Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

DuckDuckGo’s AI Feature Is Telling Users That Trump Died of Rabies Earlier This Month

This is your reminder that LLMs are word machines, not truth machines. But you have to love the results of commitment to the bit.

In other news - Masayoshi Son of SoftBank has produced a meme for the ages.

Gracie the giraffe has gone missing in Texas

Texas officials are still on the lookout on Wednesday for a missing giraffe named Gracie.

"LOST GIRAFFE," says the title of a social media post on Monday from the Real County Animal Rescue-Shelter, a nonprofit based in Camp Wood, Texas.

[...]

The only description for Gracie in the post is that she has "rounded ears."

Ah yes, look for the rounded ear giraffe amongst the, I'm sure, many other wild and free Texas giraffes.

For the record, this is the second time in as many weeks that I've heard of missing giraffes in the US. At least the other giraffes were found.

Guys, stop misplacing your giraffes.

Guinness crowns the world’s loudest person at 122.4 decibels

Guinness World Records last week acknowledged the 58-year-old Canberra resident recorded the loudest ever shout by an individual. He yelled “now” at 122.4 decibels.

That broke the previous record of 121.7 dB set by Northern Ireland schoolteacher Annalisa Flanagan in 1994. She had yelled an ear-piercing “quiet.”

‘The Peanut Butter Smearer’ strikes at Ky. fair, several homes; raises safety concerns

While this is a legit safety concern for people with allergies, there's something surreal about it. Also, their video report at the top of the article is fantastic viewing. This line, spoken by a straight faced on-the-scene reporter, would've done numbers on Vine:

Right now this looks like a clean doorknob, but less than a day ago it was covered in peanut butter.

European Central Bank cracks down on ‘dictator’ as staff committee election goes rogue

In a formal reprimand published internally on June 18 and seen by POLITICO, the Bank's election committee sanctioned a candidate running for the staff committee, Jan Kuchta, over a campaign email sent to all ECB staff in which he styled himself as "Admiral General Jan Aladeen Kuchta" and appeared in AI-generated military uniforms adorned with European symbols.

The election committee, made up of seven randomly drawn members representing different levels of seniority among employees, concluded that while election campaigns may use "parody, sarcasm and irony," Kuchta's effort had crossed the line in his apparent attempts to mimic Sacha Baron Cohen's character "Aladeen" in the 2012 movie The Dictator.

By using a parody name, militaristic imagery, hyperbolic language and mixing "plausible statements together with visibly exaggerated or even impossible campaign claims," the campaign exceeded "the degree of rhetorical exaggeration compatible" with ECB ethical standards, the committee found.

Kuchta, who is an IT development specialist at the central bank, promised in his manifesto to replace social dialogue with "Mandatory Proletarian Solidarity Sessions," to ensure he won with "100 percent of the vote," and to introduce "Corrective Wellbeing Audits" for staff whose thinking had not yet aligned with official doctrine.

[...]

As for Kuchta's pledge to win 100 percent of the vote, he failed miserably in the elections held Tuesday, according to results seen by POLITICO. While he managed to double his score compared to the last election round, his 630 votes left him 13th out of 15 candidates and failed to secure him a seat on the committee.

Ed Norton watched Team USA Lose Tonight Left Him Talking To Himself

Spoiler alert; Fight Club

I'm not sure if this is appropriate or suitable, but the All Blacks squad for 2026 was announced earlier this week: https://www.allblacks.com/news/all-blacks/2026-all-blacks-and-maori-all-blacks-squads-named-monday

What's crazy to me is that of the 34 players announced, 9 of them are from the Hurricanes. This shouldn't be too surprising, as the Hurricanes beat the Chiefs with a whopping 60-5 in the finals for this season of Super Rugby: https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/sport/608292/hurricanes-blow-chiefs-away-in-windy-welly-to-win-super-rugby-pacific-title

Explanation: the All Blacks is the national rugby team for New Zealand, Hurricanes is the Wellington regional team and the Chiefs being the team for Hamilton.

Man with same name as U.S. Sen. Dan Sullivan is eligible for Alaska’s primary ballot, judge rules

Superior Court Judge Thomas Matthews’ ruling overturns a June 15 decision by Division of Elections Director Carol Beecher to disqualify the challenger and keep him off the primary ballot. Matthews’ ruling can be appealed to the state Supreme Court.

Attorneys for the state have said Tuesday is the deadline for a final ruling so that ballots for the Aug. 18 primary can be printed.

The judge ruled that the Division’s decision to exclude Dan J. Sullivan because his candidacy was not “in good faith” was not based on the Constitution, Alaska law or the Division’s own regulations. The retired teacher from the small fishing community of Petersburg filed to challenge the incumbent.

…

The challenger Sullivan has said that sharing a name and party affiliation with the incumbent gave him “an instant megaphone.” But the 69-year-old retired teacher and former U.S. Forest Service employee said he had considered a run for some time and had grown frustrated with the senator.

He initially was certified on the state’s candidate list as Dan J. Sullivan, with the senator listed as Dan S. Sullivan and identified as the incumbent