Hey there đź‘‹ This one hit home hard so I'll answer. Please feel free to ask me and I'll elaborate on any point. First and foremost, please know that I and probably every other young professional...
Hey there đź‘‹
This one hit home hard so I'll answer. Please feel free to ask me and I'll elaborate on any point. First and foremost, please know that I and probably every other young professional who's been in your shoes empathizes with you.
So, let's get to it, I'm also 32 and what some people would consider a "high achiever" as yourself.
I turned 32 this year, and
Just mentioning it in the off-chance there's a bit of truth to it, but you have been under quite a bit of pressure. Turning thirty is considered by many a "turning point" and that can come with unrealistic expectations of having everything figured out and now being on the right track. That's not true, in my experience, most people didn't know who they were, what they wanted to become or what they would actually become at 20 and don't do at 30 either. No, they'll remain a bit clueless about that at 60 as well, there's no magic wand department at home Depot :). Cut yourself some slack and be kind, please.
I'm having serious reservations about where my career is going and
This is fine, and I'd argue even healthy, it means you're still alive inside and the corporate world hasn't eaten your guts and desire to explore, grow and enjoy your craft.
how to approach the rest of my life in general from this point forward.
I'd like to point out, that although we often do, you should not identify with your career. You are not your career, yes it can be or be turned into a big part of your life, but you are and can become much more. The rest of your life is comprised by where you'll live, who you'll be surrounded with. I was at this point one and a half years ago and decided to buy land and create a small eco-hotel near family (no self-promotion but I want you to be able to see what became of my awful, awful storm). I need such a place, and without those doubts you're having I wouldn't have! I can't tell you to enjoy the doubts or the storm, but let it remind you what you value ! Spoiler alert: what you value will change. I loved working on the small eco-hotel, but begining this year I got back into writing and nerding out out online. Finally, last week in a funny turn of events I founded with other volunteers an intergenerational Hackerspace where were teaching spanish-speaking people about tech: https://guayahack.co ! All of these projects, including my career, are me and have fulfilled me throughout the years, but non of them is all I am. Please remember that, allow yourself to change and remember that you're the sum of all the parts. If anything I'd tell you to try your best and live a life that inspires you ( I've yet to try my hand at documentaries !! ).
I've had a colorful career in the Entertainment industry, experiential, Graphic Design, and project management,
This is wonderful, because you can pivot, if you arrive at that conclusion, into areas which aren't directly related to the craft that burned you out.
but upon experiencing some extreme burnout over the past few years and a string of awful work experiences I think it's time to
A very important question about burnout though IMHO is why, why do you think you're burned out. Is it lack of meaningful work? Is it lack of value in the social interactions at work? Is it financial concerns? I'd suggest you try, pen and paper on hand, to identify your reasons for being burned out and develop a plan to address them. Many can often be addressed without pivoting your career but other aspects of your life.
ask for help and
Regarding coaches, I'd say, to put it mildly, that I'm very skeptical. I've only ever come across one coach I'd personally trust to actually have my best interest at heart and have the knowledge necessary to pursuit that ( myself ) Not your fam, not your friends and IMHO much less someone whose financial security depends on you not knowing what to do. Yes, they'll be able to probably provide some feedback, but it's likely that you reach unhelpful platitudes quite quickly with them. They're not in your industry, haven't "made it there" can probably understand you but not relate truly etc. Therapy seems like a good thing and surrounding yourself with peers willing to be there, help you experiment, guide you if you request, etc.. However, I must say I remain skeptical of the "job life coach" as I've seldom met one that has a life I'd consider inspiring or appealing.
new perspectives of
I just wrote a bunch of stuff, but hope you are able to draw some value from that verbiage. In case there's anything you want to know, my DMs are open and I'm not a life coach lol.
someone who can give me insight and a
Nevertheless, I'd like to warn you, although I know you'll be fine, that no one can probably give you insights, they can only at best help you look for it. It is you, however, who ultimately develops a better understanding of yourself, your values, principles, means, paths, desires and pick a destination.
Great write up and great points. I just want to second the idea of therapy as something that might help you work out these answers. I’m biased, being a therapist, but I talk about these issues...
