17 votes

Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like vent, reciprocity and strait of hormuz. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was bewildered.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

17 comments

  1. Raspcoffee
    Link
    Here is a cute one. A little boy in the Netherlands handed over a letter to the local police bureau to apology for calling the emergency service unnecessarily Rather than the article itself, I'll...

    Here is a cute one. A little boy in the Netherlands handed over a letter to the local police bureau to apology for calling the emergency service unnecessarily

    Rather than the article itself, I'll translate/localize the letter the boy gave. Including obvious spelling mistakes:

    Sori that I yester called 5x to 112. I will do that never again

    12 votes
  2. [2]
    JCPhoenix
    Link
    Not quite offbeat, but rather beating off. There's even a tracking app at https://beatcanceroff.com/. So guys can track their "activities." And, for once, it actually IS for science!

    Not quite offbeat, but rather beating off.

    Nonprofit cancer organization FCancer, together with VML Health, has launched "Beat Cancer Off," a bold new awareness campaign built around a striking scientific insight: men who ejaculate 21 or more times per month may reduce their risk of prostate cancer by up to 22%, according to the landmark Health Professionals Follow-up Study (HPFS) - one of the largest and longest-running studies of its kind.

    There's even a tracking app at https://beatcanceroff.com/. So guys can track their "activities." And, for once, it actually IS for science!

    12 votes
    1. jredd23
      Link Parent
      I don't know about you, but for a very long time now, I understood the health benefits very well.

      I don't know about you, but for a very long time now, I understood the health benefits very well.

      Help "flush out" chemicals and potential carcinogens from the prostate
      Reduce intraprostatic inflammation
      Reduce tiny crystal deposits that have been linked to prostate cancer
      Support the immune system's ability to detect abnormal cells
      Lower stress-related signals that can encourage prostate cell growth

      6 votes
  3. [4]
    chocobean
    Link
    Woman uproots 20-year-old cherry blossom tree while posing for photo at Shanghai park Sunny Lam's parody (Cantonese language) song has a copy of the video. Ultimately this is a small silly mistake...

    Woman uproots 20-year-old cherry blossom tree while posing for photo at Shanghai park

    A woman in China uprooted a 20-year-old cherry blossom tree while climbing it, in an incident captured on video which went viral online.

    As the culprit stabilised herself on the branches, the tree appears to tilt before crashing to the ground, seemingly unable to bear her weight. [...]

    Following the incident, park staff were dispatched to take emergency measures, such as installing supports and attempting to straighten the tree.

    However, due to the uprooting, the tree's chances of survival are low.

    It was reported that the woman involved has admitted to her mistake and offered to compensate for the damage.

    Sunny Lam's parody (Cantonese language) song has a copy of the video.

    Ultimately this is a small silly mistake and although it's sad for the young tree, hopefully a teachable moment for visitors, and good job on the woman for taking responsibility.

    8 votes
    1. [3]
      jredd23
      Link Parent
      I saw this and it reminded me of the story where a guy cut down a very old tree, I think England. Anyway, I don't get it, I do hope the punishment is severe enough so other ppl remember not to be...

      I saw this and it reminded me of the story where a guy cut down a very old tree, I think England. Anyway, I don't get it, I do hope the punishment is severe enough so other ppl remember not to be dumb.

      3 votes
      1. CannibalisticApple
        Link Parent
        At least this one wasn't someone trying to damage the tree, just an honest accident that could have been made by anyone. Way too many tourist stories are fully intentional...

        At least this one wasn't someone trying to damage the tree, just an honest accident that could have been made by anyone. Way too many tourist stories are fully intentional...

        5 votes
      2. tanglisha
        Link Parent
        Doesn’t really work with tourists. Even if they happen to have heard of the punishment, they’re so much more clever than the one who got caught.

        Doesn’t really work with tourists. Even if they happen to have heard of the punishment, they’re so much more clever than the one who got caught.

        2 votes
  4. [3]
    mycketforvirrad
    Link
    Pogacar may face fine for running red light in Flanders win BBC Sport – Mike Peter – 5th April 2026

    Pogacar may face fine for running red light in Flanders win

    Defending champion Tadej Pogacar won a record-equalling third Tour of Flanders, but could face action after he was one of up to 20 riders who ran a red light at a railway crossing.

    The peloton was told to stop at a level crossing as the lights turned to red, but a group at the front - including Pogacar and Remco Evenepoel - slipped across the tracks in pursuit of the early leaders.

