lexabear's recent activity
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Comment on What did you do to "prepare" for your marriage? in ~life
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Comment on What did you do to "prepare" for your marriage? in ~life
lexabear Link ParentYou've covered the giant ones, but there are others too. You're lucky that your health insurances allow non-married partners. That's uncommon since same-sex marriage was legalized. Health...You've covered the giant ones, but there are others too.
You're lucky that your health insurances allow non-married partners. That's uncommon since same-sex marriage was legalized. Health insurance and joint taxes are huge benefits that most people need to be married for.
There are a zillion smaller issues that are covered in innumerable laws that carve out protections for marriage that don't apply to long-term-committed-partnerships. Examples:
- social security benefits
- inheritance taxes
- standing to sue for wrongful death
- can't be compelled to testify against each other in court
- assumed paternity
- leave benefits (many employer policies or state laws allow sick or bereavement leave for kin)
Something like court testimony or bereavement leave is usually not the reason most people decide to get married. Many laws aren't needed as long as everything is going well. It's the protections that kick in when shit hits the fan that are the important ones.
Again, this is not to say that anybody should get married if they're not really into the idea. Just to say that it's more than a piece of paper. I also want to explicitly state that I am describing an is and not an ought - certainly, as our society marries less and relies on long-term partnerships more, we should redraw the line of who counts as "an important person in someone's life", or even take romantic-partnership-with-a-single-other-person out of it and allow anyone to designate anyone else as a "co-householder". But while we have the laws that we currently have, marriage is important for legal reasons.
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Comment on What did you do to "prepare" for your marriage? in ~life
lexabear Link ParentI disagree fully. "Fully committed with no escape hatch" is only one way to see marriage, and if that's the way you prefer your relationships, that's fine. It's exactly the opposite for me: one of...I disagree fully. "Fully committed with no escape hatch" is only one way to see marriage, and if that's the way you prefer your relationships, that's fine. It's exactly the opposite for me: one of the things that helped me decide to get married was knowing that there was an escape route if the relationship no longer worked out. I don't know that I would ever get married in a state where divorce wasn't available.
For the same reason, I have no tattoos. There is nothing that I love so much that I'm absolutely certain I would still want it on my skin when I'm 90. If there were a machine that easily and totally got rid of tattoos, then I would get a tattoo.
Even with a prenup, divorce isn't easy. I've had friends who have gone through amicable divorces where they worked everything out as quickly as possible, and the process still sucks. There's no reason to intentionally make it suck more.
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Comment on What did you do to "prepare" for your marriage? in ~life
lexabear Link ParentMake sure that you have considered all the legal protections that marriage offers. You can absolutely be married without having a wedding if the party doesn't appeal to you. I am also...Make sure that you have considered all the legal protections that marriage offers. You can absolutely be married without having a wedding if the party doesn't appeal to you. I am also non-religious and didn't want a wedding, but got married for many boring legal reasons.
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Comment on Word processing like it's 1993 in ~tech
lexabear Link ParentMonkey Island included a "wheel o pirates" - a disc with a spinner where you combined upper/lower pirate faces to get the key to run the game. Physical DRM was both great when themed like that but...Monkey Island included a "wheel o pirates" - a disc with a spinner where you combined upper/lower pirate faces to get the key to run the game. Physical DRM was both great when themed like that but also a PITA, and lord help you if you lost the doohickey.
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Comment on The Steam Winter Sale has begun (Dec 21st - Jan 4th) in ~games
lexabear Link ParentI loved West of Loathing. If you like it, Shadows of Loathing is more of the same in a different setting.I loved West of Loathing. If you like it, Shadows of Loathing is more of the same in a different setting.
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Comment on Recommendations for medical history in ~humanities.history
lexabear Link ParentBedside Rounds (http://bedside-rounds.org/) is another great medical history podcast.Bedside Rounds (http://bedside-rounds.org/) is another great medical history podcast.
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Comment on Someone registered their phone subscription using my email in ~tech
lexabear LinkOnce, a camgirl used my email address to register for some site that handled subscriptions/registration. I started getting a few emails with the subscriber's financial details (name, phone, credit...Once, a camgirl used my email address to register for some site that handled subscriptions/registration. I started getting a few emails with the subscriber's financial details (name, phone, credit card info). I emailed the customer service for the site and their tepid response was basically "we'll ask her to change it".
