Cldfire's recent activity
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Comment on ‘The Fall Guy’ box office disappointment hurts more than opening weekend in ~movies
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Comment on ‘The Fall Guy’ box office disappointment hurts more than opening weekend in ~movies
Cldfire LinkI saw fall guy on opening night, and while I wouldn't put it in my top 10 list or anything, I thought it was fun and good enough to warrant the ticket price (which I can't say about Madame Web)....I saw fall guy on opening night, and while I wouldn't put it in my top 10 list or anything, I thought it was fun and good enough to warrant the ticket price (which I can't say about Madame Web).
The theater was basically empty, though.
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Comment on Who's in your corner? in ~talk
Cldfire LinkI have a number of less-than-ordinary relationships due to my background in life. I was homeschooled and raised in a cult from the time I was a small child. While I was able to go to a couple of...- Exemplary
I have a number of less-than-ordinary relationships due to my background in life. I was homeschooled and raised in a cult from the time I was a small child. While I was able to go to a couple of small, public colleges between the ages of 15-19 (albeit only as a commuter), I didn't make it out of the cult until the age of 21. As you might imagine both of these things had and continue to have a massive impact on every part of my life, including who I met and was allowed to meet and who I was allowed to be friends with.
The cult met for religious services weekly and also had a number of other assorted events, youth camps, group trips, etc. In the early years I met another cult kid who I'll refer to as Jake, who was slightly younger than I. After some time Jake's congregation merged with mine; we got to know each other a bit better. Our friend group would play the Pokemon TCG after services every week (a long sought-after privilege that some of us, specifically me, fought a years-long war with our parent over revolving around whether or not Pokemon were satanic beings 🙃). We'd debate over strategies, talk about video games, generally good vibes. Some of the fonder memories I have of the past, for sure.
Some years went by, and then Jake's family packed up and moved a few states away; their dad had gotten a new job. We said goodbye, and while we still saw each other a few times a year at various cult events, for the most part we drifted apart, as people that live hundreds of miles apart tend to do.
A few years later we reconnected over Fortnite. Jake and I had a great four-man squad that we played with every night during summer break. Another standout period of fond memories from my past (cut short by my parents going through a cult-fueled divorce at the end of the summer, but that's neither here nor there). My life changed a lot very quickly and Jake and I began to drift apart again. It was around this time that a disturbing trend emerged: Jake's behavior was veering farther and farther away from what what the cult considered to be acceptable.
For those who may not be aware, a foundational element of many cults is that there's an "in-group" and an "out-group". Cult leaders put lots and lots of effort into somehow creating as large of a gap as possible between the two groups and simultaneously making it very vague where exactly the lines are between the two, often doing both in a single sentence. These seemingly incompatible goals enable administrators to wield a very flexible and very powerful tool: being able to quickly and effortlessly define anyone as a member of the out-group, and knowing that as soon as that's done the target will be shunned by the in-group. In fact, oftentimes the higher-ups need not lift a finger; the in-group is generously always on the lookout for a way to find new people to kick into the out-group!
Jake reached a point in life where he faced some difficulties. Out of respect for his privacy, I'll broadly say that he faced some serious health-related challenges. The cult, as it were, had Opinions about these challenges, whether or not they were legitimate, and how they should be addressed. (Much of this I learned details about later on.) It probably goes without saying, but the cult was Very Fucking Wrong, and it made Jake's challenges roughly 10x worse than they perhaps otherwise would have been. Naturally this led Jake towards questioning the system. He began to Learn Things. His behavior changed. Rumors began to go around. He was falling away; he was a Problem Child; he was dangerous to be close with. I'm extremely ashamed to say that I was one of those who reported some of Jake's "bad behavior". I told Jake he was wrong, he was out-of-line, he was going down a dangerous path. I minimized Jake's challenges. I worked to reinforce the narrative of the cult.
