chroma's recent activity
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Comment on On creation for creation's sake in ~talk
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Comment on On creation for creation's sake in ~talk
chroma Link ParentHah yeah, I totally agree with you and @feanne. I've actually done game development before, but that was 7 or 8 years ago. I understand what you mean when you say it gives you the ability to...Hah yeah, I totally agree with you and @feanne. I've actually done game development before, but that was 7 or 8 years ago. I understand what you mean when you say it gives you the ability to explore whatever you want; in fact that's what drew me into it a long time ago, and that's why I'm thinking of doing it again.
Maybe a game jam would be nice. Haven't done one, but I've done hackathons for unrelated subjects, and it's been a positive experience.
I dunno, for me I think there's a divide between "small games can be fulfilling" and "I have an idea that means something to me, I want to make it happen" that I haven't learned how to cross. Maybe thinking of the smaller stuff as intermediate steps towards the larger project would help, but I can't help but become disinterested in the smaller stuff quickly... hence my post, haha.
Anyway, I appreciate the encouragement. How'd you stumble upon game development? You seem to be very passionate about it.
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Comment on On creation for creation's sake in ~talk
chroma Link ParentOh, that sounds cool! I've only run into the topic of ROM hacking a few times, but it seems like a wacky mix of reverse engineering, low level programming, and game development. The idea of a base...Oh, that sounds cool! I've only run into the topic of ROM hacking a few times, but it seems like a wacky mix of reverse engineering, low level programming, and game development. The idea of a base game already being there certainly makes the process seem less daunting.
How'd you get into this? And what idea did you have for a game originally that translated into a ROM hack? Sounds fun.
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On creation for creation's sake
I want to make a game. ... is what I've been telling myself for the past few weeks. Honestly, I might have subconsciously had this thought for the past few months, if not years. Strange as it...
I want to make a game.
... is what I've been telling myself for the past few weeks. Honestly, I might have subconsciously had this thought for the past few months, if not years.
Strange as it sounds, I've gone on a weird mental journey in getting to the point where I'm able to acknowledge this desire. I've always had a vague, constant urge to be creative, but for the past few years, this urge has been tied to an outcome: "I want to write a JS library because it'll make for a cool product later"; something like that. Inevitably, having that outcome in mind makes me set a standard of perfection for what the thing is supposed to be, which makes me start planning every piece of the thing, which... tires me out, and then I just don't do it.
I'd say I've been better about this recently, in that I'll sometimes do one-off things because it seems like fun at the time. Small coding projects that serve no purpose at all. I randomly got into drawing for a week, so the day's drawing for that week. Rediscovering this process has been fun, and it's definitely been fulfilling to just marvel at my work without having to check off boxes for what the thing is supposed to do.
But now, I've got the idea that I want to make a game. A game isn't a small project, or at least not as small as what I've been working on recently. I'm pretty sure my motivation for wanting to do this is entirely intrinsic: I just want to do it, I don't want to sell it, I don't care if nobody plays it. And yet, I'm still finding it pretty hard to do anything.
Firstly, I don't have much time during the week to work on this game; I also work full-time. Second, when I do have time, I find it pretty hard to make any progress. A game isn't small, so I feel the need to plan stuff out, even just roughly. Which is what I do at work. So then it just feels like work. I tire of planning pretty quickly, and I think I've come to conflate this tired feeling with burnout at work, so I just stop and scroll on the internet.
Sometimes I'm able to focus and just write something without planning. It's nice when I'm able to do this, but inevitably I start thinking about the bigger picture... "Okay, the protagonist feels X because the theme I'm going for is Y, which..." and then the planning starts again.
Anyway, this is all a very long way to say that I struggle with creating for creation's sake, partly because budgeting my time as a full-time laborer is hard, and partly because I have trouble seeing the trees for the forest, so to speak. Have you all ever had to deal with this? I'm curious to know what's helped you, or just your thoughts on the topic/my situation.
Cheers!
