Raspcoffee's recent activity
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Comment on HADES II Early Access has started in ~games
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Comment on HADES II Early Access has started in ~games
Raspcoffee LinkI don't think I've ever been so thorn about whether or not to buy a game in Early Access or not. On one hand, it means, by default, that it isn't finished. (and I don't have an issue with that in...I don't think I've ever been so thorn about whether or not to buy a game in Early Access or not.
On one hand, it means, by default, that it isn't finished. (and I don't have an issue with that in principle, it can be very useful for developers)
On the other hand... man it's the sequel of Hades of all things.
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Comment on At least thirty protesters arrested during pro-Palestinian protest at UT Austin in ~news
Raspcoffee Link ParentYeah, and this includes protests one may otherwise agree with. I've seen this happen in all kinds of protests, especially during the current polarised political climate. Issues with the protests...Re: protestor behavior, I'll just add that if you judge any protest movement by its worst actors, then one would be compelled to condemn them all.
Yeah, and this includes protests one may otherwise agree with.
I've seen this happen in all kinds of protests, especially during the current polarised political climate. Issues with the protests on the 'other side' are often considered a sign something is wrong with them. But not the ones the very same person agrees with.
At the same time, I also agree with @Minori 's response later in this thread with:
Obviously a lot of the protestors have a point and Israel under Bibi is committing heinous acts (almost no one will disagree with this). The concern some Jewish students have is it feels like a Nazi bar situation. Some of the protestors are using openly antisemitic and violent language that directly condemns Jewish people. I'm not talking about "river to the sea" or antizionism either.
As is usual with the situation of the Israeli-Palestine conflict, it's complicated. And there's no easy, clear cut solution. I really wish there was.
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Comment on Happy 6th Birthday, Tildes! in ~tildes
Raspcoffee LinkPretty new here compared to most (API Reddit moment) but it's been nice. Thanks Deimos!Pretty new here compared to most (API Reddit moment) but it's been nice. Thanks Deimos!
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Comment on Have you had a life-altering change in who you are? in ~talk
Raspcoffee Link ParentTad bit late, and someone already said complimented you but still. Growth is to be celebrated, and something I think you can be proud of. All to often we judge ourselves, and others, for how they...This is the thing I am most ashamed about myself.
Tad bit late, and someone already said complimented you but still. Growth is to be celebrated, and something I think you can be proud of.
All to often we judge ourselves, and others, for how they were in the past. But we can't choose how we grew up, only how we decide to grow further. In that sense, you're a better role model than those who support minority rights in a rather milquetoast manner.
Not many people develop the self-reflection you demonstrate with your life.
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Comment on The rise and fall of the trad wife: Alena Kate Pettitt helped lead an online movement promoting domesticity. Now she says, “It’s become its own monster.” in ~life.women
Raspcoffee Link ParentThe list is even longer, unfortunately. Far longer. I know to an extent it's preaching to the choir. But still, I really feel like smashing this weird obsession some people have with the 1950s so...Assuming your husband had returned from the war without PTSD. Assuming your husband was well off enough to afford you any luxuries...
The list is even longer, unfortunately. Far longer. I know to an extent it's preaching to the choir. But still, I really feel like smashing this weird obsession some people have with the 1950s so just to remind people:
- Assuming neither of you are LGBT and forced to live a life of lies. Or another minority really.
- Assuming none of your children get polio and have to become a full time caretaker of one child on top of being the housewife.
- Assuming your husband isn't abusive due to childhood trauma.
- Assuming you aren't abusive due to childhood trauma. Forget getting proper treatment during that time. Also, who has time to talk about feelings? This is still an age where a lot of people even in the more developed countries are trying to survive. If you're already focussing on living standards instead, count yourself lucky.
- Assuming your husband doesn't end up dead at work. Safety conditions aren't what they are today.
- Hell, assuming you don't end up sick, which tanks the entire structure the family relies on. When things are equally shared the family gains more flexibility and by extend power.
There's probably more that I can't think up on top of my head, quickly, but christ. As a dude I can't imagine being sane and wanting to go back to that time. Let alone as woman...
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Comment on Finland has remained the happiest country in the world for the seventh year in a row, according to the annual World Happiness Report published on Wednesday in ~life
Raspcoffee Link ParentYeah, I don't think this is a bad thing to compete over in a way, but more than anything, looking at happiness, live expectancy, quality of life etc. can teach us about ourselves if we compare it...In the end, isn't it better to look at this from a perspective of what the US might improve rather than see it as a sort of underhanded jab and personal insult?
Yeah, I don't think this is a bad thing to compete over in a way, but more than anything, looking at happiness, live expectancy, quality of life etc. can teach us about ourselves if we compare it in a productive way.
