I wanted to make friends in a new city — so I hosted five strangers for dinner

This reminds me of a program that my pastor instituted at my old church.

Instead of stuffy old Bible studies, prayer meetings, and all the usual jazz that churches get into, he encouraged people to do something like this - host a dinner. That's it. No evangelizing, no religious talk, and don't even pray before the meal. Just invite people you don't know into your home and host a meal. We did it at first with just church members who we didn't know but some people eventually expanded it to their neighborhood.

His theory was that one of the biggest shortcomings of modern Christianity is that when Christians get together, there's always an agenda. He wanted instead to focus on building relationship both within and outside the church. It wasn't even about getting non-Christians to come to church; it was simply about being a good neighbor and a good person overall. He felt that we could do a lot more good in the world if we moved away from all the trappings of modern Christianity - missions, street evangelism, church programs, etc. - and spent more time building genuine relationships with other people without any kind of an agenda.

I was prepared to make some joke about how "this sounds like my nightmare!" before reading, but after I found myself thinking about how fantastic this is.

I'm male, so wouldn't qualify anyway, but my wife and I are planning on moving to a different state in the near future. It will be close to family, but neither of us will have friends in the area and I could see something like this being a good way to meet people.

There actually used to be a service (that sold to Foursquare and went defunct) called GrubWithUs that was basically this. A host registers to do a dinner at a restaurant. Everyone buys a ticket and lists restrictions the restaurant does a fixed price menu for the ticket price. Each person was responsible for their own drinks.

I attended several such dinners and cohosted one with a friend I made through the service. It was a great way to meet people in a new city as well as try new restaurants. I still keep in vague touch with some of them via Facebook. It was also one of the few ways I ever found to make new friends that didn’t have the odd pressure that structured socializing things often do where there is maybe kinda some pressure hovering over things that maybe you’ll meet a romantic partner so everyone has a bit of a guard up. It felt more low key.

I absolutely love the idea of this. As I was reading I was so excited to see there was a platform to help set these dinner parties up and was considering hosting. Then in the next sentence I was sad to see it was limited to women. Is anyone aware of something like this for men or coed groups? The other services linked in the article don't really seem to be the same thing.

A friend of mine did that on New Year's Eve about 20 years ago. Nervous, weird, interesting energy. One guest left the bathroom with some cocaine still at the tip of his nose -- not my scene, but so random. We were young, so we laughed and forgot about it.

I watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the first time during the sunrise surrounded by people I barely knew. It was awesome. Two people that met there eventually got married. They are now divorced, but it was like a real, long relationship.

Good times.

I have anxiety just thinking about this!

In the city I lived previously, there was this regular event you could register for, and they would match 3 pairs of people together. You would then meet up at the first pairs place, eat a starter they prepared, move to the second pair for the main and the third for a dessert. That worked pretty well to meet new people. The matches were based on dietary restrictions/preferences and walk-able distance between households.

I once helped out for a special one of these just before a local election where one 'pair' would be a politician. I think that was a great concept for people to get a chance at a more 1-to-1 conversation in a somewhat casual setting than you might otherwise get during an election campaign.

Before I read the article, I was skeptical.

But then I realised I've sort of done something similar. I used to organise small drawing hangouts where strangers, mainly artists, would come together to doodle and chat in a cafe. It was an easy way to make friends.

It helped that everyone had a common hobby to talk about.

But I think a dinner at your home probably feels more intimate and makes it easier to open up.

There was a YouTube channel that did something similar. I can't remember the name. But they'd go door to door and ask if they could cook for them. If they said yes then they'd buy all the groceries, do all the cooking and cleaning and ask the hosts to invite some friends over. It was super wholesome

Edit: discover connection is the channel I believe

This seems like one of those things that only works for a certain demographic.

Looking through some of the tables available, I feel I'm right. I was about to suggest something like this to my wife who is currently feeling the pains of growing older and losing friends, plus we just moved. None of these people seem like they would cater to her personality though.

Influencers hosting lavish gluten-free menus seeking high-end conversations around founder-style careers and indie creativity...a small window indeed and quite intimidating. I imagine my wife showing up asking "You guys like video games and Sailor Moon?" and getting blank stares.