DefinitelyNotAFae's recent activity
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Comment on Serious relationship problem, seeking advice in ~life
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Comment on Serious relationship problem, seeking advice in ~life
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentOP, please don't lie to a fourth party to try to "fix" things. That's horrible advice. It makes you an asshole to another person.If things don't seem to be happening, maybe talk to the dude and say that the sister mentioned she thought the guy was cute and he should ask her out
OP, please don't lie to a
thirdfourth party to try to "fix" things. That's horrible advice. It makes you an asshole to another person. -
Comment on Serious relationship problem, seeking advice in ~life
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentPotentially, it can still be an unhealthy codependency. However ultimately I can't tell you if that's what is happening. I'd strongly suggest therapy for yourself so you can talk this through in...Potentially, it can still be an unhealthy codependency.
However ultimately I can't tell you if that's what is happening.
I'd strongly suggest therapy for yourself so you can talk this through in depth with a professional and make life plans based on that, not based on internet randos' advice.
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Comment on Serious relationship problem, seeking advice in ~life
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentIt's only incestuous if you assume the two women are having sex with each other. It's exactly the same as the affair just with consent. Polycules don't mean everyone is sexually or romantically...It's only incestuous if you assume the two women are having sex with each other. It's exactly the same as the affair just with consent. Polycules don't mean everyone is sexually or romantically involved with everyone else involved.
ETA: it's also clearly an unrealistic expectation
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Comment on A Parade of Horribles - Matt Dinniman (Dungeon Crawler Carl #8) in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentYeah I get why HWFWM wouldn't keep vibing for folks but I do just enjoy him still. Super Supportive is slow and thoughtful but I love it for that.Yeah I get why HWFWM wouldn't keep vibing for folks but I do just enjoy him still.
Super Supportive is slow and thoughtful but I love it for that.
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Comment on Serious relationship problem, seeking advice in ~life
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI think describing it as being sucked into a fantasy realm does suggest free will and thus choices being made here. Indulging in the fantasy is absolutely perpetuating the whole situation. And...I think describing it as being sucked into a fantasy realm does suggest free will and thus choices being made here.
Indulging in the fantasy is absolutely perpetuating the whole situation. And while I have a lot of empathy here, I think OP does need to keep owning that.
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Comment on Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of June 1 in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentDon't forget Demonizing immigrants overtime dehumanizes them and inures everyone else to their horrific treatment, so if/when we get to the mass slaughter phase, they get cheered on not reviled....Don't forget
- Demonizing immigrants overtime dehumanizes them and inures everyone else to their horrific treatment, so if/when we get to the mass slaughter phase, they get cheered on not reviled.
This is why I'm an unwilling agnostic. I want gods to be real, I want prayers to work. Hell I'd love it if witchcraft worked. But as much will and intent as I have currently...
Obviously it doesn't work.
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Comment on A Parade of Horribles - Matt Dinniman (Dungeon Crawler Carl #8) in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentIt is my impression that authors have to take on much more of that work than one would think, barring being a large enough name (and Matt Dinniman would not, until very recently maybe, have...It is my impression that authors have to take on much more of that work than one would think, barring being a large enough name (and Matt Dinniman would not, until very recently maybe, have qualified) to have that good of a contract. I read a number of even bigger names in genre fic having to "correct" their editors frequently.
I suspect the fact that this doesn't exist is because unlike Prime's X-ray it's so dependent on the specific work. But as an author I may not want you to be able to look things up the first, second or third time they occur. If I'm reading Jemisin's Fifth Season for example, as a reader I don't want to stop and look up every fantasy word as I go, and I think the author doesn't want that either.
Maybe there's a way to link to a (non-Fandom) wiki or something but most of those are in poor shape anyway.
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Comment on Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of June 1 in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentIt's offensive as fuck. I hate very few people. But this administration has a near monopoly on it.It's offensive as fuck. I hate very few people. But this administration has a near monopoly on it.
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Comment on A Parade of Horribles - Matt Dinniman (Dungeon Crawler Carl #8) in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentMaintaining what is sort of functionally nearly a wiki like that is actually a lot of work. If the authors prepared a detailed linked glossary as part of the book I'm sure it would be included on...Maintaining what is sort of functionally nearly a wiki like that is actually a lot of work. If the authors prepared a detailed linked glossary as part of the book I'm sure it would be included on Amazon or elsewhere (I've seen similar things).
The "Search in Book" feature does handle a lot of this.
But I also think not every word should be defined like that, it's sort of the point of reading
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Comment on A Parade of Horribles - Matt Dinniman (Dungeon Crawler Carl #8) in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentSomehow less objectification of the women in DCC than in Dresden though, despite gestures everything. (I used to like Dresden and Butcher and I just categorically do not anymore)Somehow less objectification of the women in DCC than in Dresden though, despite gestures everything.
