Felicity's recent activity
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Comment on Why I am pursuing a life, professionally and personally, of Christian Virtue in ~humanities
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Comment on What’s something you’re personally proud of from this year? in ~life
Felicity Link ParentIt's hard to say, but I think that as I escaped the depression that took hold of me in my teens it just naturally happened. I never felt like I had any real agency in my life because, well, I...It's hard to say, but I think that as I escaped the depression that took hold of me in my teens it just naturally happened. I never felt like I had any real agency in my life because, well, I didn't care enough. I was a passenger in my body, and I liked it that way, especially after growing up as largely a social outcast due to undiagnosed ADHD and most likely autism, among plain old bullying.
I can trace it all back to four years ago when I started therapy. Though I stopped after a year and a half, it gave me the perspective I needed to understand that something was very wrong with how I lived, and that it didn't need to be that way.
But really, the trigger was meeting my partner. Having someone who wanted me to make the journey and believed in me to boot was more motivating than I knew it could be. Every time I started to spiral, they'd pop up in my mind, and something inside of me gave that extra push.
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Comment on What’s something you’re personally proud of from this year? in ~life
Felicity LinkFinally moved to the Netherlands to live with my partner. Ever since I was in my teens it's been a dream of mine to leave where I was born for so many reasons. Earlier this year the wires finally...Finally moved to the Netherlands to live with my partner. Ever since I was in my teens it's been a dream of mine to leave where I was born for so many reasons. Earlier this year the wires finally crossed in my mind and I realized that because of my EU citizenship I can quite simply get on a plane and leave, which is what happened earlier this week.
The reason I'm proud of it is because I haven't really accomplished much by myself throughout my admittedly still young life. At almost every turn, I had the help of family, friends, you name it, to get me out of trouble (of which I had a lot due to a long lasting computer addiction). Even my old job was only landed through connections, even if I was eventually good at it. I'd never been financially responsible enough to save up a decent amount of money, on the contrary, a few years ago I found myself in debt from silly and unnecessary purchases. It took some massive life changes, including a transition and an ADHD diagnosis, to realize that if I don't get my shit together I'm going to end up stuck.
At the start of the year I told myself enough is enough, and for once in my life, it worked. Not perfectly, I still made mistakes and overspent, but not nearly as much as I used to. Now, after working much harder than I ever thought myself capable of, I'm almost out of debt and have a net positive in my bank account. I broke out of my horrific online addictions, I arranged work by myself, I arranged the first few months of living by myself, and now nothing really feels as hard. Years of forcing myself out of bed finally paying off.
Every time I peel back another layer of depression off of myself and look back, I struggle to believe that I managed to do it. I'm not sure how many more are left, but it's certainly getting easier to do it. Hopefully by next year, I'll be able to get rid of it for good.
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Comment on Why I am pursuing a life, professionally and personally, of Christian Virtue in ~humanities
Felicity Link ParentI would really, really prefer if we didn't do that. Despite not being remotely religious, I still love reading about religion. Your religion oriented posts in particular are very fun to read,...Do you want to preach to Tildes in a regular thread maybe?
I would really, really prefer if we didn't do that.
Despite not being remotely religious, I still love reading about religion. Your religion oriented posts in particular are very fun to read, specifically because I don't feel like I'm being preached to. It doesn't feel like you're trying to teach me a lesson when you bring up a verse or a story from the bible to make some of your points. You do it elegantly. If that's what you mean by preaching, then sure, I'd love to see more people being open about their beliefs - my only concern is if it gets to the point where people are making posts for the sole reason of "spreading the word" or teaching why something is a sin.
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Comment on I think it's time to give a "news detox" a try in ~talk
Felicity Link ParentI'm aware that Duolingo kinda sucks for actually learning a language, but because of how my brain works I usually don't have the energy to sit down and learn unless I happen to be really...I'm aware that Duolingo kinda sucks for actually learning a language, but because of how my brain works I usually don't have the energy to sit down and learn unless I happen to be really motivated, which causes me to give up pretty easily if I can't somehow keep the goal fresh in my mind. It's low effort, low reward, but at least I'm not doing nothing in between the something and keeping it fresh in my mind.
