Chemslayer's recent activity
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Comment on What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga) in ~anime
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Comment on Fix your hearts or die: The path to liberation for lonely men is feminism in ~life
Chemslayer Link ParentHey, I had some thoughts on your rhetorical. For the sake of my argument, let's assume the statistics you originally provided are true (I don't necessarily think they are, but lots of other people...Hey, I had some thoughts on your rhetorical. For the sake of my argument, let's assume the statistics you originally provided are true (I don't necessarily think they are, but lots of other people have engaged with that already).
So, there's these two statistics: black men & violence, and men & sexual assault. In a vacuum, they are both numbers, and they are both similarly disproportionate. So, why is one bad, and one okay, to accept? (Simplified labeling here).
I think the crux of the issue is how these statistics (and similar) are both used, and how their root causes are handled. Let's take black men & violence: as a surface level statistic, it is used as a racist dog whistle to paint black people (esp men) as overly-violent, to justify their mistreatment. Now let's look at Men & SA: at a surface level, it is used by women as justification for actions they take, usually in their own safety (carrying mace, not walking alone, etc). As a "good guy" it does feel bad to have someone you don't know just assume you're dangerous, so I definitely get that feeling discriminated, but there's a difference here between actions be done to you (state-sanctioned violence against black people) vs actions being done because of you (women being generally less trusting and the various actions stemming from that).
And now let's dig a layer deeper, to see if we can find the "causes" to try and "solve" them. Disclaimer: while I am generally aware of both issues, I'm an expert on neither, so apologies if I get some core issues wrong here.
For black men & violence, a large part of that number goes back to the relatively low-income aspect of black people (at least in the USA); when you're unable to get your basic needs met by the usual channels, you're more likely to do crime, incl violent crime. So is the issue black men are just naturally inclined to be more poor? No, not really; basic history of the country, esp post civil war, shows all the ways black people were legally and illegally kept from being able to build the foundations for family wealth in the same wayz white people were (redlining, bombing of black wall street, lots more). So the core here is the racist treatment of black people, which has had this downstream effect of disproportionate violent crime. Stopping before the core ("black people are naturally more violent!" or "Black people are naturally more poor!") is failing to address the real issues, and instead substituting racist beliefs. The statistic could have real-world use (for example, you could probably have anger management classes aimed at black teens and men as part of a larger social net of services and programs to try and address this particular effect), but that's not what it's used for, it's almost always used as "Black People Bad". And importantly, Black people cannot solve this core issue themselves; while they can (and do) need to play a part, our current structures will not allow them to succeed alone, and in fact will violently resist it (see black wall street, ICE, etc).
Now let's look at Men & SA: while there may be some biological differences, none are so stark to make up for such a large statistic. So going one layer deeper: the culture below our actions has informed our decisions on how to act, as any culture does. So men are not naturally more-sexually violent: they are conditioned by our society to believe several things: sex is good and you need it, a purpose of women is to provide for this need, and plenty more. So the core issue is this Patriarchy. And unlike the racism directed at black men, patriarchy is something inside of us, and while we can certainly receive help from women or other men, ultimately we have to do the work within ourselves to change.
Now, no man alive is responsible for the creation of our patriarchal society, in the same way no black man is responsible for the racial society. But an important distinction here is: every man does benefit from patriarchy, whether you want to or not. Feminists of all genders do work to try and dismantle patriarchy in several ways, but much in the same way that black men can't solve that issue alone, women can't either; we men also need to pitch in, and part of that is recognizing that we have Patriarchy within us too.
So, on a superficial level it's easy to think "why is one of these progressive-bad, and the other progressive-good", but once you've dived into what each statistic is asking, and represents, you can see how they are different.
If you're looking for a good man-focused book on feminism and patriarchy, I'd suggest The Will to Change by Bell Hooks; she's a long-standing woman feminist, and wrote this book for a lot of the reasons you mentioned: we need the men too, and we need to help them too.
