Monthly_Vent's recent activity
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Comment on Is it wise to relapse into an episode before you get treatment? in ~health.mental
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Comment on Is it wise to relapse into an episode before you get treatment? in ~health.mental
Monthly_Vent Link ParentThe specifics I don't know, because to be honest I don't know if it's actually a trigger I have currently. I just note the cause in my head (which in this case is the act of cleaning, plus seeing...The specifics I don't know, because to be honest I don't know if it's actually a trigger I have currently. I just note the cause in my head (which in this case is the act of cleaning, plus seeing the bugs in front of me. The idea/knowledge I can cope with now.) because if it happened once it means I'm more susceptible to another relapse (one, two,, three, and four. All studies are different disorders to make sure I'm not putting my symptoms in one disorder before treatment.) and I'd rather not go through that pain again.
I can try to take the advice of someone else doing it for me, though I don't think friends or family really want to help. I forgot to mention I live with my parents who don't like having strangers, both hired and not hired, at their house, so I try not to bring anyone over, but I'll consider a professional cleaner if I feel I have to. Thank you for the advice!
I've also played with the thought of calling a friend to talk to me while I clean so I'm not stuck with my own thoughts, plus as a way to check in on me the following days, but none of my friends are close enough to want to do that for me. (Maybe checking-in, but none of them have the guts to deal with me if I get worse, which is the biggest reason for checking in on me.) Just info on the singular solution I've thought of.
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Is it wise to relapse into an episode before you get treatment?
I've been writing and rewriting this to make it more formal, but I've decided to screw it because the original was raw and can probably describe my needs better than my rewrites could ever. So...
I've been writing and rewriting this to make it more formal, but I've decided to screw it because the original was raw and can probably describe my needs better than my rewrites could ever. So apologies if it doesn't fit the tone of Tildes
As of right now, I am currently not seeing anyone for my mental health. However, I'm in the process of getting help. I already have a consultation form for one and all I have to is figure out if I'm saying too much because one part ended up being like 16 paragraphs long and I don't think mental health professionals like that...
Anyways, I've been having trouble getting myself to clean. There's a gap between my bed and the wall that I put in case I ever got bedbugs (never got bedbugs in my life) and what ended up happening is various items of clothing would fall into that gap without me knowing. Which led to a whole bunch of carpet beetles suddenly flying in my room a month and a half ago.
Here's my concern: I did have a period where I found fleas in my room, and after seeing them a few times I went on a cleaning spree. Eventually my dad had to stop me because I was deep cleaning the house every single day, and when I wasn't doing that I was researching about pest control. When I wasn't able to clean I ended up researching too deeply on pest control, which led me to find out about scabies. Which led me to a delusion that I had scabies, then went straight back to my cleaning frenzy again, this time with this newfound fear that I'm infesting my family with scabies if I don't babywipe or vacuum everything.
Then one day, I started getting psychosomatic hallucinations that matched the symptoms of scabies. At night, I wouldn't be able to sleep because I would feel hundreds of bugs crawling inside my skin every time it got dark, forcing me to sleep with 3 lamps around me to mitigate the sensation. Every time I got out of a hot shower I could feel it too, but not as strongly as at night. And then when I sought out a dermatologist, because there was no way I didn't have scabies if I was going through all these symptoms, it just suddenly... stopped? Which was my biggest indicator that it wasn't scabies, because it would have never stopped if it was scabies.
It was a... bizarre experience for sure, but an impactful one. Especially now that it's been about a year since it all went down, and I've been having trouble sleeping because my room gets so stuffy. I keep my window open at all times, even when I'm too cold to sleep, just because the air is so musky and makes me feel like I'm on the edge of throwing up. I don't feel hunger in my room, and all I can think of is how there's carpet beetles in those gaps and how I will have to clean them when I get better. Because I don't want to repeat what happened last year. I don't want to clean and have these stupid carpet beetles or whatever else I find in that gap briefly take over my life like those fleas and imaginary scabies did. For the past few years I've been swinging between moments of depressive symptoms, grandiosity, and paranoia one after another and a few months ago is the first time in five years since I stopped having these back-to-back moments and I just... can't have another one again. Not until I get help.