Great write up and great points. I just want to second the idea of therapy as something that might help you work out these answers. I’m biased, being a therapist, but I talk about these issues with many of my clients.
If you want to stop that from happening in the future, then I would suggest making a more focused topic, by leaving out your personal situation from the topic text. If you want to include...
Doubly frustrating when I specifically say the following, and yet the entire discussion is about me and my situation.
I feel that the assumptions that are being made about me or my situation always seems to cloud up and detract from the question I asked which is what people's experiences with career coaches are
If you want to stop that from happening in the future, then I would suggest making a more focused topic, by leaving out your personal situation from the topic text. If you want to include something more personal, then make a separate comment for that, so the personal advice comments are all contained as replies.
By including both a general question and your personal situation in the topic text, you're sending a bit of a mixed message about what you want out of the topic. And it's honestly not surprising to me that people are focusing on the more personal aspect you included (in an attempt to help you), rather than the generic question.
You're being a bit unfair to everyone here, IMO. People probably weren't "ignoring" anything. They likely took in the whole of your post, which included a personal reason for you making the post,...
You're being a bit unfair to everyone here, IMO. People probably weren't "ignoring" anything. They likely took in the whole of your post, which included a personal reason for you making the post, and then just chose to focus on that particular aspect, since they felt they could more meaningfully contribute to that aspect in an attempt to help you.
Ah, that makes sense. I don't have ASD, but I know a few people (in RL and online) who do and they have mentioned encountering similar problems. I'm not really experienced enough with, or...
Ah, that makes sense. I don't have ASD, but I know a few people (in RL and online) who do and they have mentioned encountering similar problems.
I'm not really experienced enough with, or qualified to offer advice about the situation, but (just an idea)... perhaps instead of spending so much time/effort trying to craft things in a way that anticipates how people might respond to your inquiries, you could instead just try to change how you perceive their responses? In person this doesn't really apply, but at least online, a reply to you is not necessarily always directed specifically at you, or solely for your benefit. And even if a person giving you advice is operating on a false assumption about you, and giving advice under that assumption, their response may still help other people who that assumption actually is accurate for.
I dunno if that would help... and I'm just spitballing here. But I do sympathize with your situation, and I'm sorry it keeps happening, and making you so frustrated. :(
I think part of your frustration at the responses you are receiving here is that career coaches will take you down many of these same lines of enquiry initially. They - like some of your...
I think part of your frustration at the responses you are receiving here is that career coaches will take you down many of these same lines of enquiry initially.
They - like some of your responders here - will try to ascertain how much assistance you require, whether your problems lie purely with your career or are actually springing from some other aspect of your life, what your future goals are (and if you have the skills to identify and explore these), what your core competencies are, what your future desires are professionally and personally, etc etc
Career coaches generally need to get a great deal of more general information together about you specifically before they can begin to assist in constructing a course of action that will be beneficial for a particular individual.
They don't just leap in and tell you what to do regarding your next job.
Disclaimer - I have not used a career coach myself, but I have worked alongside them in the past.
Putting that aside for a moment... I get the very strong impression you already know what you want to do, and that is move away from southern california!
Do you like big cities? Why not try NY. Or soft grey skies? How about Seattle. Or maybe some other place you have travelled to?
Take a moment to think about what is calling to you, and how you can best integrate that into your life, and you may not need any kind of a career coach at all.
I think the therapy is already working as well as it can for you. I think therapy is only going to help you process emotions around feeling lost and helpless, not actually solve what you see as...
I think the therapy is already working as well as it can for you. I think therapy is only going to help you process emotions around feeling lost and helpless, not actually solve what you see as the root cause of the emotions.
I think jdsalaro's last few lines are the hardest to hear, but the most important. Nobody can tell you what you need to do. It's really hard to figure out what to do with your life because our society places so much emphasis on productivity that it's hard to explore what you like because monetization is always in the back of your mind.
In my opinion the most important thing to remember is that no matter where you are in your career, you are not locked in to any one path. There is a huge world outside of the job you currently do and the routine you currently follow. You don't have to take a leap right now, but if at any moment you choose to, you can step out of your bubble and explore.
I can share some of my experience in the coaching industry, but keep in mind that it’s just one person’s opinion. I’ve worked as a (niche business) coach, and I have several acquaintances who work...
