link ParentI mean, if I went out and did something, had a bunch of it go kinda bad, had a bunch of folks say I should stop, and then I got covid, I'd probably be thinking a bit cosmically about it. Even if...I mean, if I went out and did something, had a bunch of it go kinda bad, had a bunch of folks say I should stop, and then I got covid, I'd probably be thinking a bit cosmically about it. Even if it was really important...Is this just "being tested" or is the universe basically saying "don't make me stop the car"? It would be hard to avoid leaning toward "ok fine I'm done", just off that one thought.
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Comment on US President Joe Biden announces that he will not run for re-election in ~news
Thomas-C LinkI think other folks have covered pretty much anything there is to say about the immediate future, so I'm gonna step outside of stuff for a second with it. It's an impressive thing to me to see...- Exemplary
I think other folks have covered pretty much anything there is to say about the immediate future, so I'm gonna step outside of stuff for a second with it.
It's an impressive thing to me to see someone set aside pride and power. I think he sincerely believed in himself, that he was able and worthy. Whether that was realistic on his part, if it was good timing, etc doesn't really matter now, it's done and now folks have to move so we'll just see what happens from here. To actually make the decision demonstrates a relationship to power I can respect. I'm sure he's well aware, that an unfathomable amount of blame will rest on him if things go south. That's how it was gonna be either way, but a weird part of pride sometimes is deciding it's better for you to take that blame than anyone else, and he didn't go down that path either. Since there's not much to really do right now, to me it's worth taking a second to just think about the person at the center. Dude made a choice that plenty would never consider, that plenty would refuse regardless what's realistic or the expense at which it comes. He made it as one of the most powerful people there is, under intense pressure, during insanely difficult times, and he's an old guy on top. It's worth remembering, I think.
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Comment on US President Joe Biden reportedly more open to calls for him to step aside as candidate in ~news
Thomas-C Link ParentI'm apt to agree, especially with the very last part. Frame it like pulling all the voters together to spit fire right in the face of disaster, through an underdog. Biden having had a rough go...I'm apt to agree, especially with the very last part. Frame it like pulling all the voters together to spit fire right in the face of disaster, through an underdog. Biden having had a rough go might enhance the effect, even. I can't say I'd bet a lot on the party actually doing it but it would be pretty awesome to see. Give folks something to remember if nothing else.
If the times have proven anything, it's that anything is possible, might as well take the hardest shot after all the shit that's gone on.
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Comment on "The Last Idealist" - a philosophical newsletter sort of thing in ~humanities
Thomas-C (edited )Link ParentI will look around and see if I can do RSS. I've never actually done anything with it before, but if it will make things easy for folks I'm game to learn. I really appreciate ya'll taking an...I will look around and see if I can do RSS. I've never actually done anything with it before, but if it will make things easy for folks I'm game to learn. I really appreciate ya'll taking an interest!
Edit: If you have a spare moment, would you mind checking out this version and see if it reads better? I looked around for auto-sized layouts and it seems to work out much better on my devices.
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Comment on "The Last Idealist" - a philosophical newsletter sort of thing in ~humanities
Thomas-C Link ParentMy bad. Yeah, I'm being simplistic/colloquial there. There is some stuff I have regarding idealism and materialism, but I'll make those meanings way more clear when they come up.My bad. Yeah, I'm being simplistic/colloquial there. There is some stuff I have regarding idealism and materialism, but I'll make those meanings way more clear when they come up.
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Comment on "The Last Idealist" - a philosophical newsletter sort of thing in ~humanities
Thomas-C (edited )LinkEdit: try the auto-sized version. I got ahead of myself and should have looked around a bit Hey folks, I tried to do a thing and wanted to share it with you. Not long ago I jumped into a...Edit: try the auto-sized version. I got ahead of myself and should have looked around a bit
Hey folks, I tried to do a thing and wanted to share it with you.
Not long ago I jumped into a discussion and ended up rambling again about politics and systems and such, and moocow1452 asked whether I had a newsletter. I didn't, but was flattered, so I tried to make something.
This first essay is me setting the stage a bit, laying out where I'm coming from, who I am, and what I intend to do. What I wanted to do is obtain some permission and set a schedule for myself with this topic. I don't want to be disruptive, and I'm not trying to antagonize. Because of the subject matter, there will be moments of me talking askance of different issues/problems and approaching situations from angles that get used a lot for all kinds of ends. I will inevitably write something that angers someone, that makes them suspicious, so on and so forth, but it's never my intention, is the best I can say. I want to be clear, that I make a distinction between what I observe and what I personally believe, and these essays are firmly rooted in the "what I observe" part of that sentence. I will share personal things along the way, and pledge to make it as obvious as possible when I'm doing that, because I want to maintain respect for the fact you are each a thinking person. I'm not trying to be a lecturer or a moralist, nor particularly partisan. I will fall into something I'm sure, and I'm aware of all the stereotypes about people saying they have no ideology/are "apolitical". I just have to take that to do what I want to do, is how I see it.
