Careful making sweeping generalizations. Different age groups and demographics may view menstruation in a negative light, but sexual orientation has very little to do with it. Older generations...
Straight people always seem so terrified of periods
Careful making sweeping generalizations.
Different age groups and demographics may view menstruation in a negative light, but sexual orientation has very little to do with it. Older generations and religious groups would have a problem with it. GenX, Millennials and GenZ for the most part will not.
@Kat has already responded but... do people have to do this? She makes a harmless generalisation about a majority group in a very lighthearted comment and three people have to come in with the...
@Kat has already responded but... do people have to do this? She makes a harmless generalisation about a majority group in a very lighthearted comment and three people have to come in with the "not all men"-style comments. I know Tildes is not intended as a minority space but sometimes we like to punch up and have a sensible chuckle about it, and it's tiring when we get bombarded with multiple "um actually"s (and yes I know you're in no way responsible for the other two).
Sorry to embody the right-wing strawman of a screeching SJW right now but I just wanted to put it out there.
EDIT: I should have known this would just trigger are fresh wave of "but not all straights" targeted at me. I take back my apology for looking like a screeching SJW. Sometimes it takes a screeching SJW to get people to re-examine their behaviour.
Yes., we do have to. It is literally impossible to read inflection and subtext over text based discussion. That is why it's common to add a "/s" to comments that are sarcastic. When we are...
do people have to do this?
Yes., we do have to.
It is literally impossible to read inflection and subtext over text based discussion. That is why it's common to add a "/s" to comments that are sarcastic.
When we are conversing in person we can hear it in your voice that you are being light hearted or joking, none of that inflection exists in text.
To me, her comment read as a serious comment, I have read enough of her stuff to know it was most likely not super serious, but there is no way to tell.
That's where your critical reading and interpersonal skills come in. Given the context of a comment on a photoshoot, rather than something like a serious piece on straight people's attitudes...
It is literally impossible to read inflection and subtext over text based discussion. That is why it's common to add a "/s" to comments that are sarcastic.
That's where your critical reading and interpersonal skills come in. Given the context of a comment on a photoshoot, rather than something like a serious piece on straight people's attitudes towards menstruation and the fact that Kat is generally not a jerk it's pretty easy for anyone to see that they're joking. Quit being such a snowflake.
It is literally impossible to read inflection and subtext over text based discussion. That is why it's common to add a "/s" to comments that are sarcastic.
Something something, most charitable interpretation.
This requires you to know Kat on a personal level. Not everyone does. This requires you to have these skills as well. Some people do not possess these skills. Does it really surprise you that so...
the fact that Kat is generally not a jerk
This requires you to know Kat on a personal level. Not everyone does.
That's where your critical reading and interpersonal skills come in.
This requires you to have these skills as well. Some people do not possess these skills.
Does it really surprise you that so many people responded the way that they did? This is the internet - not only are social cues absent, as has been pointed out, but there are also a lot of people on the internet. Some of these people are bad at conversation. For some, English is not their first language. Some of these people may even be on the spectrum or have other disorders which make it difficult for them to comprehend the true message behind the statement.
Na. Queer people are still killed on the streets, killed by cops, denied basic rights in certain countries. I think the straights can handle some ribbing here and there.
Na. Queer people are still killed on the streets, killed by cops, denied basic rights in certain countries. I think the straights can handle some ribbing here and there.
There's this saying you may have heard: two wrongs don't make a right. And another one, similar kinda theme: an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. Racism is racism and is bad no matter...
There's this saying you may have heard: two wrongs don't make a right. And another one, similar kinda theme: an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
Racism is racism and is bad no matter who is doing it, sexism is sexism and is bad no matter who is doing it, and heterophobia as some sort of 'we're justified in this because bad stuff happens to us' reaction to homophobia is just as bad. Not to mention completely unnecessary.
Oh my god... you really couldn't be more condescending right now. There's no such thing as heterophobia, there never has been and hopefully there never will be. Stop wasting your time harassing...
Oh my god... you really couldn't be more condescending right now. There's no such thing as heterophobia, there never has been and hopefully there never will be. Stop wasting your time harassing queer people over a non-issue.
It seems rather likely you would shout down someone who wasn't queer in some way making pronouncements about how queer people should feel about straight people insulting them. Well here's a...
