I'm similarly annoyed by it, so you're definitely not alone, but I also have a theory, because I know people who are like this to some degree: They simply don't care. It's not malicious, it's not...
I'm similarly annoyed by it, so you're definitely not alone, but I also have a theory, because I know people who are like this to some degree:
They simply don't care. It's not malicious, it's not narcissistic, they simply don't comprehend that this action is affecting others, or under-value the power of this effect on others. But they like the music, so they turn it up. I don't understand the joy of being in that loud an environment, but will occasionally crank my headphones up at my desk.
I had a neighbor that did this during the pandemic and I'd just go knock on his door if it was waaay to loud/long. He was chill about it, and I tried to let him have it kinda loud. I figure bass carries, and it's the middle of the day, nbd, but if I can hear high end, you need to turn that shit down, and he agreed. Another neighbor, I'll have to bang on their door at midnight to turn their music down, usually when they aren't home but have friends/family babysitting. It also helps that I'm related to, and live with, the manager, but I'd try this even without the "power," because most people aren't actually bad, they're just a bit ignorant which can be easily corrected. Obviously, if you try and fail, there's a bigger problem. I also don't mean this to accuse you of "not doing enough" or anything, and I'm definitely in a different position.
As far as managing my issues with it, allowing some slack for my neighbor stemmed from one thing: I can't strictly control it, so I have to let it go.
Some do not care. Probably the majority of them, sure. Others are doing it to project an image. But frankly I don’t care about their motivation. The only thing it changes is the flavor of jerk...
Some do not care. Probably the majority of them, sure. Others are doing it to project an image.
But frankly I don’t care about their motivation. The only thing it changes is the flavor of jerk they are being and their willingness to stop bothering others.
I think knocklessmonster has a point though - some people simply don't get it. For such folks, if you ask them, they are more than happy to oblige.
But frankly I don’t care about their motivation. The only thing it changes is the flavor of jerk they are being and their willingness to stop bothering others.
I think knocklessmonster has a point though - some people simply don't get it. For such folks, if you ask them, they are more than happy to oblige.
Thanks for your thoughts. Have definitely spoken to neighbors. They are nice people. But ultimately I guess they don't care. I don't want to keep asking every single day, because I don't want them...
Thanks for your thoughts. Have definitely spoken to neighbors. They are nice people. But ultimately I guess they don't care. I don't want to keep asking every single day, because I don't want them to eventually tune out and stop complying. Right now, I save my "asking to turn it down" for days where it's a massive problem to me (trying to get work done and absolutely unable to.) When I ask, they turn it off completely. Unfortunately we have a big language barrier, and this further complicates things, because I can't easily communicate in a way that spares their feelings. We both have multiple languages, but don't have a common language.
As far as managing my issues with it, allowing some slack for my neighbor stemmed from one thing: I can't strictly control it, so I have to let it go.
Indeed. Can't control it. I guess I haven't mastered how to let it go. The problem is that when it's that rumbling bass, it's the constant thing that you keep hearing every few seconds. I find it so distracted, I can't easily work on anything. Maybe you can elaborate more on letting it go? Has this allowed you to not be distracted by it?
Can't control it is another thing... I also don't want to ruin my neighbors fun. It's their life too. I just wish I didn't have to live among people. I feel like they cause nothing but problems in my life haha
The only solution is to just let it go, but that is incredibly difficult. It's still a process, in my experience it started with an initial surrender, in a sense, and a gradual release of tension...
The only solution is to just let it go, but that is incredibly difficult. It's still a process, in my experience it started with an initial surrender, in a sense, and a gradual release of tension over time when it happened. It still annoys me occasionally, but I also basically set what I consider to be reasonable parameters: It's fun if I just hear a bit of bass in the room under them, a problem if it's punching through all of our walls into the entire apartment below them (mine) or I can hear the high frequencies coming through the floor.
