Tanukey's recent activity

  1. What's something new you started doing this year?

    ~talk Ask (survey)
    Could be a hobby, could be a new habit. This year I started using a water flosser! My dental hygiene isn't the greatest and I could count on one hand how many times I flossed in a year, but I read...

    Could be a hobby, could be a new habit.

    This year I started using a water flosser! My dental hygiene isn't the greatest and I could count on one hand how many times I flossed in a year, but I read a post saying how someone uses their handheld one in the shower and, yeah, that absolutely clicked for me!

    I feel like I have weird sensory issues with using it over the bathroom sink. But in the shower, everything is already wet anyways. I can't believe it's a habit I've been able to keep up for more than half a year now with ease. It's something that I look forward to doing every time I shower. I've even started flossing with regular floss more now because I no longer bleed or feel gross. (I prefloss with the water one first.) Really happy.

    I wish I could maintain more habits like that.

    I also bought a standing desk and I really love standing and working now, too.

    17 votes

  2. Comment on The Mamas & the Papas sing "California Dream" on the Ed Sullivan Show. Michelle Philips clearly hates lip syncing. in ~music

    Tanukey
    Link
    Holding the banana the entire time is wild! I don't know much about this group but I do love this song a lot. Did they have any inter-band drama like Fleetwood Mac?

    Holding the banana the entire time is wild! I don't know much about this group but I do love this song a lot. Did they have any inter-band drama like Fleetwood Mac?

    4 votes

  3. Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health

    Tanukey
    Link
    I've taken up running again. I've done it on and off since high school. I started again in September as a way to burn off grief and keep my mind focused and it really helped, before that it had...

    I've taken up running again. I've done it on and off since high school. I started again in September as a way to burn off grief and keep my mind focused and it really helped, before that it had been a couple years.

    I was pleasantly surprised I could do 30 minutes straight without needing weeks to build up to it. Definitely takes some effort and I'm slow as molasses, but I guess muscle memory is no joke.

    2 votes

  4. Comment on Routine dental X-rays are not backed by evidence—experts want it to stop in ~health

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Unfortunately I have a family history of poor dental health and I'm also prone to cavities so they recommended I come every 3 months. However, out of all the dentists I've gone to, none of them...

    Unfortunately I have a family history of poor dental health and I'm also prone to cavities so they recommended I come every 3 months. However, out of all the dentists I've gone to, none of them have done X rays after the initial consultation.

    1 vote

  5. Comment on Routine dental X-rays are not backed by evidence—experts want it to stop in ~health

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    I should say, what I pay is 20 bucks, and the national health insurance pays the other 2/3rds so the dentist is billing about 60ish, 75 if I count the fluoride addition I always get.

    I should say, what I pay is 20 bucks, and the national health insurance pays the other 2/3rds so the dentist is billing about 60ish, 75 if I count the fluoride addition I always get.

  6. Comment on Routine dental X-rays are not backed by evidence—experts want it to stop in ~health

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    And here my cleanings are every 3 months... They're also the equivalent of like 20 bucks so i don't really mind though.

    And here my cleanings are every 3 months...

    They're also the equivalent of like 20 bucks so i don't really mind though.

    2 votes

  7. Comment on Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident in ~life

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Aww, thank you so much. I'm really happy you checked in! I'm back in my home country and it's been extremely busy. There's so much to do. Thankfully my godmother has been helping me out a lot....

    Aww, thank you so much. I'm really happy you checked in!

    I'm back in my home country and it's been extremely busy. There's so much to do. Thankfully my godmother has been helping me out a lot.

    We're picking up the ashes today in fact and we've secured a date for the funeral. I didn't realize how long these processes take. I'm so lucky I can work remotely because I'll definitely have to be here for a few more weeks.

    I haven't had too much time to myself to cry. I don't like doing it in front of people and my mom's friends / my friends have been over to help clean / organize / go through her things pretty much every day since I flew in. Which is good, but I'm sure I need to be letting out my emotions more. Recently I've felt myself be more annoyed/snappy but I'm trying to keep calm but also not blame myself for being a little ill tempered. I really just want to clear everything up so I can head back as soon as possible. But these things take so long, and I know my friends are trying to cheer me up but sometimes I just want to focus on getting a task done. Cleaning done. Things organized. Work, work, work. I hate that I live so far away, but my life isn't here anymore.

    Appetite is really down, which figures, but I'm exercising every day which is helping build it back up. Sleep is still rocky.