In a weird way, I'd argue that the fact that we compare these numbers is in the long arc of human history absolutely phenomenal. For millennia the primary concern was survival, quality metrics of life were secondary. And while much of humanity still suffers in horrible living conditions out of selfish interests (both domestically and foreign), taking a step back it's mind blowing.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee Link ParentChildhood neglect is such a mess. Fighting against an 'active' traumatic memory is one thing, but fighting against a void that's difficult to fill, fight, or process is really hard. It's so...Childhood neglect is such a mess. Fighting against an 'active' traumatic memory is one thing, but fighting against a void that's difficult to fill, fight, or process is really hard.
(and thus not being appropriately taught to invest in myself)
It's so difficult to love yourself when you haven't been receiving that properly as a kid. Self-love is so goddamn difficult to learn as an adult.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee LinkDifficult. Recently had a session with my therapist that brought up my earliest traumatic memory. And I'm pretty confident in that because I was 3 or 4, and I can only recall one earlier memory....Difficult. Recently had a session with my therapist that brought up my earliest traumatic memory. And I'm pretty confident in that because I was 3 or 4, and I can only recall one earlier memory.
It's been pretty liberating to have dug that up, but my brain is still kinda operating on some trauma responses by 'default'. Given how early that memory is and how it's been closer to three than two decades it's not surprising but boy.
I do have a temporary job so that's great. But man. I still really want to start a career.
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Comment on Feeling lost with mental health treatment in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee LinkFirst of all, I'm really sorry you're in such a place. I've been in similar circumstances and to me, it felt like being stuck while being stretched out at the same time. Needing help does not...First of all, I'm really sorry you're in such a place. I've been in similar circumstances and to me, it felt like being stuck while being stretched out at the same time.
I don't know what more to do. I always knew I was broken and needed help. And for all my life I thought that seeing a psychiatrist is a last resort in case "I can't fix myself" on my own.
Needing help does not indicate that you're 'broken', 'unworthy', or whatever you have internalised. I don't blame you for feeling this way, I still feel like it from time to time again. Unfortunately, whenever you hear remarks like:
I've heard my fair share of bad remarks that have gradually demoralised me (ADHD is not real. I'm just lazy. I just like to complain. etc)
From a very young age, it's easy to believe it to be that way fundamentally. "But what if it really is fake? What if I'm not doing enough?" Becomes so internalised that it's difficult to imagine seeing yourself as an equal human being. With it's own flaws, needs, wants, hopes and dreams.
To grow up in a setting completely devoid of empathy to your struggles does not mean that you're broken. In fact, I'd argue the opposite. You've been forced to survive in an environment that's, at least for you, so dysfunctional it may as well have been broken.
Unfortunately many children grow up in situations like that and thus internalise that 'brokenness' upon themselves.
If you've been through a similar journey, I'd love to hear your experience and any advice you wish you had received earlier.
See a therapist, ideally one who is experienced in ADHD and trauma. No one should be forced to live with a self-image that involves themselves being 'broken'. You mention CBT, and if that works it's fine, still, it's the advice I wished I had received back then so here ya go.
I just like to complain. etc) and due to the fact that I also have codependency problems this has greatly hurt me and made me feel like I am completely alone and nobody cares for my troubles or has my wellbeing in their best interest.
I've been in a similar boat quite a few times. I can't speak for you, obviously, but looking back (much) of my codependency in the past stemmed from the fact that I lacked unconditional love as a child. This on it's own, made me look for the combination of unconditional love and an unconditional relationship. Sadly, it's only very young children with their parents that can even have those in a healthy setting. Codependency is the closest thing you can get, but it comes at a very great cost.
The relationship with the one person you ought to both care and love the most: Yourself.
What was more shocking was how internally I felt at peace and something that I'd describe now as euphoric (as I assume this was just a side effect of the medication).
I have to ask, given the similarities, is it by any chance the case that it's the first time you were not depressed? I've had that the first time when I was 25 and it was wild for me. Like life had more colour, and gravity was tuned down. I remember googling back then whether it wasn't hypomania because I struggled to believe that feeling that good was even healthy. When, as it turned out, it's the 'normal' for most people.
Now it's been almost a whole year and I am in a critical time period where I need to excel and put in the work but I find myself succumbing to my symptoms while jumping up and down with the doses of some pills that barely seem to have an effect.
Critical work, for whom? If you ask me, it feels more like you could use time, energy and space for yourself rather than practical matters. Although I'm all to familiar myself with situations where said time, energy and space are not there for people who need it. Still, if there's anything I hope you'll take with you... it's kindness towards yourself.
Being patient and kind towards yourself when you've been told over and over how you're lazy, complain too much etc. is incredibly hard. Still, if you can accept that you are doing your best, even just a little bit, that would be progress. And it's progress that you deserve.
