14
votes
The limits of the lunchbox moment
Link information
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- Title
- Children of Immigrants All Know the Lunchbox Moment. That Doesn't Mean They Relate.
- Authors
- Jaya Saxena
- Published
- Feb 8 2021
- Word count
- 3511 words
This literally happens for every single thing said or produced, probably since the beginning of humanity. This post is really making a mountain of a well-studied molehill: Kids are easily influenced by peers and media.
My kid wasn't afraid of the dark till seeing a kids show about a kid being afraid of the dark.
Kids whom were afraid of the dark might have found comfort and gained a few insights. But kids who weren't got a social cue "hey lots of kids are afraid of the dark (you should be too)."
The reality is that for somebody experiencing bullying, a book or show can be helpful. It helps to know others have been through this and you're not alone.
And there's a chance that some kid reads a book about bullying and thinks "Oh it'd be funny to do that to someone."
My kid loved reading Ada Twist books, until one of their friends (who can't read as well) said it was a dumb show for babies. And now their interest is dead for a bit...fingers crossed the "don't let others tell you what you like" talks pan out.
There's a non-zero chance that we create more problems than we solve by trying to create content to help.
Yeah I'm kinda torn about this article as a whole. On one hand, I get it. My hometown is super diverse and very open about all of these things including food and culture, so growing up I don't think I ever had a "lunchbox moment," so I kinda get where the author is coming from, but at the same time it's not like I feel "othered" by my Asian American peers for not having that moment. I've experienced racism before, and still get it even in 2024 lol.
Maybe I just don't understand the article. Shrug.
I'm Asian American, but I always did hot lunches at school the whole time, so I never experienced this either.
All I'll add is that by high school, my friends and my brother's friends (all pretty much non-Asian since we grew up in Midwestern suburbia) were clamoring for my mom's cooking. We're Filipino. People -- surprisingly to me -- knew the staples of lumpia, pancit, and adobo, which they loved. But even lesser known foods were popular. My friends loved my mom's Chicken Afritada, and even Tinumis/Dinuguan, which is a stew that uses pork blood. That's certainly an unusual ingredient in mainstream US cuisine.
So to the extent that it happens, maybe it is just a younger kid thing. Because I feel like it eventually goes the opposite direction, where different is cool. Or at least tasty.
Thank you for sharing!!
Giving it some more thought, I also don't want to discount the experiences of people who do experience this phenomenon. I feel like it's a very easy thing to demonstrate to in some current "cultural appropriation vs appreciation" type of issue. Even I see issues of cultural appropriation sometimes where I just kinda go ehhh, even though I've never had these lunchbox moments.
Its a foodie website, so I understand that the author has to relate their experiences from food, but I just feel like it's an odd position to come from, the Asian American diaspora is huge, everyone has their own experiences with some form of racism and being othered.
Ummmmmm. Sorry, but that’s one sandwich that is definitely ubiquitous to at least the southeastern US. There is nothing weird or off-putting or even remotely foreign about some orange marmalade (rind always included; ‘tisn’t a jam or a jelly, for goodness’ sake!) and a spread of cold butter over two pieces of plain bread.
That is very much one of the most regular-degular WASP foods, for sure. Poor southern people food in general, in fact. Lol. Everyone eats this. I’m in a state of perplexity and befuddlement, a state of bemusement, just thinking about how this woman probably still to this day believes that most other white American people would believe this particular sandwich, of all possible sandwiches, to be strange.
Little old grandmas of every color and creed — including, most pertinently, all of the white grandmas who have been jarring their own various preserves for years now — native to the US might have a good laugh over the terribly limited fruit spread expertise of this person’s former middle school friends and classmates.
As an American, I have never heard of a sandwich consisting of butter and orange marmalade. It sounds like something British people would pretend to eat to get a reaction out of people.
What does the butter do flavor-wise? It sounds a PB&J made by aliens.
edit:
I have done research onto the subject now. It seems like this is called a Paddington Bear Sandwich? It's definitely a thing, but at least the internet doesn't seem to think it's that much of a thing. I'm getting half results for BLT sandwiches when I google it.
Maybe the part more the article's point is that Mallikarjuna thought it was something foreign just because it's weird when it seems very much a white people thing, even if obscure. She needs to learn about the wonders of British cuisine.