It seems rather likely you would shout down someone who wasn't queer in some way making pronouncements about how queer people should feel about straight people insulting them. Well here's a straight person telling you nothing about you gives you any right to tell me how I should feel about someone punching me because I'm 'up'.
I don't punch you. I've never punched you. Why do I deserve it? Why do I get lumped in with the people you say have "killed, tortured or oppressed ... people for their sexuality" on account of my sexuality? What is it going to take for people to realise you can't beat hate with hate?
First of all, seriously? You'd consider Kat's comment hate? Honestly isn't that being just a tad sensitive? No one said kill all straights, no one even said breeders are trash. Straight white men...
First of all, seriously? You'd consider Kat's comment hate? Honestly isn't that being just a tad sensitive? No one said kill all straights, no one even said breeders are trash. Straight white men are really continuing to prove their fragility right now. If that's what you consider hate, you wouldn't last a day against actual hate.
Secondly, the joke wasn't about you, it was never about you. It was about a majority class you happen to be a part of. Do you get this offended by comments about men or white people? Do you know what I do when someone makes a generalisation about white people? I really quickly think "is this about me? am I the kind of person this is about?"
If the answer is yes, I consider whether there's any truth to it and if I need to change my ways.
If the answer is no, I have a laugh because I know I'm not responsible for every crime by every white person ever. You don't have to feel personally attacked on behalf of the straights, you don't owe them that.
There are levels of hate - obviously making negative generalisations against a group is not on the same scale as a lynch mob, but it's hate all the same. That's where modern sociology gets its...
There are levels of hate - obviously making negative generalisations against a group is not on the same scale as a lynch mob, but it's hate all the same. That's where modern sociology gets its microaggressions theory from. As for 'think about whether this is meant for me'? How about people say what they mean? I get offended by generalisations that put people on sides, based on short sighted labels. And I'm not getting offended 'on behalf of' someone, because the label used includes me.
It's not a circle, it's never been a circle. Queer people have never killed, tortured or oppressed straight people for their sexuality. There's a big, hard, one directional arrow of hate pointing...
It's not a circle, it's never been a circle. Queer people have never killed, tortured or oppressed straight people for their sexuality. There's a big, hard, one directional arrow of hate pointing from one group to the other. If the oppressed group making snarky jokes about their oppressors looks even close to an equivalent response to you, your priorities are seriously skewed.
EDIT: and for the record, I know I'm being abrasive, but I've spent far too much time policing my own tone and language on Reddit so that I wouldn't immediately be downvoted for rocking the boat, and I'm not going to be doing the same on Tildes. I want to feel that I can be myself here, so I'm not going to tip-toe around anything.
I'm not arguing the current state of things, just the base principles. I want things to change too. The best way to get our point clearly across is to give the other side as little ammunition as...
I'm not arguing the current state of things, just the base principles.
I want things to change too. The best way to get our point clearly across is to give the other side as little ammunition as possible. What would you possibly have to gain by giving them the possibility of replying with something like "well now you hurt MY feelings"?
It's not about how justifiably angry you are. This fight is bigger than you.
It's not about the fight, it's about just letting us live our lives. @Kat wasn't trying to fight for anyone's rights by making that comment, they were just making a comment, as people do in day to...
It's not about the fight, it's about just letting us live our lives. @Kat wasn't trying to fight for anyone's rights by making that comment, they were just making a comment, as people do in day to day life. It included a harmless joke that is never going to reinforce anyone's oppression, a joke that is never going to make someone think it's okay to beat someone in the streets, a harmless joke that is never going to push a teenager closer to suicide. And no less than three status quo warriors descend on them to reprimand them for daring to speak out of line. Being queer is not all about "the fight", we don't want it to be about a fight, most of the time we just want to get on. God, this is why we want queer spaces at universities and for less straight people in gay clubs, because as soon as there's straight people present our every comment is scrutinised and we're told to behave or nice Mr Ally might stop feeling so generous and might want to take back our civil rights.
We agree on one thing, the initial comment was so benign that all this arguing is overkill. I'll concede, maybe I'm brewing a storm that does more harm than good. I just wish we could all...
We agree on one thing, the initial comment was so benign that all this arguing is overkill.
I'll concede, maybe I'm brewing a storm that does more harm than good. I just wish we could all instantly not be bitter at each other based on social identity categories.
This might sound unrelated, but this is how my brain works so please indulge me: In your view, is the meme of 'white-people can't dance' racist? Not trying to start a conversation about racism...
