SleepymountNdwellr89's recent activity
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Comment on How algorithms, alpha males and tradwives are winning the war for kids’ minds in ~life
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Comment on How algorithms, alpha males and tradwives are winning the war for kids’ minds in ~life
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkThere are many flaws that we can quickly name for these trends. My biggest concern for these kids looking at the glamour of it all is the disregard for having a backup plan with this lifestyle....There are many flaws that we can quickly name for these trends. My biggest concern for these kids looking at the glamour of it all is the disregard for having a backup plan with this lifestyle. Life for this as the child looks pretty awesome and I can see why it would be so appealing to them. Mom gets to be home with them all day looking pretty, baking yummy fresh treats, cooking healthy hearty meals and dad comes home being.....a tough provider? I guess 😅. Neverthess, he's in the picture. We reach adulthood wanting to give our kids something we felt was missing from our childhood.
For me it was a backup plan.
My mom was a stay at home mom. She gardened, baked bread, cooked everyday, homeschooled us, and she was pretty. She checked all the boxes of a tradwife's requirements apart from our not so dedicated role to church.Until my dad got sick. He was depressed and an alcoholic but because therapy really wasn't encouraged enough, it got worse and worse until life happened and mom needed to send him away. It completely upended our lives. She only had a high school degree and could just get a job waiting tables so she got three of them. I walked from that with the goal to at least go out and learn a skill, go to college or gain experience in something that keeps bread on the table.
I say this with a bit of irony because I am also a sahp but we were extremely lucky. His parents paid off his student loans and I managed to go to college with minimal debt after and paid it off when working. I got my masters paid completely by my dad's life insurance (he passed when I graduated high school). I have a teaching certificate and my spouse bought a house before we met. Things fell in place where it became possible and we put a lot of work into making sure that we and our kids have everything they need. But it isn't perfect. My spouse is wonderful but the scariest time of day for me is when he drives to and from work. At least I have a career to go back to should tragedy hit us. The pay may not be great but it is consistent. I would still need to put my 4 year old into preschool but tuition would take chunk of take home pay (headstart closed by us).
The gross misogynistic nature of these trends is like fuel to this firestorm and I don't see any stability in it. And it's only getting harder as our social safety nets keep seeing more cuts, there is also not so great healthcare, student loan debt, etc.
This all looks like a unsustainable recipe for disaster.
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Comment on The Food Lab's chocolate chip cookies in ~food
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkI already brown the butter and cool it. I will have to try the ice cube trick but I do think I like getting a touch of texture from undissolved sugarI already brown the butter and cool it. I will have to try the ice cube trick but I do think I like getting a touch of texture from undissolved sugar
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Comment on Does anyone care to share a pesto recipe that they like? in ~food
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkI don't use a recipe as I like to taste as I go. I do like to use a mortar and pestle when I feel like treating myself to something very special. Crushing the ingredients really helps bring the...I don't use a recipe as I like to taste as I go.
I do like to use a mortar and pestle when I feel like treating myself to something very special. Crushing the ingredients really helps bring the juices out and it becomes more paste like. It's more work, but again it's a treat
Add the sauce with some reserved pasta water.
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Comment on Reusing plastic water bottles, to-go containers? Scientists say that’s a bad idea. in ~health
SleepymountNdwellr89 Link ParentEven though it's pretty heat tolerant I wouldn't recommend silicone for cooking. I noticed it retained smells from other dishes I had made and it was a nightmare getting them clean. One also...Even though it's pretty heat tolerant I wouldn't recommend silicone for cooking. I noticed it retained smells from other dishes I had made and it was a nightmare getting them clean. One also chipped from regular use. I began looking for wood and steel when these problems came up.
I have found some amazing stainless steel utensils at secondhand shops for very little.
Sometimes Aldi's carries some decent utensils for very little.On another note, it's been very frustrating trying to find oven mitts that don't have silicone or polyester lined in them.
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Comment on American election mental health thread in ~health.mental
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkOur family is the typical poster child of white nuclear families. I hate that this may be a survival strategy and I shudder to think of all the unnecessary pain others will experience because they...Our family is the typical poster child of white nuclear families. I hate that this may be a survival strategy and I shudder to think of all the unnecessary pain others will experience because they were born in even slightly different circumstances.
I have 2 children and this wake-up call has me wanting to spend as much time with them as possible. I'm so scared of what their future looks like despite living in a solid blue state. If all that was feared comes to fruition, nowhere is safe. This morning in a haze, I was dancing with my 3 year old to distract myself but the motions made me break down and I did what I could to hide it even though my babies may need to grow up sooner than they should.
How can I keep them safe? My only plan going forward is to turn onward and build a community of trusted friends and family. I commiserated with another parent who is agonizing about the future. It helped a little connecting with her but I am terrified.
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Comment on What creative projects have you been working on? in ~creative
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkI have this old dollhouse by KidKraft that I have been meaning to repaint. I finally got around to it this week and plan on gifting it to my niece for her second birthday in November.I have this old dollhouse by KidKraft that I have been meaning to repaint. I finally got around to it this week and plan on gifting it to my niece for her second birthday in November.
