Gourd's recent activity
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Comment on My partner says our relationship has always felt suffocating, but she does not know what she wants. What would you do? in ~life
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Comment on My partner says our relationship has always felt suffocating, but she does not know what she wants. What would you do? in ~life
Gourd Link ParentAnother thing I should have mentioned about couples therapy is that it's not always necessarily about "saving" a relationship. It can just be about figuring out what you both want out of life....Another thing I should have mentioned about couples therapy is that it's not always necessarily about "saving" a relationship. It can just be about figuring out what you both want out of life. That angle might make it feel more approachable if it's something you're considering.
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Comment on What are your personal crackpot conspiracy theories about the world right now? in ~talk
Gourd Link ParentThe way Tr*mp has been saying he doesn't care about affordability, doesn't care about how long it takes to open the strait, doesn't care about the midterms... It makes me wonder what he has...The way Tr*mp has been saying he doesn't care about affordability, doesn't care about how long it takes to open the strait, doesn't care about the midterms... It makes me wonder what he has planned. Because if he really doesn't care, he must be counting on something.
That, or it's complete bullshit, like literally everything that comes out of his mouth.
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Comment on My thoughts after using Clojure for about a month in ~comp
Gourd LinkI had a great time learning clojure last year, but I've struggled to come up with any practical uses for it. Whenever I start a new project, I still try to figure out a way to fit it in somehow.I had a great time learning clojure last year, but I've struggled to come up with any practical uses for it. Whenever I start a new project, I still try to figure out a way to fit it in somehow.
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Comment on My partner says our relationship has always felt suffocating, but she does not know what she wants. What would you do? in ~life
Gourd LinkA common theme seems to be that you have been "hoping things would improve" since essentially the start of the relationship, and it sounds like things have gotten generally worse over time? In my...A common theme seems to be that you have been "hoping things would improve" since essentially the start of the relationship, and it sounds like things have gotten generally worse over time? In my opinion, this sort of uncertainty should be worked out four years into a relationship.
Couples counseling would be my advice. I was actually in a somewhat similar situation several years ago. We saw a great couples therapist, and we were actually able to work through the issues. That relationship did end about a year later, but we were able to end it on a relatively good note, without drama and both understanding our feelings.
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Comment on Mina the Hollower | Out now! in ~games
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Comment on Mina the Hollower | Out now! in ~games
Gourd (edited )Link ParentMy review so far is that it's Fucking Hard. You have to really like old school difficulty and the dark souls formula, but if you do you'll have a great time. The game also has a built in...My review so far is that it's Fucking Hard. You have to really like old school difficulty and the dark souls formula, but if you do you'll have a great time. The game also has a built in "modifiers" menu that basically acts as a built-in gameshark or action replay cheat menu.
Editing to say that really only the first few hours were very hard. After the first dungeon you POWER UP and I haven't had much trouble since then.
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Comment on Lifetime Plex Pass will cost $750 USD after July 1st in ~tv
Gourd Link ParentAny serious friction points? I'm thinking about doing this as well.Any serious friction points? I'm thinking about doing this as well.
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Comment on What’s something that didn’t work for you? in ~talk
Gourd Link ParentI am very sensitive to the hallucinnogenic aspect of THC. For years, I would try it occasionally and have an absolutely insane time. Full-blown bad trip style experiences. Could not figure out how...I am very sensitive to the hallucinnogenic aspect of THC. For years, I would try it occasionally and have an absolutely insane time. Full-blown bad trip style experiences. Could not figure out how everyone else was enjoying it. Some people just don't metabolize it the usual way, and everyone always told me I just had to try it more often and "get used to it".
I've since figured out I can take a very low dose edible (2-5mg THC) with about a 5:1 CBD to THC ratio and I'll feel great. Still can't smoke or vape. Even one hit of a joint will really fuck me up.
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Comment on Tips for "refinishing" a D pad? in ~games
Gourd Link ParentYou have to take off the back plate, analog stick module (which is itself VERY easy to swap out), shoulder buttons, and the logic board that controls the left half of the controls. This also...You have to take off the back plate, analog stick module (which is itself VERY easy to swap out), shoulder buttons, and the logic board that controls the left half of the controls. This also involves dealing with about 5 ribbon cables that wrap around the board and connect to the backside. More like 10-15 screws total, but still not too bad for such a compact device.
I did a full shell swap on mine, and it was honestly a bit more difficult than I had expected.