Surprise, she didn't, and after I got another email (a bit later; it seemed like she wasn't doing huge business) I did the "executive carpet bomb" telling the high-ups that they were sending people's financial info to some rando and their customer service didn't think it was a big deal. And this site was in an EU country, so GDPR was a huge issue.
Executive response was an immediate "We will get this taken care of." and I never got another email.
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Comment on How many of you wouldn't be alive if it weren't for modern medicine? in ~talk
lexabear LinkI have asthma. I enjoy breathing. These things are incompatible without modern medicine.I have asthma. I enjoy breathing. These things are incompatible without modern medicine.
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Comment on One woman's controversial fight to make America accept drug users for who they are in ~health.mental
lexabear Link ParentSearch for "(your area name) harm reduction" and see what orgs are working in that area.Search for "(your area name) harm reduction" and see what orgs are working in that area.
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Comment on What 2023 Black Friday deals are you looking into? in ~talk
lexabear LinkI need a new GPU now that games are requiring dx12. I'm not sure exactly what one I want though; the field is a mess to get reacquainted with every few years when I upgrade. Something that can run...I need a new GPU now that games are requiring dx12. I'm not sure exactly what one I want though; the field is a mess to get reacquainted with every few years when I upgrade. Something that can run Talos Principle 2 and maybe Starfield.
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Comment on Semaglutide for weight loss in ~health
lexabear LinkI don't have any personal experience with it, but the podcast Maintenance Phase just had an episode about it that I thought gave a good overall perspective: https://www.maintenancephase.com/I don't have any personal experience with it, but the podcast Maintenance Phase just had an episode about it that I thought gave a good overall perspective: https://www.maintenancephase.com/
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Comment on D&D video game without mature content? in ~games
lexabear LinkIf seems like you may be using "adult content" to mean that you want to avoid only sex/nudity/objectification and not violence/gore. Is that correct? If so, have you seen Torment: Tides of...If seems like you may be using "adult content" to mean that you want to avoid only sex/nudity/objectification and not violence/gore. Is that correct?
If so, have you seen Torment: Tides of Numenera? It's based on a different tabletop RPG (Numenera) but is a "spiritual successor" to Planescape: Torment. By remembering it to recommend to you, I just made a note to myself to re-play it, because I really enjoyed my first playthrough a few years ago and have now forgotten enough of the details to enjoy a second and do a different character type/philosophy.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/272270/Torment_Tides_of_Numenera/
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Comment on It's spooky how fast Spirit Halloween stores pop up. Here's how the US retailer does it in ~life
lexabear Link ParentI also think "at the expense of" isn't the right wording. To me, that implies that Spirit had some part, even small, of causing the previous business to close. What I think the author must mean is...I also think "at the expense of" isn't the right wording. To me, that implies that Spirit had some part, even small, of causing the previous business to close.
What I think the author must mean is that they're only able to exist because the previous store closed and the space has been vacant long term. If the local economy was healthy and designed in a sustainable manner, those original businesses either wouldn't have closed, or another permanent business would have been able to come in and use the space.
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Comment on The most enjoyable character builds in Baldur’s Gate 3 in ~games
lexabear LinkI completed two playthroughs: Monk, Open Hand. Very solid even without min/maxing at all. Slap some of the elemental +damage items and it adds up quick. Trip attack and then wail on your prone...I completed two playthroughs:
- Monk, Open Hand. Very solid even without min/maxing at all. Slap some of the elemental +damage items and it adds up quick. Trip attack and then wail on your prone enemy.
- Ranger 5/Thief Rogue 7 dualling hand crossbows with Sharpshooter. A very popular build. Four attacks a turn, each at +10 damage from Sharpshooter. Toward the endgame, she had enough bonuses to attacks that she wasn't missing any shots due to the -5 to attack for sharpshooter except against extremely armored foes. Regularly doing 80-100+ damage a round.
- Wyll as sorlock is solid. Warlock 3/Sorc 9. I had him as wild magic sorc and Karlach as wild magic barbarian for some fun times.