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Comment on What are your traditional Christmas dinners, and do you do anything that's unusual in your country? in ~food
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkRoasted duck. Oranges are in season and they go very well with it. I will need to defrost it soon thoughRoasted duck. Oranges are in season and they go very well with it. I will need to defrost it soon though
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~books
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkEvery library I frequent is fine free. I still like to return them by the due date because I consider it a courtesy. Just so everyone is aware, this only seems to be for books. Movies, video...Every library I frequent is fine free. I still like to return them by the due date because I consider it a courtesy.
Just so everyone is aware, this only seems to be for books. Movies, video games, museum passes returned late may result in a fee
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Comment on How do you feel when people sign off an email with a single letter? in ~life
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkThis makes me think of all the teachers who asked us to call them 'Mr. S.' instead of 'Mr. Smithers.' (Always male teachers iirc). I never really thought about it tbh. Most people don't really end...This makes me think of all the teachers who asked us to call them 'Mr. S.' instead of 'Mr. Smithers.' (Always male teachers iirc).
I never really thought about it tbh. Most people don't really end their emails with a signature unless it's something a bit more official but I have never seen that kind end with a single letter.
I guess the ones I have seen end their email like that may have an awkward name, maybe with weird spelling?
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Comment on How often do you brush your teeth? in ~life
SleepymountNdwellr89 Link ParentI do the same. I just brush at night with an electric toothbrush. It's my understanding that night time brushing is more important because you are cleaning your teeth of whatever leftover food is...I do the same. I just brush at night with an electric toothbrush. It's my understanding that night time brushing is more important because you are cleaning your teeth of whatever leftover food is stuck in there. Letting it sit in there while you sleep is more likely to lead to cavities. I make sure to floss and finish with mouth wash. Sometimes I use a water pik.
My breath in the morning is fine. My dentist also says good things.
ETA: if I brush in the morning, it's after breakfast
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Comment on The summer of busts in ~movies
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkThere are two reasons I have a hard time getting myself to the movies. One is personal. Going to see a movie is so hard now. We really don't go often because we have two small children and no...There are two reasons I have a hard time getting myself to the movies. One is personal. Going to see a movie is so hard now. We really don't go often because we have two small children and no reliable childcare ATM. If we do, it will be movies like Elemental because it's aimed at kids. We saw it and loved it.
The second reason we don't go to the movies is exacerbated by the first. I'm not going to set aside my time for another sequel, prequel, sidestory, remake, etc. But that's what most big summer 'blockbusters' are.
However, Barbie and Oppenheimer seem really unique and fresh and I am definitely interested in making an attempt to see at least one of the two.
I really do hope movie studios will pause and take note of what is succeeding and failing
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Comment on Do you wash your carpets? in ~life.home_improvement
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkI don't wash my carpets, but I would if I had a carpet cleaner and I have no intention of renting one. I do have a steam cleaner and it really freshens them up . You can can a decent enough steam...I don't wash my carpets, but I would if I had a carpet cleaner and I have no intention of renting one. I do have a steam cleaner and it really freshens them up . You can can a decent enough steam cleaners for a reasonable price
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Comment on What is your favorite live album? in ~music
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkI love Jeff Buckley's Live at Sin-e. Quite a few of the songs are covers but he does them so well. It's a beautiful album that really showcases his voice. It's silly, but I love hearing him banter...I love Jeff Buckley's Live at Sin-e. Quite a few of the songs are covers but he does them so well.
It's a beautiful album that really showcases his voice. It's silly, but I love hearing him banter and goof off when he interacts with the audience in between each song. Probably because it makes the album feel more immersive and it helps that he is so likeable! His renditions of "I Shall Be Released" and "Lover, You Should Have Come Over" are lovely. I really like "Je n'en Connais pas la Fin" because it's melody reminds me of a dream-like carousel ride. But the crowned jewel is his cover of "Hallelujah". It's breathtaking and it is honestly better than his studio recording.
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Comment on How are y'all dealing with inflation? in ~finance
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkIt's tedious but downloading apps to stores you frequent can help save money. For example, Target often offers a $20-$25 gift card if you purchase $100 worth of diapers or wipes. I also have an...It's tedious but downloading apps to stores you frequent can help save money.
For example, Target often offers a $20-$25 gift card if you purchase $100 worth of diapers or wipes.
I also have an app to a local grocery store I frequent because it offers points everytime you purchase their own brands. Those points can be used as credit. I also get coupons through them and they can sometimes be very good. One coupon saves $17 off a basket of $80. Every little bit helps.
When I don't have special deals, I shop at Aldi's.
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Comment on What is a typical daily or special occasion breakfast for you? in ~food
SleepymountNdwellr89 LinkIf I make myself something, my 'daily' choice is an egg sandwich but that's not too frequent. My special breakfast is whole wheat banana pancakes when I have an over ripe bunch on the counter. I...If I make myself something, my 'daily' choice is an egg sandwich but that's not too frequent. My special breakfast is whole wheat banana pancakes when I have an over ripe bunch on the counter. I make them for the kids. The rest is frozen for future meals.
Your question makes me consider how tradwives really in some way remind me of wives of plantation owners (seeing as only the most wealthy seem to be achieving this aesthetically pleasing lifestyle anyway). The way they needed to tend to their household, not so much for cleaning or maintenance, but really in a social regard.
For example, it was considered improper for a Southern Belle to nurse their children so they put the task up to slaves who recently bore children. I learned this thinking what were these women honestly doing with themselves if they weren't even feeding their own children and not working. Then I realized, they MUST keep up appearances for the next social gathering.