18 votes

Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like three cheers, fintech and tunnel of fudge. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was alert.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

21 comments

  1. [7]
    patience_limited
    Link
    Love will find a way. Also, NY Official Proposes New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, And Vermont Join Canada As New Province

    Love will find a way.

    Woman who wanted a baby while in prison, falls pregnant after inmate sends his sperm through the air vent

    Also, NY Official Proposes New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, And Vermont Join Canada As New Province

    10 votes
    1. [5]
      chocobean
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      I play dwarf fortress, and in the olden days animals would propagate as long as there's one male in the map and one female (for relevant species). Which means your caged female cat in the depths...

      I play dwarf fortress, and in the olden days animals would propagate as long as there's one male in the map and one female (for relevant species). Which means your caged female cat in the depths of your dungeon would give birth to kittens if the caravan passes by with another caged male cat. Propagation by spores, as it were.

      Like grandma says, this is ludicrous and ridiculous, even if this is technically not air borne gametes transmission.

      For those curious but don't want to read the full article

      methodology They created a line using bedding material which they used to transport the package.

      “I put the semen in Saran Wrap [plastic] every day like five times a day for like a month straight,” Depaz told the TV station.

      “From there, I had placed it inside of, you know, the yeast infection applicators,


      Re: states joining as Canadian province

      Welcome! I would love for the Big Apple to join Red Maple. As of 2023, population in millions:

      19.6 New York 
      7.0 Massachusetts 
      3.6 Connecticut 
      0.6 Vermont
      40.1 Canada 
      4.7 Alberta
      

      We would gain something like 70% more population over night, nearly a half trillion dollar of taxes, and valuable schools and real estate. My best friends points out we'd probably lose Alberta if that was the case, but just between you and I, I think we can afford that . It would be amazing to finally stop having Ontario acting like the biggest thing heaven made.

      Also Washington, Oregon and California would probably want to come too. Welcome!

      6 votes
      1. patience_limited
        Link Parent
        I was mildly disappointed to learn that the "pregnancy by bullet" origin of the epithet, "son of a gun", is false.

        I was mildly disappointed to learn that the "pregnancy by bullet" origin of the epithet, "son of a gun", is false.

        4 votes
      2. [2]
        patience_limited
        Link Parent
        Also, can we get Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana (unlikely) and Pennsylvania to join in? Alaska is looking lonely, too. Though Ontario would be even more unbalanced...

        Also, can we get Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana (unlikely) and Pennsylvania to join in? Alaska is looking lonely, too. Though Ontario would be even more unbalanced...

        4 votes
        1. chocobean
          Link Parent
          Honestly, maybe America needs to do a No Homers Club restart: come join Canada, everybody vote NDP or some other progressive socialist environmentally sound new party. Individual cities in red...

          Honestly, maybe America needs to do a No Homers Club restart: come join Canada, everybody vote NDP or some other progressive socialist environmentally sound new party. Individual cities in red states can come too if they vote that way. Meanwhile the Queen of Canada Poilievre Doug Ford sovereign citizen types can go join the Maga folks they love so much. :/

          3 votes
      3. Asinine
        Link Parent
        On this note, I grew up Californian and look up the "State of Jefferson" ... I loved the idea and tried to leave CA as soon as I could, but now I'm in one of those states in NE that were left out...

        Also Washington, Oregon and California would probably want to come too. Welcome!

        On this note, I grew up Californian and look up the "State of Jefferson" ... I loved the idea and tried to leave CA as soon as I could, but now I'm in one of those states in NE that were left out (lol). Not that I want to join Canada, but I'm curious as to where NH and Maine would be left, as we'd be left over... (then again, I think we're also more chill states than Mass and NY by far...)

        2 votes
    2. jredd23
      Link Parent
      Very unlikely. Imaginative in story telling.

      Very unlikely. Imaginative in story telling.

      1 vote
  2. [4]
    mycketforvirrad
    Link
    Serbia: The man who unintentionally came to own a cemetery DW – Jelena Djukic-Pejic – 27th November 2024

    Serbia: The man who unintentionally came to own a cemetery

    Donje Medurovo is a village near the city of Nis in southeastern Serbia. In 2007, Slavisa Jovanovic's father sold a plot of land to the village authorities, which wanted to extend the local cemetery.

    Because the full agreed price was never paid, Jovanovic sued the municipality of Palilula, which is responsible for the matter and is one of the five municipalities belonging to the city of Nis.

    The resulting court case began in 2015. The Court of Appeal recently issued a shock verdict: instead of paying for the plot in full, the authorities should return it to its original owner.

    But Jovanovic had nothing to celebrate: since his father sold the land to the village, 150 people had been buried there.