If they're correcting when asked and are polite I'd assume they aren't trying to be rude, so keep asking until something breaks I guess? But try to ask them to turn it down specifically, which is the only way you can spare feelings/not ruin peoples fun. To a point, especially in tight living situations, mutual respect is the only healthy way to go. If they aren't respecting your space and at some point get annoyed at you asking them to, that's their problem not yours, but you'll have to find some other method of handling it.
Hey thanks, this is stellar advice. Thanks for describing the internal experience, very helpful. I will attempt it today, actually. I think I do have issues around control, at least, controlling...
The only solution is to just let it go, but that is incredibly difficult. It's still a process, in my experience it started with an initial surrender, in a sense, and a gradual release of tension over time when it happened. It still annoys me occasionally, but I also basically set what I consider to be reasonable parameters: It's fun if I just hear a bit of bass in the room under them, a problem if it's punching through all of our walls into the entire apartment below them (mine) or I can hear the high frequencies coming through the floor.
Hey thanks, this is stellar advice. Thanks for describing the internal experience, very helpful. I will attempt it today, actually. I think I do have issues around control, at least, controlling my environment, so perhaps it will be a useful exercise in many ways.
If they're correcting when asked and are polite I'd assume they aren't trying to be rude, so keep asking until something breaks I guess? But try to ask them to turn it down specifically, which is the only way you can spare feelings/not ruin peoples fun. To a point, especially in tight living situations, mutual respect is the only healthy way to go. If they aren't respecting your space and at some point get annoyed at you asking them to, that's their problem not yours, but you'll have to find some other method of handling it.
Correct, I do not believe these neighbors are rude, or attempting to be rude. In fact, I really enjoy them. We are always nice to each other, saying hello, and help each other out in simple ways. I feel happy they are my neighbors. The problem is if I even ask them to just turn it down, I think they feel so bad that they turn it off completely. Then I feel awful for ruining their fun. That's why I wish we had a common language, so I could express some more nuance. I'm sure they are equally as frustrated from that. Not uncommon as I live as many of us are from various communities, so not a big deal. Most the time this doesn't matter, but I feel a lot of discomfort making requests like this in unfamiliar languages, because I don't know how to express politeness and formality in languages other than my own ones, and I don't trust online translators to capture this.
i think I will focus for now on this idea of the internal surrender, and see if I can understand differences in that way. If not, I will try some better methods to communicate with my neighbors. The other problem is many other folks in the neighborhoods (ones in which I do share a common language actually) but those folks do not care and are simply selfish I hate to say, so that's just a situation where all you can do is bare it.
On the neighbors side, they probably don't know! There's not really a good way to see if the sound does or does not go through the walls aside from receiving complaints. I certainly like listening...
On the neighbors side, they probably don't know! There's not really a good way to see if the sound does or does not go through the walls aside from receiving complaints. I certainly like listening to loud music and movies, but do try to keep it in mind, especially with regards to the time of day. I don't think my preferred volume qualifies as "blasting" to any of my neighbors, but I have no idea how good the soundproofing in my apartment is.
Talking to them in person or writing a polite note informing them this is bothering you will probably help. Don't make it accusatory, but just let them know that their sound is bothering you and you'd appreciate if they turned it down a little bit.
I would, however, like to know what people who play their bluetooth speakers on public transit and while walking through the city are thinking.
I tell my young children: We are not a psychic species. If you don't tell someone you're having a problem, they'll never know. It's only inconsiderite if someone asked you to stop and you didn't,...
I tell my young children: We are not a psychic species. If you don't tell someone you're having a problem, they'll never know.
It's only inconsiderite if someone asked you to stop and you didn't, or are repeatedly being asked to stop.
I'd kill for a neigbor blasting music during the day. My asshole neighbor throws fireworks parties till 2 AM 20 feet from my bedroom window even after a few complaints.
On the flipside of that - one can be overly cautious and do their diligence to make sure they aren't causing problems. This is a mindset I adopted several years ago. Once I started being very...
