cysearo's recent activity

  1. Comment on How to not feel lonely? in ~life

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    OCPD is a personality disorder, it pervades my entire personality, all of who I am. It is extremely disheartening to realise what I thought were personality quirks were really just symptoms of how...

    OCPD is a personality disorder, it pervades my entire personality, all of who I am. It is extremely disheartening to realise what I thought were personality quirks were really just symptoms of how broken I am. I was "me" earlier but don't know if that is who I should be, that person is abnormal, they have a mental disorder. And if I can't be "me" then who should I be? It all seems overly melodramatic now that I've typed it out, maybe I should just get on with life. But can I really trust this judgement? I'm feeling terrible because I have no one to share this with. I couldn't possibly tell my parents; their child can't possible be broken. I have told my friends, but they don't quite get it. I told my girlfriend about this, but she can't help me in the state that she is in right now. Where am I to go? What am I to do?

    1 vote

  2. Comment on How to not feel lonely? in ~life

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    I've tried to do what little introspection I can since I read your comment and it has been extremely helpful. I think I said what I did because I don't think I'm worth other people's time, which...

    I've tried to do what little introspection I can since I read your comment and it has been extremely helpful. I think I said what I did because I don't think I'm worth other people's time, which isn't true. I have some great friends, and if it came down to it I'm sure they'll help. At some level I just want others to be there for me without me having to ask for it, which is silly (and most likely just my codependency speaking). I'll try to be more vocal about my needs with my friends.

    9 votes

  3. Comment on How to not feel lonely? in ~life

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    Thank you very much for taking up the time to write this out. I'll try my best to look up groups for OCPD and codependency online; I think I may have found one for codependency already. At some...

    Thank you very much for taking up the time to write this out. I'll try my best to look up groups for OCPD and codependency online; I think I may have found one for codependency already. At some level I knew that I can't be the only one experiencing what I am experiencing, but hearing someone else say it (even if only an anonymous stranger) really does help ease the sting.

    6 votes

  4. Comment on How to not feel lonely? in ~life

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    OCPD and OCD tend to differ in some very fundamental ways. Unlike people with OCD, I have no anxiety about how I behave, it's the opposite -- I'm conviced that what I'm doing is absolutely right....

    OCPD and OCD tend to differ in some very fundamental ways. Unlike people with OCD, I have no anxiety about how I behave, it's the opposite -- I'm conviced that what I'm doing is absolutely right. It is this revelation, that I think I'm right but I may not be is what really bothers me. I can't seem to trust myself anymore. At the moment I'm trying to read as much about my disorder as I can, and implementing what I learn along the way. My experience ends up being particularly hurtful because of how my OCPD and my codependency interact -- I hurt myself because it feels right and not hurting myself hurts because it feels wrong. I just don't have anyone to share this with at the moment and that makes it worse.

    3 votes

  5. How to not feel lonely?

    ~life Ask (advice)
    Hi, I joined Tildes a long time back but haven't been the most active member. I was recently diagnosed with OCPD by a psychiatrist and I feel I may be codependant as well. Off late I have been...

    Hi,

    I joined Tildes a long time back but haven't been the most active member. I was recently diagnosed with OCPD by a psychiatrist and I feel I may be codependant as well. Off late I have been feeling terrible but don't a lot of people I can talk to -- my SO suffers of OCD and is going through a particularly tough period in her life, she has explicitly said she can't be there for me; I don't quite share a relationship with my friends when I can just call them up in the middle of the night when I'm feeling terrlb;e. I'm feeling exremely lonely; what can I do to not feel this way?

    I would normally describe myslef as emotionally stable, stoic even. However, this recent diagnoses has been quite upsetting; the best way I can describe what I'm feeling is an erosion of my sense of self. I realise all of what I'm feeling my head, and I fear that I may be just imagining most of problems. I'm at a state where I don't quite know what to do anymore, what I need is someone to tell me what do at any given point of time. I can't pursue therapy at the moment due to a variety of constraints but I am reading books which have come heavily recommended from others suffering similarly.

    19 votes

  6. Comment on Andy learns how to cook northern Indian food in ~food

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    Yeah, I see what you mean. It's funny, finding feta here is damn near impossible.

    Yeah, I see what you mean. It's funny, finding feta here is damn near impossible.

