Mullin's recent activity
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Comment on What mattress would you recommend? in ~life.home_improvement
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Comment on I want to hear about good relationships in ~talk
Mullin Link ParentOh I understand it as well, but honestly "sleeping it off" can work wonders. The sleep deprivation from having an infant can already be brutal sometimes you're mad because you're tired, you've...Oh I understand it as well, but honestly "sleeping it off" can work wonders. The sleep deprivation from having an infant can already be brutal sometimes you're mad because you're tired, you've just gotta sleep, and talk it out when you aren't running on fumes. Honestly sometimes it takes a few days to really mull over something, I don't think emotions are always so amenable to time tables, it's really that you eventually understand the cause of the argument and have a resolution, that seems to matter to me.
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Comment on I want to hear about good relationships in ~talk
Mullin LinkI've been together with my wife 13 years, married 9 of them. I think the biggest things have been, mostly about aligning priorities, keeping each other informed of what's going on. And the most...I've been together with my wife 13 years, married 9 of them. I think the biggest things have been, mostly about aligning priorities, keeping each other informed of what's going on. And the most important one to me is honestly just .... apologizing. I don't think any couple can get away with not fighting or getting mad at each other, or doing the wrong thing every now and then. Especially with kids, it's been more stressful and sometimes we can be at each other's throat, but it's just stress. That we apologize to one another and that we don't let our anger bleed into how we feel about the other person is a level of resiliency that I feel confident will keep us together however many more decades.
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Comment on Woman sues US fertility clinic, saying she gave birth to another patient’s baby in ~health
Mullin Link ParentI don't think it's so clear cut, we don't know how many embryos the other couple had and the follicle stimulating part of IVF is the part that maximally sucks and people often do not want to go...I don't think it's so clear cut, we don't know how many embryos the other couple had and the follicle stimulating part of IVF is the part that maximally sucks and people often do not want to go through again. I think giving the child to the genetic parents is fine, and I'd hope they would keep her involved as much as possible because of course the attachment over pregnancy/5 months is significant. We had our daughter that was born via IVF paternity/maternity tested within a month of her birth specifically because as rare as it could be, mistakes happen. In a country where wrong site surgery is a regular occurrence is was important to verify. And I'd be devastated if we lost even one embryo. There's an emotional attachment and drain from IVF that is hard to describe. Either way this is a horror story, and I cant believe the clinic would have such awful controls. I was destroyed when that story of a woman breaking into an IVF clinic and carelessly destroying embryos happened a few years back, that's like murder levels of rage if I was any of the couples affected.
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Comment on What is your weirdest kitchen appliance and what do you think of it? in ~food
Mullin Link ParentI have one of these as well (ironically left in the house from previous owners when I bought it) and I've found I use it a lot for batters, like waffle or pancakes, it works really well and it's...I have one of these as well (ironically left in the house from previous owners when I bought it) and I've found I use it a lot for batters, like waffle or pancakes, it works really well and it's easier to clean than using a normal metal whisk. I wouldn't use it on things I actually need to whip but for thick batters, cakes/brownies etc it works pretty good
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Comment on US President Donald Trump to issue executive orders to end birthright citizenship, limit gender identity — incoming official in ~lgbt
Mullin Link ParentI wasn't the original reply in this direction, I was just commenting on the same themes. I think it's fine to have these conversations even during uncomfortable times. The point I was trying to...I wasn't the original reply in this direction, I was just commenting on the same themes. I think it's fine to have these conversations even during uncomfortable times. The point I was trying to make wasn't to defend a gender binary, far from it, I think whether there is a gender binary doesn't matter for trans rights. I firmly am in the camp that people should be allowed to get whatever medical care they need or want, and I think it's fundamentally insane that we may live in a country soon where it's totally fine for an AMAB to go to the doctor and get testosterone but not an AFAB, for bigotry reasons. Ultimately that's what this is, bold faced bigotry. I feel like focusing on what they say compared to what they intend is ceding ground and fighting on the wrong terms.
