thelilyandthemoon's recent activity

  1. Comment on Why did you select your username for Tildes? in ~tildes

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link
    I thought it sounded like a nice story. And now I’m writing the story, and it is, in fact, nice.

    I thought it sounded like a nice story. And now I’m writing the story, and it is, in fact, nice.

    6 votes

  2. Comment on Why did you select your username for Tildes? in ~tildes

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link Parent
    This is absolutely lovely. Rock on, my friend. Shiny forever!

    This is absolutely lovely. Rock on, my friend. Shiny forever!

    5 votes

  3. Comment on I have severe and persistent mental illness. I now work as a public mental health professional. Ask me anything. in ~health.mental

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link Parent
    Thanks so much for the thorough and helpful response! There’s a lot of this I hadn’t considered— or had thought about, but didn’t actually know. I appreciate your time and perspective on it,...

    Thanks so much for the thorough and helpful response! There’s a lot of this I hadn’t considered— or had thought about, but didn’t actually know. I appreciate your time and perspective on it, especially since my question was difficult and kind of vulnerable-feeling while having the potential to be “sticky” emotionally. Thanks again.

    1 vote

  4. Comment on New users: Ask your questions about Tildes here! (v2) in ~tildes

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link Parent
    Oh my gosh ok I’m still getting used to the sidebar. Thank you and sorry for the obvious-now-seeming question. Appreciate the prompt and helpful answer!

    Oh my gosh ok I’m still getting used to the sidebar. Thank you and sorry for the obvious-now-seeming question. Appreciate the prompt and helpful answer!

    6 votes

  5. Comment on New users: Ask your questions about Tildes here! (v2) in ~tildes

    thelilyandthemoon
    (edited )
    Link
    I am feeling stupid because I see references to direct messages, but can’t figure out how to do that (or if it’s a thing?). I wrote a reply to someone asking questions on a thread that was locked...

    I am feeling stupid because I see references to direct messages, but can’t figure out how to do that (or if it’s a thing?).

    I wrote a reply to someone asking questions on a thread that was locked by the time I tried to post. It is a good reply, and an (imo) insightful and respectful one, so I would like to send it to them. Is there a way to direct message people on tildes? If not, I guess I must have gotten confused— but I saw a reference to that in another thread. Thank you!

    7 votes

  6. Comment on What's something you want to understand the appeal of? in ~talk

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link Parent
    I want kids, and am actively trying. I am a millennial and have spent a lot of years with climate doom looming in the back of my head. So I hope I can speak to this even though I’m not a parent. A...

    I want kids, and am actively trying. I am a millennial and have spent a lot of years with climate doom looming in the back of my head. So I hope I can speak to this even though I’m not a parent.

    A lot of people think it’s selfish, about the bloodline or whatever. I’m an adopted child; for me it has nothing to do with preserving or furthering bloodlines, or anything like that. I just… look, human beings are not gonna stop having babies, and I honestly think I would be great at raising kids who can turn out to be great people. We need good people.

    And yeah, I have hope for the future. As much as things seem insane, is this really the time period where it seems the MOST insane? Honestly, probably not. My parents thought nuclear war was imminent when I was conceived. Industrial revolution kids were doomed to factories. Children before them had problems, as did children before them. There are always problems. And it seems to me that life is always a gift.

    It’s not that I don’t worry about environmental (or other) concerns— it’s that I know I have the capacity to teach my children to be brave and to be creative. And I know I can teach them, too, that life is a gift, even when everything feels like it’s going to shit.

    I also think, as an aside, that it’s a beautiful thing to bring a new person to the world. Based on the replies below, I’ll likely regret saying this.

    12 votes

  7. Comment on Hello fellow women in ~life.women

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link Parent
    Oh honey, you’re not behind. I’m 35 and sometimes I feel behind (I wanna have kids and it’s not happening super quick…), but someone told me once— imagine you were super old, on your deathbed, and...

    Oh honey, you’re not behind. I’m 35 and sometimes I feel behind (I wanna have kids and it’s not happening super quick…), but someone told me once— imagine you were super old, on your deathbed, and you had the chance to redo it all, all of it, starting at the age you are now. “God, I’d be THIRTY again?!” That’s what you’d think. It would be amazing.

    Treasure the moments. Work on the goals. Do everything the way you would if you were “doing your life over.” That is to say, the way you’d really do them.

    Also welcome to the 30s club. I was scared before, but it turns out I fucking love my 30s. It’s so fun to be sure of yourself.