Could be an age or generational thing. If your grandparents or parents went through the depression, I feel like you got introduced to some interesting sandwich combos. Butter and marmalade is the tip of the weird US sandwich iceberg. Basically, anything on hand to up the calories went into kids sandwiches. Jam and a slice of aspic? Sure. Why not put some miracle whip on that while we're at it and really show off the refrigerator to the neighborhood. PB&J? What, without the cheese and miracle whip?
I remember kids gossiping about what they heard each other's parents were cooking on the way home from school. Cow tongue cooked in a stew of sauerkraut with oxtail broth is surprisingly good. I remember sucking the broth and juices from the pores of the oxtail vertebrae.
Very, very likely. And this particular sandwich is no more mysterious or remarkable than toast with butter and preserves, as it quite literally is just un-toasted bread with butter and preserves.
Notably, the southeastern US — where poverty still abounds — does have a lot of recipes and ingredients that I haven’t really found in other places, so I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised if this is another one.
And I can’t believe how much I’m writing about this one very specific sandwich. I don’t even prefer it, lol; it’s just that it’s so normal to have seen at people’s houses plated with other grab-and-run finger foods whilst growing up that it struck me as odd to see it in the article.
Well, I suppose I’ve learned something new about what a few of my fellow Americans consider to be common eating today.
… I just said it’s a food native to pockets of the US; in my experience, southern, mostly. So why in the world would she need to learn about British cuisine?
I feel like, ludicrously enough, you are giving me an unintentional crash course in the opinions this woman encountered within her peer group at a younger age.
PB&J made by aliens, indeed.
E: Oh, and the butter adds a subtle creaminess and improves the texture, as far as I’d say. Best give it a go yourself, though; might like it. You never know.
It actually is something Dutch people do. With most sandwiches, actually, butter and then whatever else like the mentioned marmalade. But also jelly/jam, apple syrup, chocolate sprinkles, cheese, and a whole lot more (disclaimer, don't know the website just found it on google so order at your own risk).
Basically, sandwiches for most people always have butter on them and one other topping.
As to what the butter does with marmalade? Simple, it keeps the bread from getting soggy. It also adds something else in flavor and texture, but that is difficult to describe.
I don't know about the Dutch, but I do know in Germany the words for different jams, marmalades, etc, are kind of false friends here. That is, what the Germans call "marmalade" is more like a jelly in the UK or US. Jam tends to be thicker and more clumpy, and marmalade in British English (and based on these comments, I think also in US English?) is specifically made with citrus fruits, typically orange, and has the rind in it.
So there may be some translation confusion here as well, even between British and US English, because apparently people get really specific when naming their fruit-based spreads!
Fair, though in the Netherlands we all put them on sandwiches and most people will use a layer of butter as well :)
Here in the UK, I've not really seen that with marmalade, but with jam it's pretty standard. But I'd use peanut butter as butter instead. And then add bananas.
Dammit I'm hungry...
Doesn't seem that odd to me either, sure you'd usually use jam instead of marmalade for a sandwich but I've seen marmalade used plenty of times. The weird thing IMO about the described sandwich is using unsalted butter instead of salted, salted butter just tastes better and unsalted should be relegated to cooking only.
I would echo that I constantly struggle to relate to any “typical” Asian American moments. I recall coming to the US at a young age where I picked up English in a short period of time, my family lived in the suburbs away from chinatowns or urban areas, and practically no bullies at any of the schools I attended. It really becomes an awkward moment for me (thankfully rare) when I’m asked about the struggles of growing up Asian American. Heck, the term Asian American never felt like a label I identify with. I am American. I also strongly identify with the Asian country I was born in. But there is nothing Asian American I felt about my upbringing.
I think people should be more realistic about the effects of globalization and how immigration has changed in the last century. Nowadays, plenty of people can basically move to the US, watch the same shows as before, eat the same food as before, have a social group that communicates in their mother tongue (or video chat everyday), and no one bats an eye at this.
My daughter will likely have some moments like this when I make her lunch for school events here in Japan. That said I am /definitely/ making her a tasty sandwich. Some kids want to bully her about it, I would like to think it’s because they wish they were eating one too.