That being said, I've actually been considering trying to learn through immersion since the more 'traditional' methods of language learning have not gone great for me. I guess I won't really have much of a choice considering I'm moving to a foreign country, but I'd really like to reach that "vague understanding" level before I land there so that I can get started right away.
I'll give Anki a go - I've never tried flash cards before, maybe it'll click. Thanks!
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Comment on I think it's time to give a "news detox" a try in ~talk
Felicity Link ParentYou know, I'd always struggled with reading because I just get distracted by other things - when I was younger I used to write a lot but funnily enough I couldn't get through more than a few...You know, I'd always struggled with reading because I just get distracted by other things - when I was younger I used to write a lot but funnily enough I couldn't get through more than a few chapters no matter how hard I tried. Maybe this is a good time to try and change that. I also fell out of my gaming habit because I felt that I was "wasting time", but honestly, maybe it's a more effective use of it than getting angry or depressed at the world.
Thanks :)
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Comment on I think it's time to give a "news detox" a try in ~talk
Felicity LinkI was going to make a post about this, but I suppose it's relevant enough to the topic in order to ask here. Having completely removed social media from my life when it gradually went to shit a...I was going to make a post about this, but I suppose it's relevant enough to the topic in order to ask here.
Having completely removed social media from my life when it gradually went to shit a few years ago, I found myself drawn to politics and news as my only real source of passing the time when there's not much else to do. Now that I'm starting to block the websites I compulsively visit, I find myself worried that if I don't find something more positive to do I'll eventually go back.
I have ADHD, and many times it's not really possible to do nothing. I have been working on putting my phone down more often regardless of all of this, especially around other people, but inevitably there are times where there's not much to do but make a few hours pass.
So, what can be done on a mobile device that is information dense enough to satiate ADHD without causing stress in the process? I have a few ideas, but I'd be happy to hear any suggestions.
Right now, here's what I got (I do these anyways, just not nearly as much as I did politics):
- Music. I consume a lot of it, but oftentimes do not actively listen to the albums I put on, and just have it as noise in the background. Maybe try and change that.
- Reading random wikipedia articles. Just need to be careful which rabbit holes I fall down...
- Duolingo. I have a language or two I've been procrastinating, anyways, and it's a better start than nothing. Issue is that it requires active feedback, something that I don't always have the energy for.
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Comment on American election mental health thread in ~health.mental
Felicity LinkHonestly, this is kind of a wake up call for me. For the past few years politics was an obsession. I've been compulsively checking the news, refreshing my tabs, just consuming any and all...Honestly, this is kind of a wake up call for me. For the past few years politics was an obsession. I've been compulsively checking the news, refreshing my tabs, just consuming any and all information in order to feel on top of things. Now, for a brief moment, nothing's happening. There's nothing to read, nothing to consume, nothing to say.
And for the first time in months, I feel great. I feel motivated in a way that I can't really put into words, to just make every day count. Make the people I care about happier. Make myself happier. Make memories that don't involve staring at a screen reading all of the awful things happening. Things are always bad somewhere, but I can't affect them as much as I can my immediate vicinity.
The worse things get, the more important and effective the little moments of happiness in life are. My time is better spent trying to find, and maybe, if I can, make those moments happen. Otherwise I can't see how I can keep going. Continuing down the route I was before is going to end in apathy, and every part of my body is screaming at me that I can't let that happen. So I won't.
Hopefully it works.
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Comment on Tildes Minecraft Survival Weekly in ~games
Felicity Link ParentThis past month really hasn't lent itself well to free time between the daily stress and preparing to move countries, so I haven't been able to play as much as I'd hoped. I'll probably hop on...This past month really hasn't lent itself well to free time between the daily stress and preparing to move countries, so I haven't been able to play as much as I'd hoped. I'll probably hop on sometime soon and we can coordinate something, heaven knows I can use a distraction.
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Comment on Retrospective on the introduction of the Vanguard anti-cheat software to League of Legends in ~comp
Felicity (edited )Link ParentI have no idea what you're talking about with regards to dota. I literally never mentioned dota in my original reply. I have never played dota. It is irrelevant to the conversation in my opinion...I have no idea what you're talking about with regards to dota. I literally never mentioned dota in my original reply. I have never played dota. It is irrelevant to the conversation in my opinion and really doesn't change much about what I'm saying. I was addressing the hypocrisy in your statement regarding what you said in the last post, and you're just explaining to me why dota is more toxic than league as if I was arguing otherwise. I have no opinion because I have not played dota.
