Atvelonis's recent activity
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Comment on Be careful about what you want (gifted link) in ~life
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Comment on Be careful about what you want (gifted link) in ~life
Atvelonis (edited )Link ParentWell, point taken, though that seems prematurely dismissive. We can avoid the politics! Because I posted this in ~life, not ~society, I was hoping for more expression of commenters’ lived...Well, point taken, though that seems prematurely dismissive. We can avoid the politics! Because I posted this in ~life, not ~society, I was hoping for more expression of commenters’ lived experience on that “low to moderate amount of ennui” you refer to, and other pertinent emotions.
How can you marshal ambition’s energies without being consumed by its insatiable demands? How do you live a driven life, seeking to achieve great things, without becoming a jerk?
To me, this article is not asking how well someone would be judged in the afterlife. It is also not asking how someone ought to live a simple, unobtrusive life. Rather, I see it as evaluating the possibly more difficult task of retaining humanity, interpersonal warmth, charitable measurement, and humility in a professional context that constantly undermines those values.
One might distinguish admirable but common personal achievement (like earning a degree) from pathways that sometimes make you doubt your ability to discern good and your own intentions—beyond questioning and into rumination. Brooks mentions Lincoln because his pursuit was the highest echelon of national politics, and because he apparently struggled to reconcile the opposing forces of simplicity and ambition during that quest. I think it’s useful (and interesting) to reflect on the experiences of people like this, and it doesn’t have to be worship.
Personally, I work in medical technology but devote much free time to what I hope is the betterment of society. (It is certainly not a presidential scale, but it visibly affects many people.) At the moment that tends to be the proliferation of arts & culture, as well as adult education, urban design, transportation and safety, and other more complicated and controversial matters touching on taxation and labor. It is quite easy to take on volunteer roles in causes that already feel good, not think too much on the morals, and leave unceremoniously when passion fades. It can feel comparatively uncomfortable to be in leadership positions that ensnare one’s attention more fully and which at least occasionally focus it toward the vitriol, avarice, and “hollowness” that abounds in the denizens of moral ambiguity who must be parleyed with to accomplish any reasonably impressive organizational mission.
At other times in my life, when I was more concerned with architectural and environmental aesthetics than the systems of municipal government, I may have reached the same conclusion as you—that all one has to do is “go nuts, don’t hurt anyone, and try to leave the place cleaner than you found it.” At those times, I was more privileged by distance from the worst conditions of refuse and exploitation, and I think my morals were just untested. In practice, while it is somewhat easy to do “net good” (in small absolute terms), I find that it is not easy to strictly “do no harm” in weightier politics—that idea is subjective. Even the most obviously good legislation may be opposed with such immense and earnest force that one questions one’s certainty in proposing it. One defensively falls back on scientific study and statistical data to overcome anecdotes—defenses abstracted from lived experience. And it is eventually tempting to detach from justification altogether and think only in partisan numbers: what algorithms must one execute and persuasive techniques employ to “get the votes.” When Brooks mentions “hollowness,” he’s referring to the absence of empathy that leads to this sort of worldview. (Overconfidence and technical elitism is a perilous field. My preference is to avoid that.)
Anyway, to your point on religion, I am thinking through this article and your remarks in both secular and spiritual terms, which one might interpret entirely secularly if they wish. The clearest and most reliable solution to moral quandaries and social awkwardness is, as you allude, to just “do your best, and worry less.” In the course of attempting that, I would still benefit from your and others’ experiences. I appreciate hearing personal stories and learning moments. I am seeking to train my own skill of discernment.
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Comment on Be careful about what you want (gifted link) in ~life
Atvelonis LinkBrooks’ piece offers commentary on the experience and utility of reconciling internal ambition and aspiration, the inverse motivations that inform them, and how to evaluate the fullness (or lack...Brooks’ piece offers commentary on the experience and utility of reconciling internal ambition and aspiration, the inverse motivations that inform them, and how to evaluate the fullness (or lack thereof) that emerges from their emotional preeminence.