I failed Jake. It's one of my biggest regrets in life, and there's nothing I can say to justify or moralize the fact that I wasn't there for him during that time. Jake left the cult, and I got to see, I got to feel, first-hand, what it meant for someone to make that choice. I sat in on the conversations where teens and adults alike wrote him off as a hopeless, lost soul. I fucking participated in those conversations. I said, did, and thought things I'm not proud of. It's hard to convey those moments, those feelings, those conversations, to one who's never been in such a system. The way that a whole living, breathing, human being, a whole person, can just be thrown out with the trash. They matter; but only in the most base sense of the word, only through the veil of the fact that it's not yet acceptable in the group to say bad things past a certain line about the out-group. It's a disgusting way to choose to build one's worldview. And I built mine that way.
More time goes by. I get a "real" job, I move out and start living on my own, I get the very, very fortunate opportunity to travel. See the world a little bit. Pull my head out of the fucking sand and realize that the out-group is pretty big, and maybe not quite like what I was taught.
Not long after that I come across some banned material about the past, the kind that could get you paid a visit from your local higher-up if you didn't keep it to yourself. My brain awoke from a decade-long slumber and went "holy shit, wait, what? The people in this system go out of their way to paint the rosiest picture of the past that they possibly can, to the point where it's actively annoying how much they talk about it. And somehow they've never mentioned the fact that fifty years ago this organization taught that doctors were evil, medicine was banned, becoming sick or being injured was a direct result of breaking the rules, and lots of people fucking died because of it???". I'll spare the details, but lots of ex-cult members who share their experiences online describe a very similar moment. It's like a light switch flips in your head, your whole perspective on the world just shatters into a million pieces. It was only a matter of months from that moment to when I turned my back on the whole system forever.
It just so happened that Jake and I showed up at a graduation event for someone we both knew right as I was starting to connect the dots. We had been in touch here and there over the years, but for the most part we hadn't really spoken since his departure. We reconnected that day in person and online afterwards, and I'm incredibly proud to say that he gave me the kind of support that I wish I could have given him when he needed it. He shared all kinds of helpful resources with me, gave me a place to vent, share my discoveries and frustrations. He was a great friend with a very unique understanding of what I was going through right when I needed it. So it was deeply ironic that as I prepared to make a clean break, I knew exactly what it would look like. I knew that I would permanently destroy or badly damage almost every relationship I had in life, even with my family; I knew the kinds of things people who had once been close to me would say to each other, in whispers, in writing, in DMs, in group chats, but never to my face; I knew exactly how they would view me, look down on me. Exactly what it would feel and be like from their perspective. The reason I knew all of this so well, so intimately, was because of my participation in it when Jake had left years prior. And then I left, and he was right there to comfort me as I went through what he had.
I am incredibly thankful for Jake. I'm inspired by his love and ability to forgive me for the poor decisions I've made in the past. I wish that I could go back in time and change those decisions, and I can't; but I can make better ones in the future, and I hope I will.
All of which to say: Jake is in my corner! He's a human being, a whole person. He deserves love, friendship, and to be embraced for who he is, just like all of us do. And it means a lot to me that he's in my life.
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Comment on OpenAI releases Sora: Creating video from text in ~tech
Cldfire Link ParentWhy store the rendered output when your client device can simply re-generate the output from the prompt in real-time?Google will buy Hong Kong just to have the factory muscle to churn out storage and processing space so Youtube doesn't crash under the near infinite torrent of custom meme stuff people will be uploading every minute.
Why store the rendered output when your client device can simply re-generate the output from the prompt in real-time?
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Comment on Favorite smoothie recipes? in ~food
Cldfire LinkRelated thread from August: People who make smoothies, what are your favorite ingredient combinations or spices?Related thread from August: People who make smoothies, what are your favorite ingredient combinations or spices?
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Comment on Are there areas where the antivax crowd have a point? in ~health
Cldfire LinkMy mother is also an extreme anti-vax movement member, and no, their arguments hold no water as others here have mentioned. This is a great book that covers the dishonest origins of the modern...My mother is also an extreme anti-vax movement member, and no, their arguments hold no water as others here have mentioned.
