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Have any hobbies that are hard to admit?
I recently got into lock picking as a hobby. It's really fun and the community is very kind and open and supportive.
But it's a hobby I'm hesitant to share with others. There's a huge stigma with lockpicking and I feel I have to be careful who I tell. Do any of you have hobbies that you don't share with others?
Sure. I'm a 30-something woman whose main hobbies are Warhammer 40k and World of Warcraft. I talk about both games a bunch online, but in real life this stuff gets me some serious side eye.
My wife is into games like far cry, just cause, and GTA and is kind of embarrassed to admit it. It's sad that women get looked at this way just for being gamers.
Worse yet is the communities online. The sexism against female gamers in competitive games and MMOs is heartbreaking.
I'm curious in regard to 40K if it's just from people outside the community or also from those who play it? I used to play it a while ago and it was pretty much a men-only affair.
Mostly people outside the community. The local community has generally been accepting, although I do run into some weird or awkward behavior occasionally. Thankfully my SO plays too so I probably stay a bit more insulated from that than, say, women players relying on Facebook meet ups, etc., for games.
Do you read the books at all? The side eye is even better when you're reading a novel with one of those logos on it. They're great, though--maybe not Literature with a capital L that will be taught a century from now, but with the world building established they focus instead on retelling some of the best plots or weaving in plausible but surprising new ones. I highly recommend the Commissar Cain novels for Warhammer 40k. They're some of the funniest books I've ever read. Also how are you liking the new raid?
Ooh I just started reading the books recently. I've read Eisenhorn and Path of the Eldar so far. I was kind of mulling over what I want to read next, so great timing with that suggestion!
I'm going to be kinda late to the game raiding this expansion since I decided to switch mains a few days ago and now have to play catch up - but I'm looking forward to the new content.
Same age but I've found if you talk about it with a sense of pride and openness people are less weird about it. Like I explained 40k as a kind of mix of Risk and Magic the Gathering. If you're not ashamed of your hobbies and explain what kind of joy it gives you, people tend to be pretty cool.
This is definitely true under the right circumstances! But I'm trying to imagine explaining 40k to say, my coworkers, by using Risk and MtG as examples and it's making me laugh because I am 100% sure those terms mean nothing to them.
Dunno how it compares to lockpicking in terms of stigmas, but I'm usually not going to be the first person to bring up watching anime in a conversation. There's a demographic of anime fans that I don't really want to associate or be associated with.
This is me with video games. I play a fair amount, but you will never catch me admitting it to someone new without prompting. "Gamers" are the worst and I don't want the association.
I hear ya, no one in my real life knows I watch anime except my wife. It doesn't help the fact that even I find most of the popular stuff downright offensive.
I totally get that. SNL used to do a sketch about the stereotypical anime fan, and it shows that society certainly has a negative view associated with it.
When you say that the stigma around the drug community is undeserved are you talking about a specific drug type or all drugs in general? There are some people close to me that have had there lives ruined by drugs, so I think some of the stigma exists for a reason. Those addicted to drugs should be supported and encouraged and shouldn't bear any stigma, but should the drugs themselves be treated as acceptable? I ask these questions in sincerity, I would really like to hear your take on this.
Thank you for that well thought out and kind response. Full disclosure here: My wife worked as a substance abuse councillor at a Methadone/Suboxone clinic, so some may say I'm on the "opposite" side of the issue, though I don't think there should be opposites, just people working to understand each other.
It seems like at first you suggest that the stigma is largely responsible for the abuse (rather than recreational use) of drugs. But later you mention that alcohol is more dangerous, yet doesn't bear the same stigma. If alcohol lacks a stigma, but still causes such harm how can we say that drugs wouldn't also create harm even if destigmatized?
I don't think that people should ever be mistreated because they choose to use drugs. People struggling with addiction need help, and I mean real help. Not this "just stop, its easy" bull crap. I just don't think I can get behind making the use of certain drugs legal and acceptable when I see how it impacts the victims (the users and their families as well).
There are countries in the world where the drugs have been legalized and in many ways destigmatized, so we already have an answer to this question.
However, on a scholarly level, you can estimate the harm to society by looking at the behavior and cost per capita of people who are already using the drug. To them, the drug is already destigmatized. While it's not a perfect match to what happens in the real world, it gives you a good idea of the kind of behavior the drug often elicits. For example, drugs that are stimulants tend to promote a particular kind of behavior that drugs that are downers do not. You can, to a reasonable extent, predict what kind of illegal or harmful behavior people will commit while under the influence of a drug and whether they will commit illegal/harmful behavior to get more of the drug.
If you look at countries where the drug is legalized, it's usually accompanied by policy that does the following:
By combining these policy measures you reduce the instances of overdosing and harmful behavior (vandalism, assault, etc.) which reduces the harm these drugs cause. In addition, you're providing a huge amount of support to people who believe they have become addicted to the drug - this level of support is simply not available to people who are not wealthy in most countries.