But it has come to my attention that help might take a long time. If I need therapy, that might take months, if not years, and there's a good chance if I need medication I won't find the perfect one right away. So either I have to wait until months or years of my room rotting more and more or I clean it now. To clean knowing full well that I might relapse into another stupid paranoid episode because it was a trigger before and can be a trigger now.
I don't know. I don't know what to do. I want to clean but I don't want to trigger what I went through in the past again. I don't want to trigger anything. Any causes to my episodes I keep it in my head and make it a rule to avoid at all cost, but how do I avoid cleaning when it's impacting my physical health not to clean? I know I should get help, get treatment, but I shouldn't do anything funny while I wait for the perfect solution right? When I have the right treatment and coping mechanisms I can tackle my triggers, so best not to clean? If that's a trigger? I hate this. I just want guidance
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Comment on New survey shows that many in the US lack knowledge of basic facts about government in ~society
Monthly_Vent Link ParentAlso via state! The education system varies so much by state that lumping them together feels like ignoring huge factors that could help us narrow down the problemsAlso via state! The education system varies so much by state that lumping them together feels like ignoring huge factors that could help us narrow down the problems
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Comment on New survey shows that many in the US lack knowledge of basic facts about government in ~society
Monthly_Vent (edited )Link ParentGraduated in 2021, so I might have a say? And my say is for my very liberal area in California, yes it's still mandatory. I think it's mandatory to pass the class get into California's public...Graduated in 2021, so I might have a say? And my say is for my very liberal area in California, yes it's still mandatory. I think it's mandatory to pass the class get into California's public universities as well, though I have no clue if community college requires it.
We did also have teachers who would just not care, and as long as they had some evidence of work, you passed the class. In between the teacher strikes and teacher shortages, the pandemic, and how much keeping a kid from graduating complicates school reputation and funding and all, I wouldn't be surprised if there were some American Government (and Economics) teachers that straight up didn't or couldn't teach.
I couldn't find the age range of the demographics or the states they lived at in their survey so I will say, my word could definitely not be the demographics they're surveyed. Especially since I'm assuming someone who graduated in the mid 2000's is going to be taught the material differently than someone like me who graduated in 2021, despite both of us qualifying to partake in the surveys. Also education varies by state too much for me to ignore so I'd keep both factors in mind
(Editing it one last time. I swear it's 5AM, haven't slept at all, and the more I stare at it the more I keep reorganizing it.)
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Comment on New survey shows that many in the US lack knowledge of basic facts about government in ~society
Monthly_Vent Link ParentI do wonder if they did remember the branches, but completely forgot the names of them. I'm going to be honest here, I always forget the names for Legislative and Executive but I remember what...I do wonder if they did remember the branches, but completely forgot the names of them. I'm going to be honest here, I always forget the names for Legislative and Executive but I remember what they do and their part in the government. I usually don't have a problem discussing about them as long as I'm able to quickly google the names again.
Although I will say, I also didn't learn about it in elementary school. We started learning about it in 8th grade (so literally last year of middle school), and we never seriously connected it to what we learned in history until 10th grade when we learned about modern US history. I'm a bit surprised since I came from an elementary school that was pretty open about discussions on kid-friendly politics (so nothing like the death penalty or abortion) and how it might affect our country. Like I remember being handed Scholastic News magazines about if we should have a 51st state or being assigned month long projects on climate change, but never did we learn how the government actually functioned outside of the president. So that could also be a factor
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Comment on We're all living on r/MadeMeSmile's Internet Now in ~tech
Monthly_Vent LinkI just woke up so I'm not going to be as articulate as I want to, but I'm curious as to how the protest affected nicher subreddits. Because while there's a lack of activity on most of these...I just woke up so I'm not going to be as articulate as I want to, but I'm curious as to how the protest affected nicher subreddits. Because while there's a lack of activity on most of these subreddits, quality-wise they either seem to be operating the same or the subreddit oddly got better (slightly though, and usually subreddits catered to a younger audience). To me at least, it's only really the mainstream subreddits where it looks more like brain drain than anything.