What makes you special? How do other people climb out of Iron, pure chance? (this in particular would be quite the claim, one that really should have some proof beyond anecdotal experiences). "Inters" like those bad supports should statistically show up in other people's games just as often as yours, meaning that even if it was the case that every game is a coin flip that's still 50/50. That leaves your individual skill as what bends the needle towards a positive or negative winrate. If you can play well enough to win 1% more games, you'll have a positive winrate and eventually climb. This is my point, but you're explaining vision score to me? Can't help but feel it's a tad condescending.
I'm sorry but it doesn't really feel like you're taking anything I say seriously. I didn't engage in order to call you bad or make fun of you, I did it because I was in the exact same situation with video games a few years ago and know exactly how frustrating it is to keep losing no matter what I do. The simple explanation is usually the right one: is the league of legends matchmaking system rigged against you and the balance team should be fired to specifically cater to what you think is correct or fun, or are you just not as good as you think you are?
Be that as it may I don't think you're interested in any advice I have to offer, so I don't really see much point in continuing to talk. Have a good one.
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Comment on Retrospective on the introduction of the Vanguard anti-cheat software to League of Legends in ~comp
Felicity (edited )Link ParentI said nothing about your skill in other games, just league. All of my points still stand. If you reviewed your VODs you'd find out exactly why and how you're stuck where you are, and if you...I said nothing about your skill in other games, just league. All of my points still stand. If you reviewed your VODs you'd find out exactly why and how you're stuck where you are, and if you improved you'd climb. The fact that you intuitively understand other games might make you think that it will or should transfer to league, but that's not how skill works. For most people, being intuitively good on guitar does not make you necessarily good on bass.
Also, this statement is kind of funny...
And I quit DOTA because it's not fun to have people mass report you for "inting" and scream obscenities at you in other languages via VC
...considering you previously said this in the last post:
Wanna get rid of toxicity? Punish the people who int. People who run it down and die every 1.5 minutes, supports who place zero wards, and junglers who can't even be bothered to do full clears, gank or contest objectives shouldn't be tolerated in Ranked games.
In your OP, you are justifying the exact behaviour that you're describing now. The people who are yelling at you think you're a worse player than them so they tell themselves it's okay to harass you. You think the people in your ranked games are worse players than you so you think riot should "punish" them, whatever that means. This is such a double standard that it makes me question if your 7 day chat restriction was really just from saying "gg shit team".
Edit: also, I looked it up because I had no idea, and Archon seems to be... Pretty average? Maybe above average? I don't know if I'd expect to get the same result in league, nor is it good justification for literally anything in your post. Your StarCraft tier is very impressive but it's not even the same genre as league. With this in mind, you addressed literally none of my points and just tried to pull rank in different games as a reply. You can keep bringing up all of these things to blame for getting angry about these games but it only reinforces the thought that you need to step back and assess your relationship with them.
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Comment on Retrospective on the introduction of the Vanguard anti-cheat software to League of Legends in ~comp
Felicity Link ParentThis is a really interesting opinion to me. Considering how low elo you were (and for the record I wasn't great either), do you really feel like you have the game knowledge to make these kinds of...To be honest the state of League right now is dismal (every biweekly patch has been a massive meta shakeup with huge balance changes that break the game), and if they don't do something drastic within the next few months like fire Phreak, fire Phroxzon and hire people who are actually competent at game design and balance, Tencent is gonna be Riot's bank balance...
This is a really interesting opinion to me. Considering how low elo you were (and for the record I wasn't great either), do you really feel like you have the game knowledge to make these kinds of statements? Can you really, confidently say that you understand league of legends to the point where you can assess the impact of a balance change across the entire game?
There's a reason most people aren't high elo and it's not "because of x y z", it's mistakes that they don't even realize they're making.
I promise you, hand on my heart, that if you let someone a few tiers above you review your solo queue games they'll be back with a shopping list of mistakes, and the higher their tier the more mistakes they'll spot. Hell, I bet if you critically reviewed your VODs, you'd notice some of them, too.