    My partner has been amazing! Especially the first couple nights I had to call him because I just couldn't sleep. No complaints on that front except I miss him and I wish I could be back home already.

    I really appreciate the check up. The one silver lining is how many people have come out of the woodwork to support me and my family. Friends, family, acquaintances, old coworkers, even strangers. I can't imagine the people who have to do this alone. I feel like I have all the support in the world but it's still so hard and so overwhelming.
    Thanks again.

    2 votes

  8. Comment on Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident in ~life

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Thank you so much for your reply. I'm sorry for your loss and I can understand those feelings of anger.

    Thank you so much for your reply. I'm sorry for your loss and I can understand those feelings of anger.

    2 votes

  9. Comment on Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident in ~life

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Definitely, not commenting too much. I truly appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post and offer your insights. I'm also not a religious person, and I'm sure I'm going to get the same...

    Definitely, not commenting too much. I truly appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post and offer your insights.
    I'm also not a religious person, and I'm sure I'm going to get the same sentiments. I'm just going to let people say what they want because I really don't care but if it helps them grieve, then so be it.

    Thankfully my work is being very understanding, and I'm also getting that sentiment.

    3 votes

  10. Comment on Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident in ~life

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Yes, I have friends and friends of the family. Thankfully they’re already starting to help with whatever they can, but it’s still a lot.

    Yes, I have friends and friends of the family. Thankfully they’re already starting to help with whatever they can, but it’s still a lot.

    3 votes

  11. Comment on Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident in ~life

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Thank you. I feel like all these replies are helping me so much more than the bird sounds I’m trying to play to get myself to sleep. Right, based on the checklist it said a lot of stuff is going...

    Thank you. I feel like all these replies are helping me so much more than the bird sounds I’m trying to play to get myself to sleep.

    Right, based on the checklist it said a lot of stuff is going to need a death certificate and that takes at least about two weeks. Thankfully I have a remote job and I’m going to ask them if I can work from the other country for a bit after my bereavement leave. We have people over there, (granted in that country’s division,) so hopefully it won’t be too big an ask.

    Thank you for the advice I really appreciate it.

    12 votes

  12. Comment on Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident in ~life

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Thank you for your response! Thank you for telling me that about drowning. To be honest my worst fear for a while was that someone would find her in her house who knows how many days later. Her...

    Thank you for your response!

    Thank you for telling me that about drowning. To be honest my worst fear for a while was that someone would find her in her house who knows how many days later. Her mental / physical health really worsened after COVID. I don’t want to go to much into detail, but in a way I’m glad she was with her dog and with her friends. And yes! She absolutely LOVED that dog! They went everywhere together. And I mean literally everywhere. I think she tied herself to her because she wouldn’t ever be able to bear her dog dying without her. I only got to meet the dog once but she was truly one of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever met.

    Edit: (Hit enter too fast.)
    I don’t have any children of my own, but I know she would have said the same thing though about not worrying so much about the end. She also said just stick her in the ground the cheapest way possible because once she’s gone she’s not going to care. I’m still deciding on whether to do a service, but I’ll try to at least get her dog buried with her. I know she would have liked that.

    12 votes

  13. Comment on Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident in ~life

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Thank you for responding, it really helps to hear just someone saying that this sucks. It really sucks! I’m sorry for your loss, as well. Yeah, I’ve gotten people asking me what they can do to...

    Thank you for responding, it really helps to hear just someone saying that this sucks. It really sucks! I’m sorry for your loss, as well.

    Yeah, I’ve gotten people asking me what they can do to help. I really just don’t know. But I’m sure once I get back I’ll have more concrete information on the situation.

    Unfortunately my partner will be staying here to take care of our own dog. I know he really wants to go with me, but this is probably the best way to support me right now. Knowing all my stuff here is taken care of will be a little peace of mind.
    I’ve done therapy before, so I’ll probably look into it again. Especially ones specializing in grief.

    6 votes

  14. Comment on Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident in ~life

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Thank you so much for responding. I really, truly appreciate it. Yes, I figured that I really should let my brain just do what it needs to do to process this. I think my grief is leaning too much...

    Thank you so much for responding. I really, truly appreciate it.

    Yes, I figured that I really should let my brain just do what it needs to do to process this. I think my grief is leaning too much into practicality. I keep thinking of the checklist I have to do. Telling my work, arranging a flight, informing family and friends, and once I get back, having to go through bank info, tax info, cancelling things in her name. It’s like I want everything neat and tidy before I will really let myself “go” and grieve. I am crying in between for sure, but it feels like I’m holding back too. I know there’s no right way to grieve, and I know I’m probably trying to avoid the pain by distracting myself with this stuff. It just really sucks. I feel like no matter what I do, I feel like I’d either be running away from the situation or running away from my pain.