Many of us habitually devise extraordinary dreams for the world: if only this or that, then things would be so much better. The source of those ideals is worth attention, and so too is the psychic “stew” in which we mediate their development—the daily society and directional life choices through which we apply our values with some fluctuating level of selectivity. The manners we employ to justify pursuit of our desires has interior consequences distinct from, and nominally irrelevant to, the end results. Yet neglecting self-reflection here might be a particularly fundamental error.
In my own spiritual discernment, I attempt to position my consciousness in a literally accepting way, listening rather than defining or explaining or justifying or dismissing. This is rarely successful in entirety simply because meditation is extremely difficult and one is easily distracted by the endless library of idle thought. But it is also difficult because one is often faced with worldly choices that conflict with one’s values, and more often because one remains enamored with one’s universal centrality. We know that we are not the Center, but nevertheless In American culture (and perhaps all cultures) we are subtly or unsubtly encouraged to forget that presumed objective Truth so that we may express absolute individuality and enforce radially outward hierarchy of deserts—at least a comfortable self-obsession very hard to abandon at the best of times, let alone under stressful conditions. So, in a spiritual sense, it is a constant and grueling challenge to earnestly pour cupfuls of love into everyone and everything, including ourselves and our own visions for change, when we are simultaneously dealing with a definitely self-dealing social, relational tendency of the mind.
I admit I live with some apprehension of being “hollowed out” by the drive to achieve. In practical matters, I tend to derive the most certainty in courses of action from utilitarian principles, through which it is easy to devise decision trees but also narrowly misjudge broad priorities; this is parallel to introspection, though, and like any wave function I think I go through more or less rigidity in my thinking at different points in the year and beyond. When I am fortunate, I experience the bliss of actual altruistic belief: true connection which exists for its own sake and persists because it is only natural to extend goodness infinitely. But that feeling is so unlike the mechanisms that society (of any number) uses to control general behavior. The world is full of evil and that evil is most often felt in the company of persons openly uninterested in grace, kindness, and healing. The disillusioning feeling we get after doing good and being insulted for it, or in seeing offensive personal qualities come to fore in our work’s beneficiaries, or after repeatedly failing despite all efforts while the less worthy succeed—that is a real and common affliction which burns our belief in human goodness and maybe our own faith. Some of my defense is simply to ignore the emotion and think of social work in only logical terms. Perhaps this is effective. But I think it leads me, personally, toward a condescending sort of detachment and an unpleasant personality which I would rather not inhabit.
I think we can learn to better live with this discomfort. It ought to be possible to strive for greatness and accomplishment and also maintain reasonable moral security in the knowledge that we actually have values and properly care to remind ourselves of them. I’m naturally tempted to search for shortcuts, ways of avoiding the effortful task of self-reflection, but there probably are none.
Curated desire, and continuous revelation, are perhaps the most trustworthy predictors of spiritual harmony for me.
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Be careful about what you want (gifted link)
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‘Humongous’ marmot crowned winner in inaugural Fat Marmot Week contest
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Comment on What's something that's more challenging for you than it is for others? in ~talk
Atvelonis (edited )Link ParentYour observation aligns with my own experience. I have classical training for the cello, which is my primary and stronger instrument. I prefer solo and chamber music but played in student...Your observation aligns with my own experience. I have classical training for the cello, which is my primary and stronger instrument. I prefer solo and chamber music but played in student orchestras into college. I’m an amateur; it’s not my career.
I do have some jazz background on the alto saxophone, but when I was younger I played in a concert band. Improvisation was a wall. I spent a couple years trying to figure out bebop improv, but I could certainly never come anywhere near Charlie Parker. I believe that doing it well requires either some natural tendencies toward instinct or whole-hearted, monomaniacal dedication to the craft. One can bluntly practice one’s way into proficiency without ever knowing the spark, but that’s different than having underlying acuity or the ability to rapidly evaluate novel musical situations. (When I say I can “sort of” play by ear, I mean I can figure it out, but it’s not natural.) I have fleeting moments of sharpness, awareness, and clarity, but these are too rare and momentary to reliably harness. I suspect I could unlock some latent potential through serious mental training; this is probably infeasible merely as a hobby.