This might sound unrelated, but this is how my brain works so please indulge me:
In your view, is the meme of 'white-people can't dance' racist?
Not trying to start a conversation about racism here, just trying to get a feel for your perspective on things.
Straight answer - no. Thinking about why... I don't know, maybe I'm just so privileged on everything else that it doesn't make a dent to be honest. It brings me to what I said above: when I think...
Straight answer - no.
Thinking about why... I don't know, maybe I'm just so privileged on everything else that it doesn't make a dent to be honest.
It brings me to what I said above: when I think about it I 100% understand your feelings. I'm just arguing for a clean message that leaves no room for victimization on the other side.
Thanks for that, I don't think it is either. I also don't see much of a difference between that and this. In my example we have a minority group making an all-in-good-fun joke towards a majority...
Thanks for that, I don't think it is either.
I also don't see much of a difference between that and this.
In my example we have a minority group making an all-in-good-fun joke towards a majority group, which was historically oppressive towards them.
In this thread, we have a minority group making an all-in-good-fun joke towards a majority group, which was historically oppressive towards them.
Several people have interpreted it as an attack—in some degree, maybe not personally—but I think they ought to self-examine on why they're perceiving the comment in a serious or hostile manner. There was a knee-jerk reaction to be defensive.
[Rhetorical]: Why did that comment feel like an attack worth defending against?
It seems to me, that in time in our lives when we have those knee-jerk defensive moments (and we all do), the best course of action is to self-examine about why we feel that way.
As an example: Black Lives Matter. There is a group of people who always come out of the woodwork to retort, "All Lives Matter!"
Well, yes. Obviously. We all know that. But the fact that that is how (the royal) you chose to participate in the conversation BLM is trying to have about racist-driven violence against black people says a lot about you. Either you don't understand the message behind "Black Lives Matter", or you do and it's not important enough to you to add your voice to the conversation.
If instead, when you experience that knee-jerk urge to defend against a perceived attack, you choose to examine why you feel that the phrase "Black Lives Matter" is something to defend against, then you will undoubtedly learn something about yourself and grow as a person. These things can be teaching moments.
Uh you make a great argument. There could be something defensive behind my call to "lets ALL stop making jokes". More than that, you made me think - if allowing a for a push-back reaction is...
Uh you make a great argument. There could be something defensive behind my call to "lets ALL stop making jokes".
More than that, you made me think - if allowing a for a push-back reaction is necessary for society to work this issue, then that's a small price to pay.
Then this was a good conversation. Whether it alters your perspective or not. Humor is far more complex then we probably give it credit for, and it's value in social discourse can not be overstated.
More than that, you made me think
Then this was a good conversation. Whether it alters your perspective or not.
Humor is far more complex then we probably give it credit for, and it's value in social discourse can not be overstated.
Considering how sensitive the LGBT community seems to be (not necessarily here were is pretty laid back as far as my experience goes) it seems only fair that we try to avoid generalising at all,...
Considering how sensitive the LGBT community seems to be (not necessarily here were is pretty laid back as far as my experience goes) it seems only fair that we try to avoid generalising at all, unless it's clear in some way that it's a joke.
That's why I'd love to have tag comments back but only applicable by the author to it's own comment for now.
I personally enjoy writing some witty/funny comments sometimes but I've refrained from doing it since when the tags had been took away from comments to not having to deal with miscommunications of sorts.
It's so weird to see how things escalate on internet forums. Kat made a lighthearted comment, you commented on the implications of it, Kat clarified the joke, and you resolved it, yet other people...
It's so weird to see how things escalate on internet forums. Kat made a lighthearted comment, you commented on the implications of it, Kat clarified the joke, and you resolved it, yet other people have jumped in and escalated it. I skimmed it a bit and saw someone use the term, "Snowflake," which is where I knew it was time for me to check out. It was quite cordial when it was only the two of you. The internet is a weird place. We all just need to calm down a bit!
This can be used to justify any kind of lighthearted discrimination irregardless of who, or in what degree, it offends. I'm not saying you were rude or unfair, just that we should be the change we...
It’s just a stereotype I’ve noticed having some validity to it that amuses me.
This can be used to justify any kind of lighthearted discrimination irregardless of who, or in what degree, it offends.