    7 votes

  8. Comment on I have severe and persistent mental illness. I now work as a public mental health professional. Ask me anything. in ~health.mental

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link
    Hi! Thanks so much for opening this up. I’m very grateful to have a space like this to ask a real person a real question I have. I hope it is ok to ask this; it is a bit of a tough question. So I...

    Hi! Thanks so much for opening this up. I’m very grateful to have a space like this to ask a real person a real question I have. I hope it is ok to ask this; it is a bit of a tough question.

    So I have experience with, and have heard a lot about, the “pathology of psychology,” aka the idea that a lot of people who go into psych do so because they have their own mental illnesses or traumas, which can hinder healing, as well as do harm to others. That’s not to say that people with mental illness shouldn’t go into the field! They (we?) obviously know better than most how these things work. But I feel like it’s a valid concern that we end up with people who truly need help finding solace in attempting to help other people, perhaps to their (and others’) detriment. It’s certainly not impossible— Freud had a couple horrible (imo) ideas that seem informed by his own issues. I personally had awful experiences with therapists who had trauma of their own, and they justified my abuser. It was the worst. I am having difficulty believing in psychology and talk therapy as a helpful therapy at all.

    Can you speak to how the community addresses these evident problems and reacts to them? I would love to trust “the system,” but frankly, it has so far gone badly for me personally. (Fyi I’m also doing great now, but it was in spite of this supposed therapist and not because of him).

    Please please please understand how much I respect your personal journey. I am one-hundred-percent not doubting you or your abilities or intentions. I just am also a person with ptsd who would like to better understand my fellow human people, and especially those I want to be vulnerable with.

    Also wait I had to edit this comment to just express how proud I am of you! Fantastic, fantastic job. Well done, homie.

    4 votes

  9. Comment on Lonely people see the world differently, according to their brains in ~science

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link Parent
    The feeling that we are burning it all down for “profits” is one of the most discouraging I’ve experienced in my lifetime. It’s scary, and it just lives in the back of the mind. But I think it’s...

    The feeling that we are burning it all down for “profits” is one of the most discouraging I’ve experienced in my lifetime. It’s scary, and it just lives in the back of the mind. But I think it’s important to remember how many other factors (mainly us, actually) are in the way of that real and looming doomscape.

    Where I grew up, as a young adult, it was an absolute imperative to talk about politics. Where I live now, as an (actual) adult, it’s much more important to consider the human. My neighbors and I have vastly different political views, but we all want each other to succeed. And maybe it’s stupid optimism or an unfounded belief in human potential, but it seems to me that things have felt like a “panic button” was pushed and “things were crazy” for hundreds of years.

    This is not (at all) to say that your concerns are unfounded. But when did (I’ll stick with what I know best) quote-unquote Western Civilization start worrying aloud about overpopulation, for example? Flippin AGES ago (aka to my knowledge, Tertullian in the 2nd century CE). So.. what happened? Is it possible we have just been able to innovate out of it? Could we do it again? Truly, I am unsure. But I have become very much convinced that small things, local things, have their place in this supposedly global issue. And I have also been convinced that my role, small as it is, is simply to be what I wish to see. It’s aspirational, but that doesn’t mean it impossible. There’s a lot of us.

    4 votes

  10. Comment on Lonely people see the world differently, according to their brains in ~science

    thelilyandthemoon
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    I adore The Egg. I am not a lonely person, in general, but sometimes I feel like I am. It’s difficult to explain. I am very social. I probably have more close friends than average. I am married to...

    I adore The Egg. I am not a lonely person, in general, but sometimes I feel like I am. It’s difficult to explain. I am very social. I probably have more close friends than average. I am married to the love of my life. We are trying for children. We have good support networks and good friends. I cultivate plants, and I love them. I have mementos from childhood built into my art. But is there anyone like me? I am unsure. There is a bit of loneliness I can’t really shake, sometimes.

    And I am a person of faith, as it were. The story of The Egg doesn’t fit neatly in little categorical boxes into my faith, but it fits perfectly into the essence of it. Perfectly. And this lovely, small, fictional-hypothetical story tells so many stories at once. I’m impressed by it, and inspired. I’m glad to know someone else with a whole different life (of course, I guess, given the subject?) has found it valuable, as I have.

    2 votes

  11. Comment on Let's talk make-up! in ~life.style

    thelilyandthemoon
    (edited )
    Link
    I’ve legitimately never known how to figure out what my undertones are. I heard the “vein thing,” then I heard that the “vein thing” is a myth… I feel like I should be good at this because I make...

