lostwax's recent activity
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Comment on Tildes Survey #9: How optimistic are you about the future? in ~talk
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Comment on Caught the cycling bug. Anyone else? in ~hobbies
lostwax LinkCycling has been my default way to get around town for most of my life. To me it's the best compromise between the intimacy with your surroundings that you get from walking and the time saved by...Cycling has been my default way to get around town for most of my life. To me it's the best compromise between the intimacy with your surroundings that you get from walking and the time saved by using a vehicle.
Twenty five years ago I'd go riding just to go riding and loved some of the touring I did, these days I just incidentally enjoy getting around the place.
My kid is just getting competent at getting around on a bike and it's his favourite form of transport by far. I'm looking forward to him getting old enough that we can head out for a night or two.
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Comment on What internet discussion sites remain? in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentSlashdot is still there and voting looks like it works the same way, or similar at least. I spent a bit of time there around the late 90s. It worked and was particularly good at rapidly hiding...Slashdot is still there and voting looks like it works the same way, or similar at least.
I spent a bit of time there around the late 90s. It worked and was particularly good at rapidly hiding spam or anything else awful but it did otherwise gamify things pretty badly.
No votes is always best, at that point you just get people chatting.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #9: How optimistic are you about the future? in ~talk
lostwax Link ParentThis is absolutely true of a baby born to peasants in Europe in say 1100. It's not at all true of a tribesperson in Australia relatively recently and likely not true across the world at various...Before the 18th/19th century, life expectancy was pure crap compared to today. Additionally, the chances of you being born into a situation where you didn't have to basically slave your whole life away to get your next meal and keep some rags on your back were pretty low.
This is absolutely true of a baby born to peasants in Europe in say 1100. It's not at all true of a tribesperson in Australia relatively recently and likely not true across the world at various points in long scale history. Pre-history, probably technically.
Life expectancy was about 60, assuming you lived through infancy*. That's not bad and something exceeded only very recently. From what I know of Aboriginal life, there wasn't actually a heap of work involved. Everything I've read indicates a life I could life with, probably happily. A position in that society was held for those not hetero or cis gendered (I provided the tech for an academic discussion of this many years ago, I wish I too notes or something, it blew my mind but I wasn't exactly expecting it). I doubt it was utopia but it's more representative of most of human history than anything that's happened post agriculture. Your assertion that everything stone age was awful seems baseless to me, we evolved in that environment to what we are now, I can't imagine we evolved to hate every minute of it. Stonehenge was not built by a society universally in misery.
*you probably didn't.
More broadly I can acknowledge your point but I suspect it's a position that vastly underestimates the fragility of our current circumstance.
there have always been astounding challenges that somehow humanity still pulls through.
This is the ultimate in selection bias, everything pulls through until it doesn't. When I hear it I hear an article of faith more than anything else. I have been through astounding challenges in my life that I have pulled through. Yet, we can say with certainty that I will not live forever, despite nothing having killed me yet.
Most of what we have achieved since the start of the industrial revolution has been on credit that the planet we live on has advanced. The timescale of that borrowing is incredibly short, far shorter than most people can get their heads around. The fact that it has been such a short time means the bill hasn't really been presented yet, though the scale is becoming apparent. Do a bit of reading on planetary boundaries, carbon is one but there are a number and most are under great stress. This isn't kooky fringe science and we won't be able to successfully ignore them.
My suspicion is that the boomers will be the last generation to dine out on planetary credit without really having to worry about the bill coming in.
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Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music
lostwax LinkI've been crook this week so not so much on the music but I had on some old Chris Wilson on this afternoon. Really good stuff if you like bluesy/folky singer songwriter type things.I've been crook this week so not so much on the music but I had on some old Chris Wilson on this afternoon. Really good stuff if you like bluesy/folky singer songwriter type things.
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Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music
lostwax Link ParentCheck out Frenzee. They rock hard, if you get a chance to see them live do what you can to go. They'll rip your head off and you'll leave exhausted with a grin on your face. I saw them a couple of...Check out Frenzee. They rock hard, if you get a chance to see them live do what you can to go. They'll rip your head off and you'll leave exhausted with a grin on your face. I saw them a couple of months ago, best gig in a while.
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Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music
lostwax Link ParentBoth from artists not at all in a good place. They are both incredible but they remind me of a moment I had with my son, who likes rather heavy music, when I went on a 90s grunge/alt/whatever...Both from artists not at all in a good place. They are both incredible but they remind me of a moment I had with my son, who likes rather heavy music, when I went on a 90s grunge/alt/whatever binge one afternoon. He asked some questions and I paused a moment and had to say, yeah, a distressing proportion of these people are dead.
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Comment on What internet discussion sites remain? in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentI emailed a couple of times, separated by months, last year. No response on them.I emailed a couple of times, separated by months, last year. No response on them.
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Comment on What internet discussion sites remain? in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentPerhaps only because invites are so hard to get. Theoretically you can email invites@tildes but in reality there won't be a reply. Invite codes aren't given to newer users at any stage...If tildes and lobster.rs exist, why create another version of them?
