Honestly? I feel like I could be using these strategies for myself. I'm hoping a move to more slow social media will be helpful in removing a need for being glued to my phone. The tip about...
Honestly? I feel like I could be using these strategies for myself. I'm hoping a move to more slow social media will be helpful in removing a need for being glued to my phone.
The tip about creating an environment and rules for when certain food is consumed is something I'm already doing for myself and I've been trying to explain to my wife. Maybe I'll have her read this tomorrow.
I had the same thought - I actually have a baby on the way, my first and more than likely only. I've had to teach myself some really difficult lessons about dopamine-related addiction (cannabis)...
I had the same thought - I actually have a baby on the way, my first and more than likely only. I've had to teach myself some really difficult lessons about dopamine-related addiction (cannabis) while I prepare to be the father I expect myself to be for her.
Of course, the reddit self-destruction is another area I'm having to confront this - I usually am not getting that much enjoyment from the memes and "junk food" I was consuming there, and giving it up has been a little bit of reckoning in what I actually need from pseudo-anonymous social interactions and communities.
Just like you, and the article, mention I would sit and consume social media and link aggregators. Feel like I was wasting time on stuff that didn't even give me enjoyment. Then go back to doing...
Just like you, and the article, mention I would sit and consume social media and link aggregators. Feel like I was wasting time on stuff that didn't even give me enjoyment. Then go back to doing it again. Now I want to attempt to break that cycle for myself.
I wish I could just put my phone in a cabinet and walk away from it. I would love for it to be out of sight for days. All the other tech in my life put together is not as disruptive as my phone.
I wish I could just put my phone in a cabinet and walk away from it. I would love for it to be out of sight for days. All the other tech in my life put together is not as disruptive as my phone.
I have no idea if you can actually do this, but I turned off all notifications on my phone other than phone calls. I'm constantly in do not disturb mode. Discovering this was amazing. I go hours...
I have no idea if you can actually do this, but I turned off all notifications on my phone other than phone calls. I'm constantly in do not disturb mode. Discovering this was amazing. I go hours without looking at my phone. I miss messages from people sometimes, but I figure if they really need to get in touch with me right away, they'll call.
Then again, I don't enjoy my phone the way some people do. I certainly look at it casually and browse content there, but I don't actually enjoy it. It's just a way to de-stress for a few minutes before I realize how much I hate looking at the tiny screen.
Good advice. I've also turned off those red bubbles ("badges") which display the number of unread emails/messages/notifications on app icons. That alone reduces a lot of stress.
Good advice. I've also turned off those red bubbles ("badges") which display the number of unread emails/messages/notifications on app icons. That alone reduces a lot of stress.
Preach! I don't know how my wife does it. She's just not receptive to any kind of social media or her phone in general. She just puts it somewhere and forgets it, something I really admire in her....
Preach! I don't know how my wife does it. She's just not receptive to any kind of social media or her phone in general. She just puts it somewhere and forgets it, something I really admire in her. The only time I have without mine is during dinners, when I put it away. I think I am going to create more habits that are like that.
We did something like this when it was obvious that the technology addiction in our kids was strong. We adopted simple rules, like no Switch until Friday after school, not until bedrooms are...
We did something like this when it was obvious that the technology addiction in our kids was strong. We adopted simple rules, like no Switch until Friday after school, not until bedrooms are cleaned, and only 30 minutes each. They can have cartoons or tablets on the weekend in the morning, but only from 7-9.
As for me, well, Reddit is fixing my phone addiction for me. RIP Apollo.
What do you and your kids do the rest of the time? I don't have any kids yet, but I have friends with kids who rely heavily on screens to occupy their children. I really don't want to fall into...
What do you and your kids do the rest of the time? I don't have any kids yet, but I have friends with kids who rely heavily on screens to occupy their children. I really don't want to fall into that trap.
When they're not at school, it's a mix of a lot of stuff. Both my kids are still in elementary. For coordinated/paid activities, they do parkour at a local place, swimming lessons, and after...
When they're not at school, it's a mix of a lot of stuff. Both my kids are still in elementary. For coordinated/paid activities, they do parkour at a local place, swimming lessons, and after school stuff like track / running club.
While at home, they have a play structure outside and some friends in the neighborhood. They also have a set reading time everyday (making use of the library is EXTREMELY important and best to start even before they learn to read). As for the rest of the time, we play board games and things like that.
