15 votes

Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like 2fa, citizenship.birthright and tiktok. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was unusually befuddled.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

17 comments

  1. [4]
    Queresote
    Link
    For anyone wanting more of this type of thing, I highly recommend AP News | Oddities You get wonderful articles such as "Elk on a shelf: Colorado wildlife officials rescue elk tangled in rope on...

    For anyone wanting more of this type of thing, I highly recommend AP News | Oddities

    You get wonderful articles such as "Elk on a shelf: Colorado wildlife officials rescue elk tangled in rope on ice climbing route"

    Here are some additional articles that have flown under the radar.:

    QM Labs successfully
    aquacultures the Moon
    Jellyfish (Aurelia aurita)

    Blue Bell is releasing Strawberry Poptart flavored ice cream: Blue Bell announces newest flavor Strawberry Toaster Pastry Ice Cream

    Local Mechanic gives tips for maintaining vehicles in extreme weather

    This last one is genuinely history-making, and I've rarely seen it mentioned outside small circles: Astronomers watch monster black hole spit out a light-year-long jet

    7 votes
    1. [2]
      fefellama
      Link Parent
      Clicked on link. First article I see: Italian soccer club Lazio fires falconer for posting photos of his penis implant That's uhh... Well... That's definitely not a headline you read every day.

      Clicked on link. First article I see:

      Italian soccer club Lazio fires falconer for posting photos of his penis implant

      That's uhh... Well... That's definitely not a headline you read every day.

      4 votes
      1. nukeman
        Link Parent
        Monkey noises from fans: fine A staff member showing off his prosthetic penis: not fine Ironclad logic

        Monkey noises from fans: fine

        A staff member showing off his prosthetic penis: not fine

        Ironclad logic

        2 votes
    2. jredd23
      Link Parent
      I don't got time to go through all but yea, that's my 1st stop every day to start my day with laughter.

      I don't got time to go through all but yea, that's my 1st stop every day to start my day with laughter.

      3 votes
  2. [7]
    Raspcoffee
    Link
    This week in the Netherlands, someone with a parachute accidentally landed in a zoo right with the monkeys. Quick Google Translate:

    This week in the Netherlands, someone with a parachute accidentally landed in a zoo right with the monkeys.

    Quick Google Translate:

    A parachutist accidentally landed in the monkey enclosure of Ouwehands Dierenpark in Rhenen this afternoon. No one was injured.

    The parachutist was supposed to land on the center spot of a neighboring football club, where a new artificial grass field was being put into use. For an unknown reason, that went wrong and the man ended up with his parachute in the bonobo enclosure.

    The monkeys were inside at the time of the landing. According to zoo director Robin de Lange, the parachutist was quite lucky. "100 meters further and he landed in the elephant or lion enclosure."

    The zoo is talking to the football club to prevent similar problems in the future. "It was really a shock," says De Lange. "This really must never happen again."

    The neighboring sports club was not available for comment.

    7 votes
    1. jredd23
      Link Parent
      It's all fun and games until someone starts monkeying around. If I was a monkey (insert your punch line here)! So does that mean, they are expecting this to happen again? Dutch people got to stop...

      It's all fun and games until someone starts monkeying around. If I was a monkey (insert your punch line here)!

      "This really must never happen again."

      So does that mean, they are expecting this to happen again? Dutch people got to stop with this monkey business.

      3 votes
    2. [5]
      CptBluebear
      Link Parent
      Lucky to have dropped into a monkey enclosure rather than a lion's den? Honestly, I'd take the lion over baboons any day. The lion is potentially chilling with a full belly, but the baboons will...

      Lucky to have dropped into a monkey enclosure rather than a lion's den? Honestly, I'd take the lion over baboons any day. The lion is potentially chilling with a full belly, but the baboons will fight you for sport.

      I'm aware Bonobos are more benign than baboons, but the general lackadaisical attitude in that response regarding monkeys is worrisome since even Bonobos can be rather vicious and aggressive.

      3 votes
      1. Raspcoffee
        Link Parent
        Not just that, they are basically big cats - so you can use the ultimate tactic against them: Cardboard boxes.

        Not just that, they are basically big cats - so you can use the ultimate tactic against them:

        Cardboard boxes.

        3 votes
      2. [3]
        DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        I'd take the bonobos only because "new thing that moves" is immediately interesting to most cats and having any number of lions interested in you is a bad day. Bonobo interest could turn into...

        I'd take the bonobos only because "new thing that moves" is immediately interesting to most cats and having any number of lions interested in you is a bad day. Bonobo interest could turn into aggression, especially if the males are prickly, but less guaranteed.

        2 votes
        1. [2]
          CptBluebear
          Link Parent
          Sure, Bonobos may not be an immediate break glass in case of parachute failure kind of situation but I would equate lucky with missing any enclosure and not just the lions. Not the monkeys, not...

          Sure, Bonobos may not be an immediate break glass in case of parachute failure kind of situation but I would equate lucky with missing any enclosure and not just the lions.

          Not the monkeys, not the lions or elephants, but also definitely not the polar bear exhibit that Ouwehands has.

          2 votes
          1. DefinitelyNotAFae
            Link Parent
            I was going to blame the zoo director but tbh it's not in quotes so I think the reporter is just trying to pad the story.

            I was going to blame the zoo director but tbh it's not in quotes so I think the reporter is just trying to pad the story.

            2 votes
  3. [4]
    patience_limited
    Link
    It turns out that cats are, in fact, liquid. Speaking of liquids, a 200 year old liquor bottle was found reused in a now-expected manner.
    7 votes
    1. jredd23
      Link Parent
      Evil spirits are all around me, thank god for science and urine.

      ...university has suggested it is a so called "witches bottle"

      Evil spirits are all around me, thank god for science and urine.

      3 votes
    2. fefellama
      Link Parent
      (I didn't know they had Amazon warehouses 200 years ago.) Jokes aside, I had never heard of a witches bottle before. Seems like an interesting subject. I wonder why they thought it would keep bad...

      Speaking of liquids, a 200 year old liquor bottle was found reused in a now-expected manner.

      (I didn't know they had Amazon warehouses 200 years ago.)

      Jokes aside, I had never heard of a witches bottle before. Seems like an interesting subject. I wonder why they thought it would keep bad spirits away. Down the rabbit hole I go...

      3 votes
  4. [2]
    mycketforvirrad
    Link
    Passenger clings to German high-speed train and survives BBC News – Robert Plummer – 17th January 2025

    Passenger clings to German high-speed train and survives

    A fare-dodging passenger on a German high-speed train ended up clinging to the outside when it pulled out of the station before he was ready to get on, police say.

    The man, a Hungarian national, told police he had left his luggage on the train during his cigarette break and did not want to be parted from it.

    BBC News – Robert Plummer – 17th January 2025

    6 votes
    1. jredd23
      Link Parent
      Wow. I've 'heard' of subway surfing in NYC but this is another level. It's the next Mission Impossible movie, The Munich Affair with a special guest, a Hungarian national.

      Wow. I've 'heard' of subway surfing in NYC but this is another level. It's the next Mission Impossible movie, The Munich Affair with a special guest, a Hungarian national.

      2 votes