I tell my young children: We are not a psychic species. If you don't tell someone you're having a problem, they'll never know.
On the flipside of that - one can be overly cautious and do their diligence to make sure they aren't causing problems. This is a mindset I adopted several years ago. Once I started being very aware of how my actions could impact others comfort, it was difficult to unsee. I'm sure there's still things I do that bothers others, and like you said, no way for me to know unless someone tells me . At the same time, since becoming very aware of the impact of my actions, it's changed the way I do things. I tend to preface everything I do with "how will this possibly impact others". It has a big impact on the way I act!
I agree, this is a fine way to approach things, generally. But sometimes this kind of thing manifests as always putting other's (sometimes imagined) desires before one's own, in perpetuity. And...
I agree, this is a fine way to approach things, generally. But sometimes this kind of thing manifests as always putting other's (sometimes imagined) desires before one's own, in perpetuity. And I've seen how self-destructive it can be in its own right.
A good balance is best IMO. Do what you like, but if someone asks you to change/stop, be mindful of that request in the future, not just the moment.
Very good point and I agree with you on this. I definitely teetered into the "put everyone before myself" for a very long time due to this. Now I am working to find a balance. It can be difficult,...
Very good point and I agree with you on this. I definitely teetered into the "put everyone before myself" for a very long time due to this. Now I am working to find a balance. It can be difficult, but I still think it's worth it to be mindful of how my actions impact others. And I'm ok if I had to endure some amount of of "putting everyone before myself" for a while, to arrive at this more healthy balance. I look around me, and see so much suffering in the world that could be eliminated if people just... stopped and considered how they are impacting others. I'm not saying it is the cause of all suffering of course.. just many instances. I want to do my part to reduce that suffering.
You might check it out one day. I am very hesitant to make noise in my home, because I don't want to bother others. If I think it might be able to hear it outside, I put the sound on, then go...
On the neighbors side, they probably don't know! There's not really a good way to see if the sound does or does not go through the walls aside from receiving complaints. I certainly like listening to loud music and movies, but do try to keep it in mind, especially with regards to the time of day. I don't think my preferred volume qualifies as "blasting" to any of my neighbors, but I have no idea how good the soundproofing in my apartment is.
You might check it out one day. I am very hesitant to make noise in my home, because I don't want to bother others. If I think it might be able to hear it outside, I put the sound on, then go outside and shut the door, and see if I hear it. If I can, I turn it down until I can't hear beyond my own space. I feel it's a simple thing I can do that can possibly spare someone else misery.
Talking to them in person or writing a polite note informing them this is bothering you will probably help. Don't make it accusatory, but just let them know that their sound is bothering you and you'd appreciate if they turned it down a little bit.
I have surely attempted this, and yes I am very polite in discussions. They are accommodating and feel embarrassed and then appear to forget later on. It's a very uncomfortable situation as I don't want them to feel bad.
I would, however, like to know what people who play their bluetooth speakers on public transit and while walking through the city are thinking.
Interestingly - I don't mind these folks. This used to be common where I lived. People equip the bicycle with a big speaker and blast as they ride through. I don't care because they are just there, and then they are gone. I can deal with a few seconds disturbance, I don't really care. It's when it's right beside you, unescapable, that it becomes terrible (for me at least).
Oh yeah, I've left the music on while taking trash down the hall and haven't heard it through the door; that's a pretty clear signal that it's too loud. But who knows what the walls look like (or...
Oh yeah, I've left the music on while taking trash down the hall and haven't heard it through the door; that's a pretty clear signal that it's too loud. But who knows what the walls look like (or how well bass travels through the floor/ceiling).
My ultimate dream is to move to a very remote place with no neighbors, and mostly away from humanity. That's a few years away, and trying to find strategies not to lose my mind until then.
My ultimate dream is to move to a very remote place with no neighbors, and mostly away from humanity. That's a few years away, and trying to find strategies not to lose my mind until then.
Personally, I love the peace of solitude and nature. I think I'm happiest if I can go days, weeks at at a time and not encounter another person. But I get this is not for everyone.