The schedule I'd like to set for myself, in the short term, is an essay every week, posted on Sunday mornings. I wanted to share this one now so I could pitch the idea and see what folks think. I'd post the next one on the 28th of July. If that works, this means me posting a topic every week, with a link to the essay. The comment section would be the discussion of it. Once I feel like I've "caught up" a bit, I might change to bi-weekly, or when particularly major events occur. I suspect we're in for a lot of "major events" so I'll do my best not to be ridiculous about that. I don't mean to report news. Folks are already plenty good at doing that and I do have a completely different set of things in my life to keep up with. I want to be thoughtful, sincere, and detailed, so I don't think I should try to ride at the very edge, if that makes sense.
I've shared in the past about my plans and endeavors, and really appreciate the level of engagement folks have shown with all of that. My own conditions have shifted a bit, to a state where my business potential is a bit reduced and I've got some unexpected spare time. I didn't want to do a separate site/mailing list, because while I'd like for lots of people to read it, I'd prefer I get to that because folks shared it with each other, with people they think would like what I wrote. As I say in the essay, I won't be trying to do a business venture, and won't be advertising myself. I want to preserve authentic communication as best I can, and I also want folks to trust my intentions. I want some attention, not all of the attention. So it's just a simple document, a thing to read in the morning with your coffee and think about. You're free to keep it, give it to people, whatever you would like to do. I'd appreciate some credit but I left out my name on purpose - it's about the content, not me. If folks want to follow along, this would be the place to do that, my account here on Tildes would be that. The hope is that if I can do this and catch a regular audience, I can engage with folks and hone my perspective enough to compose a bigger work, a book or something like that with all the proper citations and details.
So I guess in a way I'm asking for permission, to post some raw philosophical work here on the regular. It will involve politics a lot, but not always, because in the end what I hope to accomplish is an account of our time that encapsulates not just abstract movements of systems, but the experiences and feelings of people. So that as the future unfolds, there is an answer to the question, "what happened" that at least tries to be a complete picture, that isn't derived from groups intending to answer that question toward achieving particular ends. As I wrote in the essay, I know being objective isn't really possible, but I think the way to answer that problem is to simply say "I'll do my best". I'd like to see what folks think, however opposed or different their perspectives are, and see what I can put together with all of it in mind as I try to puzzle things out for myself. As always, I appreciate your time and attention.
I'll also abide by whatever tagging/topic heading folks think will work best. I figured ~humanities would be best considering the type of work I'm trying to make, but am happy to defer to the community.
Edit: Would ya'll be interested in audio? I could always read it out and post that along with a written version.
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"The Last Idealist" - a philosophical newsletter sort of thing
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Comment on Donald Trump whisked off stage in Pennsylvania after apparent gunshots rang through the crowd in ~news
Thomas-C (edited )Link ParentI don't have one, but it's worth thinking about. I'll take a day or two to think on it, and I really appreciate your feedback as well as folks giving me attention. I'm not really sure how to...I don't have one, but it's worth thinking about. I'll take a day or two to think on it, and I really appreciate your feedback as well as folks giving me attention. I'm not really sure how to describe the sort of angle I have, other than to say I want to be good at looking at stuff. I think I could expand on a lot of what I was putting together, but also want to be sure I'm staying relatable and open to adjustment. I have personal opinions, things I wish were so and stuff I think is right and good, but try to keep that separate and distinct from "what is there" and "what happens". And in the end I'm fairly simple - I want things to work out. For you, for me, for everybody. Whether or not that's possible, likely, etc., is just a separate matter, with its own attendant concerns and details. Maybe a way to put it is to say I'm attempting an empathic, psychological political philosophy in trying to weave everything together. I shy away from descriptions like that so I don't end up constraining myself. Anyway, I'll see what I can do, and I'll let ya'll know if I've got something to check out more regularly.
Edit: I tried. See what you think, and if folks are cool with it, I'll keep it up
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Comment on Donald Trump whisked off stage in Pennsylvania after apparent gunshots rang through the crowd in ~news
Thomas-C (edited )Link ParentAppreciate you, I'll give it a shot. I think it's important to start with some basics about what it means to be an inverted totalitarian form, and then I'll try to lay out (in a broad and...- Exemplary
Appreciate you, I'll give it a shot. I think it's important to start with some basics about what it means to be an inverted totalitarian form, and then I'll try to lay out (in a broad and oversimplified way) what each candidate represents, the paths their respective political lineages seem likely to take us down. I'm not really trying to predict things, but it will sound like that a bit because I don't think I can get my point across without sounding like I'm doing that. The period of time we are in and heading toward has different fundamentals, is I guess how I've been trying to look at it.