Judging from most of the comments, I seem to have a different experience to everyone else. Though to be honest, I was always on niche mental health and LGBT+ subreddits that would blow up during the pandemic and then became a broken record of the same 4 posts and opinions. Maybe it's because the bar was set lower, so any change seems like good change to me? I find a lot of subreddits I had left are now talking about new topics after the protest. Especially subreddits that have never or rarely appeared on google and blew up via redditor migrations. I'm wondering if that sort of change is only seen within my own bubble of subreddits
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Comment on More than 150 car models too big for regular UK parking spaces in ~transport
Monthly_Vent Link ParentFirst off, I'm so sorry for your loss. To do everything right and get killed anyways is one of the scariest ways to go, and I hope he got the respect he deserved from those who loved him. Also,...First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. To do everything right and get killed anyways is one of the scariest ways to go, and I hope he got the respect he deserved from those who loved him. Also, side note, but I wonder if they ever redid the road either to accommodate the large vehicles that can't drive either (or changed the rules to make it a one-way or something)? Y'know, cause the road was clearly the one to blame to them and must face the painful repercussions of changing for the betterment of everyone else. /s
Secondly, I'm not really knowledgeable in cars, so I guess here's to ranting with you.
Although, to be fair, I think most people would be ranting about this. Heck, I'm not even a car person, but I've seen this sort of stuff before and it infuriates me. It's so weird to me that people would buy a larger vehicle and then proceed to never learn how to drive a large vehicle. And having sat in one before, there's literally no way you can sit in one and think "hey this is definitely exactly like driving a small vehicle close to the ground :D", let alone when you're driving one. Then, they turn around and claim ignorance when it should be pride that's to blame.
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Comment on How often do you brush your teeth? in ~life
Monthly_Vent Link ParentThank you! Though I still live with my parents and they still force me to try to eat on time. I tend to use up all my energy on finishing lunch and dinner at a reasonable time so I probably still...Thank you! Though I still live with my parents and they still force me to try to eat on time. I tend to use up all my energy on finishing lunch and dinner at a reasonable time so I probably still need to brush my teeth
But yeah, echoing what u/introspect said, "anything worth doing is worth doing badly". As long as I'm trying at a reasonable pace I should be okay
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Comment on How often do you brush your teeth? in ~life
Monthly_Vent LinkDamn, as someone struggling with some kind of mental health issue(s?) I feel like an odd one out here Twice a day when I can, but I've had my fair share of weeks where I slept through the entire...Damn, as someone struggling with some kind of mental health issue(s?) I feel like an odd one out here
Twice a day when I can, but I've had my fair share of weeks where I slept through the entire day or simply just didn't have the motivation to brush my teeth. Or sometimes I get so invested in something that by the time I brush my teeth it's literally the next day. Or sometimes just straight up getting too randomly paranoid to go to the bathroom, so I just don't. I try to brush at least once on a bad day, when I'm seeing a pattern and know I can't do the bare minimum of twice a day that I used to do when I was younger.
I also am trying to remind myself flossing is better than brushing, and if I can't go to the bathroom for whatever reason, I can stay in my room and floss and ignore brushing completely. Not the most hygienic, but it's better than doing nothing at all.
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Any finance tips and tricks for those who are financially illiterate?
So I'm 20, in the US (California to be exact), and I'm planning to (secretly) move out of my parents' house sooner or later. I have a plan and all that, but I'm a bit anxious since I know nothing...
So I'm 20, in the US (California to be exact), and I'm planning to (secretly) move out of my parents' house sooner or later. I have a plan and all that, but I'm a bit anxious since I know nothing about finance. I was never taught about it at school beyond some surface-level vocabulary words (no personal finance. Only like how econ is related to governments and all) and I grew up with a dad who thought he was being selfless by making sure I never had to think about money ever. Mix that in with some good ol' learning problems and I'm clueless about money
Here are some things I learned to give an example of what I mean when I imply I'm absolutely clueless:
- Apparently taxes will sometimes differ from each store I buy from. I have not learned how or why each store has a different percentage (I thought it was by state), just that it sometimes does
- Also, groceries don't have taxes, but they tend to cost more than the pre-packaged stuff
- Speaking of taxes, apparently if you make enough for them you can completely ruin your parents' taxes if you forget to communicate with them. Luckily, I didn't have to learn this the hard way, but I suddenly realized why people who were keeping their jobs a secret from their parents were concerned about making too much
- Credit cards are like a loan that you are forced to pay monthly. I legitimately thought the money was directly transferred from your bank account to the card, but no, it's from this storage in the bank that they have where they take your and everyone else's money and lend it to others
- This was also why I was so confused as to why the banks collapsed right before the Great Depression
- A lot of things only take credit cards. For example, paying a house via cash is literally impossible, which is why you need to rely on a bank (to my disappointment). In fact, living bankless will only cause more problems than it does save money
- I figured out what a lease was. No one taught me that and I never sought to learn it until I was asking for apartment rooms
I'm lucky in that I'm not paying any sort of bills or insurance, and that I'm still reliant on my parents for that. However, I really want to get away from them, even though I would be tied to my parents' insurance plans and all. (I don't think they will ever kick me out of them, no matter what I do.) I don't want to be thrust into something that's difficult to reverse, so for those of you who are older and know what you're doing, is there any finance advice you recommend? What should I expect money-wise when I move out? What has been a regretful decision you've made and what has worked for you?
