I have a spondylolisthesis diagnosis
I had been having pain in my "upper butt" when sitting for a few weeks, so I went to an orthopedic practice that has urgent care walk in hours. He diagnosed it as sacroiliac inflammation and gave me an anti-inflammatory (meloxicam) and a PT script. The PT did not have an opening until week after next, but the medicine has has really helped with the pain.
Them took xrays during my visit, and the side-looking one shows spondylolisthesis (one of my lumbar vertebrae has slipped forward). He pointed it out (casually) and didn't say much about it other than he thought it wasn't the cause of my pain. Maybe he thought I already knew about it?
I have been having lower back pain off and on for a long time. I went to my doctor one time, and he diagnosed it as a bulging disc. He had given me some meloxicam and strengthening exercises to do at home. Since then, I would have pain in my lower back intermittently as well as occasional numbness in my leg, but I had just assumed it was a disc and tried to keep strengthening my core.
I am overweight (280lb) and not very active (software engineer). I started a new job that is in office this year, so I'm a lot less sedentary than I was working from home. I have a fantastic yoga teacher, and I do that every week. My practice in between classes has been intermittent at best, but I am trying to make it more regular.
Right now, I'm waiting for the PT to start, and I have a followup appointment with the spine specialist at the ortho in a fee weeks.
My biggest problem is that whenever I think about the xray, and seeing that disc so misaligned, my anxiety really spikes to 11. I get the "heebie jeebies", the same creepy shivering feeling I get if a bug unexpectedly crawls on me. It's happening most days. I feel kind of betrayed by my body.
I have talked to my therapist about the anxiety, and we are working on it. But in the mean time it is very stressful and distracting.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I am not sure what I'm really asking for. There's plenty of information online about the treatments. I guess I am wondering if other people went through it, how did it affect your mobility, quality of life, etc? Are there things you wish you had known?
Honestly, I think I could just use a (virtual) hug.
If it makes you feel better, a huge number of adults have bulging discs and simply don't know about it. I totally get how it could feel weird to know that that was happening though.
I guess it's not that different from (benign) tumors in the sense that you just find out there's this weird thing about your body. Probably a mark of my good fortune that I've made it this long with few major ailments.
This was tagged with ask.advice and so, along with complete sympathy advice you shall get. I don't know if anything that I'm about to write will be of service, but here goes.
I had something bad happen to my back in 2019. Maybe it was spondo... spondy... Maybe it was what you had. Maybe not, I can't say I really know. But I could barely lie in bed without pain and I was crawling to the bathroom. I was actually amazed at how much pain I could experience. Over the next 5 years, my pain would abate and my mobility increase until, by now, I have no pain or mild infrequent lower back pain. The things that worked during that time, more or less in the order they happened were:
A membership at a gym that had a phenomenal trainer. I didn't even go that much, but they were way better than any physical therapist that I saw. I could do the exercises and that helped some.
A very good chiropractor that I would visit when the pain was bad. This was good for relief, and probably helped in other ways.
The suitcase carry. This exercise on a treadmill was a great way to get my mobility up and my pain down when things would get tight and painful. Don't worry about what the weight is or how long you are going. Just get something heavy in one hand and start walking.
Crying. The pain started in the wake of a time of great tests and difficulties in my life. I won't bore you with the details, but, years in, I realized that I was actively holding the tension in. This tension was, in turn, causing me a lot of pain. When I realized that I was hurting my own self with the feelings of resentment I had towards others (who were unaware of my resentment and not at all hurt by it), I started to let go of those emotions and could feel the pain I was experiencing ebb. It didn't fix everything, but releasing the emotions also released the pain.
The skating rink. Skating is magic for back pain. I was very much afraid to put my skates back on after... after too long a gap in skating. But going with my family to the skating rink was wonderful for my spirits and my back. The skates are these moderate weights on the feet that force your hips, quads, and glutes to work a little harder. The wheels make your stabilizer muscles work a little harder to keep you up. The music makes you skate a little longer and enjoy moving a little more. I fell a little, sure, but as I got better, my back pain faded into memory.
These things were my little discoveries over the course of years. Maybe your experiences will last weeks or months, in which case I will be very happy for you. I've never met a carefree soul that had debilitating back pain. If you have back pain, it might be because you are carrying something very heavy and important, but like everyone else here, I believe in you. You will overcome this, even if it is frightening at times.
Thank you! I am sorry to hear you were in so much pain, But glad you found your way out of it. I'm not very coordinated, so I'm not sure I can imagine myself skating, but I will take these things under advisement after I see the doctor again.
You've got this!
Spondylolisthesis is usually symptomless. It's typically just one of those things that happens. Just like how nobody's perfect, no body's perfect. This is a very common condition (about 5% of adults have it) and, as I said, it's usually symptomless. I hope you feel better though!
That is good to know. It makes me feel less ... broken. Thank you for your kind words!
Oh wow, that’s very common indeed! That’s like a D20 chance, so now I’m imagining if 8 billion people each rolled a D20 how many hundreds of millions of people would end up with the same result, which is a fun way to picture large numbers
Big Virtual Hug 🫂
I went through similar "heebie jeebies" after I got a gum graft.
They put cadaver tissue in my mouth, and like, I understood the concept and was okay with it in advance of the procedure, but then after it happened I got a little stuck on the fact that I had, you know, cadaver tissue in my mouth.
What I can say is that, while it pulled focus in a really bad way for a bit, over time it became something I thought about less, and then I realized one day that I hadn't really thought about it at all. It's not so much that I made peace with the idea but that, over time, the idea lost its potency.
I hope the same can happen for you.
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like each of these thoughts makes it a little easier. So thankful for you and the Tilde's community.
That's really interesting! I'm not sure how I'd feel about it. I wonder if people who have transplants like livers or kidneys feel similar.
I've got it and it sucks, but I've gotten used to it. Lots of transverse abdominal exercises and a hope that you don't turn the wrong way. Good luck learning how to sooth, avoid and manage the beast.
I'm sorry you're dealing with it too! It's not a very auspicious club to be a part of. Can you tell me more about not twisting the wrong way?
I feel like I aggravate it when I stand too long with my weight forward, like standing at the counter cooking or doing dishes. I have also found that there's one move in yoga that is sure to aggravate it (so I skip it) – lying on my back with one leg bent and one leg straight, and raise the straight leg to the height of the bent knee.
Mine is between L4 and L5 and what aggravates it the most is forward fold. I can do it, but repeating the action over and over stresses it out.
If you're into physio, I'd recommend dry needling when you do have a flare up. It gives me near instant relief, and helps me get back to strengthening exercises quickly.
When I say "that one motion" that aggravates it, I mean that it can be literally everything. If I've been carrying a child regularly, not exercising or sitting in an office chair the wrong way, one little wrong move can set it off.
Man I relate to this so hard. I've had the same feeling many times when going to the dentist. It wasn't until embarrassingly recently that I really took my dental health seriously. Time and time again at dentist appointments, they would show me new x-rays and point out new cavities and a part of me would just die a little. My anxiety would spike before seeing the x-rays and then spike again when I would go to get fillings. It peaked when I had to get a crown on one of my teeth, which hit me particularly hard. I've since started taking better care of my teeth but I'm still not 100% perfect. I've got another appointment in a few weeks and I'm not really looking forward to it haha but it's something I've gotten used to.
I regrettably do not have any advice for your condition but you got this!