It took a little while for them to get used to it but really, once you "lay down the law" and keep in the habit (yeah, it took a lot of work to really stay strong and commit it), they stop asking. "I'm Bored" is usually responded to with a dad joke, and then followed up with a small list of either chores they could get done early or if I have nothing going on we'll go do a game or a puzzle or whatever together.
Now as far as when we're out at a restaurant or something, yeah, it can be a hard one to manage. We tell them to bring books or a toy (as long as it's not an obnoxious toy or something that can fall into a bunch of pieces), and that usually takes care of it now that they're used to it. If it's been a good week for them or it's an extra long wait for something, then yeah, I cave too. It happens, but honestly it's fine as long it's not every time.
This is something that I think all of us parents, and especially of littles, are challenged with. This feels like some good and easy to achieve strategies to help short circuit tantrums before...
This is something that I think all of us parents, and especially of littles, are challenged with. This feels like some good and easy to achieve strategies to help short circuit tantrums before they happen by understanding what may trigger them.
Yeah, as the father of a five year-old (who just got out of school and got a few days of too much access to Tears of the Kingdom because...I also love the game and want to play it), I can confirm...
Yeah, as the father of a five year-old (who just got out of school and got a few days of too much access to Tears of the Kingdom because...I also love the game and want to play it), I can confirm everything this article discusses. The struggle is real. I'll add one tip that the article doesn't mention: when you're trying to get a kid to wind down from one of these dopamine-heavy activities, engage with them for a few minutes at the end of it. Watch the end of the episode with them, react to it with them, ask questions where appropriate. Then talk about your own urges to 'do more' when they're feeling them.
And remember, like the article says, the tantrums when the activities are cut off really don't last long. Being firm about it really works. Take the thing away and do something better, instead. It will get forgotten quickly.
Thanks for sharing this. I have my first child on the way and my biggest concerns are setting her up for success in not ending up with the struggles I had growing up - junk content consumption and...
Thanks for sharing this. I have my first child on the way and my biggest concerns are setting her up for success in not ending up with the struggles I had growing up - junk content consumption and instant gratification, as well as a healthy relationship with time management and not feeling like being productive is punishment. I am sure there is a healthy balance and these strategies seem like what I've used to train myself - but I have the benefit of being a fully grown adult with some practice in introspection.
Only one overarching thing here I think is implied but could be stated outright - be patient with your kids! I think I would have been a lot more likely to develop healthy habits with unproductive fun if my upbringing hadn't have been so judgemental of fun for the sake of fun. It took me a long time to not feel like I had to squeeze in as much as possible once I was alone.
This reads like a Facebook mommy masquerading science to support her views. "Teach your children self flagellation by never letting them enjoy things!" Of course most of the science stated...
This reads like a Facebook mommy masquerading science to support her views. "Teach your children self flagellation by never letting them enjoy things!" Of course most of the science stated surrounding Dopamine is sound, but this feels misappropriated. Anything can become a vice or addiction for the same reasons she stated, but she's only choosing to apply them to the things she wishes to vilify.
Everything you are saying is true, but I don't think the author is claiming more science outside of the dopamine explanation. To me it was clear to both the parent and the child that some of these...
Everything you are saying is true, but I don't think the author is claiming more science outside of the dopamine explanation. To me it was clear to both the parent and the child that some of these activities were not fulfilling and continuously left their child wanting more rather than feeling satisfied. More importantly activities like watching cartoons began to interfere with critical patterns like going to bed on time. That is enough reason, in my opinion, to try and adjust things.
Honestly? I feel like I could be using these strategies for myself. I'm hoping a move to more slow social media will be helpful in removing a need for being glued to my phone.
The tip about creating an environment and rules for when certain food is consumed is something I'm already doing for myself and I've been trying to explain to my wife. Maybe I'll have her read this tomorrow.
I had the same thought - I actually have a baby on the way, my first and more than likely only. I've had to teach myself some really difficult lessons about dopamine-related addiction (cannabis) while I prepare to be the father I expect myself to be for her.
Of course, the reddit self-destruction is another area I'm having to confront this - I usually am not getting that much enjoyment from the memes and "junk food" I was consuming there, and giving it up has been a little bit of reckoning in what I actually need from pseudo-anonymous social interactions and communities.
Just like you, and the article, mention I would sit and consume social media and link aggregators. Feel like I was wasting time on stuff that didn't even give me enjoyment. Then go back to doing it again. Now I want to attempt to break that cycle for myself.
I wish I could just put my phone in a cabinet and walk away from it. I would love for it to be out of sight for days. All the other tech in my life put together is not as disruptive as my phone.