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Comment on Tips for "refinishing" a D pad? in ~games
Gourd LinkHonestly, I think any repair to the existing piece that would legitimately look and feel anything close to the original texture would probably involve removing the D-Pad anyway to clamp it down,...Honestly, I think any repair to the existing piece that would legitimately look and feel anything close to the original texture would probably involve removing the D-Pad anyway to clamp it down, then using some combination of a filler material and a lot of very precise sanding and buffing. Doing so without taking it apart would be difficult since the D-Pad moves around inside its housing by design.
Taking apart the steam deck is a bit of a pain, but as long as you're not replacing the screen, it's not a total nightmare (ask me how I know).
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Comment on What's your dream job? in ~life
Gourd Link ParentI have a coworker submitting PR requests and requesting review on code that I don't think he understands how to read. Its obnoxious. Like MAJOR security vulnerabilities, blatantly disregarding...I have a coworker submitting PR requests and requesting review on code that I don't think he understands how to read. Its obnoxious. Like MAJOR security vulnerabilities, blatantly disregarding established patterns. AI tools have been great for my own productivity, however.
It goes to show how alarmist some of these "AI is making coding obsolete" people are. Sure, it looks like magic at first when someone with no coding experience sets up a cool-looking web app in 30 minutes. Those people are not replacing me any time soon.
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Comment on Reddit reports 69% jump in revenue, topping analyst estimates in ~tech
Gourd Link ParentI wouldn't worry about it. Might as well have put it all on red at a roulette wheel.I wouldn't worry about it. Might as well have put it all on red at a roulette wheel.
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Comment on What are your go-to meals that you cook? in ~food
Gourd Link ParentI started using it in my thai-inspired cooking and I can't believe I ever went without it. It's a real game changer.I started using it in my thai-inspired cooking and I can't believe I ever went without it. It's a real game changer.
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Comment on What are your go-to meals that you cook? in ~food
Gourd Link ParentI'm gonna try this! If you can get a hold of some tamarind paste, I think it would really take it to another level without much additional effort.I'm gonna try this! If you can get a hold of some tamarind paste, I think it would really take it to another level without much additional effort.
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Comment on Vibe coding is just the return of Excel/Access, with more danger in ~comp
Gourd Link ParentYep, AI has been a force multiplier for my experienced devs, and the exact opposite for the juniors. I'm not sure if it evens out lol. And we're just a small team. I can't imagine managing 15+...Yep, AI has been a force multiplier for my experienced devs, and the exact opposite for the juniors. I'm not sure if it evens out lol. And we're just a small team. I can't imagine managing 15+ junior devs and doing code reviews on all of that AI-written code.
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Comment on No-stack web development in ~tech
Gourd LinkI recently set up a personal website with Hugo. It feels a bit over-engineered at times, but I like that it allows me to basically set and forget the architectural components, and then focus...I recently set up a personal website with Hugo. It feels a bit over-engineered at times, but I like that it allows me to basically set and forget the architectural components, and then focus purely on content creation. The fact that everything can be written in markdown is a big plus.
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Comment on What if AI just makes us work harder? in ~tech
Gourd Link ParentSame here! I've noticed myself feeling burned out much less frequently since we've adopted AI technologies.Same here! I've noticed myself feeling burned out much less frequently since we've adopted AI technologies.
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Comment on So it turns out I was cheated on in ~health.mental
Gourd Link ParentI mentioned a therapist in my reply as well, and I just want to stress that nothing was better in my first few months post-breakup than the feeling I got walking out of my therapist's office each...I mentioned a therapist in my reply as well, and I just want to stress that nothing was better in my first few months post-breakup than the feeling I got walking out of my therapist's office each week. It really changed everything for me.
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Comment on So it turns out I was cheated on in ~health.mental
Gourd LinkThis is awful, and I'm sorry this is happening to you. I'd highly recommend seeing some sort of mental health professional, if it's within your means to do so. It has really helped me in the past....This is awful, and I'm sorry this is happening to you. I'd highly recommend seeing some sort of mental health professional, if it's within your means to do so. It has really helped me in the past. I had a therapist tell me once that our brains process breakups similarly to how they process deaths. The cognitive grieving processes are very similar. It's also not uncommon for either situation to be accompanied by a lot of complex baggage.
Things are likely going to suck for a while. No getting around it. But not forever! I tend to think of it almost like a slow-healing injury, or coming down with a temporary illness. Right now you have to look out for your kids and yourself. Like someone else said here, consider talking to a lawyer as soon as you feel you are able.
Again, it's extremely difficult to give relationship advice, especially to people you don't know over the internet. So what I am saying realistically may not apply to your situation at all. But that being said, to me, my partner being this averse to couples therapy would be a red flag.