This is a great book that covers the dishonest origins of the modern anti-vax movement: The Doctor Who Fooled the World: Science, Deception, and the War on Vaccines by Brian Deer.
If you prefer a more casual video format, hbomberguy made a video on the contents of the book here: Vaccines and Autism: A Measured Response.
As a side note, for a long time I struggled with your question as well. In particular, I was concerned that rebutting anti-vax arguments had to be done carefully and with a sensitivity for their fears, since there can be (and are) real issues with vaccines. I eventually realized that this was completely wrong; anti-vax arguments have to be treated like right-wing politics, which means even being willing to hold a conversation around their talking points is lending credibility to their lies. The correct strategy is to refuse to engage. You can only have a rational discussion about actual problems with vaccines with people who are not part of a crazy conspiracy theory against them.
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Comment on How many of you wouldn't be alive if it weren't for modern medicine? in ~talk
Cldfire LinkTwo years ago I had Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and had to have an emergency surgery to remove half a rib and replace part of the vein going into my right arm. Without modern medicine I would at...Two years ago I had Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and had to have an emergency surgery to remove half a rib and replace part of the vein going into my right arm. Without modern medicine I would at minimum have lost an arm and likely would have ended up dying via the clot dislodging and going to my heart.
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Comment on What minor or inane decisions have had the biggest butterfly effect on your life? in ~talk
Cldfire LinkI was playing a game of Rocket League one day when I was a teenager. I scored a goal (pretty typical stuff) and while the goal replay was playing, a chat message popped up on screen from the...I was playing a game of Rocket League one day when I was a teenager. I scored a goal (pretty typical stuff) and while the goal replay was playing, a chat message popped up on screen from the opposing player I had scored against. "I'll ban you from IRC m8." (At the time I was a moderator on a Minecraft forums site, and this person and I were in a couple channels together on the site's IRC server, although we hadn't really directly interacted.)
We bantered back and forth for the rest of the game, partied up, and played together for a while. Added each other on Steam and Discord. We would go on to play hundreds of hours of Rocket League together; he would pull me away from learning Java towards learning Rust; introduce me to a great friend group of programmers far smarter than myself, and we would work on open-source stuff and chat about tech and life. I lived in a small suburb and for Reasons outside my control had very few friends (none of whom were into technology whatsoever), so this friend group quite literally changed the course of my life. It didn't end there either; he referred me for my first internship working on his team at a company that would go on to offer me a full-time position at the end of my term, that I dropped out of my (very shitty) school to accept. Fast forward a few years, we're both still working there together, and I have another great friend group with some former colleagues that's a big part of my life today.
So a chance Rocket League encounter turned into a friendship that had (and has) a core impact every aspect of my life. And my parents always told me you can never make true friends online! 🫣
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Comment on My friend was hit by a car in ~transport
Cldfire (edited )LinkI grappled with this moral dilemma when I first started driving as a teenager. It was astonishing to me how one day I wasn't allowed on the road, and the next day I was controlling a vehicle that...At any time, without warning, the life of someone you care about could be immediately taken away because we have a culture that normalizes driving a dangerous vehicle with basically zero oversight; and because our roads are designed for car throughput and not to be safe for vulnerable people.
I grappled with this moral dilemma when I first started driving as a teenager. It was astonishing to me how one day I wasn't allowed on the road, and the next day I was controlling a vehicle that with the slightest mistake could kill anyone around me. This fear was so strong that every time I went out for a driving lesson my body started visibly shaking (ironically making it more difficult for me to safely control the car). When I got my full license I didn't even want to go out and drive alone; my parents had to push me into it.