Resources are also nice, though I'm wary of books that are only found online and thus, I need to pay to see what's inside.
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Comment on Anyone having trouble using their invites? People just don't seem interested in ~tildes
Monthly_Vent Link ParentYeah sure! It's the Beehaw instance. I joined when it had like 600 users, and then the next day I woke up and they had almost 1k. Now they're reaching 2k, so when you apply it might take a while...Yeah sure! It's the Beehaw instance. I joined when it had like 600 users, and then the next day I woke up and they had almost 1k. Now they're reaching 2k, so when you apply it might take a while before you could actually join (you do have to explain why you want to join, though they're pretty lenient to who can and can't join. I wouldn't be worried about getting accepted in)
Though I kind of am glad I joined. The moderators take their jobs very seriously, making sure their users are kept in check and it's a lot more of a serious atmosphere compared to other instances I've browsed for 5 seconds (not the best judge on that, so take my word with a grain of salt). A lot more politics than what you see on tildes, and a lot less STEM-focused too. You can browse the instance anonymously to get a feel for it if you like :)
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Comment on Anyone having trouble using their invites? People just don't seem interested in ~tildes
Monthly_Vent Link ParentI'm on lemmy and I would say, yeah, it really depends on the type of server. The one I'm in is actually a lot more thought-provoking than tildes (think the discussions you see with leftist video...I'm on lemmy and I would say, yeah, it really depends on the type of server. The one I'm in is actually a lot more thought-provoking than tildes (think the discussions you see with leftist video essayists) to the point I find it hard to be casual. It's weird, I don't see tildes being a casual site, but in comparison to the lemmy instance I'm in it feels a lot more chilled-out than my instance. But at the same time, it feels like reddit in that it's still encourages post interaction rather than comment interaction if that makes any sense. So most of my time on lemmy is seen scrolling one or two comments down and not going further, because I know that once I go further I'll hit comments I've already read but said better above.
And yeah, it also skews younger. I feel like a lot of them have trouble with differing opinions and that gets frustrated sometimes, especially when it isn't warranted (like in a vent post.)
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Comment on Anyone having trouble using their invites? People just don't seem interested in ~tildes
Monthly_Vent Link ParentI want to also add the fact that it's very... tech around here. I'm also in lemmy's beehaw instance and I came across a few ex-tildes around who talked about how they left tildes because it was...I want to also add the fact that it's very... tech around here. I'm also in lemmy's beehaw instance and I came across a few ex-tildes around who talked about how they left tildes because it was too STEM-heavy and would like there to be more non-STEM discussions. Although I will say they joined way before the current reddit migration we're seeing, so hopefully we'll open up with more non-STEM discussions for the long term. (I'm not even a week old on tildes.net so I can't say for certain, but I do think a lot of the promise for variety comes with if people will post things other than tech and politics months after this, not the discussions we're seeing in the short-term.)
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Comment on Introductions | June 2023, part 1 in ~talk
Monthly_Vent Link ParentHello!! Sorry for the late reply, I'm finding that some days I don't have the energy to interact with people, and especially with Tildes it's encouraging me to make this a background in my life....Hello!! Sorry for the late reply, I'm finding that some days I don't have the energy to interact with people, and especially with Tildes it's encouraging me to make this a background in my life. It's actually kind of nice? Social media always demands I constantly be replying and reading and scrolling and... yeah. But here it's fine just talking or responding later when you feel better, so hopefully you're fine with a 3 day late reply ^ ^"""
I too have often struggled with the push pull of the comfort of anonymity vs the fear of lettings others close.