If you look at the health outcomes in countries where drugs have been decriminalized you see that addiction goes down sharply, adverse drug reactions (OD from either too much of the drug or a tainted drug) are almost completely erased, and even drug use (as reported by questionnaire) goes down.
Interestingly you see very similar positive results for illegal activity as less people are committing crimes in order to buy/sell drugs, there's no longer worry of being robbed/killed when purchasing drugs, and crimes committed under the influence of drugs (important to note that this includes driving while under the influence of drugs, which is a huge problem) drop in incidence.
Though heroin may not be physically dangerous in pure form and safe dosages, my understanding is that it is both incredibly addictive and that users quickly develop tolerances that lead to unsafe dosages when trying to chase the original experience. In addition, I'd expect a built-up tolerance to diminish the enjoyment of everyday experiences since the naturally generated neurotransmitters involved are very weak in comparison to the drug experiences the user has adapted to.
Would you consider this a reasonably accurate understanding or am I way off base according to your perspective?
Not OP, but of a similar mindset.
We currently loop drugs like marijuana, psilocybin, ketamine, and LSD into the same buckets as heroin and crack when they are nothing alike. Some drugs do have more harmful effects on your body and are addictive. But there are others that really do help people. Everybody knows that weed can be helpful for some, but did you know psilocybin can help with therapy? Ketamine is an effective anti depressant treatment. Even MDMA (colloquially known as Molly or Ecstasy) is helping with treating PTSD!
When you say you 'take drugs', people assume you're selling your children's clothes to afford more meth.
Okay that makes more sense. Stuff like crack, heroine and meth really devastate lives. I mean, when was the last time you met a casual meth user? I have heard that some traditionally "bad" drugs have therapeutic uses when given in appropriate doses. If it really helps people with medical conditions then I hope that people can get over the stigma for the sake of people that need help.
Amen there. I've dipped into psychedelics and have quite a few experiences, but you have to ask the right probing questions and analyze responses before you can even hope to bring it up.
Selfishly speaking, I wish we had more people like you. That's an entire realm that I would like to explore but I am so uncomfortable and nervous about it. Most of it is my own mental state and how I perceive it to be a little on the fragile side lately. But still, we need this openness!
I wouldn't say I'm a drug nerd, but I've spent a lot of time researching the impacts of drugs (both on the individual and society) and how the facts support changes in policy (at least in my country). While I'm able to discuss this with my closest friends, it would just lead to suspicions with colleagues, acquaintances, family members, etc. That's really unfortunate too because we're in dire need of drug policy reform (as part of larger justice system reform).
I sometimes write music but for some reason it's not something I like to share at all (with people irl). Probably because like any creative work, it's deeply personally, and I'm nowhere near confident enough in it to share.
I have that problem too. I like drawing, but I could never do it in public. If I ever do, it’s only when I’m alone.
Not a bad idea, once I have something I'm proud of, maybe I'll do that. :)
I completely understand this. I love to write but I am far and away my largest critic. I don't mind telling people that I like to write. Sometimes I'll be writing on my phone in the middle of the bar because I can't let an idea go. Or I'll be watching a movie with my girlfriend, get an idea, and run upstairs to jot it down. But I do not like sharing it. I've shared my personal writings with two people, and even then only after a few weeks to think over what I wrote.
But I like what earlgreytea said! Release it anonymously. I plan to start a blog to release my short story (if I ever finish it) and then maybe post on Facebook for friends and family to see.
Same as you, I'm into lockpicking (I'm pretty shitty though for now). I'm also into pickpocketing (for magic tricks), wargames and CTFs (competitions for computer and network security, disassembler, etc.), and graffiti as well. At this point, you could say I'm looking for it and it's true, I really like finding art possibilities and artisans at the fringes of legality, respectability, and conscionableness.
I'm a cybersecurity minor as well. It seems there is a lot of overlap between the picking and hacking communities. Good luck on your PhD :)
Yeah it seems like many of the guys in the Cybersecurity department where I work are also into lock picking. I guess that gives me a socially acceptable reason to have it as a hobby then. I can claim it's part of my field of study haha.
All of my hobbies are hard to admit. I was taught as a kid that I should keep my interests to myself because nobody else cares, and that sort of training is hard to shake despite 20 years of adult life and occasional cognitive-behavioral therapy.
As a kid I was curious and I disassembled everything in sight. My dad hated it. In high school I started tinkering with computers and electronics and that was looked down upon as well. Now I'm about to graduate with a degree in Computer Science and I'm proud of what I do. If what you do is safe and brings you joy go for it. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, but you don't have to be ashamed either.
Also, its awesome that you got some therapy. It takes strength and courage to work at getting better and it shouldn't have the stigma that it does.
I'm not ashamed of what I do for fun. I'm just reticent about it because I "know" that nobody actually cares.