The gist of calling this place an inverted totalitarian form is that it is a democratic system which has been compromised by Economy, where "Economy" refers in the broadest sort of way to the collection of corporate entities that drive our economic activity. For the US, the story has been of a transformation in two stages, I think. In the last quarter of the 20th century, the democratic form was weakened and Economy was allowed to encroach upon it. In the first quarter of the 21st century Economy overtook democracy as the source of governance, it had enough of a role to play in the formation of policy and international affairs that it rather than us was calling the shots, so to speak. Some landmark moments would include things like the war in Iraq and later Citizens United. The will of the people became secondary to the interests of economic groups, and economic groups eventually came to dictate most of the choices voters were able to make. The parties became pathways, the means by which the transition was accomplished by being the things voters interfaced with after Economy interfaced with the parties, if that makes sense. It is way more complex and multifaceted than this but enough for making the point I wish to about our current predicament.
By now, we've reached a critical juncture, where there's a real threat of civil conflict on top of the effects of degrading institutions just sort of piling on top of each other plus ecological catastrophe. Economy sucks at governing, because "profit" sucks as a central operating principle, again to oversimplify. It's shortsighted, amoral, without principle and without direction. Wherever interest lies is where it goes. The inverted totalitarian form is not a straightforward form of governance, because it's more concerned with maintaining conditions and eliminating rules than it is with human advancement. It has to capitulate to the latter on some level to avoid destruction and facilitate accumulation, but the priority means life has little value and its quality almost none.
What the candidates represent are the two ways by which this system is attempting to keep itself from coming apart.
The republican lineage has been one of embracing Economy overtly, and so in this moment represent the system becoming more overt in its operation. There's some complicating factors in there, but the basic point is that they represent the system hardening itself. Hardening, in that it means to restrict the availability of power, eliminate the possibility of interference with governance by the people, their own as much as anyone else. It doesn't mean we stop voting or stop having elections, rather it means those actions being reduced to something almost totally perfunctory. A game Economy plays with itself, to determine which people in it get to call some shots. The complicating factors revolve around the sort of folk they had to rope in to get to this point. It won't be straightforward corporate control, so to speak, because they had to use religious zealots and the lineage of the Confederacy among others. Multiple groups, each of whom is deeply interested in being the source of governance, makes for conflict and actual threats to Economy itself. Conflict is practically guaranteed, because competing interests like these can't coexist with each other.
The Democratic lineage represents the system attempting to mend itself in a way it's done before, by providing for what prevents civil conflict while still attempting to allow Economy its position as the source of governance. It does that because its had its practice pretty much fully understood and exploited along with the humanity of the participants. Both parties are intensely corrupt but this is why that criticism sticks more to this party - it is the remnant of the democratic form, reduced to maintaining an image because Economy already won, so to speak. I don't mean to discount the things they do accomplish (real things matter), but the problem is that fundamental changes to the system are simply off the table because of the loss Economy can inflict upon them. That means in the end the inverted totalitarian form continues, more peacefully but with little shot at preventing further crisis - they have yet to adapt. So what they represent in this moment is a kind of "business as usual" that is fundamentally incompatible with the present circumstance. Incremental change works in a functioning democracy, it does not function when corporations are people and money is speech, where compromises are made with entities which cause global problems. Hence saying it's like maintaining an image - the image is being maintained even as the canvas comes apart. Similar to republicans, their approach practically guarantees conflict, but unlike republicans there is still a weird shot at doing different because the competing systemic approaches within them don't exist in nearly the same ways. There is always the possibility of using the power that remains to accomplish things, but the vestiges of the form mean a reluctance to do that.
In other words, the choice is between the system hardening itself, and it attempting to mend itself. Neither works because the world around us is shifting rapidly and the effects of our journey through the inverted totalitarian form has meant a sort of comprehensive degradation. The phrase "comprehensive degradation" might evoke some real nasty shit I don't mean to veer toward, but I don't think there's a better way to describe the effect the withering of our democratic institutions has had upon us, alongside the massive impact of the Internet on socialization, on top of the culture of being a place governed by business.
Hopefully that made some sense. It's hard to put it succinctly, so I tried to think about it like a working model and present that. I don't think folks should be discouraged thinking about so many different things. It doesn't really change what there is to do. I wanted to alleviate a feeling of both, being overwhelmed and thoroughly weirded out, and that was where I landed with it.