I can share some of my experience in the coaching industry, but keep in mind that it’s just one person’s opinion. I’ve worked as a (niche business) coach, and I have several acquaintances who work in life coaching.
I believe life coaching is largely a waste of time. This may sound strange, given that I know several kind and well-intentioned people who work in that space. I like these folks on a personal level, but it’s my observation that most life coaches are essentially professional cheerleaders with limited expertise and a tendency to overestimate their skills.
Also, because life coaching has a blurry scope, life coaches sometimes do significant harm by acting as therapists without the training and mentoring mental health professionals need to do that work safely.
Bona fide career coaches do exist, and they focus on things like helping clients research different careers, write resumes, and prepare to interview. Coaching can be helpful for practical skills like that, or sharing recent trends in interviewing or industry changes. But as pseudo therapy or paid friendship - dealing with the emotional aspects of change - I’ve never seen coaching deliver what it promises. Working with a qualified therapist is often a better choice, or even talking things out with a trusted friend. Sometimes we need to sit with our big existential questions for a while, to give ourselves time and space to figure out who we are becoming.
You will find no shortage of upbeat coaches eager to help you work through your challenges for $150+ per hour. If you do decide to try it, don’t feel locked in, and don’t let the coaches’ enthusiasm or flattery suck your wallet dry. Are they offering you a pom-pom shake or something more?
May not be exactly what you had in mind by career coach, but I can say having an unbiased expert to talk to about career choices and pivots has been invaluable, personally - even if I've only talked to the guy for ~4 hours total over the span of a decade.
Unfortunately, I think the signal-to-noise will probably be pretty bad if you're explicitly searching for a "coach". Maybe see if you can find some hits for a "job placement advisor" or "career pivot consultant" or the like who specializes in whatever industry you want to stick with?
I don't have a lot of experience but I do know two people who are life coaches and based on these two people, who I know pretty well, I always just assumed it was a borderline scam. They are nice...
I don't have a lot of experience but I do know two people who are life coaches and based on these two people, who I know pretty well, I always just assumed it was a borderline scam.
They are nice people but there is definitely a, shall we say, over representation of qualifications. Knowing the intimate details of their lives makes me wonder what on earth they would have to offer people, other than an example of what not to do in life. I know that sounds harsh but believe me it is accurate.
Sometimes you just need an atta boy and and someone to commiserate with and I get that, but beyond being a paid friendly ear to call on, these people are not qualified academically or even aspirationally.
As someone who tried to look for a "career mentor" recently, tried a few options, and didn't really find the right fit... I agree with the other comments on this thread which are skeptical about...
As someone who tried to look for a "career mentor" recently, tried a few options, and didn't really find the right fit... I agree with the other comments on this thread which are skeptical about "coaching" in general.
There's this idealized notion of an amazing mentor, someone who can truly guide you and unlock things for you, but I think this person doesn't actually exist in reality. (Happy to be proven wrong!)
I love the idea that there's someone out there who can answer a lot of my questions about the path I'm on. But nobody knows my own path better than I do. Even if I try to follow in someone's footsteps, I cannot replicate their own unique journey, because they carved out their path in a different context. It doesn't mean I can't learn from others, I just have to be conscious about adapting lessons to my own context.
What's been more effective for me is "unbundling" the things I'm looking for from the "ideal mentor", and then look for these things separately, rather than trying to find them all in one person. It helps to be as specific as possible. For example:
Help me find leads for clients - I'll look for someone who can specifically do client referrals, or who keeps a directory listing of potential clients, or who works with people who can potentially be my clients
Critique my work - I'll look for someone who is good at constructive criticism (not everyone who's good at creating work is also good at critiquing work) and whose perspective is not exactly the same as mine (since I want a "second pair of eyes" that can see things I didn't see)
Teach me a specific skill - I'll look for someone who is good at the skill and who is also good at teaching (again, not everyone who's good at doing something is necessarily good at teaching it), and I'll be as specific as possible about what skill I want to learn, and what particular aspects of the skill I want to focus on
Some general "self-coaching" things I've been trying to keep in mind:
Regardless of how "junior" or "senior" you are, and you need to have some confidence in that.
Just because someone is more successful or experienced, doesn't mean that their advice is actually better for you in your particular situation.
