Thoughts on SSRIs?

I take a very small dose of SSRI to help with daily chronic headaches. They cut the number of headaches I get about in half. They've been pretty useful to me.

You say:

I'm just curious how I should be viewing these changes in me: Are they really me without depression/anxiety or is it a more lurid exaggerated version of that?

I've heard others ask that question, and one response I heard that struck a chord with me was that the meds aren't changing who you are, the depression was obscuring who you are and the meds let you be you again. I don't know if that will help you, but I liked that sentiment.

I've been on multiple SSRIs and SNRIs for almost 20 years now. I'm really glad they are working well for you! My experience has been pretty mixed - none of them have addressed the tiredness/exhaustion part of my depression, so there might be some other underlying cause of that. But worse, the side effects (sexual) have been very frustrating to me, and they only somewhat treat my depression (I still have awful can't-get-out-of-bed self-loathing days), seemingly by erasing most emotion altogether.

Having said that, I'm much better off with then than without them, so I'm still taking them. I wish I could try something like Wellbutrin instead, but unfortunately I have epilepsy so that isn't an option.

Best of luck to you! :) Sounds like they're working out for you.

I have no expertise or experience here, but Scott Alexander is an actual psychiatrist and this article on the website of his medical practice seems pretty balanced and thorough and mostly consistent with what other people say.

So Disclaimer Time:
I have bipolar so my experience with SSRIs is not typical. For me they provoked a manic episode within two weeks of starting. That was mistaken for schizophrenia, and a whole six year mess ensued trying to get the right diagnosis. So from a certain point of view they worked great. 😛Just watch yourself carefully over the next few weeks because if you have bipolar it'll send you on a rocket ride to god only knows where.
That said I want to amplify a point that others have made in this thread and that is Pills Don't Teach Skills. In other words start talk therapy, you'll need it. Even with good meds in the right dose there will be days when it won't seem to work. On those days you'll need the skills to analyze your own thoughts and deterimine what is distorted, what is entirely false, and what is really you.
As to your question all the medicine does is correct the flawed biochemical process only you can determine what's really you

I think SSRIs are an extremely useful tool in mental health recovery that puts people in better positions to work on lifestyle choices and behaviors that can lead to long-term recovery and maintenance.

Combining SSRIs with other proven methods of mental health recovery is a winning combination with the ultimate goal being slowly reducing the need for medication long term (if possible). SSRIs are not always useful (my partner takes an SNRI) but finding one that fits you and then finding the right dosage can be extremely helpful. I think having the patience to maintain usage and document moods daily is helpful to finding what works right for you.

Are they really me without depression/anxiety or is it a more lurid exaggerated version of that?

There is an idea within Buddhism that perceptions in this world are never inherently true. The way one person experiences something will not apply the same to another person. The way that we respond individually to experiences is a culmination of genetics, our past, our current mood, history, etc. I tend to use that way of thinking to sometimes distance myself from emotions/feelings so I can keep an open mind and also to understand why my reaction to something is the way it is. That distancing often helps me from letting anger or other harsh emotions dictate my actions.

I've never been on them. I think perhaps I ought to be, but have never made the jump, despite all the research I've done that showed the benefits way outnumber the few rare, minor risks.

My understanding is SSRIs correct for a flawed biochemical process. If you bought a leaky bucket and patched it, is it the bucket as it should be, or is it a tape-enhanced bucket? I'm of the idea that the patched bucket is the bucket functioning as it should. Which is more you, the broken bucket, or the working one?

Or as a psych professor I had put it: Mental illness is illness. You aren't your cold, it's a temporary, treatable condition that can go away (generally).

The general goal in psychiatry isn't to reprogram you with chemicals, but to fix those issues that have psychochemical causes in concert with those that are psychological in root, which is why, for example, it is recommended to do talk therapy when starting SSRI treatment.

Hey, fellow enjoyer of SSRIs. I started them about a year ago, and am now in the process of weaning off. I'm completely with you, in your praise. Someone already posted Scott Siskind'd blog, which I have found to be a very useful resource on SSRI's specifically. I'm still in the process of finding a good therapist and building my meditation habits because I believe that those are key to my long term health. That being said, I was trying those things without the escitalopram, and life was nowhere near what it is now. Somedays the flowers just pop, and music hits different, and I can just sit and read a book for fun. Couldn't do that for years prior to medication.

I experienced most side effects in the first few weeks - everytime I was upping my dosage. It was awful, I had brain fog, upturned sleep cycle, increased sense of smell & nausea, anxiety, generally feeling hot, even one instance of a brain zap. Thankfully, none of these lasted, and I was fine once I'd settled on a dosage.

I've also experienced mild anorgasmia, but, since I'm not anxious all the while, the actual sex is more fun. So I can't really see this as a negative? On the other hand, I've experienced a consistent increase in appetite which I suppose is healthy. But I just find it annoying af because I've had to triple the amount I cook (and clean).

I regret not taking the leap earlier, I waited for about 7-8 years before speaking to a psychiatrist. My life would have been very different if I'd had access to SSRIs and therapy when I first started to fall sick.

That being said, I sometimes wonder at how much I've changed because of my depression and the increased self awareness and ability to relate to other people with anxiety, etc which I found hard to do prior to developing it. I'm not saying people should suffer for this sort of knowledge, but I can't help but see the upside to my illness too.

I don't share your worries about the 'real me' reg. SSRIs. Kiskind's blog points out that we don't feel like 'different people' on caffeine, so why treat other drugs differently. I'm happy to chat with you on this issue, if you have thoughts.

I was just put on medication last monday, it's been an interesting change. I'm no longer getting irritable at little things, I'm not constantly stressed or worried, my frequent panic attacks seem to be less frequent (will see on that one), but overall it's been a good experience. I was hesitant to take medication because I didn't want it to change who I was, and I didn't want to use it as a crutch to getting better, but I can safely say without a doubt it was the right choice.

A bit hard to generalize. They've mostly been proven to work by multiple studies. Usually there will be some kind of side effect, the kind you can live with. If for some reason you cannot, you just change the dosage or switch to another one (sometimes another class). Don't believe the "haters", it's usually not that bad. But make sure that you actually need them, of course. SRRIs take a long time to work so be patient. They are also not magical and won't fix your life for you, but they help a lot. The first time your antidepressant "hits" can be kinda trippy, in the long run you'll just feel normal.

Edit: about identity, what is really you to begin with? Can you hold it in your hands? Can you weigh it with a scale?

I don't have much to add besides what's already been said, but one question is how long have you been on SSRIs? Typically nothing happens until you've been on them for 4-6 weeks. There are many moving pieces (all valid) in life that can account for a changed mood/state. If you've just started with SSRIs it may be that whatever you're feeling is not what the same as the effect of being on SSRIs long term would be.

My SIL says her medication is like "setting the dial to the right setting". Her brain is wired to be anxious at "11" and she wants it to be down at a "6-7". Sometimes finding that right dose or pill can take some time.

Best of luck! Feel free to hit me up if you ever need someone to chat with.