Best of luck, and all the best wishes, kindness and patience to you, from yourself.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Raspcoffee LinkYesterday finished Persona 3: Reload and had an absolute blast with it. I'm kinda glad now that I never bit the bullet with Persona 3 Portable as the current remake has a very good quality....Yesterday finished Persona 3: Reload and had an absolute blast with it. I'm kinda glad now that I never bit the bullet with Persona 3 Portable as the current remake has a very good quality. Despite not having played Persona 4 Golden that long ago now I do secretly hope for a higher quality remake of that to be produced. Unlikely, I know, but still.
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Comment on How Google is killing independent sites like ours in ~tech
Raspcoffee LinkI don't remember the last time I've actually used Google to find something. I still use Gmail, Google Maps and Youtube although I've been considering to switch out Gmail - though currently that's...I don't remember the last time I've actually used Google to find something. I still use Gmail, Google Maps and Youtube although I've been considering to switch out Gmail - though currently that's unlikely for some personal administrative issues(very long story).
Large parts of the Internet are slowly zombiefying itself through AI. Interestingly, if you know where to look at times (this site being an example) you can still get to nice places. Which reminds me of a phase Reddit went through, 5-10 years ago, where smaller, specific subreddits often still had good content and nice communities. The same thing appears to be happening to the Internet as a whole.
Whether that means that the current zombification of Reddit will happen on all of the Internet though, who knows? I'm expecting small communities to still be there. But they may be damn hard to find, 5, 10 years from now on.
The optimist in me really hopes to see a resurgence of smaller communities akin to the 00s Internet, but I'm not holding my breath. The monetary interests at play makes the Big Tech companies something of an Internet oligarchy. And small businesses, like the ones who made this article, are getting swallowed up. Consumer comfort and capitalistic investment are two rather strong forces under our current economic structures.
Sloth and greed truly are sins that hurt us all, I guess.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (February 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee LinkI think an assessment I just made for a job vacancy I thought I had a decent chance for went rather poorly. Shit.I think an assessment I just made for a job vacancy I thought I had a decent chance for went rather poorly.
Shit.
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Comment on Stop pretending you’re not rich [2017] in ~finance
Raspcoffee Link ParentYeah, to be blunt, I was expecting to be very annoyed by this article. This being another "aKtuAlLY we've never been as rich" which can be true in some metrics but ignore the issues individuals,...I keep seeing stories that pit groups of people against each other. [...] This article is at least mostly true.
Yeah, to be blunt, I was expecting to be very annoyed by this article. This being another "aKtuAlLY we've never been as rich" which can be true in some metrics but ignore the issues individuals, households etc. have currently.
Not being American but having lived there for half a year I actually strongly agree with the conclusions the article presents, though the dynamics are often pretty complicated in how it arrives there. Another thing it reminds me off, though I don't have a source at hand, is that much of psychological research into class in America, and racism in Europe, actually started because they needed to compare data.... after which they were shocked to learn that yes, America is very classist and European countries are in fact racist.
In fact, I think the billionaires that own the media, including the New York Times, would rather keep all the rest of us fighting over the crumbs and reading these opinion pieces.
It's what separates a problem of inequality from a problem of oligarchy in my opinion. A defacto classist, political structure that prevents the countermeasures needed against it. In a weird way, the meritocracy the USA long benefitted from and is protective of created the very thing it was used to fight it with.
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Comment on Elon Musk's Neuralink implants brain chip in first human in ~health
Raspcoffee Link ParentYeah to be honest I fear a situation occurring here where we won't learn much of the successes, but of the failures of the company. The World Wars "contribution" to our understanding of the brain...I'm interested in the potential of this kind of tech for helping people medically and the whole idea of improving ourselves with technology.
Yeah to be honest I fear a situation occurring here where we won't learn much of the successes, but of the failures of the company. The World Wars "contribution" to our understanding of the brain comes to mind.
Considering how he's been running Twitter into the ground even through rock bottom, I fear for the people who are going to have the chip installed. It reads like the start of a bad sci-fi horror movie.
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Comment on What programming/technical projects have you been working on? in ~comp
Raspcoffee LinkSince I've been unemployed for quite a bit I decided to both brush up my C++ and learn some SQL by converting some .csv files of asteroids into SQL databases(partially? Have yet to decide how far...Since I've been unemployed for quite a bit I decided to both brush up my C++ and learn some SQL by converting some .csv files of asteroids into SQL databases(partially? Have yet to decide how far too go once I've got a working system. Going into gigabytes of data is tempting for the challenge but we'll see). The basics of SQL look simple enough but of course, the most difficult part is never what you expected and my Ubuntu system seems like it's decided to 'nope' out of a local host.
