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Queer joy - Share what makes you happy, proud or loved
Things suck but dammit it's pride, please share things that are bringing you joy right now! And if you need some joy yourself please come and fill your cup or ask for something you need so we can lift you up. 🏳️🌈
I'm happy that I inadvertently found other male bi friends. When we became friends, through online gaming, many years ago, I'm pretty sure we all just assumed everyone else was just a straight white male. As one does on the Internet. Plus the random straight white woman who'd show up on occasion. Usually someone's girlfriend or wife.
Then it was revealed we're not all white. I mean, I knew I wasn't white, obviously. But I figured that'd be the end of the "revelations." Didn't really expect to find LGBT friends online. I don't actively search out LGBT communities. I mean, I've had some gay friends in college, but I was just another "straight guy" back then.
There was one guy who joined us who was openly bi. But I personally kept quiet for a long time, until I felt comfortable saying it out loud. So now there were two. Then a few years later, a friend introduced another friend of his (now a coworker of mine) to the group. He seemed straight; divorced from a woman, always talking about dating women...until it was me, him, and someone else in comms one day, and he said, "So I've messing around with this guy...but keep that to yourselves...and anyway..." Wait what? Oh, OK cool! Our numbers grow!
And then about 2yrs ago, another guy -- who I had my suspicions about -- after getting into the dating game and dating women, just randomly exclaimed one day, "OMG, I've been talking to this guy for like 3 weeks and apparently he's already madly in love me; I like him but not like that, WTF!?" So then there were 4 of us.
Certainly our sexuality is not our defining feature. I think being a bunch of nerdy gamers is, lol. And we definitely raz each other like straight males ("I bet you like kissing boys!" "I do, what you gonna do about it?!"). But it is nice to have this little group of bi guys. Not everyone in the group is gay or bi; it's about 50/50 split with the straights. Which is perfect. Though maybe we'll have others join us or come out. Regardless, I'm happy about that.
Q U E E R M A G N E T I S M
I've got a particular friend group that's slowly become more and more out over like two decades. The little bits of support and visibility grow into the ability for everyone else to become more and more honest and comfortable about being ourselves.
That's all because of you!!
Man, the mixed-sexuality group is such a win. So many perspectives, so much care and acceptance -- the chosen family is a beautiful thing and it somehow makes me think about the musical RENT every single damn time.
Last year at this time it felt like people felt way more empowered to be dickheads about their negative relationship with pride. This year, everything feels... Normal? Any negative noise is getting drowned out, my company had a pride table giving out rainbow swag today on full display and I didn't hear any weird commentary on it, any negative chatter I hear about it on social media seems to more broadly attacking duplicitous corporations rather than people, and everything just seems to be a little less asshole this year. Not sure if this is everyone's experience rn, but it's making me feel a little better and more safe.
It feels like corporations/cities and such are mostly sticking with Pride here in IL, but I'm seeing a lot of harassment in the comments. The very queer friendly bakery getting flooded with "but what about red white and blue cookies" and every city agency post getting "sacred heart of Jesus month", "veterans month", "nuclear family month", etc. plus lots of "mentally ill" comments.
I appreciate that Pride seems to be able to go off without physical harassment but the digital stuff is really persistent still. So a mixed victory I think. I'm glad it's not universal though!
This year the local library has a giant display of LGBTQ books front-and-center by the entrance. Impossible to ignore. And while I live in California, I'm in the smallest, (relatively) reddest city in the county, so this is great to see. Last year was much more muted. The local hospital is flying a huge pride flag as well, which is the first time I can remember happening.
There's still plenty of assholes around, but I feel like the zeitgeist has finally decided it's time to fight back for real, and I'm here for it.
Music (and its videos) that are my vibe this pride
The Tonys just happened and while I didn't watch live they were delightfully queer from the clips I've seen
Jellicle Cats
If you didn't know or hadn't seen the Tonys, they revamped Cats! as Cats: the Jellicle Ball set in underground ballroom culture. It works amazingly from the vids I've seen and it's been a whole vibe
And I feel I must link to The Rocky Horror Show: Sweet Transvestite/Time Warp because Luke Evans looks like he's having an absolute blast (and really the whole cast). I didnt watch RHPS/RHS at a formative age and so I don't have the same love folks do and the edges of its age hit me a bit harder, but this cast seems really great.
And this is older, but Raise You Up/Just Be from Kinky Boots does the musical job of making me feel with a big finale number. This song makes me cry while I sing it just from having too many feelings.
And it's why I want to raise folks up this year.