Robert Gottlieb’s 1996 book Reading Jazz collects memoirs and stories of the greatest musicians of the genre in the 20th century, especially the less mainstream ones. There are many sad stories there. But you can sense the reverence they all have for true musical gifts; actual greatness. It’s fascinating.
I feel a comparatively intuitive sense for movement, so while I don’t often add flourishes to my dancing, I’m capable enough of graceful recovery when a set breaks down, which requires some of the same anticipatory skills as instrumental improvisation. To some extent this is all a matter of mental resiliency; a mindset affirming comfort in exploration rather than perfection—which ironically is what the classical tradition seeks—enables excellence.
Someday, hopefully while I can still dance, I’d like to pick up the fiddle and learn it for what it is, not just what’s written on a sheet.
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Comment on What's something that's more challenging for you than it is for others? in ~talk
Atvelonis (edited )LinkI’m not individually, uniquely good or bad at anything. Someone else is always in my tier. Relative to effort spent, though, I have one clear answer. Music theory is unreasonably difficult for me,...I’m not individually, uniquely good or bad at anything. Someone else is always in my tier. Relative to effort spent, though, I have one clear answer.
Music theory is unreasonably difficult for me, considering how many years I’ve studied it and how relevant music is to my life. It’s always been in the household. I’ve taken theory and history courses, personal lessons and group lessons, I can play multiple instruments (solo and in ensembles), I can sing fine, I can sightread, I can sort of play by ear, I can dance to a rhythm nicely, etc. That’s all well and good. I’m not even bad at engaging with music (it can be emotional for sure), and I understand theory in theory, but I can’t quite grasp intuition for the mechanics behind key signatures, time signatures, chords, harmonies, and so forth in a way that translates beautifully onto the instrument or into consistent discernment by ear. At best, I am just okay—despite all the hours of trying to be great. I have definitions for all of those terms; I can play through all of them in isolation; but there’s obviously a missing spark. I can play by feeling, or by intellect, but not both, which a real genius could. I can memorize but can’t improvise. (I’ve tried to learn that too. I can describe it, and I can bumble my way through an improv solo, but I don’t get it. I just get lucky.) Real talent shows itself for its spark; a harnessing of energy that can piece together all the disparate aspects of music into a single, unifying vision. I’ve witnessed a few musicians who possess that quality. I never will!
In any other subject, I’m fairly sure that with enough persistence I could eventually obtain mastery or at least confident competence. I have various widely applicable skills and an aptitude for variety. However, in music theory specifically I am inevitably a chasm away. (I still enjoy playing/listening, but it’s discouraging to have such an imposing upper bound. It’s also sad that I cannot experience that final layer of connection to sound.) I have no persuasive explanation for this shortcoming.
Synthesis comes naturally to me, but originality is more elusive. The creative impulse required to generate totally new ideas is a skill that has slowly left my mind since I was a child. I’m much better at seeing an outline of a known idea and iterating on it in an interesting way.
I often suppose I am less attuned to my own phenomenology than others, but I have no evidence.
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Comment on Ordinary Abundance in ~humanities
Atvelonis LinkA reminder of our extraordinary fortune to stand on the shoulders of scientific and philosophical giants; to bask in luxuries with such security that we consider them ordinary. And yet there...A reminder of our extraordinary fortune to stand on the shoulders of scientific and philosophical giants; to bask in luxuries with such security that we consider them ordinary. And yet there remains more to accomplish. Living with such material wealth, one wonders how best to share it with many in the world who lack most/all of these providences. One tries their best to support good causes at home and throughout the world, but not much is in our control, even in a life devoted to social welfare.