    BBC Sport – Mike Peter – 5th April 2026

    7 votes
    1. [2]
      jredd23
      Link Parent
      Fair enough, safety is an issue. I would hope organizers understood this before drawing up the course.

      Fair enough, safety is an issue. I would hope organizers understood this before drawing up the course.

      3 votes
      1. stewedrabbit
        Link Parent
        There was a safety briefing to all teams and cyclists, which included the railway crossing. What makes it entirely absurd, is that in such an event, those who crossed will wait on the other side...

        There was a safety briefing to all teams and cyclists, which included the railway crossing.

        What makes it entirely absurd, is that in such an event, those who crossed will wait on the other side for the others to catch up, so there is no competitive benefit...

        BTW: it were closer to 50 cyclists that ran the red light, and the public reaction was very correct, with no justifying the wrongdoers.

        2 votes
  5. [3]
    jredd23
    Link
    Missing Girl Found After 32 Years The backstory is sad, dealing with family issues, custody etc., What I think is so interesting is that she has been living her life all this time and all of a...

    Missing Girl Found After 32 Years

    The backstory is sad, dealing with family issues, custody etc., What I think is so interesting is that she has been living her life all this time and all of a sudden she is found. The story of that effort, to me, is what's so interesting.

    6 votes
    1. [2]
      chocobean
      Link Parent
      To me, the most interesting things are what was left unsaid. Clearly, the "girl" is still protecting the original story and her mother. The article's timeline was a bit messy, but it sounds like...

      To me, the most interesting things are what was left unsaid. Clearly, the "girl" is still protecting the original story and her mother. The article's timeline was a bit messy, but it sounds like the police knew it was the mom. So why did they keep the case open instead of "work it out this is a civil matter" like they so often tell people who can't afford horses?

      Comedian Christopher Titus had a special called Carrying Monsters where he talked about his family, including the story of when one of his noncustodial parents kidnapped him because the custodial one isn't capable of being a good parent.

      We know most kidnappings are by people known to the kids/family, but I do wonder how large of a percentage is due to family court not being primarily about having the best welfare of the child in mind.

      3 votes
      1. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        Abductions, even parental ones, are not considered civil matters and since she was reported as a missing child there are particular laws around that - not sure how they'd apply to the 90s though....

        Abductions, even parental ones, are not considered civil matters and since she was reported as a missing child there are particular laws around that - not sure how they'd apply to the 90s though.

        It doesn't sound like this was a custody enforcement issue but a truly missing child is going to flag and stay flagged (now whether some officer somewhere back then figured it out, realized she was happy and looked the other way seems to be at question)

        3 votes
  6. [4]
    patience_limited
    Link
    McDonald’s debuts one-finger gadget that lets you move your character to 'keep you in the game' while you chow down — Pro Gamer Menu's ‘Archie’ designed to keep you from being kicked for...
    5 votes
    1. [3]
      balooga
      Link Parent
      I low-key love that the marketing picture shows the controller above a crumpled burger wrapper, nasty grease stains and all. It's highly atypical for fast food ads to portray any part of their...

      I low-key love that the marketing picture shows the controller above a crumpled burger wrapper, nasty grease stains and all. It's highly atypical for fast food ads to portray any part of their products so realistically. So, uh, kudos for that.

      4 votes
      1. [2]
        rich_27
        Link Parent
        Huh, I hadn't noticed that, that is good! It makes it doubly strange to me that they decided to do it via render though, as when you look closer it looks really strange and I feel like they could...

        Huh, I hadn't noticed that, that is good! It makes it doubly strange to me that they decided to do it via render though, as when you look closer it looks really strange and I feel like they could have achieved a similar effect that looked better fairly easily in real life!

        2 votes
        1. chocobean
          Link Parent
          That's because the render was done by some poor intern-waged staff who's not only never seen one of these in real life, but would be the last in corporate chain to be able to get their hands on a...

          That's because the render was done by some poor intern intern-waged staff who's not only never seen one of these in real life, but would be the last in corporate chain to be able to get their hands on a physical one. They were probably tasked with doing this for an internal presentation when the idea was pitched and then the image never updated again.

          In the old days, a product is pitched, approved, made, and then an advertising firm hired to do pictures in preparation for launch using an existing real item. Now everything is done in parallel at best

          3 votes