I'm not saying you were rude or unfair, just that we should be the change we want to see.
lol I don't think straight people are terrified of periods. I don't think it's irrational to not want to have sex during their period either. My girlfriend is more turned off by it than I am.
lol I don't think straight people are terrified of periods. I don't think it's irrational to not want to have sex during their period either. My girlfriend is more turned off by it than I am.
I am not terrified of periods either. I'm also not into them. I have a sensitive sense of smell. Any girlfriend I've ever had, including my wife, have had a vaginal smell during their period that...
I am not terrified of periods either. I'm also not into them. I have a sensitive sense of smell. Any girlfriend I've ever had, including my wife, have had a vaginal smell during their period that is just unpleasant for me.
Surely that's the choice of the photographer rather than indicative of some sort of societal truth. I've had partners who have (quite specifically) enjoyed sex on their period, did not enjoy it,...
Surely that's the choice of the photographer rather than indicative of some sort of societal truth. I've had partners who have (quite specifically) enjoyed sex on their period, did not enjoy it, or didn't think much about it either way. Men being scared of periods is a bit of a cliché. I've never known any drama about it in real life.
Ha, okay. Apologies if I took you too seriously. I'll counter my own point and say that straight men never expect squeamishness when expecting their partner to deal with semen, they may not be so...
Ha, okay. Apologies if I took you too seriously.
I'll counter my own point and say that straight men never expect squeamishness when expecting their partner to deal with semen, they may not be so forthcoming if it's their turn to really go right down on in there :)
Weird, I was just thinking the other way around. I'm straight (my partner is bi-curios I think? No idea about the right labels, sorry) but we actually welcome period sex as we can avoid...
Weird, I was just thinking the other way around.
I'm straight (my partner is bi-curios I think? No idea about the right labels, sorry) but we actually welcome period sex as we can avoid protections and enjoy the act more freely.
Yes, it's messy but not even that much of you're a little careful.
I felt the article kind a bit of lip service (no pun intended) towards the LGBT community to be honest.
I think it's a generational thing, younger people are beginning to push back on older norms. But maybe I'm just being optimistic. Women are still taught to be ashamed of their bodies. Some of it...
I think it's a generational thing, younger people are beginning to push back on older norms. But maybe I'm just being optimistic. Women are still taught to be ashamed of their bodies.
Some of it is men being grossed out by anatomy, some of it is women being told their anatomy is something they should be ashamed of.
I think you are generalizing quite a bit here. I think wanting to avoid being covered in/tasting period blood is a perfectly acceptable reason to not want to have sex. Can't I think that while...
I think you are generalizing quite a bit here. I think wanting to avoid being covered in/tasting period blood is a perfectly acceptable reason to not want to have sex. Can't I think that while understanding and being respectful of anatomy?
That's totally fair and understandable. I just think it goes deeper than that, and lots of people are truly disgusted by the idea of a period, regardless of it being natural and normal.
That's totally fair and understandable. I just think it goes deeper than that, and lots of people are truly disgusted by the idea of a period, regardless of it being natural and normal.
That makes sense. And I will say I definitely need to keep my sensibilities in check very often. It's very likely I just surround myself with people that aren't shitty, but that doesn't mean they...
That makes sense. And I will say I definitely need to keep my sensibilities in check very often. It's very likely I just surround myself with people that aren't shitty, but that doesn't mean they represent the majority. It's hard for me to remember that, especially as a male.
I got you. I know it's still a thing where people will refuse to have sex when a person has their period, but that would not fly with me. Luckily my husband doesn't mind! One of my newlywed...
I got you. I know it's still a thing where people will refuse to have sex when a person has their period, but that would not fly with me. Luckily my husband doesn't mind!
One of my newlywed friends just told me her now-husband said "never," and she's so sad! We talked about softcups, though, so hopefully that will work for them!
In a completely different direction, they're just nicely composed photos of loving people who look blissed out after having fun with each other, including some finger-painting. I always found the...
In a completely different direction, they're just nicely composed photos of loving people who look blissed out after having fun with each other, including some finger-painting.
I always found the workaround for period sex if I didn't feel like ruining sheets and towels, was shower sex.
A note on the NSFW tag: none of these photos are explicit / pornographic IMO, but still might raise eyebrows if someone looks over your shoulder while you're browsing at work.
A note on the NSFW tag: none of these photos are explicit / pornographic IMO, but still might raise eyebrows if someone looks over your shoulder while you're browsing at work.
Careful making sweeping generalizations.