Don't over-commit to any one version of yourself. It's normal to change, experiment, and evolve. It's normal for your interest and energy levels to fluctuate.
EDIT: I read one of your other comments on here and I think you already have a good list of specific things you'd want from a career coach:
Because what I'm looking for in a career coach, personally, is someone who can tell me where to specifically start with a career change. Not broad things, but like specifically what my resume should look like, what to expect out of a career path, where those careers could take me, and what trajectory to expect and positions to take where I can travel laterally within a career change. Not just that but make suggestions for a career that might be fulfilling but not something I've immediately thought of.
Maybe you could think of 1-3 industries you're interested in, and then look for an experienced person in each industry who's willing to talk with you and answer your questions about that industry. They don't necessarily have to be a "career coach", just someone who's experienced in that industry.
Just in case you're unable to find someone personally, there might even be existing interviews or talks on YouTube from industry veterans that talk about career paths in their specific industry.
The one “life coach” I know is my neighbor, who is nice enough but has shown a tendency to believe conspiracy theories… especially with regards to medicine. Since my wife and I both have...
The one “life coach” I know is my neighbor, who is nice enough but has shown a tendency to believe conspiracy theories… especially with regards to medicine. Since my wife and I both have professional degrees in the field, it makes me question the quality of her advice generally.
I wonder if it may be better to look for specific professionals to help with one aspect of your life that needs a tune up?
So reading your comments, I get the sense that this is about a possible job change. My two cents. Job hunting is hunting, or if you prefer a different metaphor foraging. You have to explore and...
So reading your comments, I get the sense that this is about a possible job change.
My two cents. Job hunting is hunting, or if you prefer a different metaphor foraging. You have to explore and see what you might find. One thing leads to another in unpredictable ways.
Job hunting skills like resume polishing and interviewing can and should be honed using targeted resources like books, youtube videos, professional help.
I have a contact who is a professional coach who specializes in architects. I think they have useful advice, partially because it is targeted to a field they know.
Changing regions of the country is a challenge because employers are going to want to see a local address. There are ways that that can be hacked but I haven't done it myself.
Choosing between good options is hard. Best of luck.
The cynic in me- mostly based on what I've read online from many different places- will tell you that "life coach" is a really fancy term for "Someone who can sell their bullshit about "improving...
The cynic in me- mostly based on what I've read online from many different places- will tell you that "life coach" is a really fancy term for "Someone who can sell their bullshit about "improving your life" REALLY well."
However, I do think there is a certain value they can offer. There are a lot of people out there who have self-doubt and may overthink certain situations, always wondering if they're going to mess something up catastrophically. Life coaches can be people who simply give you a nudge in the right direction, or otherwise are there to hold you accountable to certain actions.
I wouldn't quite call him a life coach, but I have met someone who at the very least calls himself a coach. His says he's not going to actually teach or tell you anything new, but instead he's there to monitor progress and make suggestions. And for what I had his help with, it turned out to be FANTASTIC.
As I was writing my own post, I was starting to think about how a lot of things between a therapist and life coach might overlap. Personally, I've never been to a therapist, so I'm really only...
As I was writing my own post, I was starting to think about how a lot of things between a therapist and life coach might overlap. Personally, I've never been to a therapist, so I'm really only saying this next part based of the advice I often see given to others about "You should absolutely see a therapist."
To me, a therapist is more like a mental health doctor: people have experienced something traumatic and need someone to help them find a way back to "being normal" (if you even want to use that kind of term). Basically, people see a therapist because they think something is "wrong" within themselves, whether this is truly the case or not.
Meanwhile, I'd argue a life coach is simply more for someone who needs some pushing in the right direction. Based on everything you've said so far, I don't think you're even looking for a life coach; it sounds more like you're after what some people call a "guru": someone who has a lot of expertise in a particular area, and is able to offer various insights.
Hey there đź‘‹
This one hit home hard so I'll answer. Please feel free to ask me and I'll elaborate on any point. First and foremost, please know that I and probably every other young professional who's been in your shoes empathizes with you.
So, let's get to it, I'm also 32 and what some people would consider a "high achiever" as yourself.
