no subject
2020. That's when I met her.
To some of my close friends it sounds silly to them when I tell them we loved each other. It's hard for some people to grasp the intensity that a long distance relationship can have. But I don't have anything to prove to anyone - I truly did love her.
Being with an ace, I thought, would make things more complicated as I am not asexual myself. But if anything it made things simpler. It made the long distance easier to deal with. It made it easier to be patient. Easier to deal with her not being in my life all the time, because when push came to shove, she was in my life when I needed her to be. In fact, she was the main reason I labeled myself as polyamorous this year. I realised that I didn't want to pretend we were just friends anymore. I cared for her too much for that.
In so little time, she changed me into a better person. She taught me subtleties about love, sex, relationships but also about life in general. She helped me through mental struggles. She was my first call when we got my SO’s sister out of Kyiv this year. In fact, the day of the war, we talked for over six hours in a row.
She was always, always positive no matter the challenge. A true constant. Saw the flip side nobody else could see. No matter how ill she would get, she'd always brush it off and get back on her feet. In the two years I knew her, she had never made me cry, and her messages would always put a smile on my face.
Difficulty tends to make people stronger. She's had an incredibly difficult life, and was the toughest person I knew.
None of those challenges defined her. She was not defined by her gender, illness, sexuality. She was defined by her constant, absolute positivity. And her unending love for Korea.
She believed, as I do, that we're all one entity - the universe experiencing itself. That her role here had been to spread love and positivity. I hope everyone here will be lucky enough to meet someone like her, at some point in their life.
She was 30. The world is worse without her in it.
I only knew of her and learned of her struggles through talking to you over the last year+, but even so, I was still hit pretty hard when you told me the shocking news that she had died so suddenly. I don't want to speak out of turn and accidentally reveal anything about her that you or her family would rather keep private, but I feel compelled to say that she genuinely sounded like a wonderful, creative, compassionate, and passionate person. It breaks my heart that her life came to such a premature end, and I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Thank you. She really was all those things, and so much more. She reminds me a lot of kfwyre, you know what I mean?
I'm both honored and humbled.
What you wrote was a beautiful tribute to her. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you had the time with her that you did.
❤️
I mean it. You two are alike in many ways. I know you a lot less of course but she would have absolutely loved you, I am certain of that. I really wish you could have met.
I don't comment very often, and I have never really interacted with other users on a personal level, but I read almost every post and comment on this site. In a strange way, I feel like I know a lot of the users here.
I read this post this morning and thought about it a few times during the day. It was a beautiful tribute. I'm very sorry for your loss, Adys.
Thank you. I recognise your name either way :)
Ultimately, no one else gets to judge what was or was not between you two. The recognition of other people does not make it any more or any less important.
I do not share her or your belief about the universe, but that does not detract from her character, or her actions. Sometimes the world brings forth those people that just everybody likes. That are always welcome, always helping, always smiling, but unfortunately, it is usually the bright flames that burn the shortest.
Allow yourself to grieve. To process. Talking to people who knew you both well is a great place to do those things. Eventually, you will be able so say farewell, but that does not mean that she will be remembered any less or a detraction to her memory.
It's alright, you'll be okay.
Thank you. I know what you mean about bright flames burning quicker than the rest...
Unfortunately, there's just not that many people who really knew both of us. Distance was part of that factor. She worked in with a Korean demographic I never really interacted with, and until a few days ago I had never talked to her family. In fact, the only one who really knew the both of us at all is probably cfabbro.
So sorry for your loss, Adys. This is a beautiful tribute. I'm in tears. <3
❤️