    I’ve legitimately never known how to figure out what my undertones are. I heard the “vein thing,” then I heard that the “vein thing” is a myth… I feel like I should be good at this because I make things and I work with color, but I don’t know how to “trace” my skin undertones, if that makes sense. Any advice is appreciated.

    11 votes

  12. Comment on Weeknight meal recommendations in ~food

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link
    I’m not sure what “kind” of neurodivergent you are, but as someone who likely has some undiagnosed something affecting my executive functioning, I used to be really intimidated by cooking. Now I...

    I’m not sure what “kind” of neurodivergent you are, but as someone who likely has some undiagnosed something affecting my executive functioning, I used to be really intimidated by cooking. Now I love it, and I improvise all the time. That might not be what happens for you, but I’m excited that you’re trying some new things!

    Personally, I like to cook slowly. I sometimes take a weekend day and just cook all day (while putting on a movie or doing a little gardening while water is boiling, etc.), make large portions, and then refrigerate or freeze it for the upcoming week. That saves me from finishing a tough day and not wanting to think about it, and just ordering takeout. So if timing your food (aka having the sauce ready when the pasta is hot, etc.) is tough for you, I recommend it!

    Some dishes I make regularly are (brace yourself; there’s a lot): chicken tikka masala, white sauce pasta with bacon and peas, fried rice with ginger, garlic, and egg (and any veggies I feel like), roasted vegetables, Mexican street corn salad, “marry me” chicken, roasted red pepper pasta, stuffed avocado or chayote squash, garlic butter green beans, my mom’s simple tuna pasta salad, stuffed mushrooms, and a pasta salad with olive oil, diced onions, olives, and cubed pepperoni and salami. I also make a lot of soups— tomato basil, carrot ginger, “green soup” (aka a bunch of veggies and squash and stuff all together), and jalapeño corn chowder.

    For summer foods, cool foods are great, but spicy food can also cool you down! Also some of the dishes I listed sound hard to make, but they’re really quite easy— they don’t require any special technique or knowledge, just ingredients and sometimes a bit of time.

    I know this is a lot, but just let me know if you’d like recipes for any of the dishes listed above. Most of them are made from recipes I found online and tweaked myself, and I’d be happy to pass them along.

    I think it’s great you’re expanding your cooking horizons! Good for you. Best of luck!

    1 vote

  13. Comment on What weird food combo did you not realise was weird? in ~food

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link Parent
    Can you elaborate on the ideal ratios for this dish? (And it’s just on a plate? Does it not slidey-ploosh around? Any and all details welcome is what I mean lol). I make some amazing salsas, but...

    Can you elaborate on the ideal ratios for this dish? (And it’s just on a plate? Does it not slidey-ploosh around? Any and all details welcome is what I mean lol). I make some amazing salsas, but if I don’t have time for all that, this sounds like something I could make for a good quick nacho snack.

  14. Comment on What is something that had far more variety than you expected once you looked into it? in ~talk

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link Parent
    Wow, I’ve been getting into leather work lately, and this is so helpful! It is confusing (at least to me, who is very much a newbie). If I’m reading about different treatments, the description...

    Wow, I’ve been getting into leather work lately, and this is so helpful! It is confusing (at least to me, who is very much a newbie). If I’m reading about different treatments, the description will say something like “medium water protection,” which is vague. Or if I’m watching a video— which is rare as I kind of detest videos, but I will bite the bullet for the sake of knowledge— the person will say, “And then we add X, which keeps out all the bad stuff.” But what is the bad stuff? Is water bad? What does X actually do? Etc.

    So I appreciate your comment and am bookmarking it for reference. Thanks.

    Also wait a minute! You’re the person who just welcomed me to Tildes a moment ago! How funny; I know it’s a small world over here, but that’s crazy.

    3 votes

  15. Comment on What is "that part" for you in any game? in ~games

    thelilyandthemoon
    Link
    You guys are gonna think this is ridiculous, but every time I replay LoZ Ocarina of Time, remembering the Shadow Temple gives me pause. And then when I get to that part, I procrastinate like all...

    You guys are gonna think this is ridiculous, but every time I replay LoZ Ocarina of Time, remembering the Shadow Temple gives me pause. And then when I get to that part, I procrastinate like all get-out. Pretty sure my current game has been saved at that spot for about 6 months now. And I have no shame: I will totally use a guide to get through it— because I don’t like it, I’m not having fun, I don’t care about figuring it out myself; I just want to get it over with.

    The first time I played that game, I was probably 10 or 11, and it was scary! I’ve never recovered haha.

    And this is actually my first comment ever on Tildes, so now the only thing you all know about me is that I’m scared of a children’s game. Also hello everyone!

    24 votes