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votes
Post your best/worst holiday jokes
Getting in the spirit of things, what are your best/worst holiday jokes? I'm being deliberately vague about which holiday.
Optional: what is your favorite reaction you've gotten from telling a joke?
Which one of Santa's reindeer are the dinosaurs most terrified of?
One I made up today:
Did you hear about the latest TikTok trend? It's jewelry made out of herbs. It's really gone viral lately because *it's the most wonderful thyme of the ear. *
When it comes to puns/Dad jokes, I always say two things:
My favorite reaction I ever got was a double reaction when I worked in a university robotics lab.
My immediate coworkers and I were on the elevator returning from lunch when one of the faculty/PIs got onto the elevator. He had a box for a new Apple laptop, and he said, "Part of my ongoing quest for a stable machine." As he got off the elevator at the next stop, I threw out "Have you tried a horse and buggy?" About ten feet away I saw him get it and bust out laughing.
The second reaction came from a relatively new member of the team who exhibited little or no sense of humor. He rolled his eyes at me. I just smiled at him, and he said, "Am I supposed to find your joke funny?" I said, "No, when you've worked with me long enough, you will make the joke."
Three months went by, and we were all in a meeting. He fired off a deliberate pun, looking at me to see how I would react. (I laughed.) That was my favorite day.
Short: Christmas card with a very cute baby Jesus on the cover: "Party like it's my birthday!"
Long
A pair of new parents are getting ready to host their baby's first ever Christmas party with their entire extended family.
First they went to a home improvement store for Christmas lights. The store was jam packed with people buying trees and ornaments and fake reindeer and the check out lines took forever.
Then they went to the grocery store for a turkey. The supermarket parking lot was already full all the way to the back but the store was even worse, with people buying sweet potatoes and stuffing and pies and cranberries. The auto check out line was less bad but it still took forever.
Finally they decided to get presents online instead of being in a crowded physical retail store, only to find that there's a long digital queue line for this year's must have gadgets and gifts.
Exhausted, they opened their doors, relatives file in, someone takes baby off their hands, some other people get working in the kitchen to make the meal, and Uncle Fred comes over to chat. He got them each an overstuffed ottoman to put up their feet, then went to get them some punch and quickly returned because there was no punchline.
Re: long I like it a lot :)