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How do you deal with stress and anxiety in a healthy way?
I'll preface this by saying that I'm a high school student, so obviously I can't be facing any real stress, but it seems real enough to me, anyway. My strategy is usually just to bury it in entertainment, but I see a lot of the people around me turning to using substances like nicotine, weed, or alcohol.
I don't think any of these are really good options, so I'd like to hear what you guys do.
Stress is stress regardless of where in life you are, don't label yours as not real. Exercising is the best thing you can do. I go for walks when I'm feeling stressed. Put on a podcast and go wonder around, helps me get my mind off work.
I second going outside for times when you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Whenever I realize that I need some time to unwind, I just go outside for a quick walk around the block or hop on my bike and go down a trail near my house. Helps you to relax a little when you are focused less on life-sized problems and more on simply moving your feet.
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
---The peace of wild things, Wendell Berry
Completely agree, exercising is absolutely the way to go. It doesn't have to be incredibly intense either, it just has to be a break from what's stressing you out, and ideally in a different environment. If you're going crazy over homework, don't do a bunch of push-ups in your room, go get some air! It's not just the physical aspect of it that's important, it's also the change of scenery.
This varies from person to person, but I actually tend not to put on anything to listen to while I'm walking. The music can give me a certain rush that I can't get otherwise, but more often than not, the emotion I'm really searching for when I'm stressed isn't exactly represented in any of the music I have available to me. Or maybe it might be captured in a single song, but once that piece is over, then I'm back to feeling a little bit frustrated because of my inability to match my music to my mood. So it's not really a net gain for me.
Personally I've found that the solution here is to walk or run in silence. Oftentimes this lets me think more deeply—I let my mind wander as well as my body, appreciating my movement and my surroundings and whatever strange ideas pop into my head about the world. I can get into a rhythm really easily, just the beat of my feet hitting in the ground is enough, and if I'm feeling musical I might hum/whistle/breathe a melody that fits my pace (usually one I make up on the spot). If I feel as though I want to get excited, I can increase my pace and then the tune that comes to mind is naturally a faster/more upbeat one, and my mood improves accordingly. Compare this to listening to a preselected playlist, where the tempo of the pieces in the list determine my speed (I subconsciously adjust to stay in pace with it). In this case, I'm not in control of my thoughts; rather, the music is controlling me. And I don't like that. I do everything in my power to ensure that I'm doing what I want to do.
Stop that! You can't deal with stress if you don't think it's real. High school students go under a tremendous amount of stress! When I was a high school student myself, there were times when my stress got so extreme that it physically manifested in the form of hives.
The first step of dealing with stress is finding out what the stressors are. Is it your schoolwork? Is it your friends? Your family? It's something you will need to figure out for yourself.
The second and final step is to address the stressor. Are you late on an assignment? Ask for an extension, and make it a point to prevent this kind of thing from happening again. Is your friend being a jerk? Have them cut it out. Are your parents being unreasonable? Have a heart to heart. Just remember, your stressor hasn't been addressed until it's stopped stressing you out!
Of course, there are things that you can't control. You can minimize that stress by first acknowledging that you can't control it, then by trying to take it out of your mind. Video games are good for this, but a good book is even better. @caadse's recommendation to walk around also does wonders.
I’m sitting in a bar drinking a beer while waiting for some edibles to kick in, and it’s been 6 years since my last cigarette so take what I say with a grain of salt.
While I enjoy relaxing with substances, it does not help alleviate the stress and often only ends up making it worse once you gotta come back to reality. Exercise is really the best way to help alleviate stress. Not only does it allow you to burn energy, but depending on your activity choice it can help you clear your mind enough to find actual solutions or to learn to accept your situation for what it is. For me, getting out into nature on a hike or camping or to surf are the best ways to relieve stress. Nothing in the world can bring me peace like focusing on the rhythm of the waves or listening to the songs of birds in the woods while simultaneously being lost in thought, it’s almost meditation like.
I would add to the argument against using substances to deal with stress my own experiences with running out of weed. If you deal with stress by getting high, youre gonna have that extra stress plus your whole mental is whacked out and depleted and you still got what you were stressed about to deal with because instead of dealing with your shit you got blazed. And by you I of course mean me.
I overeat. (This is not healthy.)
In my experience, the underlying issue is a lack of autonomy and responsibility. Real stress comes from stuff you have no control over and don't care about suddenly threatening to buldozer over your life. Fortunately, this shouldn't be very frequent and you should be able to improve your chances by focusing on what you do have control over and being aware of your choices when they're not contributing towards what you really care about.
Hmm, I think taking on hobbies that allow me to pause, breath, and reflect and be introspective are the ways that I can think about stressful issues in different ways. The thing that has helped me the most in life with this would probably be getting into Tea, or perhaps, certain musical genres that can sometimes help me express my emotions inside without me having to say a word.
The important part is that I don't look to the substance (tea/music) to take away my stress, but that it helps guide me towards introspection and reflection to help me deal with it internally or decide on next steps externally. Slowing down is key.
There is no avoiding or changing high school.
But you can use your time now to find your zen outside of high school.
Stress is less about the degree of severity of a problem than it is about your ability to cope. You can are justifiably stressed by school if its kicking your ass and that's all matters. You don't have to qualify.
It's important to keep that in mind. If you're convinced that your feelings of stress aren't legitimate because there people who are worse off you will just feel bad for not being as good at coping or some such not legit thing.
Vidya and TV is a sedative just like pot and booze. I would not advise you rely on those as crutches at all.
When I deal with stress I try to go for the source. I am working too much and not spending times on things I think are fulfilling? (Note: entertainment != fulfilling) Then I'm gonna make some time to feel like a person. Sometimes the best way to deal with stress is to take a break from what is stressing you out.
That means you gotta reflect a little. You probably know what's fun better than what brings you joy or meaning in your life. But just aimlessly chasing entertainment and highs (from Xbox achievements or MDMA or gambling) is no way to live even if its a good distraction from time to time. If you imagine your stress level as a rapidly depleting battery, distractions like drugs and TV are just going to slow the depletion, they won't help you cope. They don't recharge your batteries.
A lot of people exercise but I personally think that this is boring and a waste of time. So my thing is I like to learn about the world and the people in it. I wouldn't call it a hobby but it's something substantive that I can do to enrich myself and I would encourage you to find the sorts of pursuits that do that for you. It gives me a nice break from whatever is dogging me. Plus this helps me put my life into perspective and learn from other's lives.
The best advice I can give you is be receptive to things that don't necessarily make you out to be cool and exciting. LIke I play the guitar and ride fixies and roll blunts and that's dope af obv but I also like geopolitics and scale model airplane. Be prepared to find yourself enjoying different things than your peers following the crowd. Be curious. Ask questions for yourself.