BeardyHat's recent activity
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
BeardyHat Link ParentDo you have kids? I ask, because the turn in this piece is suggestive of the Author's saying that they're a new parent and they're fearful of this kind of thing happening to them with their child....- Exemplary
Do you have kids?
I ask, because the turn in this piece is suggestive of the Author's saying that they're a new parent and they're fearful of this kind of thing happening to them with their child.
And it's easy to say, "Well don't be shitty." but the Author addresses that in the piece, suggesting that maybe some estrangements are unjustified, not that all of them are, but, just look around you at the current zeitgeist around "Toxicity" and "Cutting people out of your life who are Toxic". We see these studies that suggest Gen-Z is the loneliest generation, but all the media they see says to them that rather than work with "Toxic" people, you just cut them out of your life.
I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but what I am saying--and what the author is trying to get at--is this modern incarnation of "Therapy Speak" can itself be Toxic and perhaps part of the reason a generation might be labeled as "lonely". Rather than work and understand people with different viewpoints or opinions, they're labeled Toxic and cut out of the picture.
The Author is worried that this might be a thing amongst estranged people and that it would happen to them and their own child, that's the turn.
It's not that the Author is saying Estrangement is bad or good, simply that it can be a muddled thing in this day and age. Look at the people the author cites as having questions as to if this is the right choice for them or not.
I'm not saying you're wrong to cut your Father out, but I do think you've misinterpreted what the Author is trying to get at here. I've had my own struggles with my family as well; we're diametrically opposed as far as political beliefs have gone and I have cut my Mom out for short periods of time when I can't take her bullshit. My wife cut her brother out for years and is now very low contact with him due to his abuse of her as kids and teens, so I get it.
But the Author fears--and also as a parent, so do I--that their child may cut them out of their lives for some perceived slight or toxicity that may or may not have happened, owing to what the author describes as generally children feeling their relationships with their parents are overall less important than the other way around.
My own child has anger problems that my wife and I are trying to work through. He can go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds for any perceived slight--he's also 6--and I could absolutely see that anger taking over him as he grows older and perceiving us to have slighted him in some way and cutting us out of his life, which would absolutely gut me. He's a great kid, but his anger and irritability sometimes has us walking on eggshells around him and we're struggling to teach him to get it under control.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
BeardyHat Link ParentI fear for this with my two kids. My youngest is similar, you never know what's going to set him off and I worry his situation is going to replicate yours with your brother. My wife and I are...My brother has some issues. Mental health among others and he has basically made my life miserable for the entirety of our time growing up together. He left for college and I haven't really spoken with him much since. I never actually realized how miserable I was until he was out of the picture. I'm a bit shamed to say but it's been fucking nice. Mom and Dad are pretty upset that I don't talk with much, but whenever I do, its like talking to a bear. I never know what is going to set him off. It's awful. I firmly keep him at arms length now. I'd always hoped going to college and is not living in the same house or playing on the same teams would have made things better but it hasn't. Mom and dad baby him and give me a hard time because I'm "functioning better" than despite the fact that I still need my mom and dad for things too. It makes for some uncomfortable dynamics that sometimes make me feel like a burden.
I fear for this with my two kids. My youngest is similar, you never know what's going to set him off and I worry his situation is going to replicate yours with your brother. My wife and I are trying our hardest to address his issues and get him to control that, but boy it's hard.
One thing I realized reading a book about anxiety yesterday (for myself) is that he may actually have anxiety, which wouldn't be surprising. It kind of lines up with his behavior, but behavioral therapy is hard to get and not cheap either.
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Comment on Nobody understands the point of hybrid cars in ~transport
BeardyHat LinkThis is a neat video. I'm a bit of a car nut and I've always kind of understood how Hybrids function, but to see it in action is absolutely fascinating and helped illuminate some things I was...This is a neat video. I'm a bit of a car nut and I've always kind of understood how Hybrids function, but to see it in action is absolutely fascinating and helped illuminate some things I was unaware of--I knew about regenerative braking and assumed I knew how it worked, turns out, I didn't. I love the fact that Hybrids are mechanically more simple than a conventional ICE car, another thing I assumed the opposite. Boy it would be awesome not to have to deal with transmission and alternator issues anymore.
On another note, I'd love a Sienna to replace my current van, especially a hybrid, but the fact that the second row isn't easily removable takes it off the table completely for me, which is unfortunate.