(˘︶˘).｡*♡
Stronger than You (this video/song has mild spoilers for Stephen Universe)
Hanging out with my kids is one of my favourite things. They're a riot when they're not actively trying to destroy each other. I told them it's pride month so they have to be nice to me or it's homophobic. They've taken that as a challenge to be even meaner. Have kids, your ego will be impervious to everything.
A bit over a month ago my husband and I went on a cruise through Virgin Voyages which had a lot of gay people on it. Talking and meeting with them made us realize how insulated we were and how it was affecting us. Even though we both had eachother and we were happy in that, we realized we had a different kind of loneliness from living in a society in which people were tolerant and sympathetic, but not completely understanding of our life experience.
Since then we have actually found ourselves hanging with the wilder crowd. We’ve gone to bars, we’ve gone to clubs, we’ve gone to Palm Springs, we’ve gone to a circuit party… just about the only thing we haven’t done yet is an orgy. And through it all I am happy to say that it has made my relationship with my husband stronger than ever. It’s made both of us communicate in new ways and has triggered a tremendous wave of personal growth for both of us. For me personally it has made me much more confident, especially in terms of my body image, which is something I had been working on constantly for the past few years. My husband confided his fears of being broken for not making friends and now he’s facing that part of himself head-on.
I don't know if memory serves me right, but I feel like you're in the Bay area and if you're looking to the next logical step for exploring your wild side, I'd really encourage you and your husband to consider going to Burning Man. It's an absolute time and a great opportunity to thicken your bonds with new friends and the gay community.
Not exactly “my” win, but my sibling got gender-affirming surgery this week and I’m so happy for them, and proud of them. I know it’s been something they’d been considering for a long time and I’m sure it’s been a struggle.
Very happy for them.and for you as a supportive sib!
I don't really play Final Fantasy XIV anymore - but shout-out to all my fellow pans on there (at least on Aether and I imagine Crystal too, if not others!) and the many pride events and parades we've created marching through Mor Dhona, Thanalan, La Noscea, etc.
A lot of you Adventurers have helped me feel comfortable with who I am and I thank you for that. It's the little things and the inclusion and acceptance that really set it home and make me proud 🥲
I have to say the lgbt community on tildes seems so nice and supportive. Guess I could use a little of your joy myself, as I've just found out I'm bi a few days ago. I'm on the ace spectrum (demi might be accurate), so it's pretty rare for me to feel sexual attraction at all. For the first time the other night I felt attraction to a woman. I'm surprised that I feel ashamed about it, but maybe because I'm already in a long-term relationship with a man I love. Feeling a little weird about it right now, but trying to be joyful. I know it's not really anything to be ashamed of.
I'd say welcome to the fam, but you were already here as an ace person, so welcome.... Again!
I know you know, but I want to reassure you you've nothing to be ashamed of! Being bi and monogamous doesn't mean you're not bi, just like being a-spec isn't invalidated by occasionally engaging in sex, and you just went "ooh that person is attractive." You didn't cheat or anything.
You're valid! ( ◜‿◝ )♡
Aww, thank you. I will admit being ace it can hard to feel a part of the queer community. There's not much to talk about when I simply, feel nothing. I've always felt like I more probably qualified as an ally.
For the having a crush part, they usually go away after I ignore them long enough. But I will admit that I am worried to confess to my partner. I don't want him to feel he's not enough, especially because this new person is a coworker of his.
I understand, I think it's worth the conversation, especially if you can make it clear that it's not about him but a revelation in yourself. But you know him better than I do, so whether that is a conversation he (and you) are up for or not is more nuanced than my "general good idea" vibes
Eh, it's just kinda shitty timing. He's in the thick of some medical difficulties and is feeling pretty betrayed by his body at the moment. But I think I will bring it up at some point.
Understandable, I hope you get to share your joy soon
Glenn DeVar's "Country Drag" series is so fun to watch, quick make-up tutorials with a bunch of humor... and ✨ the accessories ✨
Glenn is a treasure, worth the watch even if you don't care about makeup. Instant pick-me-up.
He's such a good-looking guy out of makeup. Then he puts on the makeup and, most importantly, the accessories, and it's like "Wth, how is he even more good looking??"
I mean that's what makeup is for usually
True, but I guess it's that he pulls off the drag incredibly well. I've seen plenty of drag artists and while their make-up and everything is impressive, it's not usually hot. It's not attractive to me. But for Glen, it's like, "...Damn. He's on fire now!"
Part of it is that he's doing almost always doing "traditional" everyday makeup. Not drag make up (though I think he did one recently where he did do drag makeup).