IIIIIIIIII's recent activity
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Comment on Where does your username come from? (Following up on last year's thread) in ~tildes
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Comment on Where does your username come from? (Following up on last year's thread) in ~tildes
IIIIIIIIII LinkI actually just explained mine (and how to pronounce it!) over in another thread. I guess to give a little more insight, when I first started Tild-ing a couple of years ago I was working in an...I actually just explained mine (and how to pronounce it!) over in another thread.
I guess to give a little more insight, when I first started Tild-ing a couple of years ago I was working in an open-plan office. The layout of the site is distinctive, my username was pretty easy to see and remember. I don't dislike my coworkers, but I also don't want many of them knowing details of what I'm thinking,
So I just character replaced my username with l's and I's to make it visually as difficult for a shoulder-peeker to see. I did it on reddit and Tildes simultaneously, but that was just before the reddit API stuff, so I only really use it here.
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Comment on 2024 United States election megathread in ~society
IIIIIIIIII Link ParentI've never tried to pronounce it honestly. Back in the reddit days when I started realising 'oh, I'm leaving a digital footprint'. I created it to be as difficult to remember/retype/reproduce as...While we're on the subject, how do I pronounce your user name? :)
I've never tried to pronounce it honestly. Back in the reddit days when I started realising 'oh, I'm leaving a digital footprint'. I created it to be as difficult to remember/retype/reproduce as possible. The different l's and I's are stand-ins for an old username.
It's the same reason I delete almost all of my comments - although I don't know if I really need to still do that on Tildes.
If I had to pronounce it I imagine it'd sound like the sound from 10s to 13s of the dial up modem sound
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Comment on 2024 United States election megathread in ~society
IIIIIIIIII Link ParentNo worries. I know it is a bit of a non sequitur, but I think because your username is so memorable, seeing you pop up in a thread is a bit like 'oh, phewf, sensible discussion' to me. Like a...No worries. I know it is a bit of a non sequitur, but I think because your username is so memorable, seeing you pop up in a thread is a bit like 'oh, phewf, sensible discussion' to me. Like a green flag.
Funnily enough it's kind of an example of someone making connections outside of normal circles. I've learned a lot about the urban/rural Canadanian divide from what you say, as well as the HK diaspora, and I think (unless I've got the wrong person) a lot about religion too.
I'm glad this site exists because you aren't someone I'd encounter inside my usual circles, and it's cool to hear your opinion on things. Plus, there is nothing cold about the account name chocobean.
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Comment on 2024 United States election megathread in ~society
IIIIIIIIII Link ParentWe had a shock election in my country where a large majority voted in a very conservative government. In comparison to Trump, Orban, Putin, very lightweight, but still - it was a shock similar to...We had a shock election in my country where a large majority voted in a very conservative government. In comparison to Trump, Orban, Putin, very lightweight, but still - it was a shock similar to this.
The feeling for the next few months amongst myself and many others was one of mistrust in the community. Prior to the election, nobody was loud and proud about voting for the conservatives, so it was shocking.
The certain knowledge that more than half of my country did it (mandatory voting) made me much more distrusting of reaching out to people outside my usual circles.
I've just returned from an extended period in the US and I am looking back at every friend, acquaintance, casual conversation and thinking 'Were you one too? Did you vote for him? Did you decide to stay home?'
It's so much worse in the American example. My country can survive three bad years of social policy. This election in America was openly voting for hatred and mass persecution. And, as you say, the abandonment of:
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Support to the Ukrainian people
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The lesser of two evils regarding the ongoing genocide in Palestine
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Any security guarantee that Taiwan may have hoped for in the face of Chinese aggression.
For me, this experience makes me much less likely to reach out to others, and much more likely to close ranks with people I know I can count on. I really admire your optimism here but I can't see past the choice that so many millions of people made to openly embrace not just horror at home, but also horror abroad.
(Also, I just wanted to say that I very much appreciate your contributions to Tildes, chocobean).
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Comment on Against Netflix in ~tv
IIIIIIIIII Link ParentWoah, are you okay?Woah, are you okay?
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~talk
IIIIIIIIII (edited )LinkI don't have much to add that you haven't covered, but I was reading the Problem of Evil Wikipedia article just before I read this, so a lot of the things you wrote resonated with me. I take...- Exemplary
I don't have much to add that you haven't covered, but I was reading the Problem of Evil Wikipedia article just before I read this, so a lot of the things you wrote resonated with me.
I take Epicurus's position on the whole first part of your essay - I think we can pretty safely do away with the concept of a god:
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?I think I'm quite similar to you in outlook. The whole idea of existence is absurd. Everything we love withers and dies, nothing we do will be remembered, even if we can steel ourselves against pain we are forced to endure pain in the world second-hand through the suffering of others (and animals, and the planet).
But here we are.
I think my response to this is to take Camus' problem and answer it with Epicurus's solution.
“There is only one really serious philosophical problem,” Camus says, “and that is suicide. Deciding whether or not life is worth living is to answer the fundamental question in philosophy. All other questions follow from that."
Camus sees this question of suicide as a natural response to an underlying reality, namely, that life is absurd. It is absurd to continually seek meaning in life when there is none; and it is absurd to hope for some form of continued existence after death, which results in our extinction. But Camus also thinks it absurd to try to know, understand, or explain the world, since he regards the attempt to gain rational knowledge as futile.