    1 vote

  7. Comment on Andy learns how to cook northern Indian food in ~food

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    Making paneer yourself is fairly easy . We Indians do it quite often. If recall correctly as little as milk and lime juice should suffice (the final structural integrity may leave something to be...

    Making paneer yourself is fairly easy . We Indians do it quite often. If recall correctly as little as milk and lime juice should suffice (the final structural integrity may leave something to be desired however). I wish I could help you more, but it's my mother who's the expert. I'm sure something should turn on YouTube.

    3 votes

  8. Comment on Share your favorite vegetarian meals in ~food

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    I had no idea. Cheers!

    I had no idea. Cheers!

    1 vote

  9. Comment on Share your favorite vegetarian meals in ~food

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    Oho! An Indian on Tildes! I think you may be the first Indian I've seen on here. I live in Delhi and and presently in my second year of college studying computer science. What about you?

    Oho! An Indian on Tildes! I think you may be the first Indian I've seen on here. I live in Delhi and and presently in my second year of college studying computer science. What about you?

    1 vote

  10. Comment on What are you reading these days? #6 in ~books

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    Could you elaborate on this a bit? As someone who's been a lifelong casual reader, I would think that the first step to really appreciating literature (or anything really) would be to see why...

    Could you elaborate on this a bit? As someone who's been a lifelong casual reader, I would think that the first step to really appreciating literature (or anything really) would be to see why something works the way it does. For instance, I have read many classics, which while I think are good, I can't see what makes them great. Would literary theory (which I didn't know of hitherto) help with that, or have I just not read as mindfully as I should have?

  11. Comment on Linux users: after finishing distro hopping, where did you land? in ~tech

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    Hi. I've been using Linux a while; mostly for programming and college related stuff. However, I don't really understand the inner working of it (have been meaning to get around to LFS, hopefully...

    Hi.
    I've been using Linux a while; mostly for programming and college related stuff. However, I don't really understand the inner working of it (have been meaning to get around to LFS, hopefully over the next semester break). I know that an init system has PID 1, which means that it's the first process which starts, and I'm assuming it then gets around to starting other processes. Is that right? What else should an init system be doing? What use-case do you have which isn't fulfilled by runit?

    I've been trying to learn more about Linux. I would be grateful if you could explain this. Thanks!

    1 vote

  12. Comment on Learning English from the ground up in ~humanities

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    The last time I was taught English, was at a high school level. We were tested on two fronts: our writing skills and our comprehension of prose and poetry which was a part of our curriculum. The...

    The last time I was taught English, was at a high school level. We were tested on two fronts: our writing skills and our comprehension of prose and poetry which was a part of our curriculum. The whole thing was a bit of farce really, so I'm not too sure what you mean by mechanics. Is it the grammar and syntax? Wouldn't the grammar play a huge role in a writers style?

    On an unrelated note, from reading your comment I'm lead to believe that education in English is quite different from I thought it to be. I apologize for my naivete, but what do those with such an education do professionally? Teach? Become authors? I'm sure there are entire markets which depend on people with such expertise but I can't think of any at the moment; I've been stuck in the STEM bubble for some time now.

    Thanks for taking the time out to write such a lengthy response. It is really interesting seeing this from an educators perspective.

  13. Comment on Learning English from the ground up in ~humanities

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    Are there any prerequisites to the courses you teach, or any prerequisites that students must satisfy to be studying where you teach?

    Are there any prerequisites to the courses you teach, or any prerequisites that students must satisfy to be studying where you teach?

  14. Comment on Learning English from the ground up in ~humanities

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    I've only read the descriptions, but they seem to what I had been looking for. Thank you!

    I've only read the descriptions, but they seem to what I had been looking for. Thank you!

    1 vote

  15. Comment on Learning English from the ground up in ~humanities

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    I remember seeing this lecture by Dr. Steven Pinker where he criticized the very same manuals for being dated. However, from what I've read the 4th edition of Fowler's deals with a lot these...

    I remember seeing this lecture by Dr. Steven Pinker where he criticized the very same manuals for being dated. However, from what I've read the 4th edition of Fowler's deals with a lot these issues. Will look into it, thanks!

    1 vote

  16. Comment on Learning English from the ground up in ~humanities

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    The book looks promising, will definitely read this one. Thanks!

    The book looks promising, will definitely read this one. Thanks!

