lostwax's recent activity
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Comment on The cost of safetyism - what we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard in ~life
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Comment on Bolt CEO says he let go of his entire HR team for creating problems that didn’t exist: ‘Those problems disappeared when I let them go’ in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentYes, I worked there at the time, about 25 years ago. I remember the email announcing it, the retraction and the eye rolling. Not in the US.Yes, I worked there at the time, about 25 years ago. I remember the email announcing it, the retraction and the eye rolling. Not in the US.
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Comment on Google Search as you know it is over in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentIt does make me wonder what the point of an AI slop page filled with ads and scams would be, if the only things visiting it is bots. My immediate thought is that the economic model they're based...It does make me wonder what the point of an AI slop page filled with ads and scams would be, if the only things visiting it is bots. My immediate thought is that the economic model they're based on wouldn't work anymore and they might go away. One can hope right?
I'm even finding https://marginalia-search.com to regularly be more useful than ddg or google due to its much more aggressive filtering of spam. My field of search is often heritage building methods and (very broadly) related things, which is obscure, even so, this is impressive/surprising for a one man organisation.
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Comment on Excerpts from actual one-star Amazon.com reviews of books from Time’s list of the 100 best novels from 1923 to the present in ~books
lostwax Link ParentMy 13 year old self agreed, it felt patronising somehow. Haven't been back to try again, perhaps I should?My 13 year old self agreed, it felt patronising somehow. Haven't been back to try again, perhaps I should?
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Comment on Bolt CEO says he let go of his entire HR team for creating problems that didn’t exist: ‘Those problems disappeared when I let them go’ in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentStaff Services was my favourite HR rebrand, it launched but lasted less than a day. This was at a huge university with an appropriately large HR department, I do wonder about a culture that...Staff Services was my favourite HR rebrand, it launched but lasted less than a day. This was at a huge university with an appropriately large HR department, I do wonder about a culture that produces that and launches it with no one either noticing or speaking up.
"Ah, you haven't been paid properly? Talk to your friendly SS rep."
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Comment on What stock do you put in gut feelings? in ~talk
lostwax LinkI have a couple of suspicions: We aren't always conscious of what we have observed and we aren't conscious of everything we know. Secondly, even what we are conscious of often isn't easily...I have a couple of suspicions: We aren't always conscious of what we have observed and we aren't conscious of everything we know. Secondly, even what we are conscious of often isn't easily articulated or reduced to being either a pro or a con. I think these things make up a large proportion of gut feeling.
When I've got out a bit of paper and drawn up pros and cons I've often made fairly poor decisions given hindsight and I've tried to both get better at noticing and articulating what I know and listening to my gut. My decisions have not necessarily improved but I am probably a bit happier.
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Comment on What has changed as you've gotten older? in ~talk
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Comment on What stock do you put in gut feelings? in ~talk
lostwax Link ParentHow does longer term planning work for you? My partner is similar to you and something we're grappling with at the moment is their lack of long term planning, or even ability to plan how they will...I actually operate almost entirely on instinct. Everything from my job to my relationships, I’m flying by the seat of my pants on every single decision I make.
How does longer term planning work for you? My partner is similar to you and something we're grappling with at the moment is their lack of long term planning, or even ability to plan how they will react in recurring situations a bit more deliberately, and the lack of internal resources that could be used to make this work better. I am very curious if things are the same for you.
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Comment on What’s something that didn’t work for you? in ~talk
lostwax Link ParentWe hardly ever watch it now but having had a kid grow through that kind of TV I am so glad I was able to watch bluey over peppa pig, or basically anything else available. In real life I'd probably...We hardly ever watch it now but having had a kid grow through that kind of TV I am so glad I was able to watch bluey over peppa pig, or basically anything else available. In real life I'd probably find the dad a bit boring (assuming normal human form) but he's not an idiot having jokes hung on him and the bar is so low that that is quite an improvement.
And I challenge anyone to watch an episode like sleepy time with their three year old curled up next to them and not feel something. Different story without kids I'd guess.
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Comment on What’s something that didn’t work for you? in ~talk
lostwax Link ParentThis also happened to me in my early thirties, with a couple of really paranoid times that should have been relaxing. I gave it up for years after that but did find more recently that a couple of...This also happened to me in my early thirties, with a couple of really paranoid times that should have been relaxing. I gave it up for years after that but did find more recently that a couple of puffs on a joint with a friend late at night after a party was more like I remembered. I think the difference is the setting and I can't expect to have the same experience I had relaxing with friends in my relatively carefree 20's if I'm smoking by myself in between four million things to do in my 40's. Having a kid is like that too, I'm not surprised your head is in a different place, the weed may or may not be the same but you definitely aren't.
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Comment on What’s something that didn’t work for you? in ~talk
lostwax Link ParentTell us you live in the US without telling us you live in the US. This reads as totally insane from the outside, I feel for you.Tell us you live in the US without telling us you live in the US. This reads as totally insane from the outside, I feel for you.
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Comment on What was the best job you ever had? in ~life
lostwax LinkConstruction site and production manager in the cultural industry. So much is like normal construction, until it's really not. Working with creative people doing cool things and sitting between...Construction site and production manager in the cultural industry. So much is like normal construction, until it's really not. Working with creative people doing cool things and sitting between them and contractors from the wider industry that have to somehow be shoehorned into this scene where nothing quite works as they think. And vice versa.