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Comment on Steam Controller 2 sold out in ~games
BeardyHat Link ParentIt takes the Steam Deck controls and puts them in a controller format. For perverts like myself who have become accustomed to using the trackpads on the Deck to play a variety of Keyboard + Mouse...It takes the Steam Deck controls and puts them in a controller format.
For perverts like myself who have become accustomed to using the trackpads on the Deck to play a variety of Keyboard + Mouse driven PC games, it's a game changer. I have two original Steam Controllers which I very much love and use frequently, but I have my complaints about them (No D-Pad, no Right Analogue) and the Controller 2 solves both those issues.
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Comment on Do you prefer chunky or smooth peanut butter? in ~food
BeardyHat Link ParentWait, wait. If I put my organic peanut butter in the fridge it won't separate? Will this work for already separated PB directly from the store?Wait, wait.
If I put my organic peanut butter in the fridge it won't separate? Will this work for already separated PB directly from the store?
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Comment on What's your dream job? in ~life
BeardyHat Link ParentDamn my parents for being working class.Damn my parents for being working class.
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Comment on What's your dream job? in ~life
BeardyHat LinkOne where I work from home, make lots of money and no one really bothers me or needs anything from me, so I can focus on my hobbies and my family.One where I work from home, make lots of money and no one really bothers me or needs anything from me, so I can focus on my hobbies and my family.
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Comment on Steam Controller 2 sold out in ~games
BeardyHat Link ParentSame happened to me. Was supposed to be a Fathers Day gift. Yes I'm a little sore about it, but I guess in the grand scheme I'm trying to remember that if this is the biggest issue I have right...Same happened to me. Was supposed to be a Fathers Day gift.
Yes I'm a little sore about it, but I guess in the grand scheme I'm trying to remember that if this is the biggest issue I have right now, I'm ok.
Still frustrated.
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Comment on Steam Controller 2 sold out in ~games
BeardyHat Link ParentWorth noting you can go through and report them for Presale. I did that to about 20 listings, because I'm petty and I want one.Worth noting you can go through and report them for Presale. I did that to about 20 listings, because I'm petty and I want one.
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Comment on Steam Controller 2 sold out in ~games
BeardyHat LinkKept getting the payment processing error for an hour and now they're sold out. Hoping I can get one, as it supposed to be a Fathers Day gift to myself.Kept getting the payment processing error for an hour and now they're sold out. Hoping I can get one, as it supposed to be a Fathers Day gift to myself.
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Comment on Reddit reports 69% jump in revenue, topping analyst estimates in ~tech
BeardyHat Link ParentI know many of us are former Reddit users, but I think they definitely switched over from our style of terminally online (whatever that entails) to a much more general idea. I know a lot of people...I know many of us are former Reddit users, but I think they definitely switched over from our style of terminally online (whatever that entails) to a much more general idea. I know a lot of people who use Reddit now who aren't the type of people that would have used Reddit when I was using it through the 2010's.
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Comment on USA to mandate surveillance tech for new cars also determing fitness to drive by 2027 in ~transport
BeardyHat Link ParentI mean, most cars built in the last 10 years are subject to this nannying. My newest car is a 2012 and doesn't have any of this technology, so realistically, that's probably my cut off date. So...I mean, most cars built in the last 10 years are subject to this nannying. My newest car is a 2012 and doesn't have any of this technology, so realistically, that's probably my cut off date. So inevitably, I'm buying something old anyway.
But also, I can't afford a new car. My wife and I do not have the money to spend $1000 a month on a car payment with insurance. However, I do have the skills, knowledge, tools and space to repair my old cars, as long as parts are still available. My 2004 costs me roughly $400-$500 a year to drive (excluding gasoline).
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Comment on CGA-2026-04 đšī¸đđ§âđ REMOVE CARTRIDGE âī¸ Space Rogue in ~games
BeardyHat LinkI'm sorry. I come to you, hat in hand, making this post as an act of contrition. I bought Space Rogue at the beginning of the month (also Pirates!) and then never bothered to actually play. I...I'm sorry.
I come to you, hat in hand, making this post as an act of contrition.
I bought Space Rogue at the beginning of the month (also Pirates!) and then never bothered to actually play. I won't say I was busy, even though I technically was, it was just with other games. I don't usually have a ton of time to game and the time that I did have was utterly sucked up by this other game. Space Rogue was in the back of my mind the entire time, but I just didn't want to go through the learning process of it.