I have no idea if you can actually do this, but I turned off all notifications on my phone other than phone calls. I'm constantly in do not disturb mode. Discovering this was amazing. I go hours without looking at my phone. I miss messages from people sometimes, but I figure if they really need to get in touch with me right away, they'll call.
Then again, I don't enjoy my phone the way some people do. I certainly look at it casually and browse content there, but I don't actually enjoy it. It's just a way to de-stress for a few minutes before I realize how much I hate looking at the tiny screen.
Good advice. I've also turned off those red bubbles ("badges") which display the number of unread emails/messages/notifications on app icons. That alone reduces a lot of stress.
I'll try that. Thank you :)
Preach! I don't know how my wife does it. She's just not receptive to any kind of social media or her phone in general. She just puts it somewhere and forgets it, something I really admire in her. The only time I have without mine is during dinners, when I put it away. I think I am going to create more habits that are like that.
We did something like this when it was obvious that the technology addiction in our kids was strong. We adopted simple rules, like no Switch until Friday after school, not until bedrooms are cleaned, and only 30 minutes each. They can have cartoons or tablets on the weekend in the morning, but only from 7-9.
As for me, well, Reddit is fixing my phone addiction for me. RIP Apollo.
What do you and your kids do the rest of the time? I don't have any kids yet, but I have friends with kids who rely heavily on screens to occupy their children. I really don't want to fall into that trap.
When they're not at school, it's a mix of a lot of stuff. Both my kids are still in elementary. For coordinated/paid activities, they do parkour at a local place, swimming lessons, and after school stuff like track / running club.
While at home, they have a play structure outside and some friends in the neighborhood. They also have a set reading time everyday (making use of the library is EXTREMELY important and best to start even before they learn to read). As for the rest of the time, we play board games and things like that.
It took a little while for them to get used to it but really, once you "lay down the law" and keep in the habit (yeah, it took a lot of work to really stay strong and commit it), they stop asking. "I'm Bored" is usually responded to with a dad joke, and then followed up with a small list of either chores they could get done early or if I have nothing going on we'll go do a game or a puzzle or whatever together.
Now as far as when we're out at a restaurant or something, yeah, it can be a hard one to manage. We tell them to bring books or a toy (as long as it's not an obnoxious toy or something that can fall into a bunch of pieces), and that usually takes care of it now that they're used to it. If it's been a good week for them or it's an extra long wait for something, then yeah, I cave too. It happens, but honestly it's fine as long it's not every time.
This is something that I think all of us parents, and especially of littles, are challenged with. This feels like some good and easy to achieve strategies to help short circuit tantrums before they happen by understanding what may trigger them.
Yeah, as the father of a five year-old (who just got out of school and got a few days of too much access to Tears of the Kingdom because...I also love the game and want to play it), I can confirm everything this article discusses. The struggle is real. I'll add one tip that the article doesn't mention: when you're trying to get a kid to wind down from one of these dopamine-heavy activities, engage with them for a few minutes at the end of it. Watch the end of the episode with them, react to it with them, ask questions where appropriate. Then talk about your own urges to 'do more' when they're feeling them.
And remember, like the article says, the tantrums when the activities are cut off really don't last long. Being firm about it really works. Take the thing away and do something better, instead. It will get forgotten quickly.
Thanks for sharing this. I have my first child on the way and my biggest concerns are setting her up for success in not ending up with the struggles I had growing up - junk content consumption and instant gratification, as well as a healthy relationship with time management and not feeling like being productive is punishment. I am sure there is a healthy balance and these strategies seem like what I've used to train myself - but I have the benefit of being a fully grown adult with some practice in introspection.
Only one overarching thing here I think is implied but could be stated outright - be patient with your kids! I think I would have been a lot more likely to develop healthy habits with unproductive fun if my upbringing hadn't have been so judgemental of fun for the sake of fun. It took me a long time to not feel like I had to squeeze in as much as possible once I was alone.
This reads like a Facebook mommy masquerading science to support her views. "Teach your children self flagellation by never letting them enjoy things!" Of course most of the science stated surrounding Dopamine is sound, but this feels misappropriated. Anything can become a vice or addiction for the same reasons she stated, but she's only choosing to apply them to the things she wishes to vilify.
Everything you are saying is true, but I don't think the author is claiming more science outside of the dopamine explanation. To me it was clear to both the parent and the child that some of these activities were not fulfilling and continuously left their child wanting more rather than feeling satisfied. More importantly activities like watching cartoons began to interfere with critical patterns like going to bed on time. That is enough reason, in my opinion, to try and adjust things.