Just mentioning it in the off-chance there's a bit of truth to it, but you have been under quite a bit of pressure. Turning thirty is considered by many a "turning point" and that can come with unrealistic expectations of having everything figured out and now being on the right track. That's not true, in my experience, most people didn't know who they were, what they wanted to become or what they would actually become at 20 and don't do at 30 either. No, they'll remain a bit clueless about that at 60 as well, there's no magic wand department at home Depot :). Cut yourself some slack and be kind, please.
This is fine, and I'd argue even healthy, it means you're still alive inside and the corporate world hasn't eaten your guts and desire to explore, grow and enjoy your craft.
I'd like to point out, that although we often do, you should not identify with your career. You are not your career, yes it can be or be turned into a big part of your life, but you are and can become much more. The rest of your life is comprised by where you'll live, who you'll be surrounded with. I was at this point one and a half years ago and decided to buy land and create a small eco-hotel near family (no self-promotion but I want you to be able to see what became of my awful, awful storm). I need such a place, and without those doubts you're having I wouldn't have! I can't tell you to enjoy the doubts or the storm, but let it remind you what you value ! Spoiler alert: what you value will change. I loved working on the small eco-hotel, but begining this year I got back into writing and nerding out out online. Finally, last week in a funny turn of events I founded with other volunteers an intergenerational Hackerspace where were teaching spanish-speaking people about tech: https://guayahack.co ! All of these projects, including my career, are me and have fulfilled me throughout the years, but non of them is all I am. Please remember that, allow yourself to change and remember that you're the sum of all the parts. If anything I'd tell you to try your best and live a life that inspires you ( I've yet to try my hand at documentaries !! ).
This is wonderful, because you can pivot, if you arrive at that conclusion, into areas which aren't directly related to the craft that burned you out.
A very important question about burnout though IMHO is why, why do you think you're burned out. Is it lack of meaningful work? Is it lack of value in the social interactions at work? Is it financial concerns? I'd suggest you try, pen and paper on hand, to identify your reasons for being burned out and develop a plan to address them. Many can often be addressed without pivoting your career but other aspects of your life.
Regarding coaches, I'd say, to put it mildly, that I'm very skeptical. I've only ever come across one coach I'd personally trust to actually have my best interest at heart and have the knowledge necessary to pursuit that ( myself ) Not your fam, not your friends and IMHO much less someone whose financial security depends on you not knowing what to do. Yes, they'll be able to probably provide some feedback, but it's likely that you reach unhelpful platitudes quite quickly with them. They're not in your industry, haven't "made it there" can probably understand you but not relate truly etc. Therapy seems like a good thing and surrounding yourself with peers willing to be there, help you experiment, guide you if you request, etc.. However, I must say I remain skeptical of the "job life coach" as I've seldom met one that has a life I'd consider inspiring or appealing.
I just wrote a bunch of stuff, but hope you are able to draw some value from that verbiage. In case there's anything you want to know, my DMs are open and I'm not a life coach lol.
Nevertheless, I'd like to warn you, although I know you'll be fine, that no one can probably give you insights, they can only at best help you look for it. It is you, however, who ultimately develops a better understanding of yourself, your values, principles, means, paths, desires and pick a destination.
This, you must do yourself.
Good fucking luck!
Great write up and great points. I just want to second the idea of therapy as something that might help you work out these answers. I’m biased, being a therapist, but I talk about these issues with many of my clients.
If you want to stop that from happening in the future, then I would suggest making a more focused topic, by leaving out your personal situation from the topic text. If you want to include something more personal, then make a separate comment for that, so the personal advice comments are all contained as replies.
By including both a general question and your personal situation in the topic text, you're sending a bit of a mixed message about what you want out of the topic. And it's honestly not surprising to me that people are focusing on the more personal aspect you included (in an attempt to help you), rather than the generic question.
You're being a bit unfair to everyone here, IMO. People probably weren't "ignoring" anything. They likely took in the whole of your post, which included a personal reason for you making the post, and then just chose to focus on that particular aspect, since they felt they could more meaningfully contribute to that aspect in an attempt to help you.
Ah, that makes sense. I don't have ASD, but I know a few people (in RL and online) who do and they have mentioned encountering similar problems.