I'm not saying that you have to be a perfect player to criticize the game or disagree with a balance change, but... Look. We're bad at the game. If we weren't, we just wouldn't be this low. I can't criticize a high elo chess player's game when I'm sitting on 500 and don't understand why I keep losing, blaming my opponents for using "cheese" that I could easily practice against and get better (yes this was an actual point in my life).
I decided it wasn't worth it when I started reviewing my games and realized just how many times I fuck up per game and how much work I'd have to put in to get better. Ever since then I've rarely played and have little to no desire to play ranked. If you can't or do not want to put in the effort, just accept your rank and move on. Blaming anything else is an easy way to trick yourself into thinking you're already good enough, when you really, statistically, aren't, and to keep playing game after game after game. That's what elo hell really is, a prison of your own design.
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Comment on Weekly Israel-Hamas war megathread - week of September 2 in ~news
Felicity (edited )Link ParentAllegedly, according to the IDF, it was to stop an impending wave of terror attacks from the west bank. We've had a few car bombs come through and a bunch of close calls, and allegedly heads of...Allegedly, according to the IDF, it was to stop an impending wave of terror attacks from the west bank. We've had a few car bombs come through and a bunch of close calls, and allegedly heads of the Palestinian authority are concerned over a Hamas takeover of the territories (not that I think their preferred course of action was the IDF coming in and destroying more than 80% of Jenin's infrastructure...)
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Comment on Kamala Harris's speech killed any hope she would end the Gaza genocide in ~society
Felicity Link ParentHey thanks. I'm always worried when I make posts like this because I don't always feel like my thoughts really transfer all too well. It's nice to see people seem to think I make sense, heheHey thanks. I'm always worried when I make posts like this because I don't always feel like my thoughts really transfer all too well. It's nice to see people seem to think I make sense, hehe
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Comment on Kamala Harris's speech killed any hope she would end the Gaza genocide in ~society
Felicity Link ParentFor the record, my you's are general, not you specifically. Sorry, it's a bad habit of my writing. I don't mean to come off like I'm accusing you of believing in anything I write, it's more of a...For the record, my you's are general, not you specifically. Sorry, it's a bad habit of my writing. I don't mean to come off like I'm accusing you of believing in anything I write, it's more of a "you, the person reading this" kind of thing.
I can find specific articles later, but essentially every single time that a US official hops over it's for de-escalation talks. It's very often reported in media that Biden and Netanyahu's phone calls aren't exactly calm all of the time. The best proof I have to give you is offering you to look at how Israel has conducted itself in warfare in the past and compare it to now. Israel isn't holding back because of the goodwill of its heart, it's trying to do as much as it can get away with but not anger the US too much.
And you're absolutely right, it would help if Israel stopped committing war crimes whilst trying to claim that it isn't commiting war crimes, but... what's new.
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Comment on Kamala Harris's speech killed any hope she would end the Gaza genocide in ~society
Felicity Link ParentIn response to both of your comments I'll ask if you, or anyone else in this thread, is prepared to support another war in the middle east with American boots on the ground. This has NEVER worked...In response to both of your comments I'll ask if you, or anyone else in this thread, is prepared to support another war in the middle east with American boots on the ground. This has NEVER worked for America. Beyond that Israel is a nuclear power that has threatened action before, they're not Afghanistan, the politics are completely different. Active US military intervention is the least likely of an already unlikely situation, and even if Israel "defected" I would be very surprised to see any military force present.
With all due respect America and the west utterly eviscerated the middle east with their "diplomacy" throughout the past few decades. Propping up another player and saying "this time we'll do it right" is kind of out of touch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be saying that if you had the political will America could militarily engage right now? If that's the case, then all I can really say is that I couldn't disagree more. Military intervention against Israel in this conflict by the US is not an option under most circumstances.
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Comment on Kamala Harris's speech killed any hope she would end the Gaza genocide in ~society
Felicity Link ParentTo tell the truth I'm not sure how this relates to my post, but you're right that some Israeli and Jewish media has been very thorough in applying the anti-semitic label to anyone and anything...To tell the truth I'm not sure how this relates to my post, but you're right that some Israeli and Jewish media has been very thorough in applying the anti-semitic label to anyone and anything that criticizes Israel. It's become somewhat of a filter to me. If someone calls someone else anti-semitic when they're just being a rational human being, that tells me the former is probably not someone I should be taking seriously.