Hah, yeah, it's what drew me to reddit because I literally freak out at the idea of followers. Got a tumblr - which is considered pretty anonymous as well - and then just left the moment I got a legitimate non-bot follower. I guess I don't like the rules and expectations when someone does get to know me. I feel like I have to be an idea of what others think "being Monthly_Vent" means instead of letting me be Monthly_Vent, so it's this extremely weird thing of pretending to be myself, causing me to not be myself.
I've recently been listening to Alan Watts, dipping toes back into Nietzsche and what have you.
Oooohhh I haven't exactly followed individual philosophers themselves, though back then I remember really liking debates against philosophers and how two people with different ideas and mindsets of the world will interact with each other. I really liked the ideas themselves - mainly how they challenged my own realities. Though then again, when I was younger, my knowledge consisted of Ted-Ed videos and trying to find alternatives in the way people told little me to think (like how "be yourself" is contradictory to "be nice". Tame kid stuff like that). Might be interesting to start moving past that and into the more heavy stuff.
For the last paragraph, finding someone who can relate has been a breath of fresh air. It really is confusing when the thing that has been so you it's been part of your identity suddenly escapes you without transferring that same feeling onto something else. It feels... awfully empty. I don't know, I often feel like a shell of myself when it happens, especially since it was really the only thing I was good at (had learning problems growing up) and there was a sort of pride I had with them because of that. And then I feel it fading or going away and I'm left with nothing to be proud of anymore.
I still come back to the things that very clearly I need a break in, because I don't know, I'm tired and learning new things through the learning problems and brain fog is tiring. It kind of feels like either I stick with what I know and hope today is a better day and I can enjoy it, I expand and delve into something that I'll probably just associate with tiredness and fatigue, or I do nothing and then feel nothing. I think it would be nice to stop reading or discussing and start experiencing, though whenever I do I also feel tired so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I think the best I can do is just be patient with myself and take care of myself the best I can. Hopefully my sense of enjoyment will come back and I wouldn't even notice it.
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Comment on Self harm, short sleeves, and trigger warnings. What is fair? in ~talk
Monthly_Vent Link ParentNot just progressive communities. Talks like this have been going on for a very long time. I use to browse mental health forums and sometimes I'd come across a post talking about conversations...Not just progressive communities. Talks like this have been going on for a very long time. I use to browse mental health forums and sometimes I'd come across a post talking about conversations similar to this one as far back as early 2000's. The talk about others taking responsibility for triggers is newer, since the idea that something can be a trigger only hit mainstream consciousness pretty recently.
That being said, yeah it's conflicting needs for me. Cause I can also understand how sh scars are triggering to see, but at the same time policing someone's body is usually shorthand for shaming a part of the body, and that's not a road I want anyone to cross. I feel like the only answer is better resources for those who do see scars as a trigger, but that goes into the politics of healthcare and how our healthcare system treats people who sh, so it depends on you if that's off-topic or not
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Comment on Self harm, short sleeves, and trigger warnings. What is fair? in ~talk
Monthly_Vent LinkOkay, I'm a little of a different opinion in that I can see where the commenters are coming from. First of all, when I use the word "trigger", I'm using the psychological term - meaning something...Okay, I'm a little of a different opinion in that I can see where the commenters are coming from. First of all, when I use the word "trigger", I'm using the psychological term - meaning something that will cause someone to fall back on extreme or distressing habits/coping mechanisms. I'm not referring to the pop-usage of it: the one that means to illicit an (usually negative) emotion. It's the difference between me avoiding horror because it will "trigger" a feeling of uncomfortability when walking in the bathroom and me avoiding horror because it will trigger an entire month of extreme insomnia.
I'm aware that not every person who sh will have this experience, and me personally I don't sh in that way so a lot of what I'm saying will be based off of what I know from others' stories. But most of the time, sh - especially for those who aren't seeking any help or treatment for their sh - will feel more like a temptation rather than an active choice, so for some, seeing someone with scars is a reminder and thus, a trigger, for temptation. I remember meeting a few people who never recovered from sh, and I feel like those are the most susceptible to notice triggers that most people wouldn't see at first glance.