Anyway, I apologize for my lack of participation. I'm often somewhat bad at this, usually only playing our monthly games for a couple of hours, but I didn't even touch this one at all.
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Comment on USA to mandate surveillance tech for new cars also determing fitness to drive by 2027 in ~transport
BeardyHat Link ParentI was shouting and swearing fixing my 2004 just last week, swearing I was going to get rid of it. But this just reminds me I need to keep it going as long as I can. Unfortunately, it's getting to...I was shouting and swearing fixing my 2004 just last week, swearing I was going to get rid of it. But this just reminds me I need to keep it going as long as I can. Unfortunately, it's getting to the point where I'm beginning to see parts only available via junkyard and this is a pretty common car (Grand Caravan), so it's likely on borrowed time.
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Comment on New Steam Controller reportedly $99 in ~games
BeardyHat Link ParentThis hits the nail on the head. I'm not gonna glaze Valve, but I do like their service and I've been a happy customer of Steam for 22 years now. I've never lost access to any of my titles I've...This hits the nail on the head. I'm not gonna glaze Valve, but I do like their service and I've been a happy customer of Steam for 22 years now. I've never lost access to any of my titles I've purchased in those 22 years, very much unlike all the money I spent with Nintendo over the years.
I still buy stuff on GoG, because I want to spread my money around and want them to continue to exist as a company and service; I've got over 250-games alone on GoG. But currently, I'm playing a game on Steam that I bought 11 years ago and using current hardware to do it; any other service and I'd be trying to hook up an old console and praying it still supports modern Wifi or the store is still available to download from. I don't worry about that (at least for the near future) with Steam.
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Comment on New Steam Controller reportedly $99 in ~games
BeardyHat Link ParentThink you really gotta want what it's selling. If I never intended to use the trackpads, yeah, I wouldn't bother. I have an SN30 Pro I love, as well as a wireless Xbox One and Xbox 360 controller...Think you really gotta want what it's selling.
If I never intended to use the trackpads, yeah, I wouldn't bother. I have an SN30 Pro I love, as well as a wireless Xbox One and Xbox 360 controller that I've modded with a better D-Pad. I like all of them quite a lot and they suit me fine when I want to play something controller oriented.
But a lot of the time I want to play, "PC-Ass-PC-Games" and the Deck control style with touchpad just hits that exactly for me. $100 is definitely more than I want to spend and I think my wife will be ok with it, but I'd like to have 2 and I don't think I can justify $200+ for that.
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Comment on New Steam Controller reportedly $99 in ~games
BeardyHat Link ParentI trot this anecdote out everytime I talk about PC gaming, but I've been doing it for a long time. Over 30 years now and next year will be the 30th anniversary of teaching myself to use the...I trot this anecdote out everytime I talk about PC gaming, but I've been doing it for a long time. Over 30 years now and next year will be the 30th anniversary of teaching myself to use the keyboard and mouse for gaming (WASD was a revelation at the time. Everyone prior just used the keyboard only to play FPS games).
Anyway, I used to struggle a lot using controllers, often becoming frustrated with them, but the Deck changed that. Now I much prefer controllers for when I game, because it's a lot easier on my hands and wrists, having developed carpal tunnel in the last several years. But using a regular controller still isn't my favorite thing because of the lack of versatility and inability to play a lot of PC games well.
So, I'll throw out a short list of stuff I play and how I generally use it.
Games that require minimal setup:
Transport Fever 2
Pillars of Eternity
FPS games (classic PC shooters and Boom Shoots)
Command & Conquer: Red Alert
Battle BrothersBy and large in these games (mostly TF2, PoE & C&C, BB), they're functional out of the box. I use the right trackpad as my mouse cursor and the left I setup as a clockwise/counter-clockwise motion to scroll the mouse wheel for zooming in and out. Often I'll set the DPAD to 1-2-3-4 depending on direction so I can access quick commands, such as selecting a group in C&C (which is assigned by holding Ctrl and pressing a number. I usually assign left bumper to Ctrl) or selecting an ability to use in Battle Brothers.
Other stuff requires a lot more customization. For example, I play Vanilla World of Warcraft on my Deck and the setup there is quite complicated. Right trackpad as mouse again, but I can hold the left bumper to mode shift, which turns it into the scroll wheel for when I need it. Left trackpad is a radial menu for 5 different abilities and again holding the right bumper changes that radial menu into less urgent hot keys, such as accessing my map, inventory, character screen, etc and there I have about 8 or so different keys bound.