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Comment on Kamala Harris's speech killed any hope she would end the Gaza genocide in ~society
Felicity Link ParentI may have come off too hard with the implication that Israel doesn't care about US support. They absolutely do. There is such a deep relationship between the two countries that detachment would...I may have come off too hard with the implication that Israel doesn't care about US support. They absolutely do. There is such a deep relationship between the two countries that detachment would be a disaster.
But at the end of the day, who's going to suffer from that disaster? It sure won't be the upper class Israelis. If we want to go a bit deeper into the hypothetical, what will probably end up happening is left wing citizens with and without dual citizenship leaving in droves as the country backslides harder and harder and has to make some really, really bad decisions in order to stay... Existing. This will be nothing short of horrific for everyone around us.
Of course, I should clarify, I know this is a doomsday scenario and I don't really believe this has a chance of happening. But when you have people who are protesting and advocating for this to happen and potentially allowing the US to become a fascist hellhole if it doesn't, I feel that I have to point out that the future they're imagining will (in my opinion) not be sunshine and rainbows.
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Comment on Kamala Harris's speech killed any hope she would end the Gaza genocide in ~society
Felicity Link ParentIt's okay and not your fault, I'm known for being pretty vague and assuming people just "get" what I mean. Regarding the other half of your comment, there are plenty of people here who would...It's okay and not your fault, I'm known for being pretty vague and assuming people just "get" what I mean. Regarding the other half of your comment, there are plenty of people here who would disagree with you, lol
Israel only seems to be doing what it wants because foreign media only reports what Israel does, not what their operational plans look like. The beginning of the war, with its ruthless and unprecedented bombing campaigns, was a more accurate look at what Israel's military campaigns usually were like: unbound, uncaring, unending firepower.
Now that the west has intervened to some extent there was a shift to more methodical warfare. Truth be told I have little doubt in my mind that in the first few months there were real and tangible preparations for genocide, which are now bleeding out into the battlefield gradually because of how strongly America reacted to the initial attack. This is still really, really bad, but it gives both the US and Israel time to become politically active and change.
Which is where I get to my issue with the article itself. The idea that a two party country can suddenly convince one of the parties to make a radical and sudden change in foreign policy by not voting for the candidate is, to say the least, an idealistic and almost privileged way of looking at this kind of politics in my opinion. We simply cannot always get what we want. The left wing in Israel couldn't agree on anything and squandered the government they were given, which led to this one. We're all seeing how well that's going.
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Comment on Kamala Harris's speech killed any hope she would end the Gaza genocide in ~society
Felicity Link ParentI don't know that this is really supported by Israel's history. We have, at almost every turn, acted in our own best interest whilst disregarding the impact on our allies. I mean, we quite...If the US stopped supporting Israel or made its support conditional, then Israel would have to act in accordance with the regional power structure, which does not leave any room for a genocide or an ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian people.
I don't know that this is really supported by Israel's history. We have, at almost every turn, acted in our own best interest whilst disregarding the impact on our allies. I mean, we quite literally smuggled uranium from the United States and used it to build nuclear weaponry. Could any other country get away with that? Obviously not, and it shows that the states are for one reason or another deathly avoidant of harming relations with Israel.
Unlike dictatorships that the US can sanction with impunity, sanctioning Israel will immediately prompt the country to look for alternatives. This is not a one-sided thing and nothing happens in a vacuum; the moment western support becomes an uncertainty, Israel will begin rethinking their allegiances. Remember, self interest.
If this is propaganda, then we need another explanation. People aren't evil for no reason (referring to US officials seemingly not doing anything) and the opaqueness of geopolitics makes it very difficult to judge a situation. One thing is for sure, the US is actively involved in Israel military planning and intelligence. It's the only reason that the northern front hasn't exploded and led to regional war. There are constant and unending diplomatic conversations behind the scenes trying to reign Israel in.
I understand completely. Based on everything I've read from you, I'm sure you have nothing but good intentions. Like the others said I don't think you need my forgiveness, but you have it nonetheless.