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Comment on Happy Leap Day in ~tech
chroma Link ParentProbably something to do with date arithmetic? For example, daylight saving time in Cuba begins at midnight on March 11th of this year, so: import DateTime from "my-date-library"; let date =...Probably something to do with date arithmetic? For example, daylight saving time in Cuba begins at midnight on March 11th of this year, so:
import DateTime from "my-date-library"; let date = DateTime.date("2024-03-12", { timestamp: "00:00", locale: "cuba/CU" })/; // midnight the day after DST date.subtract({ hours: 24 }); print(date.format("yyyy-MM-dd")); // "2024-3-10" print(date.format("yyyy-MM-dd, hh:mm")); // "2024-3-10, 23:00"We've just subtracted 24 hours, or 1 day. But we went back 2 days, because there were only 23 hours on March 11, not 24. Thus, "32 days" in March.
I haven't really thought about the semantics of writing a date library too much until now, but my guess is the right approach is to always calculate dates in absolute units from the beginning of time*", separately keep tabs on when DST is supposed to start in a given locale, and calculate the appropriate date representation based on whether or not it's DST.
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Comment on How to center a div in ~comp
chroma LinkWhen I was first learning CSS, I remember purchasing a "Flexbox Zombies" educational game which, well, taught you CSS flexbox. I think it was by David Geddes. I found it so effective that I...When I was first learning CSS, I remember purchasing a "Flexbox Zombies" educational game which, well, taught you CSS flexbox. I think it was by David Geddes. I found it so effective that I haven't forgotten, 7 years later, and with my career now quite removed from frontend development, haha.
Nowadays flexbox is the only "complicated" thing I really memorize from CSS. I flail when it comes to a lot of other things. I never grokked grid.
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Comment on The lame racehorse in ~talk
chroma (edited )Link ParentHey, for context, I've read through your comments (and others') in this topic, but what I'd like to share I feel is particularly relevant to this question here: I'd like to start by saying I've...- Exemplary
Hey, for context, I've read through your comments (and others') in this topic, but what I'd like to share I feel is particularly relevant to this question here:
how do I give myself months or years?
I'd like to start by saying I've been in your position before; not verbatim, but quite similar. I set out to be a software engineer at 23 after being depressed about my (non-SE) major in college. I took a job I hated in an unrelated field, worked very long hours in that job, and taught myself how to code with whatever time I had left. This was very difficult for me, but at the same time it wasn't. Software was my passion, and at the time, this aspiration to become a software engineer gave is what brought me meaning.
Long story short, I was successful. Through a lot of effort and some luck, I landed a job at a startup who wanted to take a chance on me. Once I got my job, I did not pump the brakes. I threw myself into my new career even harder; if the aspiration to become a software engineer brought meaning, then actually being one gave me, like, meaning x10. 10x engineer, all that stuff.
I do not at all mean to come off as arrogant with any of what follows; I excelled at my job. The first few features I shipped were rough, but after that, I knew I was hot shit. People told me I was hot shit. I was making way more money than at that other job I hated. Everything around me was positive reinforcement, so I continued to just throw myself at this job.
Of course, I started to burn out eventually. I don't need to go into much detail about how that went, because you described it yourself in the original post, way better than I could have. But when everything started to unravel for me, I felt tired, helpless, overwhelmed, all of that, but above all, I felt resentful. It sounds like you also feel that way.
Everything I was working for gradually started to feel like it was for nothing. Who cares about this stupid feature? The product? What am I actually contributing to? Why can't we do things the right way? Why can't I find an industry I actually care about? Why am I spinning my wheels and wasting my life on something I don't even find fulfilling?
During this time, I was also searching for a solution or an escape from my burnout. I tried throwing myself into some hobbies, including some old ones I'd abandoned when I was grinding for this job. I tried rekindling friendships with people I'd alienated. I tried putting more effort into my relationship. This all felt like a step in the right direction. But I was not making much progress. What was the point?
I will fast forward. To summarize: I'm still at this same job, and I'm doing better. I was successful in rekindling my hobbies and friendships, but that one relationship didn't work out. You may be thinking, "well that's great Chroma, you managed to find balance in your life. I wish I could do that. I don't have the months or years to take a sabbatical to find enlightenment like you did, though."