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Comment on Slop and guilt in ~talk
Chemslayer LinkI wanna chip in here with my own experience and path. I'm a cis-man, and I also still identify as a man. I have kind of a similar feelings as you, where I could probably be non-binary (although I...The second and I think bigger part is that it's literally made for like 8 year old girls. Uhhh, and there's kind of no way around that I think? Like that just feels embarrassing to watch for me. For context, I am kinda basically a guy even tho I am also probably more feminine than most (maybe it'd be fairer to myself to say that I am nonbinary, but you know, if you are nonbinary in a forest where no one can see you are you really nonbinary? yes? yes. but also I am just perceived as just a guy by most people so lets keep it simple.), it still feels basically illegal to like something like this as an adult guy.
I wanna chip in here with my own experience and path. I'm a cis-man, and I also still identify as a man. I have kind of a similar feelings as you, where I could probably be non-binary (although I find myself more relating to being very-binary: if I could flip a switch and flop from man to woman and back at will, that would fit me more I think than being somewhere in the middle), but I'm already mostly looking like a dude and it's mote convenient (and has more privileges) to just stay that way.
Anyway, something that's helped me a lot in the last few years is just trying things, and deciding whether or not I like them, and not worrying too much about "who they're for". I started wearing feminine clothes, mostly skirts and the occasional dress, two-ish years ago and decided I loved them. I tried painting my nails, and decided that wasnt for me. I like to do my hair now, even if my tools are scavenged and my techniques basic, it makes me feel a lot more cute and confident in myself.
This has been true for media too. I've been pushing my boundaries, and finding things I truly love that would be seen as "embarrassing" otherwise. I read (or rather audio-book listened to) Pride and Prejudice for the first time, and discovered I really enjoyed romance as a genre. I very much enjoyed Steven Universe, which is both literally made for children and all about feelings. I tried Shojo mangas (aka mangas literally aimed at pre-teen girls, usually super sappy and tropey romances) and enjoyed them for their cuteness and naivete, and from that experience led me to one of my favorite all-time romances Love is War (rec'd by another tilderino here Trobador), which 5 years ago me wouldnt have tried to touch.
Basically let yourself enjoy the things you want to enjoy, and if you don't have any irl people to share that enjoyment with, the internet is wonderful: I've really enjoyed the recurring threads (for me on ~books, ~anime, and ~games) where I get to share what I'm liking and maybe talk to other people about it.
To the other point in your post: it's okay to enjoy and consume "slop"! (Aka low-effort-to-consume content). I personally still keep Instagram around, even if reels are kinda the bottom of the barrel, because sometimes that's what hits. I think the only important part is to make sure you don't only consume slop. Basically, I think of it like candy, or chips; it is great and enjoyable and a pleasure you should get to have in your life! But if you eat nothing but candy you will be sick. But some days/weeks, you are so tired, and your depression is acting up, and it's all you can do to eat some chips 3 times a day, and that's okay. Above all else, allow yourself to be weak when you need it, and focus on gaining strength and wholesomeness once you can.
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Comment on Slay the Spire 2 | Early Access trailer in ~games
Chemslayer Link ParentI think maybe there's a slight misunderstanding, as we're both suggesting the same thing haha. (Also, the existence of the MT1 clans in MT2 is kind of a spoiler, it's a dramatic reveal and I...I think maybe there's a slight misunderstanding, as we're both suggesting the same thing haha.
(Also, the existence of the MT1 clans in MT2 is kind of a spoiler, it's a dramatic reveal and I personally lost my mind when it happened, so I don't quite know how to handle telling people when recommending just starting with MT2 lol. Then again, if you didn't play MT1 you won't have the nostalgia to make said reveal exciting in the same way anyhow so)
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Comment on Slay the Spire 2 | Early Access trailer in ~games
Chemslayer Link ParentNot the person you asked, but if you don't mind me giving me input re: Monster Train: IMO, Slay the Spire is the better designed game, the cards and mechanics all seem so well put together and the...Not the person you asked, but if you don't mind me giving me input re: Monster Train:
IMO, Slay the Spire is the better designed game, the cards and mechanics all seem so well put together and the decision lines are greased so well, truly a masterpiece. However, I think of the two I actually have more fun with Monster Train.
There are some standout differences, the pseudo-tower-defense aspect of placing units, the mix and match of the clans, etc. The main difference though, and how I usually describe it, is this: in StS, you are carefully building your synergies and choices, and if you do well there's the occasional bonkers run, but mostly you just do well and are strong. Monster Train, on the other hand, asks you to break the game over your knee as a matter of the usual gameplay loop. There are some absolutely filthy combos you can make with different units, spells, upgrade slots, and relics. On higher "ascensions" (covenants), I usually die at the first miniboss or two, or get online and crush mercilessly, with few in-between. It's a matter of taste either way, but I personally enjoy the high-power high-synergy gameplay of MT more. (Although again, I love StS as well).
