I'm getting top surgery!
I know I've seen a bunch of people say they want more positive posts here in ~lgbt, and happily I have the opportunity now!
I live in Germany and here top surgery needs to be individually approved by your insurance provider for them to cover it. I got a letter back from them on Monday agreeing to cover it, and as of today the hospital scheduled my surgery for late March! I was expecting a lot more delay between getting the approval from my insurance and when the surgery could be scheduled (especially after the months it took to gather all the paperwork I had to send my insurance!), so I'm super hype.
My work will give me all the time I need off, and I live with my wife who should be able to take over any tasks I can't do during recovery. As much as I complain about how trans healthcare works in Germany atm, I wouldn't have been able to get this surgery back home in the US for cost reasons. So I'm feeling really lucky right now -- my transmasc friend in college had to save up for years to afford their surgery.
I'd love any recommendations anyone has for how to make my recovery as easy and comfortable as possible. I've got transmasc friends who have got top surgery, but most of what I've got from them has been "take more time off work than I did" and "drains suck". The surgery is in only a little over a month, so longer-term stuff like "get to a healthy weight" and "gain pectoral muscle to get a better aesthetic" are probably off the table, but I welcome anyone's practical recommendations! Obviously I'll get instructions from the doctor but I figure there are likely people here with personal experience who might have suggestions that a doctor wouldn't think to mention.
Also, I'm getting double-incision (only real option at my size) and atm I'm erring on the side of not getting nipple grafts. Not a huge fan of my nipples and I want to avoid any potential complications or dissatisfaction with them. I figure if I regret it I can always get nipple tattoos, whereas if I get the grafts and regret it there's not a ton of options. If anybody here has personal experience one way or the other, I'd really love to hear your perspective.
But most importantly, I'm just so excited that things are finally moving forward at a brisk pace! It's like finally getting the opportunity to stop and take a sharp rock out of the inside of my shoe.
EDIT TO ADD: oh god I just realized how am I going to keep my cats from lying on my chest
I'm actually recovering from top surgery right now! About 3.5 weeks post op. I'm typing on my phone so apologies if I make a bunch of typos.
A few things: according to my surgeon, being overweight or not having defined pecs does not matter to a good surgeon. I'm a bit overweight and asked about it, and he scoffed, saying he's done it on guys twice my size. So I wouldn't even give that a thought to be honest.
Dog ears are a myth, or a result from a surgeon who doesnt know what hes doing (according to my surgical team). I personally was concerned about it, but the team explained it super clearly. Whatever "dog earing" that happens, the skin should tighten it with time. Mentioning this because it proliferates a bit in top surgery conversation.
As for nipples, I opted for grafts. Wasn't actually much of a pain at all, and they look great. Just had to make sure to follow doctors orders: they had me start a nipple healing regimen a week after surgery. If you do decide on nipple grafts just know that they look like open wounds for a couple weeks. That's normal, and they heal in.
Biggest advice I can give is listen to your surgeon. They know what theyre doing. If you have any question on if something is normal or should happen, consult them first and foremost.
Other things: I got a wedge pillow and a mastectomy pillow. I've been relying on them both to sleep. Sleeping on your back can be rough, so just make sure you have all the pillows. Mastectomy pillow might help a little with your cat problem too haha. Also, get a good straw. You will be able to do way less than you expect, and turning a glass to drink proved uncomfortable. Get a bendy silicone straw if you can.
The drains are absolutely the worst part of the whole thing. Do not try to go easy on pain meds if you need them. I had to take an oxy every night to sleep because one drain took my pain from a 1 to a 9 the moment I would lay to sleep. But that's what theyre there for. Once the drains came out, I felt 300% better.
Best of luck!
Ooh thanks so much for this info, congratulations on your surgery! I didn't realize there were special mastectomy pillows, that's a good idea to look into.
My surgeon at the consultation said I'd need to lose a lot of weight if I wanted bottom surgery (not something I want right now anyway) but he didn't seem to have qualms about my weight for top surgery. But y'know you read stuff online about how it can affect the aesthetics and you start worrying...
And yeah the drains are definitely the part I dread most. Other than pain, what's it like to deal with them? I know my wife is gonna be there to help out with anything I need but she's not great with bodily fluids and things, so I'm a little worried about that part of things.
I also need to know -- did you make any "getting something off my chest" puns immediately prior to surgery? My wife insists I can't waste the opportunity lol
Thanks! Yeah, I saw enough guys put "mastectomy pillow" on their top surgery supply list so I went ahead and got one. It was a good call; it helped my comfort especially with the drains in. Also, it seems to really help my not roll over in my sleep.
You always have to keep in mind that most of the top surgery pics that will likely get posted are shirtless hot guys or someone who's worried that something's wrong and doesn't trust their surgeon enough to ask them. My surgeon apparently does a dozen procedures a week and yet I had a tough time finding results posted. It kinda skews your perception, and I think there's a lot of myths that can end up circulating because of it. Whatever major aesthetic problem that may come up can probably be fixed in revision, or scar care, or medical tattooing, so I would try not to worry too much! Easier said than done I know.