Guess I'll look into a free Azure server or something similar tomorrow.
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Comment on "Birds Aren't Real" leader TED talk about his movement | Peter McIndoe in ~humanities
Raspcoffee Link ParentI found this thanks to the thread being essentially revived due to your comment, and want to thank you for that. What I've noticed - although I don't have really hard data for it to confirm as...I found this thanks to the thread being essentially revived due to your comment, and want to thank you for that.
What I've noticed - although I don't have really hard data for it to confirm as such, is that people tend to be against polarisation in their favour. What I mean by that is that people tend to exactly what the speaker of this talk do. Rather than wondering what makes someone with extreme believes feel what they feel, they often assume and judge. And at the same time, quite often still have a preference for direction.
I don't know which podcast episode it was unfortunately, but Brené Brown talked with a guest on her podcast about university courses. One was for speaking, the other for listening. One of them did not have enough students signed up to continue. The other was speaking.
Quite often when someone has an opinion we perceive as a thread we assume it comes from hatred.
"They think we should make history more nuanced, therefore they hate our history."
"They think we should allow less immigrants, therefore they are racist."
Now, the above two sentences can in fact be true depending on the circumstances. But for all we know they may have different reasons than we think. The later for example, for all we know they may truly believe that job hunting is a zero-sum game. And at the same time they have children that are struggling with finding a job.
Now then, picture this. An old, white, rural man worried about their children, thinking reducing immigration will fix the lives of their children. Then stating they believe that immigration should be reduced.
And then imagine someone, say, a student - who is also white, highly educated and a job in high-tech just saying.
"That's racist!"
How would you feel in the situation of that man?
Now, I know that this is rather hypothetical. And unfortunately, many will use similar arguments and feelings to cover up their racism. But really, what do you want to achieve here? If it's a racist, he most likely wouldn't listen anyway. But if you simply respond with.
"Why do you think that?"
And then proceed to listen first, and maybe then discuss (not debate! Discuss!). You'll actually be in a better spot to decide where the other party comes from. And the other party, you.
I know that that's easier said that done at times. Being judgemental can feel very good. And the Internet makes it easier for the entire audience to react on instinct - which is typically speak first talk later - and I still think this is worth to keep in mind.
For all you know the presumption of hatred makes you, yourself more hateful. I've been there myself at times, and probably everyone. Simply being mindfull about it goes a long way, I hope.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (January 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee Link ParentI'm not sure if this will helpful as it's advicy rather than 'feeling with', but I somehow feel like I should say this. I've found it useful to really explore anxiety that comes through...I'm not sure if this will helpful as it's advicy rather than 'feeling with', but I somehow feel like I should say this.
I've found it useful to really explore anxiety that comes through fear("watch out, this is dangerous!") and anxiety on what is important("careful, this is important!"). I imagine that
This weekend I planned a day for myself at the local amusement park. I'm both excited for it and dreading it at the same time.
You kind of feel both with the amusement park. As the careful-anxiety also kinda peaks at things that are important to look forward too. Make sure you cherish that anxiety in a way, and not treating it like the anxiety that comes through fear. I still have to remind myself of this from time to time, as it sometimes made me treat things with fear-like reactions when I didn't actually feel fear.
My SIL said because my body knows it's the stressful time of year.
Yeah, stress has actual physical reactions. Feeling that is important imo, as it can be an indication of when you need to rest as opposed to keep pressing on. For whatever reason we often treat stress as an enemy when it's often more a symptom. If necessary, wrap yourself in a blanket with a nice cup of tea. :) If you struggle to give yourself kindness, you can try and imagine treating a stressed out child and perform that action on yourself indirectly.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (January 2024) in ~health.mental
Raspcoffee Link ParentPeople often think that fighting against mental health issues is mostly fighting the darkness, but I've often found that fighting the things that made me temporarily happy or relieved a whole lot...People often think that fighting against mental health issues is mostly fighting the darkness, but I've often found that fighting the things that made me temporarily happy or relieved a whole lot harder.
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Comment on Tom Scott: After ten years, it's time to stop making videos in ~tech
Raspcoffee LinkSad in a nice way to see the end of this, what an absolute legend. Learned a lot of interesting stuff, but honestly I'm glad that creators do set boundaries. Both for themselves and for the...Sad in a nice way to see the end of this, what an absolute legend. Learned a lot of interesting stuff, but honestly I'm glad that creators do set boundaries. Both for themselves and for the audience.
I'm glad we were privileged to have him produce videos for 10 years, every week. 520 videos is a lot of work and it always felt genuine to me.
And with any other dev team I'd probably consider that a negative as it'd make me more wary of it being bug-ridden and whatnot. But given the absolute masterpiece that Hades is...