I just started a third playthrough, all bard. Everyone is a bard. This is silly. Lae'zel can still use greatswords. Everything is silly.
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Comment on Los Angeles is exploring banning cashless businesses, following the example of New York City, Philadelphia, Massachusetts, Colorado, New Jersey, Rhode Island and Washington, DC in ~finance
lexabear Link ParentYes, businesses have costs. But we require a lot of these costs so that businesses include everyone in society. Renovations for ADA compliance cost a lot, too - but we require them so that less...Yes, businesses have costs. But we require a lot of these costs so that businesses include everyone in society. Renovations for ADA compliance cost a lot, too - but we require them so that less mobile people can use businesses. Accepting cash has a cost - but we should require it so that people without bank accounts or phones can use businesses.
All the comments about "cards/digital payment is convenient and I don't use cash" are irrelevant. As long as anybody uses cash, businesses should be required to take it.
This should be alongside access to bank accounts, so that un/underbanked people can use banks - which would also alleviate these costs.
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Comment on Futurama Season 8 Episode 1 discussion in ~tv
lexabear LinkI just finished watching it. The Hulu jokes got tiring quickly. Animatics did the same thing. It's probably in the reboot contracts that they have to acknowledge it somehow. Futurama did the same...I just finished watching it. The Hulu jokes got tiring quickly. Animatics did the same thing. It's probably in the reboot contracts that they have to acknowledge it somehow.
Futurama did the same sort of "haha we're rebooted" reference with the Comedy Central reboot but I thought it was much more in passing.
I always liked The Scary Door gag and liked The Scary Mirror update.
Overall the episode was amusing but not laugh out loud funny.
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Comment on An introduction to microtonal music (including a long list of recommendations) in ~music
lexabear LinkGreat post! I'm a big folk/world music fan and grew up listening to it, but am not particularly familiar with the music theory behind different traditions, so this explained a lot about why I like...Great post! I'm a big folk/world music fan and grew up listening to it, but am not particularly familiar with the music theory behind different traditions, so this explained a lot about why I like these 'weird' harmonies. It's very true that once you get used to them, they're just 'another way of doing music'.
Another great gamelan track is Kang Mandor by Ujang Suryana which I heard on the Putumayo compilation album Music from the Tea Lands.
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Comment on Nostalgia -- what programs do you miss? in ~tech
lexabear Link ParentMy 40-year-old brain also dedicates a precious neuron to remembering 15547907! What did I just walk over here to get? No idea. An arbitrary number on a defunct system? Locked in forever!My 40-year-old brain also dedicates a precious neuron to remembering 15547907! What did I just walk over here to get? No idea. An arbitrary number on a defunct system? Locked in forever!
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Comment on US federal civil rights lawsuit filed against Harvard, challenging legacy admissions preference in ~life
lexabear Link ParentPolicies can be racist even if they are not overtly, intentionally racist. If policies have disparate impact, they are racist: For instance, if I ran a restaurant, but only allowed entry to people...Policies can be racist even if they are not overtly, intentionally racist. If policies have disparate impact, they are racist:
The disparate impact regulations seek to ensure that programs accepting federal money are not administered in a way that perpetuates the repercussions of past discrimination. As the Supreme Court has explained, even benignly-motivated policies that appear neutral on their face may be traceable to the nation’s long history of invidious race discrimination in employment, education, housing, and many other areas.
For instance, if I ran a restaurant, but only allowed entry to people 5'8" tall or taller, that has a huge disparate impact on women. Yes, there are some women who are that tall, so they would be able to get in, and some men who aren't, so they wouldn't be - but most women fall under this rule. My intentions as the owner may or may not have been to specifically disallow women - but it's having that effect no matter my intent. The policy is facially not sex-discriminatory (I'm not saying "No women allowed") but it's discriminatory nonetheless.
The suit is arguing that the same is occurring with the policy of legacy admissions. Due to a long history of BIPOC not being allowed into higher ed, they are less likely to be a legacy. Any legacy-based advantage in admissions is much more likely to advantage a white person than a POC.
Thanks for waiting for ~2 weeks for it! I need to check Tildes more regularly.