Sure, maybe I found balance; I didn't feel better after I found balance though. In order to find balance, I deprioritized my job and started focusing on other things. I learned how to rest and enriched other parts of my life. I fucked off on multi-week vacations multiple times per year. None of that solved my problem. While sometimes I felt recharged after X hobby or hanging out with Y friend or booking a trip to Z, at the end of the day, I felt like I was bandaiding things.
I only started to feel better and fulfilled once I changed what it meant for me to be fulfilled.
For a very long time, I was fulfilled because I sacrificed time, energy, and my sense of self in order to become a software engineer. Being good at my job was fulfilling because it was my identity. Once the pace of all of that slowed down and I was reminded that life has to suck sometimes, it stopped being fulfilling. I couldn't meet 100% of my expectations. (Also, I didn't know the reason for any of this at the time; I just knew I was sad.)
In order to define for myself what fulfillment was, I had to look inward, like you are doing now. I also realized that this feeling of burnout came and went; there were some good parts to my job, despite me being run into the ground from Monday to Friday. Why could I tolerate it sometimes?
This post is getting really long, so I'll summarize my point: Yes, I absolutely think learning to take downtime is crucial, but it isn't a complete solution. I had to zoom out and identify my self worth (with the help of many friends, family, and a therapist), then zoom back in and contemplate which parts of my job I found fulfilling, and what I could do to work with that. I conflated "working hard" and "doing meaningful work" with "being fulfilled" for a very long time. But for me, "being fulfilled" consists of many other things: Spending time with my family, dedicating time to my health, making dick jokes with friends, as well as designing resilient software, building a reliable and empathetic engineering culture, and working towards a robust internal developer platform.
So back to the reason I picked this specific quote to respond to: It did take me years to realize all of this. But I didn't spend that time meditating under a waterfall. In fact I spent a lot of it quite depressed (all of this happened at the beginning of the pandemic, lol). I only started to find answers after I separated my work ethic from my self worth.
I hope this helps, and if not, I hope it at least makes sense. Your story will be different from mine. Good luck.
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Comment on Why do we hesitate to say “I love you” to our friends? in ~life
chroma LinkFrom a straight cis male's perspective: I wonder how much of this relates to alexithymia in western society. Particularly among my male friend groups, I've observed that we have trouble...From a straight cis male's perspective: I wonder how much of this relates to alexithymia in western society. Particularly among my male friend groups, I've observed that we have trouble identifying, and definitely expressing, a wide range or intensity of emotions. This includes love: We definitely would not say "I love you" to each other. Of course, there are many reasons we'd be hesitant to do that; upbringing, individual preference, etc. But I wouldn't be surprised if, culturally, the combination of "friendship love" not commonly being explicitly expressed and alexithymia among men contributes significantly to this.
More generally, I've also observed that we have many ways to circumvent saying "I love you" to people other than our family/partners. @AgnesNutter gives plenty of examples. It seems like we're definitely communicating the emotion to our friends when we do those things, but we'd prefer to not be explicit about it, and leave the magnitude of what we're saying up to context/interpretation. I think it's a reflection of our (western, American, whatever; this is my experience, YMMV, etc.) culture.
I do think there's a difference between having the unspoken understanding of "My friend told me they appreciate me, that means they love me, they're just not saying it" and just outright saying "I love you". I think the article captures it well. To me, having to do the former is stifling.
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Comment on What silly thing do you argue about with your significant other? in ~talk
chroma Link ParentHaha yeah I've seen those. There was also a social media trend a while back where, after having instant ramen, you add egg to the broth and microwave it to make a "steamed egg". I personally don't...Haha yeah I've seen those. There was also a social media trend a while back where, after having instant ramen, you add egg to the broth and microwave it to make a "steamed egg". I personally don't care for it, but it's not offensive at all.
But yeah. My SO's microwaved eggs are just microwaved in a bowl. Usually with salt and pepper. They're like erasers.