    1 vote

  17. Comment on Learning English from the ground up in ~humanities

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    Getting feedback on what I've written is probably not possible, but would undeniably be useful. Something like a human grammarly. Come to think of it, that's exactly what teachers do, too bad I...

    Getting feedback on what I've written is probably not possible, but would undeniably be useful. Something like a human grammarly. Come to think of it, that's exactly what teachers do, too bad I didn't appreciate it enough back in school.

    Reading mindfully is definitely something I can do. Never thought I'd read a history book for the writing rather than what's being written about - guess there's always a first time for everything. Thanks!

    1 vote

  18. Comment on Learning English from the ground up in ~humanities

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    As I mentioned in another comment, I probably overstated my present lack of skill. I've been speaking English since I was about four, and (to my shame) am probably more comfortable with it than I...

    As I mentioned in another comment, I probably overstated my present lack of skill. I've been speaking English since I was about four, and (to my shame) am probably more comfortable with it than I am with my mother tongue. I can confidently say that my present ability to converse and write in English is decent (what qualifies as "decent" is of course debatable, but lets settle for "sufficient to carry out meaningful discussions on online forums"). That said, I've spent far longer writing and the re-reading the original post than I would care to admit.

    I don't "know" why some things work while others don't. I can only intuit the wrong from the right and that intuition falls apart when the difference between the two is subtle. I guess you could say that I merely picked up English, and never really learnt it. This is something I'm trying to change.

    I say my grammar and punctuation are bad, because I can't, with any amount of confidence say that they're good.

    What do you believe has led to you having a good command over the English language? Was it your education, or is it a result of habits which you inculcated, or something else entirely?

    Also, out of curiosity, could you please point out the error I made in the original post?

  19. Comment on Learning English from the ground up in ~humanities

    cysearo
    Link Parent
    I had feeling that this point might be brought up. No, my present occupation doesn't require my knowledge of the English language to be any better than it presently is, nor do I see that ever...

    I had feeling that this point might be brought up.

    No, my present occupation doesn't require my knowledge of the English language to be any better than it presently is, nor do I see that ever changing in the future. I'm confident of my ability to make myself understood by others, and that, arguably, is the only purpose a language must serve.

    However, I'm sure I don't need to make an argument in favor of the fact that languages are beautiful and are a lot more than just a vehicle for ideas. Even if you asked me for an argument I probably couldn't give you one. There's just something about being able write and speak eloquently which attracts me and it is something I'm finding extremely difficult putting into words.

    Excellence in any field is a monument which must rest upon a rock solid base of fundamentals - a base, which in my case is extremely shaky if not non-existant. I couldn't tell you why any sentence I've written hitherto is correct (or even incorrect for that matter). I wrote them because they just "felt" correct to me. This bothers me a lot, because presently, the only "standard" met by what I write and speak is dictated by the muddy memory of something I learnt about 10 years ago. So I while I don't want to "Learn English from the ground up" per se, I definitely want to clarify and understand the fundamentals.

    Having re-read the post and the title I now realise that I may have come off a little stronger than I intended to, in expressing both, my present lack of ability and my final objective. This probably led to a gap between the message I was trying to convey and the one I actually did.

    2 votes

  20. Learning English from the ground up

    ~humanities Ask
    There was a recent thread on ~talk about which linguistics habits people find annoying, and much to my horror, I have most of those which were mentioned. After thinking about it a little more, I...

    There was a recent thread on ~talk about which linguistics habits people find annoying, and much to my horror, I have most of those which were mentioned. After thinking about it a little more, I realized that a lot of these habits were picked up from the media I consume and the people I interact with. I also feel that this problem is exacerbated by my poor knowledge of English grammar.

    While I was taught grammar at an elementary level in school, I didn't quite grok it back then, and mostly relied on my instinct, as to what "sounded" right. I have since forgotten most of what I had learnt, and my instinct is failing me - my grammar is atrocious, my punctuation is terrible and I only have auto-correct to thank for my spelling.

    I understand that English, like other languages, is constantly evolving. What is wrong now might be right tomorrow. However, I believe that this is no excuse for my shortcomings as there is merit speaking and writing in accordance with what is considered correct in the present day.

    I would like to learn English from "first principles", and would greatly appreciate if some users could suggest some books/resources which could help me (bonus points for resources pertaining to British English). Any other suggestions would also be great.

    Thanks, and have a nice day.

    24 votes