I could have doubled my money by going and working in the mainstream industry but I don't think I was ever really tempted, it was a lot of work but also a lot of fun, and culturally it was and is home. I don't do it anymore and miss it but 60 to 80 hour weeks aren't compatible with school drop offs, or sanity in the end.
Honourable mention goes to delivering pizza for pizza hut. Fanging it around suburban streets before I was old enough to know how dangerous it was to do 90kmh through the bends past my high school, coupled with eating pizza and hanging around talking with some really cool people when not fanging it. I had a lot of fun doing that job, and not a worry to take home. Or really any money, as the down side.
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Comment on Scientists gave cocaine to salmon and you will absolutely believe what happened next in ~science
lostwax Link ParentIt's generally available, as others have noted. It's used in sinus surgery and I tell you, you come out of anaesthetic very high indeed. The nurses get some entertainment.It's generally available, as others have noted. It's used in sinus surgery and I tell you, you come out of anaesthetic very high indeed. The nurses get some entertainment.
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Comment on Gothenburg promised to optimise school admissions with a piece of code. The resulting chaos showed how unaccountable systems are ruining lives. in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentI'm not sure how different a perspective can be held and have much to do with reality. It's in the name; Limited Liability Company in the US, Proprietary Limited and its various abbreviations in...My generally applicable argument about the role of the enterprise is my own and you may have a different perspective.
I'm not sure how different a perspective can be held and have much to do with reality. It's in the name; Limited Liability Company in the US, Proprietary Limited and its various abbreviations in many others, etc. The first company structure beyond an individual is generally used in the first instance to limit personal responsibility and it's not a secret.
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Comment on Lost/losing the drive for friendship in ~health.mental
lostwax LinkIntimacy comes from vulnerability, I'm pretty sure. If your relationships with people stay stubbornly surface level and unrewarding, consider how much you share of yourself and how willing you are...Intimacy comes from vulnerability, I'm pretty sure.
If your relationships with people stay stubbornly surface level and unrewarding, consider how much you share of yourself and how willing you are to have people comment on where you are at, help you with things and participate in what you would generally consider private.
A good shortcut to heading down this path is to ask people to help with practical things - moving house or fixing your garden or whatever. Match that with emotional openness and you're on your way. A good way to find people to pull from in this is all the ways others mentioned above, but most of them won't magically make friends without a little bit of vulnerability on your part.
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Comment on Lost/losing the drive for friendship in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentThere may be something to this, because, well, you can. An observation I've made of people who struggle with intimacy and friendship is that they are often good listeners but they share little of...And it's not like I can ask others about it.
There may be something to this, because, well, you can. An observation I've made of people who struggle with intimacy and friendship is that they are often good listeners but they share little of themselves and ask for little for themselves. It needs to be a two way street.
I have no idea if this applies to you and my apologies for pinning the observation on a quote of yours that may not have warranted it, but it stuck out to me.
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Comment on Lost/losing the drive for friendship in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentI have a friend that describes his dog as his agent. Having a dog gives you a reason to be outside, doing not much other than letting your dog poo and run, in the same place other people are doing...I have a friend that describes his dog as his agent. Having a dog gives you a reason to be outside, doing not much other than letting your dog poo and run, in the same place other people are doing the same. The key to this is that a lot of people do it same place, same time, every day and community and engagement springs up in turn.
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Comment on Lost/losing the drive for friendship in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentI think the original quote intended to say that it's better to drink a little and take the little help that can give socialising than to abstain. For most people drinking is not a binary choice...I think the original quote intended to say that it's better to drink a little and take the little help that can give socialising than to abstain.
For most people drinking is not a binary choice between alcoholism and abstention/sobriety. If it is that binary for you then obviously don't try and use it to help in any situation, but no matter the emotiveness of the subject for you it can be of some benefit to others.
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Comment on What Google thinks you're worth in ~tech
lostwax LinkThe interesting thing to me is how high the average value is, it makes me suspect that opting out of this ecosystem as far as possible, through aggressive ad blocking, not using ad supported...The interesting thing to me is how high the average value is, it makes me suspect that opting out of this ecosystem as far as possible, through aggressive ad blocking, not using ad supported services, making an effort to reduce tracking, etc, is actually a significant act, depriving google et el of significant revenue.
We're not talking $4.50 here and if more people pushed back things would get interesting (and more mercenary I suspect).
Most people don't realise how much they're worth.
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Comment on What are your go-to meals that you cook? in ~food
lostwax Link ParentMy meal for that frame of mind is sardines on toast. Make toast, scratch a clove of garlic over it, being generous, squash plain sardines in olive oil over the top, apply salt and oil from the...My meal for that frame of mind is sardines on toast. Make toast, scratch a clove of garlic over it, being generous, squash plain sardines in olive oil over the top, apply salt and oil from the tin. Cheap, very tasty and actually healthy.
I have a seven year old who is allowed to go out into the park by himself, shop for food at the other end of a busy market by himself and is generally being pushed to develop a sense of independence and resilience. He's a challenging kid in other ways but this side of things is working great. Really great actually.
The shitty bit is that, excluding one friend up the hill from us, none of his peers are outside for him to find. He's about the only kid in the market handing over money and buying his lunch himself. Etc. So as much as I don't want these to be socially isolated activities for him, they often are, which has its own effects. And I've learnt to be quiet about what he's allowed to do lest other parents regard me as unhinged, so extolling the virtues of this approach is hard. His peers at the other end of the spectrum are often not doing so great.