(I used to like Dresden and Butcher and I just categorically do not anymore)
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Comment on A Parade of Horribles - Matt Dinniman (Dungeon Crawler Carl #8) in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI've had William Oh rec'd a bunch so guess it's going on my KU list. I will check in on some of the others too! I've been reading Newt and Demon (isekai'd post apocalyptic human into "cozy"...I've had William Oh rec'd a bunch so guess it's going on my KU list. I will check in on some of the others too!
I've been reading Newt and Demon (isekai'd post apocalyptic human into "cozy" alchemy world). It's cute, but there are quite a few typos. I've still read four books (and my larp character was an alchemist with horns, albeit more akin to a satyr than a demon, so I felt a kinship!)
Roverpowered - a supercharged corgi and his unsuspecting owner against the world! Or, well, the baddies.
Still reading Super Supportive and He Who Fights With Monsters, as well as The Bee Dungeon, My New Life as a Max Level Archmage, Wraithwood Botanist, The Archmage is Baking Now, Aquila, and Mother of Learning (slowly)
(RC Joshua's Demon World Boba Shop is an incredibly sweet world where people care for each other out of duty, not just to get something in return and the MC has to learn that he can stop trying to prove himself worthy. He already was.)
I aim for some quality, but I like a good time too
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Comment on Emacs bra size calculator in ~comp
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentTruly the nuclear option! Though if I was told it was the best call to have a preventative double mastectomy I'd do it in an instant. I don't need these more than I need to not have cancer! Glad...Truly the nuclear option! Though if I was told it was the best call to have a preventative double mastectomy I'd do it in an instant. I don't need these more than I need to not have cancer!
Glad it was an affirming call for you
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Comment on Emacs bra size calculator in ~comp
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI believe I already know everything I need to know. Admittedly that is nothing* *It's a text editor that lets you spend way too much time working on hacking a random thing into your emacs until...I believe I already know everything I need to know.
Admittedly that is nothing*
*It's a text editor that lets you spend way too much time working on hacking a random thing into your emacs until you have the perfect experience which you will never have because you could always add something else.
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Comment on Emacs bra size calculator in ~comp
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentYeah cup sizes are just the difference in measurement between your rib cage (band size) and the widest part of your breasts. What I like about that calculator is that it accounts for how the...Yeah cup sizes are just the difference in measurement between your rib cage (band size) and the widest part of your breasts. What I like about that calculator is that it accounts for how the breast tissue sits when you're lying down, standing, and bending over which gives a more accurate sense of how much you have and how big the cups need to be for them.
People think a C cup is a C cup rather than an entirely different sized breast depending on the band measurement. And that doesn't even include all those other fiddly individual differences
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Comment on Emacs bra size calculator in ~comp
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentOh that's a very fair criticism, I went through that phase mostly when young enough to have training bras but I doubt they make those in as many adult sizes and if you're going for a more adult...Oh that's a very fair criticism, I went through that phase mostly when young enough to have training bras but I doubt they make those in as many adult sizes and if you're going for a more adult look it prob doesn't work as well.
Team bralette all the way though in my gender apathetic 40s. I'm like an H cup and I love not having to deal with underwires, separate cups, etc.
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Comment on Emacs bra size calculator in ~comp
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI have no idea what emacs is or how to test it but since we have some concerns re:accuracy.... For folks who need a good sizing process A Bra That Fits Calculator This was life changing. Now it...I have no idea what emacs is or how to test it but since we have some concerns re:accuracy.... For folks who need a good sizing process
This was life changing.
Now it wasn't 100%, that required the little old lady at the bra fitting store to help me zero it in. But it was much better than a department store or Victoria Secret fitting.
Also when I was still buying cup sized bras I stuck to European sizes to avoid the variability that's common with American sizes. The bras were more expensive but lasted forever - and were more repairable. This also required the specialty bra shops (and then the internet)
I'm now bralette only so I've escaped the underwire and sizing stressors.
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Comment on What change would make you quit Tildes? in ~tildes
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI know that whole thread got nuked. Sigh sorryI know that whole thread got nuked. Sigh sorry
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Comment on What change would make you quit Tildes? in ~tildes
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentPlease flag such as malice. When things have been personal, that crosses a line. Fwiw I value you and your thoughts and contributionsPlease flag such as malice. When things have been personal, that crosses a line.
Fwiw I value you and your thoughts and contributions
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Comment on What change would make you quit Tildes? in ~tildes
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI understand the concern, and I responded to such myself. I just object to being dragged into it in both applicable sentences.I understand the concern, and I responded to such myself.
I just object to being dragged into it in both applicable sentences.
100%
It's already a base rule of ENM that you don't ask to open up the relationship for a specific person. OP has already gone far down the rabbit hole.
I've been in a situation similar to this, I get the fantasy of it working out. It won't. It absolutely will not.