Of course, not everyone who has sh will identify that as a trigger, and I've met a lot of people who have experienced sh who are way more okay with sh scars than the average person. I'm trying to say, I've met my fair share of people who are the complete opposite as well, and I feel like there's a few comments here that aren't acknowledging that their experiences aren't the universal ones. Cause, no, I don't think some of the comments were trying to attribute shame onto a body, but rather it was easier for them to notice, easier for them to trigger past temptations, and not knowing how else to handle that kind of situation and noticing that OP has a degree of control that they don't (being able to spoiler or TW the post), told them that they should have used their control-of-the-situation to prevent something they don't have control over. (Not sure if I made any sense so if so, just let me know and I can clear it up)
Is it wrong? To me it is. Is it justifiable? To me it is. Honestly I feel like my stance on it is in this "I can't forgive your actions, but I can forgive you as a person" kind of situation. Cause, yes just like most other people who deal with triggers, you can't avoid them all, especially when it comes to someone else's body, just like @pathie states. I'm with everyone else on this in that there shouldn't be any shame around someone's body, no matter what is being shown or not shown, and by saying to put a spoiler or TW on a body it means that said body is shameful to look at. It's different than having a trigger be an action, where said action can be avoided or negotiated, but you can't avoid or negotiate someone's body.
But at the same time, I do get where people are coming from, and I do recognize that most of society kind of just tells people with triggers "just deal with it" instead of understanding there's this abundant lack of resources (thanks US healthcare) and that sometimes healthy coping mechanisms don't actually work. There's this message in society that if the recovery methods don't work then we're too far gone to really deal with. And for that, I don't know the answer. I don't sh that way. All I can do is sympathize and hope time adjusts them to a way that works.
And lastly, I also acknowledge that, a good handful of them - probably more than a good handful honestly - just saw it was hurting a few people and jumped to speak for them. r/ lgbt always felt very young, very new to activism, and more into doing the right thing rather than listening for the right thing. So I won't be surprised if most of the criticism were coming from these unwarranted commenters who weren't even affected in the first place. For those, yeah no please kindly fuck off and pretend you never saw them in the first place (which is the respectable thing to do when you see scars irl.)
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Comment on Introductions | June 2023, part 1 in ~talk
Monthly_Vent LinkTo be honest yesterday I felt a little anxious about posting on here, mainly because one, I have mental health and family issues that have killed a lot of what I use to love, so I’m in the process...To be honest yesterday I felt a little anxious about posting on here, mainly because one, I have mental health and family issues that have killed a lot of what I use to love, so I’m in the process of still trying to figure out if I still enjoy what I use to enjoy or if I should just move on.
The second reason would be that I like to keep myself a little closed off. It’s about social anxiety, yes, though ironically I’m not anxious around strangers but rather people I know well. I’m not anxious about the idea of sharing myself to the world or to people here because I don’t know any of you, but rather I’m anxious about the idea that, by sharing things that mean something to me rather than expand on what something means for someone else, you guys will get to know me and people who know me I will now feel anxious around.
But fuck it, whatever, I’ll give it a go. Impulsive, thoughtless decisions are in our DNA for a reason
Hey, I’m not really a 11-12+ year old reddit user, like to the point I have no memory of digg really existing. Though I was hugely into vbullitin boards and chat rooms even after most of them died off - until all of mine had died off that is - and came to reddit around 2017 or 2018 (hard to tell when I spent a lot of time lurking without an account in the beginning) when reddit started appearing on everyone’s googled questions instead of… err, Yahoo Answers.
Um, I currently I find myself gravitating back into philosophy and psychology and whatnot. I’m dipping my toes back into mindfulness - something I once had an obsession with - and just genuinely figuring out my thoughts, emotions, and beliefs in general, as numbed out as they are now. I use to be really into disability rights as well, so every now and again you’ll see me advocating for them. Also enjoy sociology, though I’m starting to feel really burnt out in it (can’t really stand the cracks and flaws of it now), but I’m willing to indulge in it if you ask me to. I guess, anything humanities is something I’m fine with talking about no matter what time it is or where I am in my mental health journey. Trying to get into social work for that very reason.
