12 votes

Paternity leave: The hidden barriers keeping men at work

6 comments

  1. [5]
    archevel
    Link
    Taking paternity leave has a few little discussed upsides. It gives you some time to reflect on if the place of work is the right one or if it is time to change. It increases your understanding of...

    Taking paternity leave has a few little discussed upsides. It gives you some time to reflect on if the place of work is the right one or if it is time to change. It increases your understanding of your partner's situation (taking care of toddlers can be highly exhausting).

    There are downsides too. Missing out on pay raises since you can't show how you've contributed. Also lower income in case parental leave is only paying a percentage of your salary. Since men usually make more money than women it might make more sense, from an economic standpoint, that the lower earner stays home. This can also be excarebated if there is an upper cap to the payouts (eg 80% of your salary up to X amount of dollars).

    In general, if you're striving for some level of equality in household related work I think it is difficult to combine parenthood with a career. As a parent you will not be able to put in as much effort as if you are not a parent (possibly discounting if you've outsourced the household and child rearing to eg. nanies and servants). So you will have to make a choice in some way. Will you try to share the burdens of maintaining a household equally? Will one of you put their careers on hold (effectively not reaching as far as they might get have)? Somewhere in between?

    Personally I've taken out quite a bit of paternity leave and basically ignored the economic side of it. I've been able to do that since I have a privileged career where I haven't had to struggle economically and living in a country where taking paternity leave is more and more becoming the norm.

    The article raises a few concerns with regards to how taking paternity leave is perceived. In particular this passage seemed alien to me:

    In one survey of over 500 US fathers conducted at the end of May, about two-thirds of respondents admitted that there was an unspoken rule that men at their jobs should not take full paternity leave – and that taking as little as possible was “a badge of honour”.

    A b"adge of honour" for not doing something seems inane. Sure it is also weird that if a father take paternity leave he is lauded as some kind of equality paragon saint, but if a woman does it it is just expected. That double standard dies have the positive effect of boosting the likelihood of others following suit, but it is still a fairly glaaring double standard...

    Anyway, is the above common in your countries? Is it different in different types of jobs?

    10 votes
    1. [3]
      rogue_cricket
      Link Parent
      Like many folks here, I work in technology. I am a woman and currently the only woman on the software engineering side on a team of about 30+ men... with the other woman having been out on...

      Like many folks here, I work in technology. I am a woman and currently the only woman on the software engineering side on a team of about 30+ men... with the other woman having been out on baby-related leave for about a year. Haha. I'd say of my coworkers who have had children - we're mostly in the 25-35 age range so there's a lot of them - about 75% of the dads have taken some kind of extended leave after having a child but none so long as a year (although the mother in question is also living in a different country for the duration of her leave so there's some extra consideration there).

      I believe how it works in Canada on a base level is that there is a distinction between "maternity leave", which is for a person who is pregnant and is mostly for dealing with the biological, physical realities of late-stage pregnancy and labour and its after-effects. This is about two or three months. Then there is "parental leave", which is some amount of weeks split between the parents as they see fit.

      Interestingly, while looking up information about this, I found that in Quebec it's set up so that there's an extra 5 weeks specifically for dad (of course they can choose not to use them, although that means those weeks are lost - they are not transferable to the other partner). The stat is that 84% of fathers take at least those five weeks, whereas it's 11% in the rest of Canada. I think it's a great idea, and would love to see this implemented Canada-wide.

      10 votes
      1. streblo
        (edited )
        Link Parent
        That's a pretty neat idea, I didn't know that existed in Quebec. I would have definitely exercised that option if available. My partner opted to take our parental leave as it made the most sense...

        I believe how it works in Canada on a base level is that there is a distinction between "maternity leave", which is for a person who is pregnant and is mostly for dealing with the biological, physical realities of late-stage pregnancy and labour and its after-effects. This is about two or three months. Then there is "parental leave", which is some amount of weeks split between the parents as they see fit.