Perhaps only because invites are so hard to get. Theoretically you can email invites@tildes but in reality there won't be a reply. Invite codes aren't given to newer users at any stage automatically as far as I can tell. That's all kind of fine really except it must make growth exceptionally slow (or negative, we don't know) and if you are a newer user and want to spread the love, bad luck.
I actually like the lack of angst about tildes that the lack of transparency engenders but there are probably some downsides too.
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Comment on Google Chrome to fully remove legacy support for manifest v2 in ~tech
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Comment on "The therapeutic industry is platonic prostitution" in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentI've no argument with that and resemble it somewhat. I think that need has probably been tackled many different ways over the millennia.I've no argument with that and resemble it somewhat.
I think that need has probably been tackled many different ways over the millennia.
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Comment on "The therapeutic industry is platonic prostitution" in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentMost people today still take their friends from those already around them, doesn't mean they're not chosen. I feel you did speculate, through saying that being able to make your own friends is a...Most people today still take their friends from those already around them, doesn't mean they're not chosen. I feel you did speculate, through saying that being able to make your own friends is a modern innovation. It's just that that's a negative speculation, which is somehow ok, which is the attitude to the past I was taking a dig at in the first place.
I know they mourned, we have accounts from the Victorian era and before, and if I want to be sure I can go for a walk through my local cemetery and look at the money thrown at headstones for kids in the 1800's.
I'm not suggesting the past is a utopia any more than the present is, born not that long ago I'd have been one of those dead children, on account of the appendix that ruptured when I was seven. But to believe that the people that lived 200 or 2,000 years ago had a diminished capacity for connection or capacity for happiness, when they are as human as we are, is I think both wrong and very convenient for those that want to sell us shit.
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Comment on "The therapeutic industry is platonic prostitution" in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentI strongly suspect most people would end up with very deep relationships with others as an outcome of that situation. We know that modern humans haven't changed significantly in an evolutionary...I strongly suspect most people would end up with very deep relationships with others as an outcome of that situation.
We know that modern humans haven't changed significantly in an evolutionary sense for what, at least on the timescale of civilisations, is a very long time. The needs and desires that you and those around you possess are strongly informed by the context you exist in but at a biological level they are the same as those of an a peasant 5,000 years ago or a tribesperson 25,000 years ago. If you have the capacity to take joy from time spent with someone you care for, so did your ancestors, and mine. If you need some of that joy in order to feel that life is worth living, so did peoples past.
As far as being forced upon them - sure, but only in the sense that one's external context is always imposed without consent. I'm not sure what a world where that's not the case would look like. You are likely forced to many things alone that your ancestors would pity you for, as you pity their lack of independence.
I am honestly a bit stumped by the idea that making your own friends is something that's only possible in modern society. What leads you to suggest this?
Traveling by yourself is a recent development, but I think you could also make a good argument that the desire to do so is a recent development as well. To me, it's very interesting to consider what has engendered that desire.
I am very wary of thinking that positions modern civilisation as any kind of utopia. That doesn't mean we should give in to nostalgia and start moaning on Facebook about how everything was better when we made stuff here and other gripes ad-nauseum, but it is clear that the modern world doesn't have everything right, by a long margin. We have had more sustainable ways of living in operation for most of our time on the planet. Were they happier times? I don't know, but I'd need good evidence to believe that they were less happy.
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Comment on "The therapeutic industry is platonic prostitution" in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentI query the competence of any therapist that isn't assessing these things for basically every client. It's very hard to do any significant work if you don't shore up the scaffolding you're...Fixing the other supposedly 'little' stresses in my life that weren't the direct problem, but complicated my headspace enough that I couldn't concentrate on the problem. These are things like not getting enough sleep, worrying about money, toxic people in my life, niggling physical ailments like low blood pressure, etc.
I query the competence of any therapist that isn't assessing these things for basically every client. It's very hard to do any significant work if you don't shore up the scaffolding you're standing on first.
Similar to you, sleep is massive for me and if you deprive me of sleep for more than about three days my mental health will fall apart. The first person to notice that and help me address it was a therapist. I'm not arguing with your experience at all, it is what it is, but I do scratch my head about the therapist a bit.
As a sidenote I relate to your second point somewhat, a good wallow can be healing. I listen to a lot of pretty bleak music, it's comforting somehow.
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Comment on "The therapeutic industry is platonic prostitution" in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentI hear and feel your anguish, to the extent that 25 years ago I would have agreed with a good proportion of it. You have my empathy. I would suggest that most people responding here have...I hear and feel your anguish, to the extent that 25 years ago I would have agreed with a good proportion of it. You have my empathy. I would suggest that most people responding here have understood you, but they also either disagree with you or at least have a different perspective. That doesn't mean you have failed to express yourself, haven't presented a valid point of view or aren't valuable.
I think it may be helpful to consider what you were hoping for in making your original post. You are on a website that doesn't really do uncritical affirmations, and even though people here are almost universally respectful and polite you will receive critique whether you post about sandwiches or your mental health and that probably shouldn't be a surprise. Sometimes that critique arrives without any niceties beyond good grammar and politeness. Perhaps those critiques could be couched better when we are discussing a topic so central to someone's identity and experience but it's not a requirement here (or really anywhere on the internet). This fact doesn't diminish you.