I’m also really into more exotic animals, so anything outside of your usual dogs, cats, fish, etc., though I find I have some trouble following the fun facts people throw at me. So most of the time when I’m learning about this or anything sciencey really, I tend to just go full interview and ask questions instead of expand the topic. I use to also be into climate change but that died when my mental health did soooo
I’m not really a tech person, nor do I watch anime/read manga, though I use to. I do like reading webcomics, so you can kind of see why I’m confused with myself on why I haven’t touched a manga in years. Maybe I’ll ask for recommendations. I enjoy shows made in the late 80’s to early 2000’s, and though I haven’t watched a lot of them, I still enjoy seeking them out way more than shows nowadays. (Not to say new shows are bad, just I enjoy the consistently simple camera work and room to breathe in older shows.) I also love reading but hate the idea of reading, due to my experience with a suspected reading disorder and a school that sort of placed too much value on reading the right kids of books and reading them the “correct” way. Might have to ask for recommendations for those too, since I always feel awkward picking up a book that isn’t tied to my grade.
I’m really enjoying my one day and several hours of Tildes so far. I never knew I missed non-spammy and not-thoughtless responses up until now (and I appreciate the informal ones as well. As long as it doesn’t feel spammy or thoughtless I enjoy seeing them). I always felt like outside of smaller subreddits, most of the time reddit didn’t take its long-form text abilities seriously, and while I like a good mindless toilet scroll here and there, I can’t stand it being almost everywhere I go as of late. A lot of smaller subreddits I joined aren’t small anymore, or just repeat the same discussion every 3 days, or I came at the wrong time and realized I am part of the mass subscribing of a subreddit a little too late, and it feels weird to feel a bit repulsed by subreddits I usually love. This is a nice change of pace, so thank you to Deimos and this community for that :)
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Comment on Introductions | June 2023, part 1 in ~talk
Monthly_Vent Link ParentI'd also like to add in that plants usually don't tell you that they're in distress until you've already harmed them. With pets, they will at least back away, try to defend themselves, or scream...I'd also like to add in that plants usually don't tell you that they're in distress until you've already harmed them. With pets, they will at least back away, try to defend themselves, or scream when you overwater them, but houseplants tend to only respond the day after you've overwatered them (sometimes more, but idk that much about plants so I can't tell you which plant). Especially with neurodivergency, which makes it a lot harder to notice the quiet signs of death, I find it so much easier to kill a plant because I have no clue it was dying before it's too late.
That being said though, I find succulents tend to be more gentle for me on my bad days. I heard someone say succulents thrive off of neglect and, judging from the one I haven't watered in a little less than a year, I'd say it's true. (Been leaving it outside ever since we got an ant infestation. It's been getting the occasional california rain pour and deadly heat waves and I'm still not sure how the flip that thing isn't dead yet.)
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~tildes
Monthly_Vent Link ParentThis. I'm a new reddit migrator but I remember when I first discovered reddit, one of the best things about it was the sheer amount of inside jokes each subreddit would have, or sometimes reddit...This. I'm a new reddit migrator but I remember when I first discovered reddit, one of the best things about it was the sheer amount of inside jokes each subreddit would have, or sometimes reddit as a whole (like how r/anime_tiddies). It was so bizarre and different from the stuff I saw on other social media platforms I saw that I kind of miss having an inside joke being made in a subreddit without seeing it 50+ times in my feed all of the sudden. I guess I want the lighthearted goofiness reddit use to have without the desensitization we have now
Thank you! I really want to do psychotherapy, or just any non-mainstream type of therapy, because I've been dealing with things that I feel like no one else around me is dealing with. Depression feels different from my friends and family, and none of them go through these periods of grandiosity or turn stupid things like fleas into bouts of paranoia, which is weird because they're all pretty severely mentally ill, and yet I'm still a black sheep somehow. College counselors just get sort of stuck during our appointments because I've just worked out all the things that are commonly dealt with in mental health and am just left with things that have no discernible causes or trauma attached to them, which they can't help with apparently. Best help I get is from my local NAMI group, but I know they're just as limited as my college counselors are. I feel like I need more.
Also I appreciate the psychiatrist advice. They're generally way more expensive, especially since I'm 20 years old, dependent on my parents' health insurance, and am avoiding the EOB by paying out-of-pocket for all this (Also, please don't tell me to tell my parents. If you want I can explain it but it's an entire story on its own.), so I'll probably have a much easier time finding a therapist instead. Though I did find a nurse practitioner that's half of my paycheck in case I do need medication for whatever reason. I did tell my PCP about my less concerning symptoms since I was new and was just testing the waters, but I'll make sure to tell him at my next annual wellness checkup (also refused any referrals despite his consideration because I am scared of that EOB)