Different age groups and demographics may view menstruation in a negative light, but sexual orientation has very little to do with it. Older generations and religious groups would have a problem with it. GenX, Millennials and GenZ for the most part will not.
@Kat has already responded but... do people have to do this? She makes a harmless generalisation about a majority group in a very lighthearted comment and three people have to come in with the "not all men"-style comments. I know Tildes is not intended as a minority space but sometimes we like to punch up and have a sensible chuckle about it, and it's tiring when we get bombarded with multiple "um actually"s (and yes I know you're in no way responsible for the other two).
Sorry to embody the right-wing strawman of a screeching SJW right now but I just wanted to put it out there.
EDIT: I should have known this would just trigger are fresh wave of "but not all straights" targeted at me. I take back my apology for looking like a screeching SJW. Sometimes it takes a screeching SJW to get people to re-examine their behaviour.
Yes., we do have to.
It is literally impossible to read inflection and subtext over text based discussion. That is why it's common to add a "/s" to comments that are sarcastic.
When we are conversing in person we can hear it in your voice that you are being light hearted or joking, none of that inflection exists in text.
To me, her comment read as a serious comment, I have read enough of her stuff to know it was most likely not super serious, but there is no way to tell.
It's pretty easy to tell she was joking.
That's where your critical reading and interpersonal skills come in. Given the context of a comment on a photoshoot, rather than something like a serious piece on straight people's attitudes towards menstruation and the fact that Kat is generally not a jerk it's pretty easy for anyone to see that they're joking. Quit being such a snowflake.
Something something, most charitable interpretation.
This requires you to know Kat on a personal level. Not everyone does.
This requires you to have these skills as well. Some people do not possess these skills.
Does it really surprise you that so many people responded the way that they did? This is the internet - not only are social cues absent, as has been pointed out, but there are also a lot of people on the internet. Some of these people are bad at conversation. For some, English is not their first language. Some of these people may even be on the spectrum or have other disorders which make it difficult for them to comprehend the true message behind the statement.
Punching up is not ok. The direction makes no difference. People pointing out how something is wrong should be taken as a reason to change.
Na. Queer people are still killed on the streets, killed by cops, denied basic rights in certain countries. I think the straights can handle some ribbing here and there.
There's this saying you may have heard: two wrongs don't make a right. And another one, similar kinda theme: an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
Racism is racism and is bad no matter who is doing it, sexism is sexism and is bad no matter who is doing it, and heterophobia as some sort of 'we're justified in this because bad stuff happens to us' reaction to homophobia is just as bad. Not to mention completely unnecessary.
Oh my god... you really couldn't be more condescending right now. There's no such thing as heterophobia, there never has been and hopefully there never will be. Stop wasting your time harassing queer people over a non-issue.
It seems rather likely you would shout down someone who wasn't queer in some way making pronouncements about how queer people should feel about straight people insulting them. Well here's a straight person telling you nothing about you gives you any right to tell me how I should feel about someone punching me because I'm 'up'.
I don't punch you. I've never punched you. Why do I deserve it? Why do I get lumped in with the people you say have "killed, tortured or oppressed ... people for their sexuality" on account of my sexuality? What is it going to take for people to realise you can't beat hate with hate?
First of all, seriously? You'd consider Kat's comment hate? Honestly isn't that being just a tad sensitive? No one said kill all straights, no one even said breeders are trash. Straight white men are really continuing to prove their fragility right now. If that's what you consider hate, you wouldn't last a day against actual hate.
Secondly, the joke wasn't about you, it was never about you. It was about a majority class you happen to be a part of. Do you get this offended by comments about men or white people? Do you know what I do when someone makes a generalisation about white people? I really quickly think "is this about me? am I the kind of person this is about?"
If the answer is yes, I consider whether there's any truth to it and if I need to change my ways.
If the answer is no, I have a laugh because I know I'm not responsible for every crime by every white person ever. You don't have to feel personally attacked on behalf of the straights, you don't owe them that.
There are levels of hate - obviously making negative generalisations against a group is not on the same scale as a lynch mob, but it's hate all the same. That's where modern sociology gets its microaggressions theory from. As for 'think about whether this is meant for me'? How about people say what they mean? I get offended by generalisations that put people on sides, based on short sighted labels. And I'm not getting offended 'on behalf of' someone, because the label used includes me.