    DW – Jelena Djukic-Pejic – 27th November 2024

    9 votes
    1. [3]
      chocobean
      Link Parent
      ..... That's kind of like ordering a meal, eating it all up, and then not paying for it and sending the empty bag back.

      ..... That's kind of like ordering a meal, eating it all up, and then not paying for it and sending the empty bag back.

      5 votes
      1. [2]
        jredd23
        Link Parent
        Colorful analogy

        Colorful analogy

        2 votes
        1. updawg
          Link Parent
          I'd even go more colorful and say you then relieve yourself of the former contents of the bag into the bag and then they are not allowed to get rid of the bag.

          I'd even go more colorful and say you then relieve yourself of the former contents of the bag into the bag and then they are not allowed to get rid of the bag.

          2 votes
  3. [4]
    chocobean
    Link
    Bear cub nicknamed "Selfie Bear" snatched from a tree to pose for photos is free at last, and doing well 6 people not smarter than the average bear, but as Mr Rogers says, look for the helpers....

    Bear cub nicknamed "Selfie Bear" snatched from a tree to pose for photos is free at last, and doing well

    The video, filmed by concerned bystanders, shows six people, a mix of adults and young people, standing near a fence outside an apartment complex.

    On the other side of the fence are two baby black bears, perched in a tree.

    The group is seen trying to pull the struggling bears out of the tree. A young woman manages to grab ahold of one of them long enough to pose for a picture with it, before dropping it.

    The bear, unable to get back over the fence to its sibling, scurries away in a fright. The people filming the video can be heard shouting, "Put it back! It's scared!"

    The bystanders who shot the footage reported the incident to police. North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission officers headed to the scene and found the cub in a nearby retention pond.

    "It was definitely shivering, probably because it was wet. Very scared, as most bear cubs are when they're in those sorts of situations," Hobbs said. "But otherwise, it looked to be in good health."

    6 people not smarter than the average bear, but as Mr Rogers says, look for the helpers. Selfie Bear is fine and that's good news

    8 votes
    1. [3]
      first-must-burn
      Link Parent

      Said one park ranger, “There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.”

      9 votes
      1. jredd23
        Link Parent
        Can be said of many others as well. Damn idiots.

        Can be said of many others as well. Damn idiots.

        3 votes
      2. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        I was watching a lot of elk tiktok during rut. And I'm not sure that the elk are smarter, but the tourists are definitely dumb. Oh boy I'm stunned more people don't get mauled by a bull

        I was watching a lot of elk tiktok during rut. And I'm not sure that the elk are smarter, but the tourists are definitely dumb. Oh boy I'm stunned more people don't get mauled by a bull

        3 votes
  4. Fishtail_Parka
    Link
    Hi Something from The Guardian newspaper. "Dead drops, PR stunts and punishment beatings..." text here At any one moment in towns and cities across Russia, thousands of drug packages lie buried in...

    Hi
    Something from The Guardian newspaper.
    "Dead drops, PR stunts and punishment beatings..."
    text here

    At any one moment in towns and cities across Russia, thousands of drug packages lie buried in the ground...

    4 votes
  5. [4]
    aphoenix
    Link
    Hawk Tuah Coin has failed - Hawk Tuah girl launched a crypto coin, which fell by 90% within hours.

    Hawk Tuah Coin has failed - Hawk Tuah girl launched a crypto coin, which fell by 90% within hours.

    2 votes
    1. [3]
      DefinitelyNotAFae
      Link Parent
      Honestly good for her for everything she's tried to do to make money off of it. It's far better than the usual shame people for their sexuality until they go away practice. I think doing crypto is...

      Honestly good for her for everything she's tried to do to make money off of it. It's far better than the usual shame people for their sexuality until they go away practice.

      I think doing crypto is stupid and hilarious but you know get that bag, girl.

      3 votes
      1. [2]
        aphoenix
        Link Parent
        I mostly agree, with a soupçon of concern that she's yet another right-wing grifter.

        I mostly agree, with a soupçon of concern that she's yet another right-wing grifter.

        2 votes
        1. DefinitelyNotAFae
          Link Parent
          The crypto is grifty but I haven't heard anything about her political opinions and crypto grift doesn't only live on one side of the aisle unfortunately. If I were a 22 year old with a stupid...

          The crypto is grifty but I haven't heard anything about her political opinions and crypto grift doesn't only live on one side of the aisle unfortunately.

          If I were a 22 year old with a stupid amount of fame and too much cash, I'd probably fall for stupid shit too, so I am hesitant that she's intentionally grifting.... But also, at this stage, I'm out of fucks to give about people falling for "hawk tuah coin"

          3 votes