DefinitelyNotAFae's recent activity
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Comment on Men in tech #YesAllMen in ~life.women
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentIt's short for Prudence (but may not be a nick name). I'm most familiar with it from the Great British Bake Off judge but names go in cycles so I wouldn't be surprised if it's on the rise in some way.It's short for Prudence (but may not be a nick name). I'm most familiar with it from the Great British Bake Off judge but names go in cycles so I wouldn't be surprised if it's on the rise in some way.
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentThe Fifth Element is super green!The Fifth Element is super green!
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Comment on Jeopardy! YouTube Edition | Full episode feat. Michelle Khare, Angela Giarratana, Josh Scherer in ~tv
DefinitelyNotAFae LinkI think Brennan coming out and all of the immediate dick jokes about the trophy were hilarious. Really enjoyable!I think Brennan coming out and all of the immediate dick jokes about the trophy were hilarious.
Really enjoyable!
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Comment on Meta ordered to pay $25 billion penalty in New Mexico Cambridge Analytica case in ~tech
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentJury awards often get reduced by judges either for "reasonability" or due to statute or because they don't want it overturned on appeal just because of the award. It was closer to what the...Jury awards often get reduced by judges either for "reasonability" or due to statute or because they don't want it overturned on appeal just because of the award. It was closer to what the lawmakers had asked for in this case.
The judge probably provided reasoning but it'd require court papers. I'll poke around Lawsky and see if someone talked about it
He didn't explain it apparently (there are state constitutional arguments apparently that could hurt on appeal I guess). It also may have been to reduce the likelihood of appeal
New Mexico judge reduces jury’s penalty against Meta to $25 billion | Courthouse News Service https://www.courthousenews.com/new-mexico-judge-reduces-jurys-penalty-against-meta-to-25-billion/
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Comment on Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of October 19 in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentA lot of places have stricter campaign laws, but part of what is so awful about this is that they tested it by polling people before it got released publicly and it works on a certain subset of...A lot of places have stricter campaign laws, but part of what is so awful about this is that they tested it by polling people before it got released publicly and it works on a certain subset of voters he wanted. But there has been pretty widespread backlash, it's just a matter of whether his gains outweigh his losses.
Because her being a past victim will probably hurt her by some amount regardless of everything else. How much they can make the lies stick - Trump also was pushing the lies - vs the "so you support pedophiles" counterbalance... Idk.
He did run in 2024 yes but is starting to fall afoul of the white supremacy in the right even as very rich awful human.
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Comment on US State Department unveils plan to only promote Donald Trump supporters in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentAs I said, the flippancy was a poor way to make the point and a worse way to demonstrate that you think it's a serious issue.As I said, the flippancy was a poor way to make the point and a worse way to demonstrate that you think it's a serious issue.
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Comment on US State Department unveils plan to only promote Donald Trump supporters in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentIt is not a given that revoking birthright citizenship would only impact new births, that would be, at absolute best, the limits the court puts on their behavior. In the same way they're trying to...And even if it did happen, it wouldn't effect the elections for long after Trump is gone, because babies don't vote!
It is not a given that revoking birthright citizenship would only impact new births, that would be, at absolute best, the limits the court puts on their behavior. In the same way they're trying to denaturalize immigrants, they're absolutely trying to actively put barriers to not just voting but continuing to live in the US.
I just find this a flippant way for you to make your point about something that is a very serious genuine concern for people about the future of our country.
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Comment on Men in tech #YesAllMen in ~life.women
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentSo while my degree is technically in counseling. Guess what my oops I ended up doing non-clinical work for college students job basically is... Unfortunately the past home nursing "case managers"...So while my degree is technically in counseling. Guess what my oops I ended up doing non-clinical work for college students job basically is...
Unfortunately the past home nursing "case managers" and social workers were unhelpful. My "favorite" was the one who told my partner he needed Jesus and that my partner was lying about me neglecting him and that he needed to be in a nursing home and too trying to protect me. (Previously PCP was also trash. Partner was depressed, because his legs don't work, and life is hard, and he wasn't letting me take care of him, far from me neglecting him. But yeah. )
So yeah, I have a therapist too. And current home nurse is goid (they don't have social work with this agency) It's just gestures everything.