I recently started lifting weights but I'm in terrible shape from completely neglecting body for 15 years. I really don't want anyone to know. I'm embarassed that I'm such bad shape and I also just don't want to talk about it. Not interested in advice or supplements. I have all the help I need from youtube.
We all start somewhere. I'm glad you've started your journey.
I have a passing interest in photography. Not enough to buy my own DSLR, but enough that phone camera quality matters to me. But instead of photographing nature or portraits, I prefer light painting and nude pictures (more than just your standard dick pick). A good majority of the pictures I really enjoy were either taken at a rave or feature heavy nudity. Not good for showing family or casual friends.
Photography is another one of my hobbies (and a business as well). If your interested, you can get really nice analog (old school film) cameras pretty cheaply on ebay. They produce higher quality pictures than most phones and film is a lot of fun to shoot on, but of course this is some extra cost from buying and developing film. If you ever want more info on the topic shoot me a message. DSLRs have also come down in price over the last few years.
Hopefully you have a good developer left nearby, as well. A friend is a professional sports photographer and does a lot of prints. Our major camera stores have gone the way of Blockbuster. She has to get them developed either at Costco, where they get messed up on almost every run, or a local store that costs about 5 dollars a print and eats into her pricing like mad. Its awful.
Sounds like you might like the work of Robert Mapplethorpe. Fair warning, his stuff can be NSFW.
One of my hobbies is shooting firearms recreationally (target shooting at a range), and while Canada's history includes firearms and there is a strong culture around being outdoors, hunting and fishing, recent events and living in an urban centre mean I need to be careful letting people know that I own guns.
I do try and use those conversations as learning opportunities, as the majority of Canadians simply don't understand the laws and processes that are currently in place that govern all firearm owners in Canada.
I have hyperfixations and get, well, fixated on certain things for weeks at a time. Let's say an actor, band, or book. I research everything about that topic, even the obscure stuff.. I retain some of that knowledge, which is nice because I can bring it up later on and have people think I'm smart or something. I wish my hyperfixations were more school-y though :( haha
Oh man, me too. This is why my wife claims that I have a million hobbies. I'm trying really hard to stick with lock picking because I enjoy it and its pretty dynamic. I have had many other hobbies though. I usually end up coming back around to them eventually. At least you never get bored :)
Yes - I'm into RPGs and tabletop miniature games. Pretty weird in the finance community.
I also hate golf, which is also weird by those standards.
My cousin is an attorney and is also into RPGs. I don't think he has ever played golf at all. His wife is in marketing and plays too. Maybe its more common than we think and we are all just too afraid to admit it to each other.
Oh absolutely. One of my old gaming groups included a pair of brothers where one was a doctor and the other a lawyer. The issue is that you'd be unlikely to find another person at a given firm who was into the same sort of thing; by way of comparison, I used to work in tech, initially in video game development, and you could pretty much guarantee you'd encounter another person with similar interests on your team.
Underwater Hockey
Okay, I honestly thought that link would be to some joke or something. That. Was. Awesome! I can't even imagine the stamina that takes. Thanks for educating me on this cool sport.
Been playing since college, it has kept me in shape.
I used to do lockpicking. I lost my only two picks. I just never told anyone because I didn't want them to know. I like to comb through property record databases too and compare information to things.
What is a good starting place for someone that wants to get into lock picking?
Is there a kit of lock picks that you recommend, or a community or youtube channel you would recommend to someone that has never picked a lock before?
Tools:
There are a lot of great option on Amazon and Ebay for under $20 USD. Many come with a see-through acrylic lock to help you learn how the mechanics work. Really any of these kits are good for beginners. There is no point in spending a ton of money on nice picks that you will probably bend up while just starting out.
Community:
Reddit has a fantastic lock picking community. Very kind and open to beginners. They also have a list of locks and skill levels to help you advance you skills. The biggest rule is not to post pics of/ask for help with any locks that are in use (for obvious reasons). One of the best youtube channels out there is the LockPickingLawyer. He is right to the point and very informative.
Most kits that are under $20 are good for beginners. You'll want to get one that comes with an acrylic or cutaway lock (or buy one separately). Ideally it should have at least two different tension tools and four or five picks. something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Multi-Tool-Stainless-Hardware-Multitools-Training/dp/B07H43WTQX/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1537978865&sr=8-4&keywords=lock+pick+set
What lock is considered challenging (lets say for under $35)?
I just bought a pick set to unlock something, and the clear padlock they sent did not require any finesse at all.
I am not very experienced with lock picking yet, but I saw a video recently talking about the red masterlock LOTO lock. It has a plastic body and is overall terrible, but the core has like 6 security pins. That might be one to look at.
If you want the next step up I'd start with the master lock 140. It has 1-2 spool pins and is a great introduction to security pins. The Brinks 40mm is another great option.
If you want something more challenging I'd go with this. I haven't bought it yet but a fellow lock picker reviewed it on youtube and said they are great practise locks as they have multiple security features.
Reddit