        Interestingly, while looking up information about this, I found that in Quebec it's set up so that there's an extra 5 weeks specifically for dad (of course they can choose not to use them, although that means those weeks are lost - they are not transferable to the other partner). The stat is that 84% of fathers take at least those five weeks, whereas it's 11% in the rest of Canada. I think it's a great idea, and would love to see this implemented Canada-

        That's a pretty neat idea, I didn't know that existed in Quebec. I would have definitely exercised that option if available.

        My partner opted to take our parental leave as it made the most sense for us. She's a teacher, so with some fortuitous timing she was able to append an extra summer to her maternity leave for a total of 14 months. The bulk of that was during the pandemic which certainly had some downsides but WFH has allowed me to be around during the day, lending a hand where I can and spending time with my daughter when I need a quick break which has been a huge boon. I am definitely going to try and be remote for my next kid as well.

        Sidenote: Any Americans want to chime in on dealing with such short maternity leave times? Is it all up to your employer? It seems insane to me that parents are returning to the workforce when their kids are only months old or just forgoing any income during that period.

        6 votes
      2. archevel
        Link Parent
        We have a similar system where there are some amount of days common between the parents. Then there are a certain amount of days reserved for each parent that are non-transferable. This is...

        Interestingly, while looking up information about this, I found that in Quebec it's set up so that there's an extra 5 weeks specifically for dad (of course they can choose not to use them, although that means those weeks are lost - they are not transferable to the other partner). The stat is that 84% of fathers take at least those five weeks, whereas it's 11% in the rest of Canada. I think it's a great idea, and would love to see this implemented Canada-wide.

        We have a similar system where there are some amount of days common between the parents. Then there are a certain amount of days reserved for each parent that are non-transferable. This is explicitly so as a means of increasing gender equality I believe.

        3 votes
    2. hamstergeddon
      Link Parent
      When I took my current job, the company didn't have parental leave (there may have been maternity leave of some sort, I'm unsure. Definitely not paternity leave). Then around the time I found out...

      When I took my current job, the company didn't have parental leave (there may have been maternity leave of some sort, I'm unsure. Definitely not paternity leave). Then around the time I found out we were having twins, we got a new COO who spearheaded implementing 100% paid paternity leave for a 5 weeks after you have a child.

      I don't know how my wife and I could've handled things without that time off. Our twins, like many other twins, were premies so we spent the first week in the hospital and then another week or so visiting the maternity ward until they were healthy enough to leave. Having to juggle that and work or having to worry about missing out of income while being off work is unimaginable to me. I would've had a breakdown or started working way too early if I were in that situation.

      But I was damn lucky/privileged to be at a company that took care of us in that way. I was able to be there for my wife and the kids while they were in the hospital and was able to dedicate all my time/energy/focus on them once we were all at home together. And I've always been lucky to work remote full-time (which went from super convenient to challenging as soon as the kids could walk and talk!).

      Anyway, I don't remember seeing much about parental or paternity leave in my job search that lead me to my current job, but I've seen it everywhere during recent searches for other jobs. It's all software engineering stuff, so that may be why. But I've definitely noticed an increase it that benefit being available over the last few years. Not sure what changed (in the US, btw).

      4 votes
  2. imperialismus
    Link
    Here in Norway, there is a roughly equal split between non-transferrable maternity leave, non-transferrable paternity leave, and transferrable parental leave. Mothers get 15 weeks of full pay or...

    Here in Norway, there is a roughly equal split between non-transferrable maternity leave, non-transferrable paternity leave, and transferrable parental leave. Mothers get 15 weeks of full pay or 19 weeks of 80% pay, with a stipulation that they must take six of those immediately after birth. That time is reserved for the birthing parent. Fathers (or non-birthing co-mother in the case of lesbian couples) get the same, also not transferrable to the other parent. Finally, there are 16/18 weeks of full/80% pay to be divided by the parents as they see fit.

    The latest statistics are that 71 percent of fathers take the full paternity leave reserved for fathers, and this is up from 60 percent in 2008. Clearly, the incentive this time and money is lost if the father doesn't take it works.

    10 votes