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Comment on Donald Trump whisked off stage in Pennsylvania after apparent gunshots rang through the crowd in ~news
Thomas-C Link ParentI'm not denying the asymmetry nor the threat being posed. I appreciated a more nuanced view because the spectacle survives on obfuscating where power lies and squishing away nuance. If folks want...I'm not denying the asymmetry nor the threat being posed. I appreciated a more nuanced view because the spectacle survives on obfuscating where power lies and squishing away nuance. If folks want to go over how each candidate will continue the form I wrote about I think I can deliver that, but no one asked, and folks already went through the list of qualities like the ones you've pointed out. I'm not going to write as though there's some group of undecided voters hanging on my words.
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Comment on Donald Trump whisked off stage in Pennsylvania after apparent gunshots rang through the crowd in ~news
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Comment on Donald Trump whisked off stage in Pennsylvania after apparent gunshots rang through the crowd in ~news
Thomas-C Link ParentA lot of what you wrote sums up my primary concern with the whole thing, past this event and the election itself. The democratic form got fundamentally changed long ago, and what exists today is...A lot of what you wrote sums up my primary concern with the whole thing, past this event and the election itself. The democratic form got fundamentally changed long ago, and what exists today is competing forms of a different thing. The power rests elsewhere, in the myriad interests who will persist regardless who wins this election. Trump is beholden; he is not the leader, as you wrote. The lie of who he is extends to every facet of what he projects, including the idea of him being a leader at all. It's what calling him something like a "post truth populist" drives at. After him come only stronger opponents, more difficult obstacles. The best case scenario of this election is still an inverted totalitarian form. The chance was on a late 20th century liberal acting very much out of character. Whether the odds were ever good didn't matter, it was about taking the chance in the face of the system hardening itself.
I wanted to point at your perspective because in my opinion it's where folks needed to be with it for a very long time. Time remains for the situation to change, but there's a reason I don't join in on talking up democracy and hammering on what Trump is doing. That's all spectacle in my view, The Spectacle even for folks who read that book. My original sentiment here is literal, practical - whether within democracy, inverted totalitarianism, whatever, it simply should not be.
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Comment on Donald Trump whisked off stage in Pennsylvania after apparent gunshots rang through the crowd in ~news
Thomas-C LinkCondemnation is the only appropriate response in my view. It's unacceptable, there are no exceptions. It's discouraging, disheartening, to see it happen. My own feelings are simply irrelevant,...Condemnation is the only appropriate response in my view. It's unacceptable, there are no exceptions. It's discouraging, disheartening, to see it happen. My own feelings are simply irrelevant, it's about not wanting to live in a place where shit like this is how folks try to resolve anything.
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Comment on What are your beliefs about aging? in ~life
Thomas-C Link1. What decade of your life are you in - < 20, twenties, thirties, etc. Middle of my 30's. 2. In what decade (see above) do you think old age begins? For most folks I'd say 70's/80's. That "old...1. What decade of your life are you in - < 20, twenties, thirties, etc.
Middle of my 30's.
2. In what decade (see above) do you think old age begins?
For most folks I'd say 70's/80's. That "old age" begins when the fact of it is the guiding thing, the central operating principle, and folks in their 60's just aren't quite there yet in my limited experience. Some are.
3. What characterizes being "old" to you? For example, loss of sexual attractiveness, diminution of physical strength or stamina, illness, loss of mental agility, etc.
Physical decline primarily, some stuff is unavoidable no matter how well you prepare. There's a mental component to that too, but I think that gets messier really quickly. Best I can say, there is a dampened ability to connect dots quickly. What characterizes being old to me is when this decline is central, when working around it consumes much time and life is oriented more around accommodating what isn't going as well.
4. At what age do you think you will be too old to function as you want to in life?
Probably late 70's/early 80's if I get that far. If my hands work, 90's, but I don't think that's likely. I don't care what happens to my body at that point, as long as I can think and express, and use my hands - I'll go as long as I am able if that stays. I don't intend to be here if I'm reduced to just thinking inside a flesh prison, just to be straight with you. If I'm lucky and someone takes the time to help me express then I can go further/reevaluate.
5. Do you have experiences of aging (personal, family, acquaintances, caregiving roles) that give you concerns or hopes about your own future?