I'm not really experienced enough with, or qualified to offer advice about the situation, but (just an idea)... perhaps instead of spending so much time/effort trying to craft things in a way that anticipates how people might respond to your inquiries, you could instead just try to change how you perceive their responses? In person this doesn't really apply, but at least online, a reply to you is not necessarily always directed specifically at you, or solely for your benefit. And even if a person giving you advice is operating on a false assumption about you, and giving advice under that assumption, their response may still help other people who that assumption actually is accurate for.
I dunno if that would help... and I'm just spitballing here. But I do sympathize with your situation, and I'm sorry it keeps happening, and making you so frustrated. :(
My pleasure. I'm glad my idea could help you, even if only in some small way. :)
I think part of your frustration at the responses you are receiving here is that career coaches will take you down many of these same lines of enquiry initially.
They - like some of your responders here - will try to ascertain how much assistance you require, whether your problems lie purely with your career or are actually springing from some other aspect of your life, what your future goals are (and if you have the skills to identify and explore these), what your core competencies are, what your future desires are professionally and personally, etc etc
Career coaches generally need to get a great deal of more general information together about you specifically before they can begin to assist in constructing a course of action that will be beneficial for a particular individual.
They don't just leap in and tell you what to do regarding your next job.
Disclaimer - I have not used a career coach myself, but I have worked alongside them in the past.
Putting that aside for a moment... I get the very strong impression you already know what you want to do, and that is move away from southern california!
Do you like big cities? Why not try NY. Or soft grey skies? How about Seattle. Or maybe some other place you have travelled to?
Take a moment to think about what is calling to you, and how you can best integrate that into your life, and you may not need any kind of a career coach at all.
I think the therapy is already working as well as it can for you. I think therapy is only going to help you process emotions around feeling lost and helpless, not actually solve what you see as the root cause of the emotions.
I think jdsalaro's last few lines are the hardest to hear, but the most important. Nobody can tell you what you need to do. It's really hard to figure out what to do with your life because our society places so much emphasis on productivity that it's hard to explore what you like because monetization is always in the back of your mind.
In my opinion the most important thing to remember is that no matter where you are in your career, you are not locked in to any one path. There is a huge world outside of the job you currently do and the routine you currently follow. You don't have to take a leap right now, but if at any moment you choose to, you can step out of your bubble and explore.
I can share some of my experience in the coaching industry, but keep in mind that it’s just one person’s opinion. I’ve worked as a (niche business) coach, and I have several acquaintances who work in life coaching.
I believe life coaching is largely a waste of time. This may sound strange, given that I know several kind and well-intentioned people who work in that space. I like these folks on a personal level, but it’s my observation that most life coaches are essentially professional cheerleaders with limited expertise and a tendency to overestimate their skills.
Also, because life coaching has a blurry scope, life coaches sometimes do significant harm by acting as therapists without the training and mentoring mental health professionals need to do that work safely.
Bona fide career coaches do exist, and they focus on things like helping clients research different careers, write resumes, and prepare to interview. Coaching can be helpful for practical skills like that, or sharing recent trends in interviewing or industry changes. But as pseudo therapy or paid friendship - dealing with the emotional aspects of change - I’ve never seen coaching deliver what it promises. Working with a qualified therapist is often a better choice, or even talking things out with a trusted friend. Sometimes we need to sit with our big existential questions for a while, to give ourselves time and space to figure out who we are becoming.
You will find no shortage of upbeat coaches eager to help you work through your challenges for $150+ per hour. If you do decide to try it, don’t feel locked in, and don’t let the coaches’ enthusiasm or flattery suck your wallet dry. Are they offering you a pom-pom shake or something more?
Okay. Enough rambling. :)
I have a "résumé guy" (for lack of a better term) that I meet with for an hour or so every time I'm job hunting. He worked in tech recruiting for decades, and keeps his ear to the ground w.r.t. what titles are in demand, and how the clients he helps get hired like them.
May not be exactly what you had in mind by career coach, but I can say having an unbiased expert to talk to about career choices and pivots has been invaluable, personally - even if I've only talked to the guy for ~4 hours total over the span of a decade.
Unfortunately, I think the signal-to-noise will probably be pretty bad if you're explicitly searching for a "coach". Maybe see if you can find some hits for a "job placement advisor" or "career pivot consultant" or the like who specializes in whatever industry you want to stick with?