As a note, Monster Train 2 is basically everything MT1 is, and much more. If you are just getting into the series, I'd really just suggest skipping to the second one. You really don't miss anything on the mechanics end worth missing, and you can read a summary of the story if that captivates you (although IMO MT story is fine and serviceable but not particularly compelling, in either narrative or world-building).
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
Chemslayer Link ParentOh I loved The Expanse! I did ebooks rather than audiobooks, but the series is so charming and enjoyable, probably my favorite sci-fi series to date. Funny enough I think the second was the...Oh I loved The Expanse! I did ebooks rather than audiobooks, but the series is so charming and enjoyable, probably my favorite sci-fi series to date. Funny enough I think the second was the weakest, still good but it feels a little out of place in the narrative (the 1, 3rd and 4th form the opening trilogy imo, and the 2nd is like a side quest; still has important lore and whatnot, and of course Bobby! But just know it gets better)
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
Chemslayer Link ParentI've loved the series, I'm currently caught up on Stormlight and it's also the only Sanderson I've read. Imo the books don't have prose that's anything special, it's fine as you've noted but I...I've loved the series, I'm currently caught up on Stormlight and it's also the only Sanderson I've read. Imo the books don't have prose that's anything special, it's fine as you've noted but I wouldn't call any of it particularly clever wordplay or evocative imagery. Where the series stands out to me is in the character design and development, especially over the course of the books, and the mystery/world building that gets doled out. I became highly invested in the characters and figuring out what was going on and what was happening as the series continued.
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Comment on Best of Humble Bundle: Beamdog & Owlcat: RPG Masters (pay what you want and help charity) in ~games
Chemslayer Link ParentAh yes, shoulda been more careful with the auto-gen title. Man, I remember the days of literal 1 cent humble bundles (or $1 for steam keys haha)Ah yes, shoulda been more careful with the auto-gen title. Man, I remember the days of literal 1 cent humble bundles (or $1 for steam keys haha)
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Comment on Humble Bundle Books: (Almost) the entirety of Discworld for $16 in ~books
Chemslayer Link ParentMake sure you check out this other thread I posted not too long ago about other places to get e-book bundles! While several people kind of ignored the post and suggested pirate sites, there were...Make sure you check out this other thread I posted not too long ago about other places to get e-book bundles! While several people kind of ignored the post and suggested pirate sites, there were quite a few good suggestions! Humble still has the most consistently high quality ones so far, but I've nabbed a few interesting bits from other sites since
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
Chemslayer Link ParentHa! I look forward to necro-ing that year old thread, thanks for the shout!Ha! I look forward to necro-ing that year old thread, thanks for the shout!
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Comment on Humble Bundle Books: (Almost) the entirety of Discworld for $16 in ~books
Chemslayer (edited )Link ParentHonestly, while I also hate DRM, I can understand having some, as unfortunately the grand majority of consumers don't care about the ethics of supporting artists etc, and just want it however is...Honestly, while I also hate DRM, I can understand having some, as unfortunately the grand majority of consumers don't care about the ethics of supporting artists etc, and just want it however is cheapest and easiest. That being said, I still think a DRM-free world would function just fine, but I can see how business types would get nervous.
DRM-lite I find is a good compromise. It has some barrier to entry, but it's so small. So Adobe-DRM gets a pass from me, while still allowing publishers and storefronts to point and say "see we're making sure it's protected!". What I cannot tolerate is things like Amazon, where they continue to go out of their way to patch even extremely roundabout methods to jailbreak books; this does nothing to dedicated pirates, who will find a way anyway, but greatly hurts casual book archivists, who just want to ensure they can read their own books forever. They've constantly broken the gentleman's agreement to not be too harsh on the DRM, which is why I broke up with them and don't buy any books from them anymore.
All that being said, I always like to buy my books, even for dead authors etc, it just feels more legitimate for me. But I do not turn up my nose at anyone pirating for pretty much any reason; the landscape is fucked, and I'm not gonna fight any little guys when there's corps polluting it constantly.