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Comment on Men in tech #YesAllMen in ~life.women
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentPart of me almost wishes that I had worse or at least more consistent pain because I feel like a damn liar saying I have chronic pain. Because it isn't every day/isn't that bad. But it's draining...Part of me almost wishes that I had worse or at least more consistent pain because I feel like a damn liar saying I have chronic pain. Because it isn't every day/isn't that bad. But it's draining and the back pain has been closer to daily even with the joint pain being more intermittent (weather maybe influencing it) and I know the correct pain level is zero, not "it's fine I can deal " but partner has had almost 20 spine surgeries (and takes heavy pain meds) which also mean I don't want to take anything strong and my pain is nothing in comparison so... It clearly is invalidated
He has a PA through the state Medicaid waiver program (fun fact we can't get married because he'll lose coverage ) for about 30 hours a week, so while I'm at work most days. Due to reasons we lost her for about a week (we love the current PA and I will keep her forever) and that was part of my recent level of barely keeping my shit together. Plus he is full assist to transfer to bed, plus he's got an infection again, plus I need to find where hearing aids don't cost 9k because he has Medicare Medicaid dammit, he should get to hear. All that said, because we have her I don't really get actual "respite." And I'm slowly working my way to a nursing degree by apprenticeship I think.
Anyway yes I have some help, but no family near by and no real break. Stepkid is busy but is visiting to help around the house this weekend. But he doesn't do personal care. And I steal my time in grocery store trips and the like.
I'm so tired. But also like, stuff just needs to happen so I make it happen.
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Comment on Men in tech #YesAllMen in ~life.women
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentI am not in Puget Sound, alas. I have a decent doc (Nurse Practitioner) and we even tried to deal with my chronic pain stuff a while ago. She and the rehumatologist took me seriously for the weird...I am not in Puget Sound, alas. I have a decent doc (Nurse Practitioner) and we even tried to deal with my chronic pain stuff a while ago. She and the rehumatologist took me seriously for the weird inconsistent joint pain, but we didn't find anything and taking gabapentin regularly just made me hurt when it wore off each dose. I saw PT and a pain specialist for some back pain but I balked at epidurals. But it's probably time to address that and everything else.
Difficulty level is that again my stress is high, and am I tired because I'm not sleeping, because of depression or chronic fatigue or peri? So yeah I have an upcoming appointment (because I have finally developed high blood pressure) anyway so I'll try to hit the things with her.
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Comment on Non-queer men of Tildes: PLEASE consider before commenting on ~life.women and ~lgbt without careful consideration. We are losing members over this issue. in ~tildes
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentIf the friends need some support I work with a group that helps people relocate and can put them in touch. I don't know how folks who need to move get selected/helped/screened but if they're...If the friends need some support I work with a group that helps people relocate and can put them in touch. I don't know how folks who need to move get selected/helped/screened but if they're willing. (Also still in the Midwest but in a better spot which may be easier than the coasts)
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentSpiderman has a lot of comic book fans and especially this movie got him back to what millenials in particular remember of him growing up - solo, street level, college age Peter Parker. (I have...Spiderman has a lot of comic book fans and especially this movie got him back to what millenials in particular remember of him growing up - solo, street level, college age Peter Parker. (I have not seen the movie yet but the setup from the last one actually upset me because I don't have this nostalgia and I was pissed at his taking away MJ's agency (and his friend's I forget his name)).
The original comic fans have always wanted a good Spidey and they had complaints with both Tobey and Andrew that didn't really exist with Tom. That's my best stab at it anyway
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Comment on Men in tech #YesAllMen in ~life.women
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentAbsolutely happy to chat by PM, one of my (clearly many) issues with it all is being on the implant and thus I don't have noticeable cycles (and likely have PCOS but I've been on HBC for so long I...Absolutely happy to chat by PM, one of my (clearly many) issues with it all is being on the implant and thus I don't have noticeable cycles (and likely have PCOS but I've been on HBC for so long I don't even know) and wouldn't even know how or when to get tested (and to what effective purpose).
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Comment on All eighty books banned in Minnesota last year came from one school in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentNot really with your immediate prior reply but it's also rather moot as well. Appreciate the effort though. Doesn't make sense to just talk past each other.Not really with your immediate prior reply but it's also rather moot as well. Appreciate the effort though. Doesn't make sense to just talk past each other.
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Comment on All eighty books banned in Minnesota last year came from one school in ~books
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentIt just doesn't stand out if there was no actual reason for pulling the book other than it being ordered by the same person in the same batch of books? The book itself is orthogonal to the bigotry...It just doesn't stand out if there was no actual reason for pulling the book other than it being ordered by the same person in the same batch of books?