My takeaway for several years has been that it is better to live simply, and appreciate the history of what we have, so that we don’t become too distant from the Center of human experience. I enjoy my luxuries, but I like them more when I build them, or work with them, or understand them; I think this might help us emulate the feeling of awe that many of these quotations offer.
What is more joyful than rapt enjoyment of a simple pleasure? The cat playing with a piece of metal and cork, the child and a spout of water, myself and my crossword puzzle? I’m not sure that modern luxuries—heated leather car seats, second living rooms, infinitely exotic dinners—are really so elegant if they accustom us to lifestyles that enforce a negative view on anything fundamental. Or if they separate us from the people we would otherwise be communing with.
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Comment on Vermont's largest energy source is now a virtual power plant in ~enviro
Atvelonis Link ParentIn the meantime, we maintain oil and gas refineries with worse continuing air pollution and chemical runoff concern. Benzene, toluene, ethyl benzene, and mixed xylenes, and n-hexane cause cancer...In the meantime, we maintain oil and gas refineries with worse continuing air pollution and chemical runoff concern. Benzene, toluene, ethyl benzene, and mixed xylenes, and n-hexane cause cancer and birth defects, not to mention the natural disasters from global warming.
I get the local concern, especially the dread of paperwork, but this seems like a cognitive bias.
One awaits the proliferation of an inexpensive solid-state battery which has minimal propensity for fire. But one can wait indefinitely for the perfect chemistry. I have to wonder what the psychological threshold really is. Can any battery be good enough?
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Comment on In Australia, a home battery boom has helped cut wholesale power prices in half in ~enviro
Atvelonis Link ParentIndustry reporting suggests an 8% price drop of the battery packs themselves in 2025, to $108/kWh, part of a steady downward trend. (This is presumably US data; it's compared to China's 13% drop...Industry reporting suggests an 8% price drop of the battery packs themselves in 2025, to $108/kWh, part of a steady downward trend. (This is presumably US data; it's compared to China's 13% drop to $84/kWh.)
I'm seeing a general price decline in per-watt quotes through at least 2021, but that trend may have somewhat reversed by 2023, possibly due to high demand. In 2024, prices apparently dropped, but rose slightly in 2025. National interest rates seem to have some effect too. The quotes I see online induce some skepticism: that there can be a $13k difference between battery packs of nearly equal size seems implausible; state-to-state, the price per kilowatt-hour supposedly differs by as much as $900+. The page offers various explanations.
But I found additional reporting that US residential batteries were installed in record numbers this year. Even if installation cost is flat, perhaps the relative cost savings are increasing due to high electricity prices.
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Comment on (book impressions) Mudgirls Manifesto: Handbuilt Homes, Hand Crafted Lives in ~design
Atvelonis Link ParentIn conversing with planners and researchers of urban design, there arises a sense that the technical viability of a sustainable, less paving-forward transportation system is already discovered,...In conversing with planners and researchers of urban design, there arises a sense that the technical viability of a sustainable, less paving-forward transportation system is already discovered, just not implemented; and that matters of social psychology and political philosophy are comparatively underdeveloped.
I think you’re right that further, dramatic improvements are possible.
Anyway, it’s interesting to consider what the right balance is between efficient, conservation-informed land use and everyday exposure to “nature.” We could probably stand to disincentivize certain destructive and inefficient development patterns, nicely encouraging people away from some suburbs so that at least a handful of the old forests and prairies can return. Maybe we can even manage to support a few more critters in the big cities too. With that said, maximal geographic ecological preservation (if we all lived exclusively in efficient cities) might eventually seem like an opportunity cost to a political body that never interacts with the subject of the protection. Citizens for whom “nature” is a theoretical or ideological construct and not a lived experience would probably not restrain themselves from incrementally stripping away the environmental protections of their forebears because it would be convenient to have a little more space after all, and, well, we have nuclear fusion now and this whole global warming thing isn’t so bad. Maybe this relationship is cyclical, or maybe there’s an equilibrium. Either way, perhaps this quandary elevates the role of urban zoos and similar preserves, which are far from “natural” but perform an educational role that guides society in a direction of ecological respect.