Yes, many concerns. I live with an elderly person, I experience their social activities and talk with their friends. If I don't resolve some of the things that framed a lot of my existence there's a risk they envelop me, that I just get stuck at some prior stage. I see people on a regular basis who, as a result of unresolved trauma and poor relationships, are unworkable, awful people to be around. They cannot see reality anymore, it's all through a lens of pain and old patterns. I want to be an old person who sees themselves as exiting a bigger pattern of things, not someone who anguishes over things I can no longer do anything about or stuff I could never get done. I also anticipate living through a violent transition period from a globalized economic system to whatever in the hell comes after that. If I am not killed off during that time I don't think I'll be living in a world with good elder care, and the experience of that is certain to alter how I understand people/the world. I can't anticipate much but it doesn't look good on that front. A lot to pay attention to, and a great need to make sure my mind is well structured/defended/however you want to say that. I am deeply pessimistic about the world I live in, and deeply optimistic about the people in my life. I'll just have to see how the needle gets threaded there because thinking too far ahead feels foolish.
6. Do you believe age confers any benefits, and what might those be?
Wisdom can't be overestimated. Intuition honed and developed across a lifetime seems like good shit to have. Being the guy who did a thing for 50+ years can only happen as an old man. Experience and knowledge accumulate, so the longer I can go the more of a benefit I think I can see. Of course, I also need some folks who actually listen and care, that's its own work and the benefit is of being safe and secure despite a declining ability to enforce that for myself. The benefits of good relationships accumulate like the knowledge and experience do.
7. Assuming no catastrophic health events, do you believe life will seem better or worse to you as you age?
Worse, unequivocally. I have no reason to think I'll live in a world remotely like the one I grew up in, and what approaches appears much harsher. It will be worse because it will have gotten worse, I will have seen it become worse. I have already had that experience across my lifetime thus far - cool tech is not a substitute for functional government and a consistent ecology. I, myself, may be fine enough, but it's always mattered to me how things work out for everyone. I don't know how I'll think about it decades from now but I don't expect having a very positive opinion. I already feel like the world has thrown away opportunity, and it will be a long while before such opportunity arises again.
8. Do you feel like aging people are a burden to those younger?
When they don't do the work of not being a burden, sure. If they trap themselves in prior traumas, shit relationships, needless material struggle, and become nasty about it I completely understand younger folk leaving them out to dry. I would not expect anyone to care for me if all I did was spit venom and complain while fucking up my own existence. As a younger person currently caring for an elderly person, I did have to make a decision about which elderly person I would apply my devotion toward, which meant having to evaluate folks a bit. The alternative in my life was someone who is so completely trapped they cannot properly communicate anymore - I didn't go to them. The history there was terrible, and meant little to me. Being related has never meant a lot to me, on its own - it's about what you did together. Bonds and history matter, the feeling of being burdensome comes from how those things played out, on both ends. An older person might feel they are a burden and no one around agrees, because their family loves them and doesn't mind doing whatever needs doing. Otoh, an older person might not feel that at all and everyone loathes helping them because of it. It's complex and different between people. I don't think it makes much sense to try to say something as absolute as "old folks are/aren't a burden".
9. Do you find yourself using pejorative words about age?
No. There's no reason to be insulting around age in general. It's all about who it is we're talking about, and age means something in that context. Divorcing the age related criticism from the person imo is often just a bad move intellectually, you'll have a hard time justifying it and all the old folks, nice and mean, will likely just think you're a shitbag. I wrote above in a bit of a pejorative way because of the specificity of the question - I don't see a need to really think about what most or all old people are.
Where there exists a bit of an exception, is how frustrating it is to deal with people who have lost the will to think toward the future. That's a very old person thing to do that unfortunately means a lot for folks coming up behind them, and it is hard to not feel betrayed when I listen to older folks try to deny or obfuscate parts of reality they didn't expect/didn't want. Too bad, so sad, is honestly what I want to say sometimes - things happened, we're here now, deal with it as it is. That's what I got told along the way, take your own advice. If it feels like waking up on a roller coaster that's because we've been on a roller coaster and you were asleep. I've been sitting in the front the whole time (as I do on actual roller coasters) and have at least a few decades more to endure. I'd prefer folks be realistic and focused so we can survive better. I won't deny folks reminiscing but I also won't be listening much after about ten or fifteen minutes. There's only so much "good old days" I can hear before I start to get fuming fucking mad at how far away we've gotten from them, and if I'm honest I've only met maybe two elderly people ever who understand this sentiment in its full form. One of them is my grandmother, it's part of why I decided to throw out a life and career to go help her out.