Personally, I love the peace of solitude and nature. I think I'm happiest if I can go days, weeks at at a time and not encounter another person. But I get this is not for everyone.
My dad would do this shit all the time when I was growing up. He's blast rock and Mexican music all night long and I lived above where he'd play the music well into the night. I'd yell at him...
My dad would do this shit all the time when I was growing up. He's blast rock and Mexican music all night long and I lived above where he'd play the music well into the night. I'd yell at him because I had school at like 7am and a lot of them were college classes when I was in high-school.
In the end he like the people out on the road or your neighbors aren't doing it out of malice, they just don't fucking care. I don't know which is worse sometimes to be honest with you.
Re. noise cancelling headphones, are they over the ear headphones or earbuds? I find that my over the ear QuietComfort 35 ii's block out my neighbour's bassy music extremely effectively, and the...
Re. noise cancelling headphones, are they over the ear headphones or earbuds? I find that my over the ear QuietComfort 35 ii's block out my neighbour's bassy music extremely effectively, and the analysis that rtings did on their successors shows that they should perform best on bass anyhow.
My ultimate dream is to move to a very remote place with no neighbors, and mostly away from humanity. That's a few years away, and trying to find strategies not to lose my mind until then.
Hey thanks. The ones I have are over ear. Sadly I can not afford any nicer noise canceling phones. Another issue is I am weary to wear them for long periods of time to ongoing vistibular issues....
I have recently got some custom molded ear plugs. I don't have them yet, but I will see. Previously, I used mack's silicon plugs. But those damn things stop working so quickly, and are expensive, so I hate putting them in during the day. i hope with more permenant custom molded silicone ones, I will be more at ease to put them in during the day.
This is one of the big reasons I moved out of a "big city" (DFW suburb) into a quieter area. I was fortunate enough for the stars to align (I work remote, covid housing boom was in full effect, I...
This is one of the big reasons I moved out of a "big city" (DFW suburb) into a quieter area. I was fortunate enough for the stars to align (I work remote, covid housing boom was in full effect, I had a place to land for 7 months while I looked for a place, etc.) and I don't miss it at all. The constant house parties, people driving by with their imitation kicker demo semi trucks, plus the terrible build quality of the house I had there meant I could hear people's conversations on the sidewalk from inside my office, it was just too much.
What's funny is I'm one of those people, just not in residential areas, stoplights, etc. If I'm on the highway, I'm jamming just under distortion levels. I just turn the shit down if I'm near someone that might be able to hear/feel it.
Part of it can be projecting an image. The music is loud, you can hear me coming, get out of my way because I'm not stopping. I won't lie, when the weather is nice I like to open it up and crank...
Part of it can be projecting an image. The music is loud, you can hear me coming, get out of my way because I'm not stopping. I won't lie, when the weather is nice I like to open it up and crank it up sometimes but I prefer to keep that to the highways. The bass? Well, that feels different to everyone. One person (who designed competition stereoes for cars) was incredibly nice and just loved the rumble of bass. He would put his head on speakers at music venues. Another thought it would impress women in the back of his Impala and the music would rattle his windows as well as all the ones on the block. He was also a former methhead.
Now, in the house? If I'm cleaning sometimes I have my sound system up so I can hear it throughout the house but mine isn't excessive, just a couple of good home theater speakers, so you don't get that low end through the whole town. If my neighbor is blasting his music? Well, I point my subs at the wall and maybe put on a war flick for a bit.
The world has gotten more hostile and isolationist, with community breaking down all over the place, I didn't even know a few of my neighbors before the smell of pot, loud music and angry 3am visitors introduced me to them.
I hate to sound peachy but the "Remember the human" part of the rules picks up here. You're not a human in their mind. You're just another meat bag in the city with them. Just another background character in their life and if they want to listen to their music? They're going to. I need people to hear my loud motorcycle and my classic rock so that they know that I don't care what they think about me because I'm cool.