Of course, I lived in a car-dependent suburb surrounded by car-dependent suburbs and car-dependent cities, so I had no choice in the matter. The nearest bus access was over an hour away by bike (if you wanted to bike on deadly suburban roads the entire time). Over time my fear of driving was replaced with boredom out of pure necessity, and the dangers of driving became mundane. I'll never forget what it felt like in the beginning, though. We desperately need to build a society where freedom and agency for children and teenagers isn't locked behind being driven in or driving cars.
(Also in the years since I've been able to move to NYC and now live a car-free life. Happy ending!)
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Comment on I skipped to the ending in ~life
Cldfire LinkThanks for sharing! I'm in a somewhat similar life situation to yours pre-Google, and I found this very insightful. I've often wondered if a jump to such a mature company would help me grow or...Thanks for sharing! I'm in a somewhat similar life situation to yours pre-Google, and I found this very insightful. I've often wondered if a jump to such a mature company would help me grow or kill my enthusiasm.
It helps illustrate the case-by-case nature of large organizations: some teams are fantastic and some are downright miserable, and it's not always easy to know which is which beforehand. Sometimes you take the plunge and find out the hard way.
It's also helpful to realize the importance of expectations when thinking about famous industry players. No matter the legacy, they're all normal businesses at the end of the day.
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Comment on What home network equipment do you use? in ~comp
Cldfire LinkI've used a single Google Wifi router for years and it's served me very well so far.I've used a single Google Wifi router for years and it's served me very well so far.
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Comment on Why is Popeyes so good? in ~food
Cldfire Link ParentThey have many different spice levels going all the way down to "no spice", so I think they'll definitely have something that fits your spice profile 😄They have many different spice levels going all the way down to "no spice", so I think they'll definitely have something that fits your spice profile 😄
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Comment on Why is Popeyes so good? in ~food
Cldfire LinkPopeyes is definitely good. I also really like Dave's Hot Chicken, both for their sliders and tenders. It gets actually spicy too the higher up you go on the heat scale!Popeyes is definitely good. I also really like Dave's Hot Chicken, both for their sliders and tenders. It gets actually spicy too the higher up you go on the heat scale!
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Comment on Building websites like digital paper-- intuitive, mixed media, flexible, and fun in ~comp
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Comment on How do you keep track of your subscriptions? in ~tech
Cldfire LinkI keep track of my subscriptions and all other aspects of my financials using Actual Budget, where I've hand-entered every financial transaction I've ever made since I was a teenager 🙌...I keep track of my subscriptions and all other aspects of my financials using Actual Budget, where I've hand-entered every financial transaction I've ever made since I was a teenager 🙌 https://actualbudget.org/
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Comment on How to manage passkey authentication for a Nintendo account in ~tech
Cldfire LinkNintendo has released support for passkeys, as detailed in this support article.Nintendo has released support for passkeys, as detailed in this support article.
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How to manage passkey authentication for a Nintendo account
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Comment on GitHub slated to mandate 2FA in ~comp
Cldfire LinkUse a passkey for authentication on GitHub! Then you don't have to worry about MFA at all, among other benefits.Use a passkey for authentication on GitHub! Then you don't have to worry about MFA at all, among other benefits.
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Comment on An announcement regarding Kris Nóva in ~comp
Cldfire LinkThis is incredibly sad news. I knew of them through their work building Hachyderm, a Mastodon server. The transparency with which it was built gave me great confidence in the platform, and I have...This is incredibly sad news. I knew of them through their work building Hachyderm, a Mastodon server. The transparency with which it was built gave me great confidence in the platform, and I have enjoyed my account there since late last year. Kris's Twitch streams working on the project were illuminating as well.
Well wishes to those close to them in this difficult time.
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Comment on The world's newest metro is here! | Montréal REM in ~transport
Cldfire LinkI'll be in Montreal in a couple of months and I can't wait to ride the REM!I'll be in Montreal in a couple of months and I can't wait to ride the REM!
Gran Turismo was really good! After seeing it I did a little research and found out they heavily edited the timeline of the key events in the story, which was a bit disappointing. But even so, it was a fun watch.