    9 votes

  15. Any advice for dealing with grief from a traumatic incident

    ~life Ask (advice)
    Trigger Warnings: parent death, pet death, drowning Recently my mom passed away in a river accident. She had brought her service dog (a German Shepherd) with her on a rafting trip with friends....

    Trigger Warnings: parent death, pet death, drowning

    Recently my mom passed away in a river accident.
    She had brought her service dog (a German Shepherd) with her on a rafting trip with friends. From witness testimony, her raft got caught in some trees and as she was trying to detangle herself, her dog got spooked, and jumped into the river. My mom was tied to the dog, and they ended up drowning. They found both their bodies hours later.

    I’m still reeling, and I’m in shock. It’s almost early morning and I still can’t get to sleep. I live in a different country and I need to head back to deal with her affairs. She was a single mother, so it’s up to me to figure things out. I have a lot of support, but it still feels so overwhelming.

    I specifically would like any advice on how to deal with the “accident” part of her death. It would be one thing if she had died peacefully in her home. But the reason I can’t sleep is because my brain won’t stop trying to imagine what it must have been like in her final moments. The fear, the struggle, her body washing ashore and just sitting somewhere for hours until they could find her. How she must look like now. I will request they cremate her, the police pretty much recommended I don’t do a final look because of how she died. But the morbid curiosity is just there. I don’t know how to shut it off. I know she wouldn’t have wanted me to ruminate over it, but it’s almost like I’m getting the PTSD on her behalf.

    I’m also so angry. Angry at her for thinking it would be safe to bring her dog on a raft. Angry at her for tying herself to said dog. But I realize this is more like “denial/bargaining”. My brain keeps making these angry scenarios where I’m yelling at her not to be so stupid. What would possess her to do something like this? But of course that’s just another part of grief.

    I’m rambling, it’s late. (Or rather early?) I’m just really sad and tired. Any words would be appreciated.

    32 votes

  16. Comment on [SOLVED] Help me find a website in ~tech

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    Yeah I was put off a lot when I saw the Hermione upskirt part. Even if it's a reference to something, why did they have to choose THAT one. Why not any of the other multitudes of HP memes. That...

    Yeah I was put off a lot when I saw the Hermione upskirt part. Even if it's a reference to something, why did they have to choose THAT one. Why not any of the other multitudes of HP memes.
    That and the transphobic "It's Ma'am" reference in the women's bathroom really soured me on this site. Which is a shame because it's a seriously cool looking project.

    2 votes

  17. Comment on I worked for Mr Beast, he's a sociopath in ~tech

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    This is up there with "And racism will go away if we just ignore it!" line of reasoning.

    This is up there with "And racism will go away if we just ignore it!" line of reasoning.

    12 votes

  18. Comment on I worked for Mr Beast, he's a sociopath in ~tech

    Tanukey
    Link Parent
    White people still not understanding why black people can say it but they can't. Tale as old as time.

    White people still not understanding why black people can say it but they can't.

    Tale as old as time.

    6 votes

  19. Comment on The Library at Mount Char is a fantasy horror thriller fast paced ride of a book in ~books

    Tanukey
    Link
    I tried reading it a few years ago but gave up around halfway. Based on rereading my Goodreads review. I didn't like how absurdly powerful the Family/main protagonist was and the characters seemed...

    I tried reading it a few years ago but gave up around halfway. Based on rereading my Goodreads review. I didn't like how absurdly powerful the Family/main protagonist was and the characters seemed like one-dimensional teenagers with terrible dialogue.

    I also remember really hating the portrayal of the "rapper" character and his uh..."chick". The only PoC characters described, I think? Definitely wasn't for me.

    2 votes

  20. Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health

    Tanukey
    Link
    Had a hiatus April part of May but getting back in the gym. I'm trying to make it as easy as possible on myself: going during lunch and focusing on walking outside since that's the only excercise...

    Had a hiatus April part of May but getting back in the gym.

    I'm trying to make it as easy as possible on myself: going during lunch and focusing on walking outside since that's the only excercise I do for the fun of it. Already get 7k a day in between the 2 walks I do with my dog.

    I'm thinking of getting one of those walking pads for my home. I could easily listen to podcasts or watch YouTube and walk. Wondering how good they are...