FWIW I've had plenty of therapy, mostly for good. It didn't work at all when the therapist was rubbish, which is where you have clearly spent some time. It worked best when I worked out what I wanted to work on for that session and came in and told the therapist that. It was important to communicate this intent to the therapist (while letting them have input) but the real key is that I drove the work that day. It's my brain, I'm in charge. Turning up and relying on the therapist to drive things was sometimes necessary but rarely resulted in the best sessions. I understand you have been to a boat load of therapy but it's difficult to get a sense of what frame of mind or approach you took.
Beyond that reading, and accepting, a good bit of Buddhist philosophy, particularly zen/thien, has done more to get my mind on an even keel than therapy did but I don't think I would have done that work without therapy opening the door.
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Comment on "The therapeutic industry is platonic prostitution" in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentIf ever a citation was needed. This is massively off topic but I suspect the root of sentiments like the above is a lie of capitalism and marketing, which seeks to convince us that if you just buy...Plus, relationships in pre-industrialization weren't so deep as they are today
If ever a citation was needed.
This is massively off topic but I suspect the root of sentiments like the above is a lie of capitalism and marketing, which seeks to convince us that if you just buy this thing you'll be happier. A necessary cognitive side effect is that we discount the capacity of past peoples to have achieved intimacy, joy or happiness, because they didn't have cars or electricity or anything else we've been sold as imperative. Thus concludes this morning's potentially misguided hot take.
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Comment on "The therapeutic industry is platonic prostitution" in ~health.mental
lostwax Link ParentI relate to that feeling of being a square peg in a round hole societally. I have found though that in a reasonable sized city there are generally little niches where the square pegs hang out...Something I also learned, as someone that didn’t want that normal life of just get a job, settle down and start a family. That it is extremely rare to meet people who wanted to do anything other than that. Who don’t feel suffocated, or don’t feel like they’re dying on the inside doing a job they don’t actually care about. Mostly because they don’t care about anything. I’ve met people that want kids because it gives them something to do.
I relate to that feeling of being a square peg in a round hole societally. I have found though that in a reasonable sized city there are generally little niches where the square pegs hang out together and finding those niches has been incredibly important for me. I seem to find them in the arts and adjacent spaces but that's just me, I'm sure there are others.
I have, though, lived in a couple of places that were just too small to harbour any sizeable number of misfits and my god that is hard graft mentally.
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Comment on Kings of the losers in ~life
lostwax Link ParentAnd monoliths at that. There are awful women and awesome women, men the same. Any worldview that says "that group of people over there are all the same" should set off massive alarm bells. Alas,...What I notice most from this article is that it appears incels believe women, and perhaps themselves, are static objects that never change.
And monoliths at that. There are awful women and awesome women, men the same. Any worldview that says "that group of people over there are all the same" should set off massive alarm bells. Alas, gestures broadly
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Comment on What internet discussion sites remain? in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentProbably not without having other people familiar with the site vehemently disagree with me (which is part of the problem). Trying to distill my thoughts on this into something coherent is...Could you summarize the reasons for Metafilter’s decline?
Probably not without having other people familiar with the site vehemently disagree with me (which is part of the problem).
Trying to distill my thoughts on this into something coherent is difficult but factors include cack handed moderation and management, a culture that has grown among some users with policing language rather than intent - including assuming others are operating in bad faith if at all possible, the US centric nature of discussion (that's the English language internet, but mefi could be particularly bad at times) and constant appeals for money coupled with no transparency around where it was going. There's also a real concern from a significant cohort regarding Metafilter's standing that leads to an out of proportion amount of energy being spent on discussing Metafilter, defining Metafilter and codifying Metafilter. It's a degree of self obsession and sturm und drang I've never seen from any other site.
To me, the factors above are the ones that won out - 15 years ago some of those voices were there, but so were many others and, for me, it was a more pleasant place to be.
Stats for the site seem to be at https://mefist.at/
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Comment on What internet discussion sites remain? in ~tech
lostwax Link ParentI don't disagree, because, well, here we are, but I'm always surprised by this outcome. We don't have to jump through any technical hoops beyond anything you have to do to use tech things like...I don't disagree, because, well, here we are, but I'm always surprised by this outcome. We don't have to jump through any technical hoops beyond anything you have to do to use tech things like Instagram to use tildes and unlike examples like the fediverse it Just Works. Why this environment seems to self select tech people I actually have little idea.
I'm only one generation off and your perception fits with mine. Aboriginals and other societies working along those lines weren't or aren't farming in the sense that you and I know it though (this can be super political and by many definitions their land management could be called farming, still, not like you're thinking) and I don't think much of what you think of as farming life can be applied to their life.
My perception on this is formed through a heap of disparate sources over many years, much of it picked up incidentally. I'm half tempted to go looking for proper sources at this point but what I'm building today isn't going to put itself together.