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Comment on What silly thing do you argue about with your significant other? in ~talk
chroma Link ParentWhat ever happened to them that made them different? I was a fan as well. I saw the creator pop up on another dog's (lol) (adventuringwithnala) IG page, sounds like they're still active.What ever happened to them that made them different? I was a fan as well. I saw the creator pop up on another dog's (lol) (adventuringwithnala) IG page, sounds like they're still active.
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Comment on What silly thing do you argue about with your significant other? in ~talk
chroma Link ParentPlease friend, I will personally buy you a small skillet if it means you'll stop tainting the world with your fart-eggs.Please friend, I will personally buy you a small skillet if it means you'll stop tainting the world with your fart-eggs.
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Comment on What silly thing do you argue about with your significant other? in ~talk
chroma (edited )LinkShe will only* cook eggs in the microwave. She calls them her "famous microwaved eggs". Famous where? I don't know. Certainly nowhere I'm from. Whenever she happens to be cooking for that meal and...She will only* cook eggs in the microwave. She calls them her "famous microwaved eggs". Famous where? I don't know. Certainly nowhere I'm from.
Whenever she happens to be cooking for that meal and there's eggs involved, the default assumption is that they will be microwaved. Because "the stove takes too long". Or she's "too lazy to get out the pan". The end result is that she's saved an entire, wait for it, thirty seconds(!!) of cooking time, and our eggs are rubbery and taste like farts. I have to either fight her or beg her to please make scrambled eggs in a pan for me this time. Each time I do this, I must make the same argument that I've just put in this paragraph. It is a constant struggle.
It doesn't stop there. When I'm the one cooking, she tells me that she doesn't want me to cook the eggs on the stove. Why? Because she's lazy. But I, like most people, am not bothered by the amount of effort it takes to scramble eggs. And I, again, have to explain why microwaved eggs taste like how a dog's butt smells, and I am willing to invest the extra thirty seconds and a dirty pan to have normal tasting eggs.
SO, if you're reading this, please stop subjecting me to your famous microwaved eggs. Please do not take away from my life the simple pleasure that is enjoying eggs like a normal person. I do not want them to be famous. I do not want them to be microwaved. I just want them to be eggs.
*EDIT: My SO has forced me to explain that "she will only microwave eggs if there's a single egg involved in the meal". I myself doubt the veracity of this claim, as she has, on many occasions, offered to make us breakfast sandwiches with microwaved eggs.
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Comment on Want employees to return to the office? Then give each one an office. in ~life
chroma Link ParentThanks for this. I appreciate that the answer is simple.Thanks for this. I appreciate that the answer is simple.
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Comment on Want employees to return to the office? Then give each one an office. in ~life
chroma Link ParentThis may come off as naive. I 100% agree that "increasing chance encounters" is a poor excuse, especially if your company overwhelmingly would prefer not to return to office. I've heard a few...This may come off as naive. I 100% agree that "increasing chance encounters" is a poor excuse, especially if your company overwhelmingly would prefer not to return to office. I've heard a few times as well that it's a cover for the fact that they spent big bucks on an office nobody's using.
Genuine question, because I actually don't understand: What does people coming into the office have anything to do with real estate valuation? Is the value of an office building driven by the number of employees working in it or something? Are company leaders dealing with a sunk cost dilemma and forcing their workers to use the thing they paid for, rather than sell the property?
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Comment on Get the lowdown on 'e/acc' — Silicon Valley's favorite obscure theory about progress at all costs, which has been embraced by Marc Andreessen in ~tech
chroma Linklol... like others have said, yes, the absolute hubris and egomania required to say these words with a straight face is astounding. Tangent, as someone who was born there, grew up there, and has..."The most e/acc thing we can do is fix San Francisco. Fix San Francisco and we will create a breeding ground of ideas that will usher in a Golden Age like never before seen in history," he tweeted.
lol... like others have said, yes, the absolute hubris and egomania required to say these words with a straight face is astounding. Tangent, as someone who was born there, grew up there, and has most of my family there, and also as a software engineer working in tech, this gets to me in a weird way that's between depressing and amusing. Tone deaf statement for sure.