For my ebooks, I basically use the judgement that if I would reasonably lend you a physical book, I have no issue "lending" you my digital books. I keep all of mine in a regularly backed-up Google drive, and share with my housemates openly. And then there's cases like this, where I'll give you the DRM free versions with your purchase (basically just saving you time to learn how to do that, you're still buying the bundle after all), or in the case of completely unreasonable nonsense like region blocking circumventing that bs, while having the benefit of more money going to charities too.
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
Chemslayer LinkThe City We Became by N K Jemisin. Overview: When Cities get old enough, they become actual metaphysical creatures, with a human avatar. New York gets born this way, but because NY is NY, it gets...The City We Became by N K Jemisin.
Overview: When Cities get old enough, they become actual metaphysical creatures, with a human avatar. New York gets born this way, but because NY is NY, it gets six avatars instead of the usual one, one for NY and one for each of the 5 boroughs. Also, there's an evil thing that tries to eat baby cities!
I'm about 70% of the way through, and it's been fun so far. I wish I had more knowledge of NYC (I've never even been there), as there's obviously a lot of emphasis placed on the cultures and soul of the city and it's various boroughs that I am only passingly familiar with, but even then it's continued to be great and has some good commentary.
[As a side-note not related to the book itself necessarily: there's a much larger proportion of BIPOC/queer/otherwise marginalized characters, especially main characters, and Im finding myself still being surprised by this. It's just a marker of my white privilege that I'm used to most characters being white/straight coded, or if they are something else it's more a footnote rather than core to how they act. I'm going to try and read more black/BIPOC/queer authors to work on this myself.]Related to the sidenote above, a housemate and I are working through Me and White Supremacy by Layla F Saad, the workbook for people with white privilege to help unpack and work on stuff. We're both white dudes, so there's been a lot so far. We're only a few chapters in at this point. Happy to discuss chapters with any peeps who want to work on it together, if there's interest.
The Hundred Years War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi. Picked this one up as I'm generally aware of the situation in Palestine, but realized I didn't know any of the history or details, so I googled some reading lists and picked this one. Only halfway through the first chapter and I've already learned a lot (I thought Israel was a post WWII invention, but turns out it's been cooking since the late 1800s). Heavily detailed and footnoted historical account. It is political (as any history book must be), but I think it does a fair job of presenting the historical complications and pressures that led to the situation today. (Or, again, to the 1920s so far, as that's what I've read).
In lighter news in comic land, I'm reading some Cyberpunk comics I got off the Humble Bundle still running. Trauma Team by Cullen Bunn et al was a really captivating read, it's real short (less than 100 comic pages) but it really captures the feel and hopelessness that makes cyberpunk (the genre) so interesting to me. Neat to see more Trauma Team too, as you barely get to view them in the game, and they are one of the more interesting corporate-dystopia aspects imo.
In Manga Land, working my way through Lone Wolf and Cub on volume 11. This is a beautiful series, it really drips with subtle and complex feelings and characters, would highly recommend. [One trigger warning: the series does feature many instances and depictions of sexual assault and rape, always at women. The main character never does, and it's never glorified, exclusively done by evil dudes to show how evil and awful they are, but it is there, so if that's something you can't see you may want to steer clear.]
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Comment on Humble Comics Bundle: The Witcher + Cyberpunk by Dark Horse in ~comics
Chemslayer Link ParentDecided to pick it up based on your recommendation, only read trauma team so far but that was really good! If even a few others of these are the same quality I'll consider it highly worth the...Decided to pick it up based on your recommendation, only read trauma team so far but that was really good! If even a few others of these are the same quality I'll consider it highly worth the money. Thanks for giving your input!
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Comment on Best of Humble Bundle: Beamdog & Owlcat: RPG Masters (pay what you want and help charity) in ~games
Chemslayer LinkPosting here, the only game I have personal experience with is Rogue Trader (you can sniff through my recent posts to see how I feel, its very good). Worth noting that Rogue Trader can currently...Posting here, the only game I have personal experience with is Rogue Trader (you can sniff through my recent posts to see how I feel, its very good). Worth noting that Rogue Trader can currently be had elsewhere for $14 right now, so if that's all you want you should probably just grab that alone, but I've heard good things about the other games here and if other people can endorse this is probably an amazing bundle.
