Do you know a lot of weird people to talk about the latest weirdest things you've read?
Recently, I went to a meetup for a blog I follow. I was expecting and (in part) hoping for it to be really strange. Similarly to this post "Developers Aren't Nerds", I think a part of me held the expectation that I really would become an adult who sat around with other people who read something intellectually stimulating and joyfully kind of debated it amongst ourselves. Sort of like being on Tildes or any good forum. And being around these people and the environment was fun-- it was mostly casual, but when it wasn't, I felt challenged and like I was talking about things I cared about. And above all, unlike being online, it still felt human-- there wasn't that weird anxiety of saying something and getting piled on.
I'm blessed to have a pretty good life, which includes (now) a fairly diverse and broad social life I worked to grow. I believe there is emotional support too (though I have a smaller circle for that). But it feels like we spend more time talking about (their) travel, music festivals, clubbing, whatever. And I know part of the issue is that I don't "get" it (I am an introvert, I like small groups), or I did enough of those experiences and feel sated for the time. But man, would I like to be a little weird and just randomly talk about the random shit my head puts together after reading. (Today, it was global fertility rate projections, sperm counts, IVF. Other times it was blockchain and other architectures I was learning about. Overall, things that are difficult to bring up randomly.)
Do people have that outlet offline? Where did you find it?
Yes the majority of my friends have similar weird overlaps.
I’ve mostly met them throughout my life. One from Kindergarten, several from high school, one through a friend of a friend of a family member style thing.
In general I like people who like learning about things or hearing others ramble about things important to them. I don’t think there’s an easy way to spot that kind of personality because yeah a lot of people will default to more traditional stuff
Not anymore. For many years, I had a small group of friends; we did a regular "movie night" get-together. It was actually more often a "TV-series night" ... but also, much of the night was spent discussing stuff. We would choose things to watch that inspired conversation, and we would regularly stop the show to discuss/debate some idea spawned from the show. It sometimes took us all night to get through a single 1-hour episode.
Dinner and social "what's going on in our lives" chat was also part of it.
Then I moved to Europe, and I haven't (yet) figured out how to recreate that dynamic over here, and I tend to feel alone ... which is saying a lot for me, as I am quite the hermit compared to most people.
I have my best friend and his wife. I met him through a freethinkers meetup in the BFE I lived in that time. We became fast friends. They're both very peculiar individuals as, perhaps, am I. We're always talking about the strangest things.
Not really, other than my wife sometimes. That's why I post them here.
I also have 49 unpublished drafts on Substack. (Mostly just stubs.)
I think it comes in 2 tranches like you: a small group of good friends or from an external groups organized by a larger organization - usually an NGO - like you're talking about or one's that I've been invited to join by a friend or put together myself.
For good friends, I feel like there tends to be about 5 people in my life that indulge me in what I would call "rant-able" discussions. Ones that usually have some combination of ethics, society, innovation, politics, etc; and almost always require systems level thinking. Each topic has a smaller subset of that group that really make for good conversation, not that we'll agree on the topic but that we'll both be eager to engage with it and take each others positions seriously. Often perspectives will mold and shape and change as we get older, and in some cases we've both flipped to the others original opinion. These conversations feel like one chat in what has been and will continue to be a long series of discussions.
What I appreciate about groups like the one you mentioned is that 1. folks are showing up with the explicit purpose of engaging in these types of topics, 2. there can be a huge diversity of opinions and insights to glean from them, and 3. you can benefit from "strangers on a train" level honesty. I'm luck to work adjacent to "expedition" type folks, so these groups often have some of the movers and shakers from everything from epidemiology to astrology to archaeology to material science. There is a lot of subject expertise and while arguments can get heated the level of respect of the information being presented and trust in the participants in usually quite high. I think that trust is crucial to have an argument or even discussion in good faith. Also, the range of expertise helps fill out or provide wide context to what might otherwise be a myopic discussion. The last point is that in organized settings, particularly those that aren't industry specific, you can get away with having unpopular opinions and present your positions the way you actually feel. No need for kid gloves.
If find the former to be fulfilling in the day to day, and those conversations often shape how I perceive much of what is going on. The latter tend to be incredibly energizing, reviving some of the "sparkle" for following my own passions/endeavors and remaining optimistic about the world in general. I think they foster two very different parts of me and in turn foster each other.
No, but that's always been one of the greatest appeals of the internet to me. You can find people to talk about anything.
There is something magical about the human gregarious instinct. All prejudices, depressions, hatred, fear and anguish seem to disappear (at least temporarily) when humans actually meet other humans.