I see your point, I feel where you're coming from, I can understand why it feels justified to you.
But this is how circles of hate work.
It's not a circle, it's never been a circle. Queer people have never killed, tortured or oppressed straight people for their sexuality. There's a big, hard, one directional arrow of hate pointing from one group to the other. If the oppressed group making snarky jokes about their oppressors looks even close to an equivalent response to you, your priorities are seriously skewed.
EDIT: and for the record, I know I'm being abrasive, but I've spent far too much time policing my own tone and language on Reddit so that I wouldn't immediately be downvoted for rocking the boat, and I'm not going to be doing the same on Tildes. I want to feel that I can be myself here, so I'm not going to tip-toe around anything.
I'm not arguing the current state of things, just the base principles.
I want things to change too. The best way to get our point clearly across is to give the other side as little ammunition as possible. What would you possibly have to gain by giving them the possibility of replying with something like "well now you hurt MY feelings"?
It's not about how justifiably angry you are. This fight is bigger than you.
It's not about the fight, it's about just letting us live our lives. @Kat wasn't trying to fight for anyone's rights by making that comment, they were just making a comment, as people do in day to day life. It included a harmless joke that is never going to reinforce anyone's oppression, a joke that is never going to make someone think it's okay to beat someone in the streets, a harmless joke that is never going to push a teenager closer to suicide. And no less than three status quo warriors descend on them to reprimand them for daring to speak out of line. Being queer is not all about "the fight", we don't want it to be about a fight, most of the time we just want to get on. God, this is why we want queer spaces at universities and for less straight people in gay clubs, because as soon as there's straight people present our every comment is scrutinised and we're told to behave or nice Mr Ally might stop feeling so generous and might want to take back our civil rights.
We agree on one thing, the initial comment was so benign that all this arguing is overkill.
I'll concede, maybe I'm brewing a storm that does more harm than good. I just wish we could all instantly not be bitter at each other based on social identity categories.
To be fair, it's a lot easier to "not be bitter" when your social identity categories aren't condemned and vilified by a large portion of society...
Fair point
Classic straight people. /s :p <3
There is no hate here. This is not heterophobia.
This kind of banter is as hateful as teasing among friends.
That's what straight people say too when telling gay jokes.
Please see my reply below to Batcow :)
Disclaimer: I'm a straight while male
This might sound unrelated, but this is how my brain works so please indulge me:
In your view, is the meme of 'white-people can't dance' racist?
Not trying to start a conversation about racism here, just trying to get a feel for your perspective on things.
Straight answer - no.
Thinking about why... I don't know, maybe I'm just so privileged on everything else that it doesn't make a dent to be honest.
It brings me to what I said above: when I think about it I 100% understand your feelings. I'm just arguing for a clean message that leaves no room for victimization on the other side.
Thanks for that, I don't think it is either.
I also don't see much of a difference between that and this.
In my example we have a minority group making an all-in-good-fun joke towards a majority group, which was historically oppressive towards them.
In this thread, we have a minority group making an all-in-good-fun joke towards a majority group, which was historically oppressive towards them.
Several people have interpreted it as an attack—in some degree, maybe not personally—but I think they ought to self-examine on why they're perceiving the comment in a serious or hostile manner. There was a knee-jerk reaction to be defensive.
[Rhetorical]: Why did that comment feel like an attack worth defending against?
It seems to me, that in time in our lives when we have those knee-jerk defensive moments (and we all do), the best course of action is to self-examine about why we feel that way.
As an example: Black Lives Matter. There is a group of people who always come out of the woodwork to retort, "All Lives Matter!"
Well, yes. Obviously. We all know that. But the fact that that is how (the royal) you chose to participate in the conversation BLM is trying to have about racist-driven violence against black people says a lot about you. Either you don't understand the message behind "Black Lives Matter", or you do and it's not important enough to you to add your voice to the conversation.
If instead, when you experience that knee-jerk urge to defend against a perceived attack, you choose to examine why you feel that the phrase "Black Lives Matter" is something to defend against, then you will undoubtedly learn something about yourself and grow as a person. These things can be teaching moments.
Uh you make a great argument. There could be something defensive behind my call to "lets ALL stop making jokes".
More than that, you made me think - if allowing a for a push-back reaction is necessary for society to work this issue, then that's a small price to pay.
Then this was a good conversation. Whether it alters your perspective or not.