How to deal with it is to either engage them and let them see that their actions have negative impacts on their local community, either by words or action (A brick through the window with "turn down the music asshole" is a possibility), or report them for noise violations and hopefully management will do something about it.
I'm similarly annoyed by it, so you're definitely not alone, but I also have a theory, because I know people who are like this to some degree:
They simply don't care. It's not malicious, it's not narcissistic, they simply don't comprehend that this action is affecting others, or under-value the power of this effect on others. But they like the music, so they turn it up. I don't understand the joy of being in that loud an environment, but will occasionally crank my headphones up at my desk.
I had a neighbor that did this during the pandemic and I'd just go knock on his door if it was waaay to loud/long. He was chill about it, and I tried to let him have it kinda loud. I figure bass carries, and it's the middle of the day, nbd, but if I can hear high end, you need to turn that shit down, and he agreed. Another neighbor, I'll have to bang on their door at midnight to turn their music down, usually when they aren't home but have friends/family babysitting. It also helps that I'm related to, and live with, the manager, but I'd try this even without the "power," because most people aren't actually bad, they're just a bit ignorant which can be easily corrected. Obviously, if you try and fail, there's a bigger problem. I also don't mean this to accuse you of "not doing enough" or anything, and I'm definitely in a different position.
As far as managing my issues with it, allowing some slack for my neighbor stemmed from one thing: I can't strictly control it, so I have to let it go.
Some do not care. Probably the majority of them, sure. Others are doing it to project an image.
But frankly I don’t care about their motivation. The only thing it changes is the flavor of jerk they are being and their willingness to stop bothering others.
I think knocklessmonster has a point though - some people simply don't get it. For such folks, if you ask them, they are more than happy to oblige.
Hanlon's Razor :
I'd substitute "ignorance" instead of "stupidity" here, but the principle is the same. Assume good faith until proven otherwise.
Thanks for your thoughts. Have definitely spoken to neighbors. They are nice people. But ultimately I guess they don't care. I don't want to keep asking every single day, because I don't want them to eventually tune out and stop complying. Right now, I save my "asking to turn it down" for days where it's a massive problem to me (trying to get work done and absolutely unable to.) When I ask, they turn it off completely. Unfortunately we have a big language barrier, and this further complicates things, because I can't easily communicate in a way that spares their feelings. We both have multiple languages, but don't have a common language.
Indeed. Can't control it. I guess I haven't mastered how to let it go. The problem is that when it's that rumbling bass, it's the constant thing that you keep hearing every few seconds. I find it so distracted, I can't easily work on anything. Maybe you can elaborate more on letting it go? Has this allowed you to not be distracted by it?
Can't control it is another thing... I also don't want to ruin my neighbors fun. It's their life too. I just wish I didn't have to live among people. I feel like they cause nothing but problems in my life haha
The only solution is to just let it go, but that is incredibly difficult. It's still a process, in my experience it started with an initial surrender, in a sense, and a gradual release of tension over time when it happened. It still annoys me occasionally, but I also basically set what I consider to be reasonable parameters: It's fun if I just hear a bit of bass in the room under them, a problem if it's punching through all of our walls into the entire apartment below them (mine) or I can hear the high frequencies coming through the floor.
If they're correcting when asked and are polite I'd assume they aren't trying to be rude, so keep asking until something breaks I guess? But try to ask them to turn it down specifically, which is the only way you can spare feelings/not ruin peoples fun. To a point, especially in tight living situations, mutual respect is the only healthy way to go. If they aren't respecting your space and at some point get annoyed at you asking them to, that's their problem not yours, but you'll have to find some other method of handling it.
Hey thanks, this is stellar advice. Thanks for describing the internal experience, very helpful. I will attempt it today, actually. I think I do have issues around control, at least, controlling my environment, so perhaps it will be a useful exercise in many ways.