Believe me, I am not speaking about this from a position of not caring, not being involved. It's because I'm frustrated and angry at the erosion of rights in this country. It's why it's important to understand that everything is connected, women's rights connected to LGBT, LGBT connected to T, so on and so forth. The bigotry won't stop on any minority. Maybe I'm rambling, or venting, or whatever, but I have just as much a notion to do that as anyone else. Please don't pattern match me to a type of guy you've encountered before
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Comment on US President Donald Trump to issue executive orders to end birthright citizenship, limit gender identity — incoming official in ~lgbt
Mullin Link Parent......I feel like we're quibbling over details, of course I know my sex chromosomes because I have a phenotype that corresponds with the presence of a Y chromosome. We do not need to try to.........I feel like we're quibbling over details, of course I know my sex chromosomes because I have a phenotype that corresponds with the presence of a Y chromosome. We do not need to try to reinvent something or change a definition to get the desired outcome, we can change notes and rules based on what is ethical and moral. What I meant was that the sex chromosomes themselves are a binary. I'm not trying to dog whistle here, while intersex exists and I want them to be treated equitably and with proper consent and understanding from a medical perspective, it is not a normal phenotypical presentation or a preferred developmental outcome.
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Comment on US President Donald Trump to issue executive orders to end birthright citizenship, limit gender identity — incoming official in ~lgbt
Mullin Link ParentI'm not trying to be trite about it, but isn't biological sex tied to sexual reproduction, and from that perspective could be defined in a way of gametes and sex chromosomes...there are two sex...I'm not trying to be trite about it, but isn't biological sex tied to sexual reproduction, and from that perspective could be defined in a way of gametes and sex chromosomes...there are two sex chromosomes regardless of if you include aneuploidy. I guess I don't think it helps to try to attack the underlying concept of a biological gender binary when the ultimate goal is for people to have full autonomy over their gender expression and presentation just on the merits that it is their body their choice IMO
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~life.women
Mullin Link ParentI think coming from a feminist perspective: consent is hard to prove, and the exact same external factors that could show coercion or duress could equally be applied to a woman saying yes, and...- Exemplary
I think coming from a feminist perspective: consent is hard to prove, and the exact same external factors that could show coercion or duress could equally be applied to a woman saying yes, and from a more inclusive perspective: yes doesn't always mean yes, I think most feminists would say that rape or assault can occur because circumstances changed even after saying yes. So a consent based definition likely won't make rape more prosecutable, or less prevalent.
I think generally, until you can destroy the cultural aspects of sex being something that's seen as gatekept by women, or something that is seen as a woman's value....you can't fix this. You have to fix both male entitlement, and fix gendered cultural roles, I'm not sure anyone's fully done this. I personally fear that we're backsliding as conservative movements gain more steam globally, as well as anti-immigration, meaning that it'll be even more difficult for women to remove themselves from societies that control them, and see them as chattel or breeding stock. That's what really worries me. And not that I want to go into it, but I'm also concerned about the rise of revenge porn, deep fakes, etc that further disproportionately harm women and attack agency they have over their own bodies :/ it's not a very positive time right now for women or women's health
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Comment on Magnus Carlsen has been disqualified from the World Rapid Championship in New York due to a dress code violation – also withdrawing from the World Blitz in ~games.tabletop
Mullin Link ParentSaying it's "generally not business attire" feels a bit loose, even if it's more clear than I initially suspected, so I'll accept that I didn't know the dress code was explicitly published like...Saying it's "generally not business attire" feels a bit loose, even if it's more clear than I initially suspected, so I'll accept that I didn't know the dress code was explicitly published like that. Either way, other players were wearing jeans, as images show, without being fined, and you have to accept that FIDE doesn't have a great track record with dress code enforcement. Personally, it feels vindictive, but maybe you're right that it's more justified than it seems, that said, I think it's an own goal by FIDE, and maybe we'll look back on this as being a turning point if a new organization comes up. I think if their enforcement was uniform and Magnus wasn't targeted than sure, it's on him.
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Comment on Magnus Carlsen has been disqualified from the World Rapid Championship in New York due to a dress code violation – also withdrawing from the World Blitz in ~games.tabletop
Mullin Link ParentThe tournament only has rules about decorum, it's not like jeans are explicitly banned, nor was Magnus the only player that was wearing jeans, he was specifically targeted because FIDE has obvious...The tournament only has rules about decorum, it's not like jeans are explicitly banned, nor was Magnus the only player that was wearing jeans, he was specifically targeted because FIDE has obvious beef with him, but FIDE is a horrible organization and consistently has terrible, and often misogynistic ""enforcement "" of dress codes. This is pretty indefensible when he was still wearing dress shoes and a suit jacket, it's not like he looked unprofessional, for an event where the cameras only show the players top halves even, and they fined Ian for having idk, a too ostentatious jacket? You shouldn't be defending FIDE here
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Comment on The CEO of UnitedHealthcare (insurance company) has been assassinated in NYC in ~news
Mullin LinkAnyone not condemning this is a fucking idiot without strong morals convictions. Murder is wrong, this is wrong. If you think this CEO had any more blood on his hands than any other CEO, or...- Exemplary
Anyone not condemning this is a fucking idiot without strong morals convictions. Murder is wrong, this is wrong. If you think this CEO had any more blood on his hands than any other CEO, or anywhere close to any US president.