Humor is far more complex then we probably give it credit for, and it's value in social discourse can not be overstated.
Yeah this was food for thought, thanks for the exchange!
Considering how sensitive the LGBT community seems to be (not necessarily here were is pretty laid back as far as my experience goes) it seems only fair that we try to avoid generalising at all, unless it's clear in some way that it's a joke.
That's why I'd love to have tag comments back but only applicable by the author to it's own comment for now.
I personally enjoy writing some witty/funny comments sometimes but I've refrained from doing it since when the tags had been took away from comments to not having to deal with miscommunications of sorts.
Kat, this is srs bzns
no fun allowed
I guess it's time to bequeath upon you an honorary fun police badge. Training is tomorrow at 0600 and runs for a full week.
I kind of figured as such. I just wanted to point out how it could be taken, especially considering how hard it is to read subtext online.
It's so weird to see how things escalate on internet forums. Kat made a lighthearted comment, you commented on the implications of it, Kat clarified the joke, and you resolved it, yet other people have jumped in and escalated it. I skimmed it a bit and saw someone use the term, "Snowflake," which is where I knew it was time for me to check out. It was quite cordial when it was only the two of you. The internet is a weird place. We all just need to calm down a bit!
yup, it never had to go further than that.
the internet is a silly place.
This can be used to justify any kind of lighthearted discrimination irregardless of who, or in what degree, it offends.
I'm not saying you were rude or unfair, just that we should be the change we want to see.
lol I don't think straight people are terrified of periods. I don't think it's irrational to not want to have sex during their period either. My girlfriend is more turned off by it than I am.
I am not terrified of periods either. I'm also not into them. I have a sensitive sense of smell. Any girlfriend I've ever had, including my wife, have had a vaginal smell during their period that is just unpleasant for me.
These stains on the sheets definitively terrifie me, they are ruined ! Don't you respect bedding ?
Have you never removed blood from fabric? It's very easy.
The easiest way to clean up blood is to not make a mess in the first place. Plan your murders, people!
Surely that's the choice of the photographer rather than indicative of some sort of societal truth. I've had partners who have (quite specifically) enjoyed sex on their period, did not enjoy it, or didn't think much about it either way. Men being scared of periods is a bit of a cliché. I've never known any drama about it in real life.
Ha, okay. Apologies if I took you too seriously.
I'll counter my own point and say that straight men never expect squeamishness when expecting their partner to deal with semen, they may not be so forthcoming if it's their turn to really go right down on in there :)
Weird, I was just thinking the other way around.
I'm straight (my partner is bi-curios I think? No idea about the right labels, sorry) but we actually welcome period sex as we can avoid protections and enjoy the act more freely.
Yes, it's messy but not even that much of you're a little careful.
I felt the article kind a bit of lip service (no pun intended) towards the LGBT community to be honest.
Dude, can we stop with all these new tech acronyms.
I think it's a generational thing, younger people are beginning to push back on older norms. But maybe I'm just being optimistic. Women are still taught to be ashamed of their bodies.
Some of it is men being grossed out by anatomy, some of it is women being told their anatomy is something they should be ashamed of.
I think you are generalizing quite a bit here. I think wanting to avoid being covered in/tasting period blood is a perfectly acceptable reason to not want to have sex. Can't I think that while understanding and being respectful of anatomy?
That's totally fair and understandable. I just think it goes deeper than that, and lots of people are truly disgusted by the idea of a period, regardless of it being natural and normal.
That makes sense. And I will say I definitely need to keep my sensibilities in check very often. It's very likely I just surround myself with people that aren't shitty, but that doesn't mean they represent the majority. It's hard for me to remember that, especially as a male.
It's ok, I am also male and totally understand where you're coming from.
I got you. I know it's still a thing where people will refuse to have sex when a person has their period, but that would not fly with me. Luckily my husband doesn't mind!
One of my newlywed friends just told me her now-husband said "never," and she's so sad! We talked about softcups, though, so hopefully that will work for them!
In a completely different direction, they're just nicely composed photos of loving people who look blissed out after having fun with each other, including some finger-painting.
I always found the workaround for period sex if I didn't feel like ruining sheets and towels, was shower sex.
A note on the NSFW tag: none of these photos are explicit / pornographic IMO, but still might raise eyebrows if someone looks over your shoulder while you're browsing at work.
Well, blood play is mega problematic. A period is the only safe way to take part in anything hematolagnia related.