The drains suck, but they weren't awful necessarily. I am glad I got them because they surely help with healing, and that's the most important thing. The thing is... they weren't exactly painful most of the time. I was on a good pain med regimen (and you should be too!) but they were uncomfortable. They do help you not raise your arms too much also, which is an odd bonus. The thing that sucked was the random nerve pain that resulted while they were in: one side was fine but the other was unlucky and pinched a nerve seemingly randomly. So, results may vary. If you're lucky, they will just be an annoyance.
As far as drain care, they explained it to me and my partner after I woke up from surgery, so neither of us could really remember, and had to consult youtube videos. It will start with draining blood, and then over time it'll yellow and then be clear. You have to empty the drains twice a day, and log how much fluid was in each side. What takes practice is clearing the tubes: in order to make sure there aren't clots blocking flow, you're supposed to essentially milk the fluid in the tubes out. Gross, I know. I actually didn't end up needing help with it, so if your partner is squeamish, you can just do it yourself.
By the way, like someone else mentioned, definitely get stool softeners and laxatives for if you need to use opioids. Take stool softeners religiously, and then laxatives as needed. This is actually huge and I can't believe I forgot about it.
As for immediately prior to surgery... I was too terrified to plan anything like that haha. I was making jokes constantly but none of them were puns and all of them were to help prevent me from crying from fear. Surgery is scary! But, for me, it was like a trial by fire. Most people don't need to face their fears like that to become a man, but I did. The euphoria was otherworldly.
Btw, feel free to DM me if you want if you have questions you wouldn't want to ask publicly. Really excited for you!
Congrats on your upcoming surgery!
I have some experience with chest drains for a different surgery and in a different country, but my tip would be to get a lanyard or two for the drain pots. That way you can hang them from your shoulders when you're moving around the house. Also handy for hanging them up in the shower, so you don't trip over them.
I was afraid of standing on the tube or tripping over the drains when getting out of bed, so we put the drain pots in a bucket next to the bed at night.
I don't normally contribute to threads unless I have something substantial to add but I just wanted to say congratulations! One of my best friends just started hormones this week and I've seen how much happier transitioning has made her. Hopefully this can do the same for you!
Thanks! My wife started on HRT late last year and I've seen the same in her as she medically transitions -- it's really great to see someone you love grow into their new self when it makes them so much happier. I'm very hopeful and excited for my own chance to finally get my medical transition going!
Cheering for you!! Wish I were brave enough to go for it myself, but I'll just vibe vicariously through you super awesome transmasc folks! If you ever need hysterectomy advice/experience OTOH then I'm your enby!
Congratulations Sparks!!!
Don't really have advice for the recovery - but regarding keeping your cats off your chest while you heal, wear a hoody and put something hard and lumpy in the hoody pocket. Not sure how spoiled your cats are but mine only want to lie on me if I am sitting in perfect cat-pillow position; maybe if you make yourself an annoying seat to lie on you can prevent your chest from becoming a cat-destination while you heal :p
Hope everything goes well!!
Hoping that everything goes well for you and for a complete and speedy recovery! I'm very glad your work is accommodating and that insurance is coming through.
Not sure if your culture has traditional "comfort + heal" foods but maybe stock up on frozen portions?
Congratulations! Best wishes for a safe and successful surgery.
The closest analogous experience I can share is when my husband broke his collar bone. I was on call to help with shoes and shoe laces for what seemed a very long time. Also from personal experience, opioids can cause miserable constipation.
Ooh yeah I've heard that about opioids. Idk how quick they are to prescribe them here, since I've never been in a situation where I've needed hospital-level painkillers here. So it'll be a bit of a surprise ig!
Apparently the biggest thing is not raising my arms up too high or lifting heavy things, so I'll have to rely on my naturally lazy personality more than I already do 😅
Oof. Opiod constipation during my kidney stone was almost as bad as the kidney stone in terms of distress. Not trying to discourage you from the meds -- being free of pain is sometimes needed for your body to heal, so listen to your doctor. But definitely, religiously, take the stool softeners, drink lots of water, and have laxatives and an enema on hand just in case!
Congratulations and best of luck in your recovery!
I can't give you any useful advice but just wanted to say congratulations! I hope your recovery is smooth and swift and that you feel fantastic afterwards :)
Congrats! I had my top surgery three years ago and it remains one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
My experience in regards to the healing process is different than what yours will be, as I didn't have drains (my surgeon was no longer using them) and I went for nipple grafts (which, in case you get them, it's normal that they look kinda gross for the first couple weeks).
Here's a few things that could help you for the rest of the recovery experience, though:
Sorry for the wall of text, but hopefully some of this helps!
I don't have much advice about the cats, sadly, as that's not something I had to deal with during recovery.
This is all super great advice, thank you so much! Don't apologize for the wall of text when it's this good lol
Woo congrats!
Congratulations!!
My husband has had a few surgeries recently, and the only way he's been able to keep the cats off is to use a blanket with a texture they don't like. Satin-y textures seem to do the trick. It's not 100% effective, though.
One of my cats has some blankets I know she dislikes the texture of, but unfortunately the other cat really likes those textures lol. Luckily they usually prefer to sleep on my wife so hopefully they'll stick to that.