Does UHC deny claims? Yes, is that bad? Maybe, we don't have single payer, coverage is plan specific. The median person is being denied more based on the plan their employer bought, it's not like UHC just up and decides on their own.
Is tildes such a left wing echo chamber that everyone here is basically saying "I won't condemn this"???? Billionaires don't get there without a system that enables them, this won't change anything, it won't change the denial rates, it won't even have a material impact on UHCs business, all it accomplishes is killing one man. Two kids are without a father, do you think they feel safe? What in the everloving fuck have your moral compasses gone
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Comment on Looking for slim wallet recommendations in ~life.style
Mullin LinkI use the slim wallet from Galen Leather for about 5 years and really love it. It's the only wallet that got me away from using a small binder clip, which I used for probably 15+ years. I kinda...I use the slim wallet from Galen Leather for about 5 years and really love it. It's the only wallet that got me away from using a small binder clip, which I used for probably 15+ years. I kinda hate all the aluminum/plastic/nylon type card holders honestly, I don't want to have to do whatever to slide my cards out as a brick of cards to fiddle with. With this I pull it out of my pocket, easily slide out my credit card with the thumb I grab it with, and I'm done. Cannot recommend it enough. The company is known for their notebook holders, which my wife has had for a solid 7-10 years and they hold up. It won't ship fast, and sometimes certain colors are out of stock, but it's absolutely worth it over whatever the latest nfc blocking techbro startup metal thingy that you're going to inevitably step on one day like a Lego brick lol.
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Comment on I think I'm moving to Austin, TX in ~life
Mullin Link ParentComparing a suburb to Manhattan isn't and apples to apples comparison though. And no, the types of food and people are not that dissimilar across the major cities, I feel like you aren't talking...Comparing a suburb to Manhattan isn't and apples to apples comparison though. And no, the types of food and people are not that dissimilar across the major cities, I feel like you aren't talking to people that live there if you think that. I have a very large friend group strewn all over the country, LA, NYC, Seattle, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, St. Louis......they are not that different. There are certainly going to be some differences, but the experience is honest to god pretty similar. America is a large melting pot and the cities are even more so. You can find Vietnamese food in Houston or Chicago or LA and if the place is good, the quality is going to be similar, as an example. It's ridiculous to think the way you are talking. "Southerner" is not a thing that someone living in San Antonio or Houston would identify as in the stereotypical way.
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Comment on I think I'm moving to Austin, TX in ~life
Mullin Link ParentI think this is generally untrue. Having been to most major cities in the US and living in Houston....they're all pretty similar? LA does not feel markedly different (excluding weather) than...I think this is generally untrue. Having been to most major cities in the US and living in Houston....they're all pretty similar? LA does not feel markedly different (excluding weather) than Houston does, or Boston does, large cities have almost all of the same trappings. Some will be better or worse on things like public transit, but you'll find at least politically and culturally, the people who like to live in urban environments are going to be similar, the people who live in the suburbs are going to be similar, and the people in the rural areas are going to be similar, across the entirety of the country. I'm not sure which states you meant, but crossing state lines to any of Texas' neighbors isn't going to feel very different.
To the OP....more power to you, but Austin isn't a city I would want to live in, it's perfectly fine to visit, but the cedar fever and the traffic keeps me from considering it as a serious place I'd want to settle down. But it has a nice food and bar scene, and UT is cool. Plenty of stuff to do. Not sure what part of Texas you were moving from. I think it'll be a marked improvement compared to say DFW, but likely not San Antonio, Houston is it's own kinda vibe compared to Austin, but they're fairly close I suppose. If you're still there the next time I visit we can grab a beer!