Correct, I do not believe these neighbors are rude, or attempting to be rude. In fact, I really enjoy them. We are always nice to each other, saying hello, and help each other out in simple ways. I feel happy they are my neighbors. The problem is if I even ask them to just turn it down, I think they feel so bad that they turn it off completely. Then I feel awful for ruining their fun. That's why I wish we had a common language, so I could express some more nuance. I'm sure they are equally as frustrated from that. Not uncommon as I live as many of us are from various communities, so not a big deal. Most the time this doesn't matter, but I feel a lot of discomfort making requests like this in unfamiliar languages, because I don't know how to express politeness and formality in languages other than my own ones, and I don't trust online translators to capture this.
i think I will focus for now on this idea of the internal surrender, and see if I can understand differences in that way. If not, I will try some better methods to communicate with my neighbors. The other problem is many other folks in the neighborhoods (ones in which I do share a common language actually) but those folks do not care and are simply selfish I hate to say, so that's just a situation where all you can do is bare it.
On the neighbors side, they probably don't know! There's not really a good way to see if the sound does or does not go through the walls aside from receiving complaints. I certainly like listening to loud music and movies, but do try to keep it in mind, especially with regards to the time of day. I don't think my preferred volume qualifies as "blasting" to any of my neighbors, but I have no idea how good the soundproofing in my apartment is.
Talking to them in person or writing a polite note informing them this is bothering you will probably help. Don't make it accusatory, but just let them know that their sound is bothering you and you'd appreciate if they turned it down a little bit.
I would, however, like to know what people who play their bluetooth speakers on public transit and while walking through the city are thinking.
I tell my young children: We are not a psychic species. If you don't tell someone you're having a problem, they'll never know.
It's only inconsiderite if someone asked you to stop and you didn't, or are repeatedly being asked to stop.
I'd kill for a neigbor blasting music during the day. My asshole neighbor throws fireworks parties till 2 AM 20 feet from my bedroom window even after a few complaints.
On the flipside of that - one can be overly cautious and do their diligence to make sure they aren't causing problems. This is a mindset I adopted several years ago. Once I started being very aware of how my actions could impact others comfort, it was difficult to unsee. I'm sure there's still things I do that bothers others, and like you said, no way for me to know unless someone tells me . At the same time, since becoming very aware of the impact of my actions, it's changed the way I do things. I tend to preface everything I do with "how will this possibly impact others". It has a big impact on the way I act!
I agree, this is a fine way to approach things, generally. But sometimes this kind of thing manifests as always putting other's (sometimes imagined) desires before one's own, in perpetuity. And I've seen how self-destructive it can be in its own right.
A good balance is best IMO. Do what you like, but if someone asks you to change/stop, be mindful of that request in the future, not just the moment.
Very good point and I agree with you on this. I definitely teetered into the "put everyone before myself" for a very long time due to this. Now I am working to find a balance. It can be difficult, but I still think it's worth it to be mindful of how my actions impact others. And I'm ok if I had to endure some amount of of "putting everyone before myself" for a while, to arrive at this more healthy balance. I look around me, and see so much suffering in the world that could be eliminated if people just... stopped and considered how they are impacting others. I'm not saying it is the cause of all suffering of course.. just many instances. I want to do my part to reduce that suffering.
You might check it out one day. I am very hesitant to make noise in my home, because I don't want to bother others. If I think it might be able to hear it outside, I put the sound on, then go outside and shut the door, and see if I hear it. If I can, I turn it down until I can't hear beyond my own space. I feel it's a simple thing I can do that can possibly spare someone else misery.
I have surely attempted this, and yes I am very polite in discussions. They are accommodating and feel embarrassed and then appear to forget later on. It's a very uncomfortable situation as I don't want them to feel bad.
Interestingly - I don't mind these folks. This used to be common where I lived. People equip the bicycle with a big speaker and blast as they ride through. I don't care because they are just there, and then they are gone. I can deal with a few seconds disturbance, I don't really care. It's when it's right beside you, unescapable, that it becomes terrible (for me at least).