The right joystick is used for my F-keys, F1 through F5, depending on direction, for quick selecting party members for healing when I'm in a dungeon or otherwise. Plus a lot of random other stuff around the buttons, such as a combination of the back buttons being used for Tab targeting, Assist key, Attack Key and Shift key for selecting/looting multiple things at once.
It's complicated, but it's custom to me and therein lies the power and what I want Steam Controller 2 for: Steam Input customization. My first year or two of using the Deck, I only used Steam Input a little bit, never getting too deep into it, but the more you learn it and understand it, the more you realize what an incredibly powerful tool it is to play games how you want to play them. The Steam Controller is just an extension of that, adding the ability to use a proper mouse (which I find 90% as good as using a real mouse), in addition to the ability to basically use the entire keyboard via the other trackpad and various other customizations you can do to the other controls, such as what I've done with Vanilla WoW. This isn't even using any of it to it's full potential, given I typically disable gyro, because I find it annoying, though many swear by it for FPS games, so I may eventually better acquaint myself with that as well.
Edit: hella long post to answer a simple question, sorry. My wife hates that...
Anyway, the TLDR of what games I play: PC games. Games from every era, modern , all the way back to DOS. Games that aren't always designed with a controller in mind, in spite of it often being my preferred method these days.
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Comment on New Steam Controller reportedly $99 in ~games
BeardyHat LinkBeing totally honest, it's more than I was expecting and more than I want I pay, but I will buy it because there's nothing else like it. Since the announcement, I've had it in my head that it...Being totally honest, it's more than I was expecting and more than I want I pay, but I will buy it because there's nothing else like it.
Since the announcement, I've had it in my head that it would be about $70, so $100 is a bit of sticker shock for me. But, I've had my Deck for going on four years now and the controls are a game changer for me; I still like my standard controllers, but having access to the touchpads just opens up so many options.
I've enjoyed the setup on my Deck so much, I've actually gone back to using my original Steam Controller occasionally. Only occasionally, however, because the lack of a proper DPad and right Analogue makes it only useful for some games. I'm greatly looking forward to setting this up and playing all the keyboard/mouse driven games I play on my Deck, using the controller on my laptop.
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New Steam Controller reportedly $99
64 votes
First, I want to say I'm sorry for any offense, it wasn't my intention. I also want to say that if you've chosen to cut family out of your life, that is a valid decision; again, my wife has done it with one of her brothers and I have given the thought serious consideration with my own parents. In my own case, I have a lot of anger over their political opinions and it is directly affecting my own life and I see that as a valid reason to stop talking to them.
What I was trying to do was clarify. Your original comment read to me like a misread of the original text, so I was attempting to clarify how I read it and that I thought the Author was giving thought and empathy to both sides. Not necessarily validating bad parenting, but more considering the idea that the in the current zeitgeist we see this push to cut toxic people from our lives, but those judgements, while valid, aren't always correct--for a variety of reasons. There are plenty of valid reasons and the subject of the piece, Amy, sounds like a fantastic piece of evidence for the practice.
I'm not saying cutting people out is bad, just that as a parent who's trying to raise two reasonable, adjusted adults, I'm fearful of the traps we can fall into as people with the advent of the social media and its shifting zeitgeist. I make deliberate choices in my parenting because of the way my own parents raised me, choosing the opposite of many of the poor things they did and trying to reinforce the pieces I thought were beneficial. But as humans, as parents, we can't help but make wrong decisions sometimes; sometimes I'm tired, stressed, frustrated and I yell at my kids undeservedly and when I'm more cool headed, I will apologize for my own behavior. But we don't always remember those things as we grow older, that Dad used to apologize when he yelled at us and that's my fear; that the takeaway will be, "Dad used to yell at us for nothing." and then rather than thinking any deeper about it or having empathy towards their parents as humans, they simply decide to cut us out. That is the point I believe the author was trying to get at.
All parents have faults. All of us fail, all of us are weak and stupid and all the other things that come with being human. But we hope that as our kids grow older, they can understand us as humans and forgive us our sins and mistakes. This is the anxiety of being a parent. That is what I think the Author is trying to get at. That constant anxiety of this choice we've made and the choices we continue to make every day that we do it.
It's different when your parent might be sexually abusive, severely emotionally abusive, manipulative, narcissistic, drug addled, alcoholic, whatever. I can understand cutting that type of person from your life.