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Comment on What toothpaste do you use? in ~life.style
Mullin Link ParentIt may have those, but the flavor is a pretty subtle mint, if I'd even say it has flavor at all. Yeah I'm curious what others think, I love it but obviously the cost puts a lot of my friends off lolIt may have those, but the flavor is a pretty subtle mint, if I'd even say it has flavor at all. Yeah I'm curious what others think, I love it but obviously the cost puts a lot of my friends off lol
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Comment on What toothpaste do you use? in ~life.style
Mullin LinkI use the Dr. Jen superpaste, it was one of the few I found that had both nano-hap and fluoride. It's pricey, but I like it a lot, it's an inoffensive flavor, the tube lasts me a while, and it has...I use the Dr. Jen superpaste, it was one of the few I found that had both nano-hap and fluoride. It's pricey, but I like it a lot, it's an inoffensive flavor, the tube lasts me a while, and it has kept my teeth feeling better and cleaner than every other toothpaste I'd use, including novomin ones. My dentist has noticed and commented on how much better my gingivitis was, and to me my teeth look white than they ever did when in was using whitening toothpastes (which are generally bad for your teeth). I recommend to everyone I know, the downside is it is actually, actually paste, it's super thick and hard to squeeze out of the tube, it wouldn't be ideal if you have arthritis.
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Comment on Activision and Call of Duty have published a paper detailing skill based matchmaking and how its presence or absence affects enjoyment of games in ~games
Mullin Link ParentYeah I couldn't recall if it did but I assumed it had some implementation of it, but it was baaaaad, I've never dropped as many hundred kill games in any other CoD, including ones where tac nuke...Yeah I couldn't recall if it did but I assumed it had some implementation of it, but it was baaaaad, I've never dropped as many hundred kill games in any other CoD, including ones where tac nuke ends the game lol. It could have just been having such a massive player base.
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Comment on Activision and Call of Duty have published a paper detailing skill based matchmaking and how its presence or absence affects enjoyment of games in ~games
Mullin Link ParentWell it's kinda like, I wasn't really thinking of StarCraft specifically, but as an example Brood War Zerg vs Zerg can be pretty coinflip-y and very insta-loss, that doesn't mean the better player...Well it's kinda like, I wasn't really thinking of StarCraft specifically, but as an example Brood War Zerg vs Zerg can be pretty coinflip-y and very insta-loss, that doesn't mean the better player can't win, but if you compare it to TvP the "better" player wins less of the time in ZvZ, and none of the pros have a great win rate, which isn't true in the other matchups. Or in Halo where lower than Onyx people are just bad mechanically, and win or lose their fights whether they happened to miss that time or not, and the same for their opponents. In Splatoon as well as an example I'd talk to players that were hard stuck before X rank despite having a thousand hours of ladder, and I'd definitely say that splatoon's matchmaking is almost anti-skill development, and essentially 100% of competitive players play customs/scrims or are in discords for +1 in order to actually improve, and then it becomes a problem of a walled garden and you must be this good to even get an invite. At a certain point I think I prefer just a single matchmaking queue that everyone is thrown into, like Cod4, which was insanely popular even without SBMM (or certainly not as aggressive because that game was pub stomp central for me). I think if you make a fun game people of all skill levels can enjoy it win or lose. Hell I feel that way about like bowling or golf or laser tag.
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Comment on Activision and Call of Duty have published a paper detailing skill based matchmaking and how its presence or absence affects enjoyment of games in ~games
Mullin Link ParentCounterpoint though: most everyone who played competitive StarCraft (BW or 2) got considerably better from private matches or KOTHs against much better skilled players than any ladder. Ladder was...Counterpoint though: most everyone who played competitive StarCraft (BW or 2) got considerably better from private matches or KOTHs against much better skilled players than any ladder. Ladder was mostly for bragging rights and gaining experience. At a certain point it's better to see or experience the highest level of the game vs playing only ever with people near your skill level. That is no guarantee of skill progression, as people can fall into local maxima or the random variance could end up deciding matches vs concrete improvements.
SBMM is not new nor is Activision's implementation of it, or Microsoft's trueskill2. I think it's fine but what particularly gets me is when the casual and competitive playlists both use SBMM I feel like I cannot escape the meta game, and I cease to understand the differences or purposes in the playlists. That said I'm a high skill player, so they are aware of my complaints, I guess. I don't super care about stomping people or not, I like higher quality games, but it's disconcerting to not have any opportunity to play relaxed or casually unless I smurf, which I'd like to avoid.
I also went with the sleep on latex mattress and it's the best one I've had so far. I loved it as is but my wife found it slightly too firm so I got a thick wool mattress topper and it feels like a 5 star hotel. It's so much cooler and more comfortable than the old memory foam mattress it replaced, and it's been great for my back (and hers, though she wouldn't admit that). I would also support building your own as you suggested, to really dial in what you want. The one downside of the mattress was good god was it heavy, trying to push 200lbs of mattress in the cardboard up the stairs by myself was a chore. Worth it though.