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Comment on I'm starting a small business: any advice? in ~finance
Atvelonis (edited )Link ParentMy charity uses a registered agent. It’s safe and not expensive. However, registered agents technically have a narrow scope: receiving documents from the Secretary of State and other legal process...My charity uses a registered agent. It’s safe and not expensive. However, registered agents technically have a narrow scope: receiving documents from the Secretary of State and other legal process serving. The agent may prohibit its address for use as a business address. Of course, small organizations have been known to ignore this; as long as they receive most/all mail digitally, the RA doesn’t notice.
There are various full-service compliance companies that will maintain a “virtual office” for your LLC and handle a majority of compliance tasks. These are convenient but pricey. (Some will let you pick and choose which services to offload vs. handle yourself.) In your case, a P.O. Box or CMRA address may suffice for paper mail. Financial accounts often request a “physical address where the majority of business activity occurs” as an identity verification/fraud prevention mechanism (KYC), which if you don’t have an office might end up being your personal address, but that information wouldn’t be public.
It’s quite a muddle. The business compliance industry really squeezes small-scale enterprises. I advise speaking to a transactional attorney familiar with business formation in your state. I’m sure the development corp you mention is a great resource.
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Supersonic trebuchet
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Comment on New passenger train linking Finland and Sweden has begun running – creates the first rail connection between northern Finland and southern Europe in nearly forty years in ~transport
Atvelonis Link ParentI imagine the most grateful beneficiaries of this service are locals traveling moderate distances between Finland and Sweden, who might otherwise go by car or ferry. Six transfers to Copenhagen is...I imagine the most grateful beneficiaries of this service are locals traveling moderate distances between Finland and Sweden, who might otherwise go by car or ferry. Six transfers to Copenhagen is indeed dissuasive. The connection to Southern Europe seems a fancy of a foreign newspaper and tourists.
I was curious what sort of Herculean effort it would take to construct a rail line across the sea to Tallinn or Stockholm, to replace what is now ferry service. I see that the Finnish government has studied the "Kvarken Fixed Connection" and in 2025 declared "technically feasible" a link between between Vaasa and Umeå. That seems an inconvenient place to spend 29 billion euros, being so far north, but then I am not Finnish.
Toward Stockholm, the alternative would be a corridor through Åland, which would apparently require a bridge of at least 38 km and piles about 100 meters deep, or a tunnel. This is in only mild excess of existing records, like the Hangzhou Bay Bridge at 36 km long, and the Padma Bridge with piles of 127 meters.
But from a cursory search, it seems like "FinEst" is more of a governmental priority than "SweFin" in terms of bridging seas. Their report (2018) identifies a technical tunnel concept assisted by a pair of artificial islands and piles reaching depths of 200+ meters; a cost of 13–20 billion euros. Evidently that concept has not progressed.
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Comment on “Hope is a method: If I do something about this situation, I might change it enough so that I can do something else about this situation.” -- Cory Doctorow in ~humanities
Atvelonis (edited )Link ParentIt might be reassuring to examine one's capacity in the context of one’s social/professional network, rather than as an individual. The article refers to normative evolution; small changes induce...It might be reassuring to examine one's capacity in the context of one’s social/professional network, rather than as an individual. The article refers to normative evolution; small changes induce great ones merely because we are wired to be social.
An example I’ve heard is the localized clustering of residential solar panels. Installing them on one’s house signals to every neighbor, every passerby that this norm is valued here. This is cultural, not necessarily intellectualized. People carry that feeling with them, consciously or not, and evaluate it alongside other axes (like those mentioned in the article) to make decisions about their own life. Graph theory suggests that venturing even a couple degrees into a social network activates an enormous number of nodes; digital social network analysis finds collections of billions of users separated by a maximum of around 4–6 nodes on average.