I think a lot of what I wrote changes when the person in question holds power. I want to know their condition, in granular, fine detail, and I don't give a shit how embarrassing or difficult it is to talk about. Power changes everything. I can spare the feelings of an everyday person who does not control much, who has no real role in my future. I refuse to do that for someone who can command a nuclear weapon and bring my country to ruin. I also think my country is more important than shit like "but what will [opponent] say". Fuck what they say. Show the people what they're in for, what they're getting, and if the opposition wants to make some shit up and not show people the same, go hard in the paint and accuse them of being the addled, burdensome old moron. Being merciful and kind is for our grandparents. The country, the presidency, is not our family. It's a higher standard, the highest of standards, and yeah that means you get completely exposed if you want to do it. That's how the public does accountability, that thing we all say should exist but doesn't, because we are ourselves doing old person shit - trying to hide from the parts of things we don't like and didn't expect. Trapped in immaturity and fear, to be overly simple and blunt about it.
Call me an asshole all day long, I don't mind. Connect all the dots and label me, whatever helps you sleep. I'm not making a case for giving up or voting our country into ruin. But I will not sit here and fool myself into thinking it is a good idea to have fucking granddad negotiate us through a rapidly changing world, so to speak. That's stupid no matter how you slice it and even if granddad is just the sweetest dude who ever lived, with perfect eyesight and a sharp mind, he should not be up there. That we decide between "granddad and his elder care team" and "demented racist great-uncle + inheritance stealing cousins" is a complete failure of society for which I have no forgiveness. I'll go to my grave thinking that even if I get to have the experience of children telling me they don't believe my stories and laughing. Everything could go complete Sunshine and Rainbows and I will still hate this place for ever putting me in such a position. It's one of those things I'll have to work out some way or other, so that I don't end up in my 80's spitting venom and ire at everyone, a burden I do not appreciate.
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Comment on What is your favorite Final Fantasy game? in ~games
Thomas-C LinkFinal Fantasy IX I got that game as a Christmas gift from a family friend. It was totally unexpected; I had no idea he knew that I liked anything like that, and I also didn't know IX had come out...Final Fantasy IX
I got that game as a Christmas gift from a family friend. It was totally unexpected; I had no idea he knew that I liked anything like that, and I also didn't know IX had come out yet. He gave me that and the guide book, so I spent around three straight days just playing that game. I got to the end after doing other stuff for a day or two. Probably, honestly helped with learning how to focus on something and get it done over a long stretch (follow the guide book to see the game). I found myself relating to the characters to that one in a way I think everybody who plays Final Fantasy feels about one particular entry, in general. There's always one that just hits you for one reason or another if you're meeting them where they're at.
In IX, Vivi was always a character who stood out to me. I had played Final Fantasy VII, and a bit of VIII, but didn't really relate much to the characters in those. In Vivi I found that. Though I didn't grow up alone, I was very lonely, and as I was getting older the sci-fi novels meant I was pondering weird and large things. As a kid, I was someone who was trusting to a fault, pure in intent but often not able to see that such intent often gets used, getting pretty hurt when that happened. Vivi was like that. He didn't know where he came from, why he was there, and got suckered into stuff from time to time by folks who were just being shitty and self absorbed. The way Vivi meets up with Zidane, the way their friendship develops and the fiery kind of devotion Zidane has to his friends stuck with me. It was like seeing a glimpse of what could be, how things could work in a more detailed way than saying it that straightforwardly.
As a kid I'm not sure how I picked up on it but it stuck with me. I felt like I was like Vivi, and that I wanted to be someone like Zidane. I felt a lot like i was alone, misunderstood, and I could not stand getting led astray. I wanted to be someone who was brave, whose strength came from how much he cared for folks. The sort of person who is both, kind and strong. The game didn't set things in motion, but it gave me an image, is the way I want to put it. Like being told "yeah, that's a thing you can do", it's not that things immediately shift and change, it's that you remember when the question comes up. Remember, you can tell that person you think they're good, that they did a good thing, that you like who they are. Much of the raising what happened with me was about protection - what you do to avoid different situations, kinds of behavior, defend oneself, stay safe. What I experienced in school was folks trying to constantly get away with shit, who usually disappeared when I punched them in the mouth, but i hated doing that. It's been through these occasional glimpses, and later on my own deliberate effort, that has kept that sort of sentiment alive.
In some of the darkest moments, strangely it was something that hurt the most sometimes. That what I wanted to be and who I was were not coming together, they were driving apart. I would remember some of the same moments, and interpret them completely differently, which itself was not an easy thing to deal with. The process of undoing that never hinged on something like Final Fantasy IX - its role is small and accidental - but it would be wrong to say it was not part of my life in a significant way. It means something the others can't, so I can make all kinds of exceptions for it despite my significantly different and always changing taste. I don't really experience just the game when I play it: I remember things, feel old feelings, engage in something I don't feel like the word "nostalgia" adequately captures. Adding "deep" to it doesn't do the trick either.