The book itself is orthogonal to the bigotry of the people involved which was the initial point. (I don't get your point essentially since this all goes back to the initial commenter's bafflement and you noting it stands out because they wouldn't typically want to ban it. My point is that they didn't particularly want to ban it. )
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Comment on Men in tech #YesAllMen in ~life.women
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentNot any who have expressed the secret perimenopause knowledge. (I haven't asked so I will, but I have also just realized I hang with more trans masc friends typically in person so I may hit up my...Not any who have expressed the secret perimenopause knowledge. (I haven't asked so I will, but I have also just realized I hang with more trans masc friends typically in person so I may hit up my online spaces) My problem is more that I have pain and exhaustion and ADHD and overwhelming stress at all times and even knowing the symptoms I can't distinguish them from my current existence. Also the self-doubt and the internal need to press on despite waking up in pain this morning for example. Probably not perimenopause related but much like everything else, must just keep going.
Am I having brain fog due to hormones or due to having yet another logistical caretaking related problem I must manage? Am I not sleeping due to hormones or stress/hyperalertness for my partner being in distress? Do I feel crazy because of some weird institutional politics stabbing me in the back or because my endocrine system hates me? Without a regular menstrual cycle it fucks up the whole thing of even knowing when menopause itself hits.
But like I also have chronic pain whose cause has never been identified and treatment for which I stopped when it wasn't helping but the flare up today is gnarly so I'm rambling a bit. Appreciate the idea, I also have a doc appointment and my doc listens we've had other stuff going on.
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Comment on Mass shooting at US Hindu temple prevented by jammed gun in ~news
DefinitelyNotAFae Link ParentAnti-Indian/South Asian sentiment has absolutely been on the rise on the right. Most recently regarding a photo of college students at a football game, only because many of the people in the...Anti-Indian/South Asian sentiment has absolutely been on the rise on the right. Most recently regarding a photo of college students at a football game, only because many of the people in the picture were brown skinned and thus "not assimilated" inherently in those right wing views.
Anti-Indian racism has been surging in right-wing media
But while that was mainstream, I've been seeing concerns about it from Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi folks in particular in the past few years. I've just noticed a subtle increase in those sorts of random comments left on social media or in comment sections of news articles. The targeting of H1B visas also has brought with it anti-Indian sentiment (or perhaps the Anti-Indian sentiment brought the visa targeting).
Vance has been criticized for his wife and for race mixing by Nick Fuentes and other right wing white nationalist darlings.
But there was a shooting on a Hindu temple last year iirc and some vandalism in California targeted at Indians. But Sikhs were also being targeted as far back as 2001-2 for violence for simply being brown and wearing a (very distinctive from Muslim) turban. And a lot of the hate gets bled into a general "brown people bad" racism.
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Comment on Men in tech #YesAllMen in ~life.women
DefinitelyNotAFae (edited )Link ParentIt's really frustrating that I have no idea whether or not I have hit perimenopause. Because I'm on an implant and so I will have no idea other than I definitely have some of those symptoms... But...It's really frustrating that I have no idea whether or not I have hit perimenopause. Because I'm on an implant and so I will have no idea other than I definitely have some of those symptoms... But also maybe I'm just tired all the time... Or was that really a night sweat?? Because obviously I'm just overreacting.
It's so frustrating that we barely know anything useful.
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Comment on Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of October 19 in ~society
DefinitelyNotAFae LinkVivek Ramaswamy put out an ad so disgusting that the National Review did journalism to debunk it. Amy Acton was the documented victim of child sexual abuse by her step father. Her mother lost...Vivek Ramaswamy put out an ad so disgusting that the National Review did journalism to debunk it.
Amy Acton was the documented victim of child sexual abuse by her step father. Her mother lost custody of her and her brother and stayed married to the abuser. Ramaswamy created (or indirectly supported) an ad with Acton's mom telling people not to vote for Acton because "she's a liar".
It's deeply disgusting and the campaign isn't backing off but it seems a lot of Republicans have deleted their posts after the fact from the apology posts I'm seeing.
ETA: he confirmed it was his ad, the question existed because it lacked the mandatory "created by/approve this message" language .
Very fair, I'm absolutely bringing it up with my doc, a decade ago we couldn't find anything and it was definitely not peri then, but one of my big frustrations is how nebulous the idea of perimenopause is. Much like a lot of women's health tbh. (And like how I'm nonbinary and while I do use "nonbinary woman" as a gender label I also don't feel quite right with that and most of all of this is subtly internally invalidating in a way I can't articulate because I can still speak this way and I'm still perceived this way, and also its not a full picture of me and ugh idk random aside)
Follow through is just really hard. And finances are hard. And giving myself permission to take time off is hard. Yay therapy