Clearing accumulated trash from the on-ramp will not eliminate all pollution. But doing it visibly, and inviting others to do it, contributes to a movement—perhaps a dozen neighbors thus mobilized will be empowered to work with the city council to improve upstream municipal waste management policies on a broader scale. (Conversely, inaction passively establishes the opposite norm.)
There is a tendency in modern culture to try to morally extricate ourselves from the world, but we live in an interconnected web and have more influence than we realize.
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Comment on Curing concrete - improving the carbon costs of an essential material (gifted link) in ~enviro
Atvelonis Link ParentEverything you’re saying sounds reasonable to me, but I don’t run a construction business or factory! The alternatives must have some underlying cost and/or supply chain factor dampening their...Everything you’re saying sounds reasonable to me, but I don’t run a construction business or factory!
There are robust, well tested alternatives! […] we did just fine…until concrete (as the article notes) became cost effective enough to replace it.
The alternatives must have some underlying cost and/or supply chain factor dampening their uptake—unless there’s a tremendous industry knowledge gap in the mix, which seems a watery proposition; or unless regulatory constraints make substitutes illegal, which is presumably only true for the most mountainous of structures, not sidewalk tiles or floors.
I believe you that many physical engineering challenges of concrete alternatives have been solved. I can accept the long-term view that society ought to pay the cost of more expensive, low-carbon material in a majority of circumstances to escape the externalities associated with concrete, which are higher in aggregate. (I could also accept the altruistic view that we should do so even if it’s a net loss on paper, for the purpose of saving an endangered fish or something else purely moral.) But I was convinced before I even opened the article. Policy hits a wall once a solution incurs short-term costs for the non-treehugging public constituency.
I would be interested to hear your perspective, as a person who knows more about this industry than me, on the particular substitute materials that are most likely on a fast-track to cost parity with concrete.
I’m also curious about holistic deployment. In the power sector, people rightly credit solar cell cost drops to much of the renewable boom, but industry analysts would have a lot to say about the buildout of financing infrastructure, establishing globally viable supply chains, and scaling up manufacturing capacity.
The article presents various ongoing initiatives to reduce emissions in the sector, but seems unconfident that they’ll become cost-competitive. It cites the concrete industry, who say that only carbon capture is an economically viable decarbonization accelerant.
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Comment on Better things are possible in ~talk
Atvelonis Link ParentEmber’s 2026 report allows me to be confidently optimistic about climate, when before I was just hopeful. The global energy transition is unstoppable. The forces informing renewable expansion are...Ember’s 2026 report allows me to be confidently optimistic about climate, when before I was just hopeful. The global energy transition is unstoppable. The forces informing renewable expansion are beyond any single government’s flailing attempts to prop up the fossil fuels of bygone eras. This is freeing, gleeful knowledge. Atlas’ shoulders no longer bear the dreadful weight of this particular impending global doom.
There are many outstanding concerns in society, but rapid global warming was one of only a handful accurately described as “existential” for humanity. Remaining engineering challenges in emissions are meaningful but of a comfortably achievable magnitude. Our trajectory is not only manageable but positive.
We can heal the world. I do not fear the future—at least not for this reason. It is a great joy.
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Comment on Ten US states pass balcony/plug-in solar legislation this year (three more expected soon) in ~enviro
Atvelonis (edited )Link ParentI just double-checked and the correct state might not be Illinois, which is what I had gathered from an initial search. Apparently the unions opposed the bill and it failed to pass the Senate....I just double-checked and the correct state might not be Illinois, which is what I had gathered from an initial search. Apparently the unions opposed the bill and it failed to pass the Senate.
This interactive map from Canary Media shows which states are advancing plug-in solar (as of July 2):
- Eight states have signed the bills into law (Colorado, Connecticut, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, Vermont, Virginia, Utah)
- Three states await the governor's signature (Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York)
- One state awaits introduction in the second chamber (California)
The missing state in the Third Act list is probably Massachusetts or New Jersey.