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Comment on Is pet ownership slavery? in ~humanities
chroma Link ParentAll due respect, did you make this post to have an actual discussion, or do you intend to have meta-arguments with everyone who has the slightest logical hole in their response? I'd love to assume...All due respect, did you make this post to have an actual discussion, or do you intend to have meta-arguments with everyone who has the slightest logical hole in their response?
I'd love to assume you argue in good faith here, but what is your point? You asked us to try to convince you otherwise. Some have tried. You are stonewalling with the angle of "this isn't a logically sound reply". So what now?
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Comment on Is pet ownership slavery? in ~humanities
chroma LinkWell, yes. You're correct. If we were to turn over every stone in the field looking for a logically sound rebuttal, we wouldn't find one. That being said... yes, and? Don't get me wrong, I'd end...Well, yes. You're correct. If we were to turn over every stone in the field looking for a logically sound rebuttal, we wouldn't find one.
That being said... yes, and? Don't get me wrong, I'd end up arguing this point too if I was beholden to arguing as if some absolute definition of a human morality existed. One does not exist. Morality is defined by cultural context. Cultures evolve, and the evolution of cultures is an NP-hard problem.
This all started because we couldn't be fucked to hunt forever, which led into agriculture, which led into animal husbandry, which proved to be an effective replacement for hunting forever. Since then, on the spectrum of "kill animals for food" to "keep animals for companionship" (and beyond, on both ends), we've done it all. And the answer to "is this morally correct" has been different depending on who you asked, when you asked, in what context you asked, and pertaining to which species you asked about.
My point is, there is no answer to whether or not it's right. Societies tend to just come up with their own answers depending on their environments, and the one that most people agree with ends up being, for example, the one written into law.
So, yes, I can't argue against your point. But I also don't see what there is to derive here. We've been figuring it out as we go the whole time.
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Comment on TIL I am sensitive to bitter foods in ~talk
chroma LinkHaha, I love when stuff like this happens. Also FWIW I don't think sparkling water is bitter either. I've got something related: I don't like arugula and never have, but I also found out maybe 8...Haha, I love when stuff like this happens. Also FWIW I don't think sparkling water is bitter either.
I've got something related: I don't like arugula and never have, but I also found out maybe 8 years ago that I don't taste arugula how other people do. I ask people all the time how it tastes to them. How does arugula taste to you?
This is what it tastes like to me.
It tastes like farts. Or rotten eggs. I think I have the "cilantro" gene, but for arugula.
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Comment on How America fell out of love with ice cream in ~food
chroma Link ParentI share in your experience and think I agree. But I live in a part of California where I've got easy access to ice cream made by small and/or diverse shops, so I wonder if this is the experience...I share in your experience and think I agree. But I live in a part of California where I've got easy access to ice cream made by small and/or diverse shops, so I wonder if this is the experience everyone in the US has? Might be harder to get "good" ice cream if you're not in a great location for it.
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~life.men
chroma Linklmao accurate I'll throw in my experience: Start with a base of toxic masculinity, add some childhood bullying, abuse, and a sprinkle of generational trauma, and you're in therapy by your late...lmao accurate
I'll throw in my experience: Start with a base of toxic masculinity, add some childhood bullying, abuse, and a sprinkle of generational trauma, and you're in therapy by your late 20s. And I'm a cis male from a middle class immigrant family; I only somewhat have it worse than the average dude.
I recently cut ties with most of a long-time friend group (of guys) because it was impossible to be any sort of vulnerable with them. They aren't bad people. But I feel more emotionally healthy after choosing to surround myself with people I could, among other things, be open about my problems with.
This is what we go through, I suppose.
What's funny is that this is how I think about things at work 😆. Your last paragraph resonates with me; the reason I can be "pragmatic" about it at work is because my job is to deliver value. But also, I think the reason I tend to over-plan for personal stuff is because high level system design (or its equivalent in game development land/whatever else I'm doing) is what I like doing most. Like, implementing sound features with sound paradigms is fun to me. Messy code makes me slightly uncomfortable when I'm in a position to do something about it, which is seldom at work for practical reasons, but 100% of the time when it's my own thing.
But yeah. Maybe this all means being a perfectionist is fun to me. 🤷