Oh yeah, I've left the music on while taking trash down the hall and haven't heard it through the door; that's a pretty clear signal that it's too loud. But who knows what the walls look like (or how well bass travels through the floor/ceiling).
My ultimate dream is to move to a very remote place with no neighbors, and mostly away from humanity. That's a few years away, and trying to find strategies not to lose my mind until then.
Huh - I'd probably lose my mind if I was that far away from everyone. Thankfully my neighbors aren't jackasses.
Personally, I love the peace of solitude and nature. I think I'm happiest if I can go days, weeks at at a time and not encounter another person. But I get this is not for everyone.
My dad would do this shit all the time when I was growing up. He's blast rock and Mexican music all night long and I lived above where he'd play the music well into the night. I'd yell at him because I had school at like 7am and a lot of them were college classes when I was in high-school.
In the end he like the people out on the road or your neighbors aren't doing it out of malice, they just don't fucking care. I don't know which is worse sometimes to be honest with you.
Re. noise cancelling headphones, are they over the ear headphones or earbuds? I find that my over the ear QuietComfort 35 ii's block out my neighbour's bassy music extremely effectively, and the analysis that rtings did on their successors shows that they should perform best on bass anyhow.
Same; best of luck to both of us :)
Hey thanks. The ones I have are over ear. Sadly I can not afford any nicer noise canceling phones. Another issue is I am weary to wear them for long periods of time to ongoing vistibular issues. obscure case, but enough to make me cautious due to my existing issues.
I have recently got some custom molded ear plugs. I don't have them yet, but I will see. Previously, I used mack's silicon plugs. But those damn things stop working so quickly, and are expensive, so I hate putting them in during the day. i hope with more permenant custom molded silicone ones, I will be more at ease to put them in during the day.
This is one of the big reasons I moved out of a "big city" (DFW suburb) into a quieter area. I was fortunate enough for the stars to align (I work remote, covid housing boom was in full effect, I had a place to land for 7 months while I looked for a place, etc.) and I don't miss it at all. The constant house parties, people driving by with their imitation kicker demo semi trucks, plus the terrible build quality of the house I had there meant I could hear people's conversations on the sidewalk from inside my office, it was just too much.
What's funny is I'm one of those people, just not in residential areas, stoplights, etc. If I'm on the highway, I'm jamming just under distortion levels. I just turn the shit down if I'm near someone that might be able to hear/feel it.
Part of it can be projecting an image. The music is loud, you can hear me coming, get out of my way because I'm not stopping. I won't lie, when the weather is nice I like to open it up and crank it up sometimes but I prefer to keep that to the highways. The bass? Well, that feels different to everyone. One person (who designed competition stereoes for cars) was incredibly nice and just loved the rumble of bass. He would put his head on speakers at music venues. Another thought it would impress women in the back of his Impala and the music would rattle his windows as well as all the ones on the block. He was also a former methhead.
Now, in the house? If I'm cleaning sometimes I have my sound system up so I can hear it throughout the house but mine isn't excessive, just a couple of good home theater speakers, so you don't get that low end through the whole town. If my neighbor is blasting his music? Well, I point my subs at the wall and maybe put on a war flick for a bit.
The world has gotten more hostile and isolationist, with community breaking down all over the place, I didn't even know a few of my neighbors before the smell of pot, loud music and angry 3am visitors introduced me to them.
I hate to sound peachy but the "Remember the human" part of the rules picks up here. You're not a human in their mind. You're just another meat bag in the city with them. Just another background character in their life and if they want to listen to their music? They're going to. I need people to hear my loud motorcycle and my classic rock so that they know that I don't care what they think about me because I'm cool.
How to deal with it is to either engage them and let them see that their actions have negative impacts on their local community, either by words or action (A brick through the window with "turn down the music asshole" is a possibility), or report them for noise violations and hopefully management will do something about it.
What? Can you speak up?
haha yes, finding humor in it is one strategy I think.