Note that this doesn't come with the season pass (aka the first two DLCs), which I'd highly recommend, maybe for $7 at that cheap shark link?
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Best of Humble Bundle: Beamdog & Owlcat: RPG Masters (pay what you want and help charity)
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Comment on Humble Bundle Books: (Almost) the entirety of Discworld for $16 in ~books
Chemslayer Link ParentIt's a fantasy world (magic, heroes, etc), but it doesn't take itself seriously at all. It's full of dry-wit British style, clever wordplay, and absurd but fun characters. The setting has defined...It's a fantasy world (magic, heroes, etc), but it doesn't take itself seriously at all. It's full of dry-wit British style, clever wordplay, and absurd but fun characters. The setting has defined structures and rules, but also the rules are never allowed to get in the way of telling a fun story. It subverts traditional fantasy tropes in lots of interesting ways. And the series has many bits of morality and wisdom that comment on our society as a whole (the "$50 boots vs $10 boots theory" about how being poor is way more expensive than being rich, is from one of these books). They are light and easy reads; the stakes are never high, even when they are world-shattering, because the tone of the world is just set up to be humorous. But they still maintain compelling narratives.
Note that there's several "sub-series" within the series, and you can ready any book in almost any order. If you do decide to read in published order like I did, note the first book is way weirder, as it was essentially him just writing a bunch of random goofs, before deciding apparently that the setting had real legs and making the rest of his books have actual coherence. (I really enjoyed that first book still but it is very random)
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Comment on Humble Bundle Books: (Almost) the entirety of Discworld for $16 in ~books
Chemslayer (edited )Link ParentFuck em. If you live in the UK or somewhere else that's region locked, DM me and I can give you the books. I ask that you give $16 to a charity of your choice, but I won't ask for any proof or...- Exemplary
Fuck em. If you live in the UK or somewhere else that's region locked, DM me and I can give you the books. I ask that you give $16 to a charity of your choice, but I won't ask for any proof or anything, NOTAFLOF. Edit: to be clear, this is an available offer for anyone affected, not just the person I replied to. Region-locking books from a dead author has actually made me mad, the greed of it all
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Comment on Humble Bundle Books: (Almost) the entirety of Discworld for $16 in ~books
Chemslayer (edited )Link Parent/offtopic Fun personal fact: this bundle in its original run is what taught me about Calibre, and De-DRM'ing my ebooks, in the first place! I purchased the bundle, was very upset upon learning I.../offtopic
Fun personal fact: this bundle in its original run is what taught me about Calibre, and De-DRM'ing my ebooks, in the first place! I purchased the bundle, was very upset upon learning I couldn't use them on my Kindle, and some googling later I'm now an e-book
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Comment on Humble Bundle Books: (Almost) the entirety of Discworld for $16 in ~books
Chemslayer LinkHumble brought back this amazing Bundle! Discworld is one of the best silly fantasy genres, I've been reading them in published order over the years and just recently finished book 8 and have...Humble brought back this amazing Bundle! Discworld is one of the best silly fantasy genres, I've been reading them in published order over the years and just recently finished book 8 and have enjoyed all of them immensely. The entire series for the cost of a burrito bowl may very well be the best ROI on art you will ever get!
Note a few quirks of the bundle:
It is missing two books, The Last Hero (which is a coffee-table picture book and doesn't seem to have any available e-book version), and Raising Steam (inexplicably, as it seems to be just another discworld book?). So if you want to be a completionist you gotta do a teeny bit more work/purchasing.
Second, this bundle uses Kobo DRM, which means you have to use one of their readers/apps or AdobeDRM. Thankfully, AdobeDRM is so easy to break as to be almost trivial, happy to give any tutorials if people want it. (Or, if you are a busy boy without that kind of time, DM me with a proof of purchase and I'm happy to share my Drive link of the books I've already cleaned).
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Humble Bundle Books: (Almost) the entirety of Discworld for $16
37 votes
Still working through Lone Wolf and Cub, a quarter the way through volume 12. The series continues to be profound/poignant, and I'm really loving it. Hard to believe I'm less than half-way through (there's 28 volumes total), part of me worries the story will "end" but then get dragged out for a while to keep up sales, but I guess I'll see!