Better translation too, that really makes a difference. VII was good and all but awkward sometimes in a way IX just doesn't do as much. I didn't particularly enjoy VIII. The music is nicer to me too, the instruments sound nicer and I enjoyed the more flavorful parts of it. I prefer when the music is more suited to the context with unique stuff for unique moments. I never got that much into Final Fantasy after IX, so it's kinda where I left the series. I think it happening at the right place and right time meant I couldn't really get into the others after I played it. I played turn based games for a long time after but never had an experience like that again. I had other significant experiences, just can't be 12 or 13 twice kind of deal.
My favorite to play is Tactics. There are mods for that game which tune the difficulty in ways that I like, so I've gotten a lot out of having that one around. I always have it, it's something I do when I have to wait in places for a while and share the save between devices. Just really good all around, in a fantasy novel kind of way.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
Thomas-C LinkI've been rereading Bandits in the Marsh/Water Margin. I read it the first time around ten years ago, and for whatever reason decided to do so again. I love that story, so much awesome shit...I've been rereading Bandits in the Marsh/Water Margin. I read it the first time around ten years ago, and for whatever reason decided to do so again. I love that story, so much awesome shit happens. It begins with weird mystical stuff immediately and all the different stories are fun. I like how the author talked about himself in the preface:
Alas! Life is so short that I shall not even know what the reader thinks about it, but still I shall be satisfied if a few of my friends will read it and be interested. Also I do not know what I may think of it in my future life after death, because then I may not be able to even read it. So why think anything further about it?
"Hell yeah" is what I would say. The very beginning has a moment I liked. A man walks up a mountain to talk to the shaman at the top, a Taoist. He's delivering a letter from the emperor requesting help with a plague, so while he's determined, he's also stressing pretty hard. He starts to doubt the use of the task, when a snake shows up, spits at him, and he feints. When he wakes up, a younger monk on a cow is there with him, playing a flute. The younger monk basically tells him "oh yeah so, the shaman isn't here but he heard about you, you're good, things are gonna work out, so you can head back". The man is baffled but decides, well the snake spit was scary enough and the monk can't lie, so he heads back down the mountain, back to the monastery/village. They let him know, that was the shaman, that he's pretty young but nevertheless omnipotent, all good. Then the guy spots a door to the "Subdued Fiends Hall", and asks the monks about it, if they'll open it. They say no, that that's obviously a bad idea, and the guy just loses it on them. Demands to go in and instigates a mess of shit because he's had it with monk stuff.
The book tells tons of stories and they all have a bit of emotional depth to them along with awesome shit, like a guy fighting a tiger barehanded. I read this, Three Kingdoms, and Dream of Red Mansions around the same time, and remember all of them having that certain sort of depth. The time since I last read it makes it feel pretty new to me so I'll probably go through those again too.
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Comment on A long-ish essay about Elden Ring in ~games
Thomas-C Link ParentI especially like how you drew the line between your competitive endeavors and what the game is doing. It's also really cool to read about taking on the catalogue like that - I did a similar thing...I especially like how you drew the line between your competitive endeavors and what the game is doing. It's also really cool to read about taking on the catalogue like that - I did a similar thing after Elden Ring released. I played it, loved it, and then went back to Demons Souls and just went until I got back to Elden Ring. I had followed them as they released, struggled my way through, maybe played again once or twice, but this time was different. I was really looking at them, trying to understand the whole of what each game was, what they were doing, how they were made, and so on. And just as you said, the authenticity of it shone through brilliantly, it's like something shifted in a big way and a bunch of games I already liked and thought highly of became something really different and special.
What's doubly impressive was when I did the same thing with Armored Core. I followed Armored Core VI because I've always been way into "mech" anything, and I had those games on my PSP a long time ago. As different as they appear from Souls, they're fundamentally doing the same thing. You build your character, change tactics and gear to meet challenges, and slowly become something uniquely powerful. It's just that instead of building a person, you're building a vehicle and learning how to drive it, and instead of stories of gods and creatures, it's stories of humanity shining within technological darkness. As you figure out, which parts do what, what feels good and what gets things done, you figure out the build that works for you and become an ace with it. Elden Ring feels like a kind of marriage of what Souls began and what Armored Core was already doing - here's this huge set of tools, see which ones really work for you and get to work. Armored Core is very different to play, it feels different and you have more parameters open to you with respect to building your vehicle/character, but fundamentally it's so similar that I just could not stop playing.