I don't have a lot of experience but I do know two people who are life coaches and based on these two people, who I know pretty well, I always just assumed it was a borderline scam.
They are nice people but there is definitely a, shall we say, over representation of qualifications. Knowing the intimate details of their lives makes me wonder what on earth they would have to offer people, other than an example of what not to do in life. I know that sounds harsh but believe me it is accurate.
Sometimes you just need an atta boy and and someone to commiserate with and I get that, but beyond being a paid friendly ear to call on, these people are not qualified academically or even aspirationally.
As someone who tried to look for a "career mentor" recently, tried a few options, and didn't really find the right fit... I agree with the other comments on this thread which are skeptical about "coaching" in general.
There's this idealized notion of an amazing mentor, someone who can truly guide you and unlock things for you, but I think this person doesn't actually exist in reality. (Happy to be proven wrong!)
I love the idea that there's someone out there who can answer a lot of my questions about the path I'm on. But nobody knows my own path better than I do. Even if I try to follow in someone's footsteps, I cannot replicate their own unique journey, because they carved out their path in a different context. It doesn't mean I can't learn from others, I just have to be conscious about adapting lessons to my own context.
What's been more effective for me is "unbundling" the things I'm looking for from the "ideal mentor", and then look for these things separately, rather than trying to find them all in one person. It helps to be as specific as possible. For example:
Some general "self-coaching" things I've been trying to keep in mind:
EDIT: I read one of your other comments on here and I think you already have a good list of specific things you'd want from a career coach:
Maybe you could think of 1-3 industries you're interested in, and then look for an experienced person in each industry who's willing to talk with you and answer your questions about that industry. They don't necessarily have to be a "career coach", just someone who's experienced in that industry.
Just in case you're unable to find someone personally, there might even be existing interviews or talks on YouTube from industry veterans that talk about career paths in their specific industry.
Good luck! :)
The one “life coach” I know is my neighbor, who is nice enough but has shown a tendency to believe conspiracy theories… especially with regards to medicine. Since my wife and I both have professional degrees in the field, it makes me question the quality of her advice generally.
I wonder if it may be better to look for specific professionals to help with one aspect of your life that needs a tune up?
So reading your comments, I get the sense that this is about a possible job change.
My two cents. Job hunting is hunting, or if you prefer a different metaphor foraging. You have to explore and see what you might find. One thing leads to another in unpredictable ways.
Job hunting skills like resume polishing and interviewing can and should be honed using targeted resources like books, youtube videos, professional help.
I have a contact who is a professional coach who specializes in architects. I think they have useful advice, partially because it is targeted to a field they know.
Changing regions of the country is a challenge because employers are going to want to see a local address. There are ways that that can be hacked but I haven't done it myself.
Choosing between good options is hard. Best of luck.
The cynic in me- mostly based on what I've read online from many different places- will tell you that "life coach" is a really fancy term for "Someone who can sell their bullshit about "improving your life" REALLY well."
However, I do think there is a certain value they can offer. There are a lot of people out there who have self-doubt and may overthink certain situations, always wondering if they're going to mess something up catastrophically. Life coaches can be people who simply give you a nudge in the right direction, or otherwise are there to hold you accountable to certain actions.
I wouldn't quite call him a life coach, but I have met someone who at the very least calls himself a coach. His says he's not going to actually teach or tell you anything new, but instead he's there to monitor progress and make suggestions. And for what I had his help with, it turned out to be FANTASTIC.
As I was writing my own post, I was starting to think about how a lot of things between a therapist and life coach might overlap. Personally, I've never been to a therapist, so I'm really only saying this next part based of the advice I often see given to others about "You should absolutely see a therapist."
To me, a therapist is more like a mental health doctor: people have experienced something traumatic and need someone to help them find a way back to "being normal" (if you even want to use that kind of term). Basically, people see a therapist because they think something is "wrong" within themselves, whether this is truly the case or not.
Meanwhile, I'd argue a life coach is simply more for someone who needs some pushing in the right direction. Based on everything you've said so far, I don't think you're even looking for a life coach; it sounds more like you're after what some people call a "guru": someone who has a lot of expertise in a particular area, and is able to offer various insights.