Here Camus pits himself against science and philosophy, dismissing the claims of all forms of rational analysis: “That universal reason, practical or ethical, that determinism, those categories that explain everything are enough to make a decent man laugh.” Camus sees this question of suicide as a natural response to an underlying reality, namely, that life is absurd.
It is absurd to continually seek meaning in life when there is none; and it is absurd to hope for some form of continued existence after death, which results in our extinction. But Camus also thinks it absurd to try to know, understand, or explain the world, since he regards the attempt to gain rational knowledge as futile. Here Camus pits himself against science and philosophy, dismissing the claims of all forms of rational analysis: “That universal reason, practical or ethical, that determinism, those categories that explain everything are enough to make a decent man laugh.”
Seems quite bleak so far, but:
In response to the lure of suicide, Camus counsels an intensely conscious and active non-resolution. Rejecting any hope of resolving the strain is also to reject despair. Indeed, it is possible, within and against these limits, to speak of happiness.
“Happiness and the absurd are two sons of the same earth. They are inseparable”. It is not that discovering the absurd leads necessarily to happiness, but rather that acknowledging the absurd means also accepting human frailty, an awareness of our limitations, and the fact that we cannot help wishing to go beyond what is possible. These are all tokens of being fully alive. “The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”
I suppose I've broadly found that to be true. I mostly read Epicurus (and, occasionally, Seneca's letters) in regards to dealing with Camus' diagnosis of the absurdity of life. I think Epicurus's philosophy is almost complete for me in regards to a course of action for what Camus identified. I don't need much to be happy. Even though I know the beautiful dog sleeping next to me will die, his companionship makes me very happy. Even though there's a genocide going on a short flight from my country and there's nothing I can do to stop it, I can acknowledge that pain - that evil - instead of pretending it doesn't exist. I read books that satisfy me, I watch movies that I like, I spend time with my friends, I eat meals I enjoy, and occasionally treat myself to ice cream.
One of Epicurus's students, Philodemus, wrote:
'Nothing to fear in God;
Nothing to feel in Death;
Good can be attained;
Evil can be endured.'That's how I deal with the absurd. Well, that, and some of Tolkien's philosophy, even though he was a Catholic and I'm not. In Tolkien's created mythology, the chief deity granted death as a gift to men, alongside free will. Fearing death was a perversion of this gift by Morgoth (Sauron's bigger, badder predecessor) - pride of legacy and jealousy of time replaced gratitude of the flame of self-determination.
Thousands of in-universe years later when the Rohirrim battled upon Pelennor, Théoden/Éomer's call of, "Death! Death!" was not simply a rallying cry, but an outright rejection of the discord of Morgoth, and an embrace of the gift of death - banishing the shadow in spirit before destroying it in body.
No human in Tolkien's work has any fucking idea what's going to happen after death. There isn't a heaven, which I suppose would have been pretty tempting for a Catholic author to put in. Elves are bound to the world, immortal, and reborn from the Halls of Mandos. Especially in the Silmarillion, the immortal don't understand why humans are so averse to the concept of death. Elves are reborn and live through suffering until the world's ending. Humans die and... well, at least there's the possibility for rest, or respite, or simply not existing anymore.
That's resonated with me for many years. I didn't care about suffering before I was born, I doubt I'll care after I die. I assume both states will be pretty much the same, except I might be more eager to die than be born by the time life is over. But while life is going on, fuck it, we ball.
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Comment on Deciding whether to continue with chemotherapy and immunotherapy in ~health
IIIIIIIIII LinkDan, the only part I can empathise with really is having two medical teams fight over my care and not agree, with my primary physician saying 'well, let them sort it out.' There was a crucial...Dan, the only part I can empathise with really is having two medical teams fight over my care and not agree, with my primary physician saying 'well, let them sort it out.'
There was a crucial difference in my case, though. It was being paid for by the state, and their end goal was to get me out of hospital, and back to work. If not in the job I was previously doing (active), then in an office. They were fighting to try and extract labour from me. It made me feel bad. I had no agency there. I felt helpless.
I am really hoping you have agency in your situation. I am hoping you aren't beholden by medical debt or the pressures of working an extra six months to provide to your family.
I am a simple person, and I often think about problems in terms of figuring out what the centre of gravity is. A problem's, if I want to 'attack' it, or my own, if I want to 'defend' some part of myself - making decisions about my heath is often about what is most important to defend, what is 'the hub of all power and movement, on which everything depends.'
From reading your writing, it sounds like it is very much quality of life and having agency in your death. From reading only the limited words you have here, that sounds like your centre of gravity. Defending that sounds very much like you have a guiding strategy for how you want to approach this.
I have a feeling from observing family members in similar situations you might be overwhelmed by decision making with a lot of uncertainty. This is just presented as a suggestion, not as a dictation, but I have always found the concept of the OODA Loop very helpful when I need to make decisions in uncertainty and take action to advocate for what I want and need.
I might be an indoctrinated hammer, and I might approach every problem like a nail, but using this framework has worked very well for me in life: to keep moving one has so many fast decisions to make without enough information and time. Here's some more info if you are interested.
Lastly, I will miss you greatly. I have enjoyed reading what you have to write and though I am neither friend nor family, having strangers miss you because of your positive qualities I think is a mark of a well-lived life. I don't know what happens when we die, but I know that people will miss you. If there is something after this, I hope to see you there.
Hahaha there really is one for everything. I hadn't actually!
I figured it worked for reddit because there were so many of them. I never imagined I'd be the only one here, I think when I was newer I thought the growth curve was steeper (as I came in just before the reddit API thing and saw the user explosion)