This bit is a spoiler so I'll hide it in case folks haven't seen it
The end of ER's DLC was one of my favorite experiences, because it felt like everything really coming together. Not just the combat, but the narrative and characters too. Miquella's eternal youth meant a pure intent, the drive to try to make a world better than the one Marika made. At the same time, that youth meant he failed to understand how compelling obedience didn't lead to that desire. In following him, we saw characters being the best versions of themselves. They were compelled to follow by way of having their core qualities heightened, and that manipulation extended to us, too. We became the best we could be, to get to Miquella, and finish what we were there to do - rid the world of what came before, good or bad, because that is what is necessary to bring forth something new. It was such an amazing conclusion to the DLC, especially the final scene driving home that pure intent. I can't think of anything in gaming that really compares to a story like that told the way it was.It's going to be pretty tough to play much else for a long while, I think. As much as I enjoyed other titles, as big of a role as some of them have played for me, as you said it's Fromsoft who's doing the stuff I really wanted to see. The medium is unique, it has its own strengths, and Fromsoft is using those strengths to their fullest to deliver expressions. Going back to the very beginning, it's honestly been a kind of uplifting experience watching them grow and develop, like getting to see a Best Case Scenario actually come to fruition and play out to the end. And on top of that, from what I've seen/read lately Miyazaki understands where they're at - Elden Ring was huge, there won't be one like that again, so it's time to use this structure to let other folks direct their own experiences, allow for more people to direct more projects. As dreary and cynical as the gaming industry can be, there it is, a ray of hope. The real deal living among us, so to speak.
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Comment on A long-ish essay about Elden Ring in ~games
Thomas-C Link ParentThey've gone in some different directions over time, because their approach limited a bit the content they could make, but Bonfireside Chat was one such podcast I really enjoyed listening to. Two...They've gone in some different directions over time, because their approach limited a bit the content they could make, but Bonfireside Chat was one such podcast I really enjoyed listening to. Two guys playing through each of the games, location by location, just seeing what there is to see, piecing everything together, and coming together at the end to talk about what it all meant/what it was. They did all of the games, from Demons Souls up through Elden Ring, and as the communities grew they would bring on guests from all over - youtube channels, modders, pvp players, etc. Their show is still going, and the success of it meant they could branch out and do a bunch of other kinds of gaming content. Really good material to listen to while you're working, they go into just enough detail to feel like you're experiencing the game with them without having to do anything. Their other content is solid too, I still check what they've got from time to time.
Personally, some of the most fun I've had has come from the co-op mod for Elden Ring. I played with a friend for a bit, and then some with some folks I met online, and had a fantastic time. With my friend, we both were familiar so we would just go in with big weapons and smash stuff up. With the others, they were pretty new so I would hang back and be a wizard about it - dispense some wisdom now and then and fire off spells from the back to break aggro/get folks out of a tough spot. In all of the games, I stuck to a pattern of clearing content alone, then opening up multiplayer and helping folks through it. I've never gotten much into the competitive aspects of pvp, but a showdown now and then is great. Mostly though, it's the helping folks I really liked, because it's in that I got to see others have their moments of pulling off something unexpected, learning a new thing, etc.
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Comment on Your favorite deeply unpopular music in ~music
Thomas-C Link ParentThat was awesome, I really appreciate you linking it.That was awesome, I really appreciate you linking it.
I picked up Tunguska: The Visitation on sale about a week or two ago, and started playing a bit in between life stuff and reading.
One of my favorite games ever is STALKER, and Tunguska feels like a real homage to that title. Where STALKER centered on the Chornobyl power plant, with its own explanations for the weirdness, Tunguska leans harder on Roadside Picnic for its narrative. You're exploring the USSR after an event that caused an area of land to go wonky and strange, as a 20th century American journalist. Pre-internet, so no pda or smartphone, less of a mix of western and eastern tech/weapons. You have to keep track of the directions folks give you and build a mental map of where you are, because there is no GPS or quest markers. It's third person and top-down, where STALKER was a first person shooter, which means you can be more methodical, especially doing stealth.
I haven't gotten very far into it, but what I've seen has endeared me pretty hard. The developers clearly loved STALKER, and clearly had their own vision, so it feels kinda like playing a different take on the same ideas. There's a much bigger emphasis on roleplaying and quests. You're a journalist, so part of your goal is to learn about the place and report your findings. You can interview people to learn more, then reach your editor with the big stuff to progress some that along. It's up to you whether to focus on that, doing stuff for people, and/or exploring.
The very beginning is straightforward but quickly you're given the freedom to go wherever and find what's out there. It has full controller support too, so while it does take some adjustment I'm finding it very comfortable to play on my steam deck. I'm interested to see where it goes, because of all the stuff spawned through Roadside Picnic the original story has always been my favorite thing and thus far Tunguska seems to be straightforwardly attempting to use it for a pretty detailed survivalist-rpg sort of experience.