If you’ve ever put anything inside yourself and gotten it out again without needing medical attention: Congratulations! Things went way better for you than they did for so many other poor souls. This is a tribute to American ingenuity, American perseverance, and above all else, American recklessness.
All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and always remember that a flared base is your best friend.
As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south...
I have a collection of things my kid shoved up a nostril and that he couldn't get out again. There is something inherently funny about things that get stuck up an orifice.
I have a collection of things my kid shoved up a nostril and that he couldn't get out again. There is something inherently funny about things that get stuck up an orifice.
I really hope the one where the girlfriend supposedly inserted the vibrator into his ass while he was asleep was just an excuse because he didn't want to admit he did it himself, or if true that...
I really hope the one where the girlfriend supposedly inserted the vibrator into his ass while he was asleep was just an excuse because he didn't want to admit he did it himself, or if true that she had prior consent... Because if not, that's rape. :(
I remember reading in the past year about some adventurous or possibly nostalgic pensioner who turned up in hospital with an "artillery shell" lodged in his arse. Of course it turned out just to...
I remember reading in the past year about some adventurous or possibly nostalgic pensioner who turned up in hospital with an "artillery shell" lodged in his arse. Of course it turned out just to be a mortar shell, but the rags have to sell copies. Still, technically correct, and at least they didn't misidentify it as a tank shell, haha whoops vicar where's me trousers.
Here's the story, local to me, it was a big deal. https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/bomb-squad-called-gloucestershire-royal-6298076
While we've got an offtopic thread open, I'd like to admit I watched this thread when it was first posted, and I was wondering how long it'd be before someone, probably @mycketforvirrad tagged...
While we've got an offtopic thread open, I'd like to admit I watched this thread when it was first posted, and I was wondering how long it'd be before someone, probably @mycketforvirrad tagged this with "rectums".
I pondered for a long while what's the most accessible and most hierarchically (and perhaps medically) correct tag to apply, and I considered tagging this with "anuses", "colons", "buttholes", "buttholes.insertion.objects", "buttholes.insertion.objects.sexual", "buttholes.insertion.objects.nonsexual", "buttholes.insertion.objects.ambiguous", etc, and had a solid and very immature giggling session that I quite enjoyed.
Sure enough, @mycketforvirrad, true to form, tagged this thread with "rectums" an hour and a half or so later. I'm joking around here about the silliness of tags, but I really do appreciate your work, mycketforvirrad.
Offer-topic: There's no way to link to tags in a comment, is there? Like we can link to users with @ or /u/, or we can link to groups with ~, but I don't think there's any way to link to like, #rectums, or ~health#rectums, is there?
I have a collection of things my kid shoved up a nostril and that he couldn't get out again. There is something inherently funny about things that get stuck up an orifice.
I love some of the sequences:
Amusing number of people claiming to fall on top of something or it accidentally ended up inside them.
I really hope the one where the girlfriend supposedly inserted the vibrator into his ass while he was asleep was just an excuse because he didn't want to admit he did it himself, or if true that she had prior consent... Because if not, that's rape. :(
I remember reading in the past year about some adventurous or possibly nostalgic pensioner who turned up in hospital with an "artillery shell" lodged in his arse. Of course it turned out just to be a mortar shell, but the rags have to sell copies. Still, technically correct, and at least they didn't misidentify it as a tank shell, haha whoops vicar where's me trousers.
Here's the story, local to me, it was a big deal. https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/bomb-squad-called-gloucestershire-royal-6298076
Well that's a title.
While we've got an offtopic thread open, I'd like to admit I watched this thread when it was first posted, and I was wondering how long it'd be before someone, probably @mycketforvirrad tagged this with "rectums".
I pondered for a long while what's the most accessible and most hierarchically (and perhaps medically) correct tag to apply, and I considered tagging this with "anuses", "colons", "buttholes", "buttholes.insertion.objects", "buttholes.insertion.objects.sexual", "buttholes.insertion.objects.nonsexual", "buttholes.insertion.objects.ambiguous", etc, and had a solid and very immature giggling session that I quite enjoyed.
Sure enough, @mycketforvirrad, true to form, tagged this thread with "rectums" an hour and a half or so later. I'm joking around here about the silliness of tags, but I really do appreciate your work, mycketforvirrad.
Offer-topic: There's no way to link to tags in a comment, is there? Like we can link to users with @ or /u/, or we can link to groups with ~, but I don't think there's any way to link to like,
#rectums, or~health#rectums, is there?I do love a good tag! Happy to help sort the
arseholes1 from thevaginas2.Alt.bios is exactly the sort of newsgroup that would have caught a lot of people off guard back in the day.