Balcony solar bills seem likely to pass in all those places. The map lists a few other states where the bill has been introduced during this legislative session (Delaware, Michigan, Missouri, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island; plus Washington DC) and various others where it has been deferred.
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Comment on Ten US states pass balcony/plug-in solar legislation this year (three more expected soon) in ~enviro
Atvelonis (edited )LinkI heard about Third Act on a recent podcast episode with Ezra Klein and Bill McKibben. It’s an organization for people aged 60+ to tangibly contribute to the environmental movement. Perhaps this...I heard about Third Act on a recent podcast episode with Ezra Klein and Bill McKibben. It’s an organization for people aged 60+ to tangibly contribute to the environmental movement.
Perhaps this age demographic has some of the best inclinations, skills, and professional networks to run effective campaigns about the “boring” side of climate policy, like navigating electricity transmission and solar permitting reform across tens of thousands of municipalities.
The article I linked talks about balcony solar. Apparently this technology has become popular in Europe already, but remained illegal in the United States until this year. It seems like the usual state progressive bloc is most open to reforms—though if that’s where most of the apartment-dwelling population lives anyway, maybe that’s the best place to start for once.
As of July 1, Maine, Virginia, Colorado, Maryland, Virginia [sic], New Hampshire, Connecticut, Vermont and New York have joined Utah in passing plug-in legislation. Three more states, Massachusetts, California, and Rhode Island — are advancing legislation likely to pass this year.
These states make up around 33% of the US population and include 40% of the people who live in apartment buildings. Paired with rooftop solar permitting reforms (one of Third Act’s other initiatives), their efforts will make it cheaper and easier for a lot of regular households to use solar energy. In addition to being good for the renewable energy transition and household budgets outright, this has downstream bureaucratic benefits, like reducing the pressure for additional transmission line buildout.
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Ten US states pass balcony/plug-in solar legislation this year (three more expected soon)
21 votes
I beg your pardon, then. The piece happens to pose some open philosophical questions applicable to my life—sometimes, even ridiculous people manage to articulate valuable thoughts.
The question above stands. You can pretend I devised it if you wish not to indulge the author. It’s an old idea anyway. Dozens of great novels contemplate how to achieve supposedly “great” things throughout a lifetime while remaining virtuous, and the perils of taking it too far. Melville in Moby-Dick describes a Captain Ahab overtaken by a desire for a twisted kind of supernatural fairness (revenge), which drowns the Pequod and nearly all aboard. Of course he is extreme, but his employers once thought him sane enough to steer a ship, and there were several discrete moments where reason gave way to mania, like Starbuck’s last-ditch appeal, ignored. The paradox also underlies popular culture: The Dark Knight famously posits that “You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” In pursuit of good, we become evil. Or rather, our evil is revealed?
You warn against the dark triad. All people suffer from some presence of these sinful traits, including me, and ambitious people may sometimes exaggerate them. But is not every emotion influenced by one’s environment? We can be led to do unpleasant things, and justify terrors; Arendt describes the banality of evil. Surely the reverse is true; some combination of will and habit can steer us toward virtuous action. Paarthurnax, in the 2011 work Skyrim, offers a surprisingly profound quotation:
I have read plenty of these novels and heard many of the pithy expressions that observe these recurrent human characteristics from century to century. I am looking for the actual experiences of the people on this website. If you are a visionary person, what salad bowl of motivations truly drives you? How do you balance those flavors against the basin of acrid inurement that defines the world of corporate dealing and electoral lobbying? Coming into contact with evil influences is all but inevitable when trying to unsettle the status quo. I am not asking you to advise me personally, necessarily, though you may. What has actually given you the wisdom to keep true course when sirens and whirlpools and monsters have tried to chip away at your rudder, and as you come into conflict with the people you love? This is not an easy strait to navigate, and the more ambitious the person, the more erratically I imagine them to be circulated in the sea of ethical ambiguity.
Hearing stories of people’s trials and tribulations is valuable because it centers their experience and their humanity. In appreciating more of these stories, I would hope to hone my discernment.